If/When you're being pressured by your parents or peers on marriage, how do you push back?

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Lovette

Lovette

Well-known member
Jan 20, 2026
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My strategy is to subtly shift the subject from the abstract CONCEPT of marriage to a specific partner which may or may not exist. It's like they ask you, "when will you make an investment against inflation?" "when will you travel around to see the world?" "when will you go for an audition?" These obviously raise a series of questions, in case you fail to notice - "invest in what, do I even have the money?" "travel to where, why would I, do I have the time and energy?" "what audition, what are you even talking about, how do you assume have the talent?" Likewise, if I'm not dating anybody in the first place, and nobody's interested at me, whom am I supposed to marry? Myself? My cat?

If you are dating someone, or you're set up on a date with someone, however, then you can give a report on your progress, whether you or your partner is marriage material, whether your partner is a good match, whether they're serious for a relationship, whether you two are compatible, whether they're godly, whether they like you or not, whether they have marriage in mind as the end goal, that sort of thing.

So as you can see, if you follow their lead on the subject of marriage, you're on the hot seat, you have to reveal your attitude on marriage, and it could go political, ideological and thus very ugly, at least uncomfotable; but when you shift it to the reality of your situation or the merit of your partner, then you're off the hot seat, you're not married simply because there's nobody to marry, or your partner doesn't want marriage, it's not entirely your choice any more, it's just fate.
 
At 47 my family has done give up on me.

But I'm in southwest tennessee. I hear there are some parts of the world where there's a lot more pressure to get married.

Back when I was young enough to be considered an eligible bachelor, I just ignored the whole mess. They could talk, but I didn't really care enough to listen.
 
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Yep my dog is my dog till death (hers we expect) do us part. My parents have also pretty much given up on me, and mom has learned that she gets dirty looks when she starts speculating on such. But I think if I were ever in that situation again I'd put the other person on the spot: do they know someone suitable? What makes them think thus person would be a good match for me? And if they don't know anyone are they advising me to choose a miserable marriage over contented singleness? Why would they think that's a good idea?
 
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Better single than married to an abusive husband.

Or you just say...to who? And then they can't answer and will stop asking silly questions.
 
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