Hi @LilyLola, Welcome to CC!
Please don't ever let a high salary discourage you. The right man will be willing to pray with you over your situation with him and follow God's will.
I know that this will be an unpopular view, and please forgive my long post, but let me try to condense and share my entire financial history with you, because if I knew then what I knew now, it would have saved me years of heartaches, and vast amounts of money.
I know women are always stereotyped as being bad with money or shopaholics, but I always found the opposite problem. I was always taught to be frugal and save as much as I could, while I somehow wound up in relationships with men who spent money to try to drown their problems or emotions.
The day after I got married at 23, I went to surprise my husband by cleaning out his car, and started finding receipts... He had a credit card debt of over $10,000 he had never told me about. When the debt was paid down, he'd simply open more cards in secret and spend even more on games, clothes, whatever he wanted. And he eventually left for another girl by the time I was 25.
I've never been one to make much money. For some reason, God puts me around a lot of Type A personalities who love to climb the corporate ladder, start their own business, etc., but I never wanted that for myself. Rather, I know my specialty is being a good support person to great leaders with strong morals.
A long time after my divorce, I had a relationship with an alcoholic that was even worse, and he spent all his money on alcohol and things to smoke. I became a part time single parent to his kids, as he lost all ability to provide and care for them. I was paying for their food, clothes, Christmas and birthday presents, and the court cases he was fighting due to his alcoholism.
When I go on a date, I've often been in a situation where the man will tell me all about how women have always used him for money; at the end of the date, I just pay for whole check (for both of us) because I want him to see that not all women do this. Some of us have been at the opposite end of the table. But I also don't usually go out for a second date because I don't want to have to prove to someone that I'm not all the other women he's telling me about.
I also grew up in a church where the pastors felt that because they were spiritual gifted, they thought they were gifted in everything, including finances. And so, they would go on big fund-raising campaigns, specifically targeting the business people in the congregation (I know because I had family members they solicited frequently,) spent all the money on often-failed projects, digging the church even deeper into debt, then would simply come back with an even bigger "idea" that they were convinced was God's will (that of course, needed more funding.)
Just because someone is a certain gender, job, or calling does NOT mean they are good with finances. I have seen this over and over throughout my life in my own relationships, in others' relationships, in work situations, and in churches.
A few years ago, I was seeing a great guy who asked me to consider marriage, but we split up for various reasons, one being that he was the only one in his family who believed in working, and had several family members sponging off him. This might be important to consider in future relationships. Are you being recruited to keep sinking ships afloat?
I'm at an age now where my next financial step (hopefully) will be retirement. People often doubt my age and dismiss me as a little girl, but I'm very used to that(I also love t-shirts with my favorite cartoon characters on them, which I know doesn't help!)
My avatar picture was taken around December 2025 and in not too long of a time, I'll be at an age in which some places will consider me a senior citizen. There are several people here who have met me in person and can verify the things I post.I've said all this to say, I wish I would have pursued God much more in my relationships, because if I would have avoided some bad decisions, I have no doubt I could have retired at least 5 years ago -- maybe more.
And again, it wasn't because I made much money, but because I learned over time (after several of my own mistakes) how to best hang on to what I do have, how to tell the difference between wants and needs, how to delay gratification, and have followed God's direction to me to pay off all my debts and learn to invest as best as I can. I don't have fancy things, but what I do have is paid for, with no debt collectors or large sums being hung around my neck.
Back when I was married, my then-husband and I had plans to work hard, save up everything we could, retire early, and travel. When he left, one of the reasons I was so crushed was because I thought all my dreams had walked out the door with him and his new love.
But God told me, "You can still achieve those things." And now God has graciously introduced me to other singles through this site who were also financially responsible and would like to travel and go off on adventures.
Please don't ever feel limited by what someone else may think of your finances, because it sounds like you're in great shape. Don't ever forfeit that on purpose just because of what someone else thinks.
The most important Person's opinion about your finances, how you handle them, and when/if someone is to be a part of that, is God.
Best wishes to you and hope to see more of your posts around the forum!
