Let's Talk About The BRUTAL HONESTY Of Confronting the HARD TRUTHS Of Life.

[seoulsearch]

Hey Everyone,

I recently found a makeup artist on YouTube, I think in her late 40's, who specializes in working on "mature skin." One thing I really love is her brutal honesty. The beauty community is very excited about an updated, re-release of a very popular product (the Too Faced Peach Palette,) and she was showing how to use it.

At the beginning of the clip, she bluntly says, "Ok, we're all excited about this product. But, IT'S NOW 10 YEARS LATER -- and SO IS YOUR FACE." That made me laugh so hard!! Talk about not holding any punches!! And so, her video was all about making this product work on skin that's way, way past the age of 25!

Do you have times in life where your forget certain things about yourself -- and the harsh reality is a brutal truth to face?

I've mentioned before that being Asian growing up in an all-white town, I never thought about being "different" -- until someone "slanted" their eyes at me. I remember rejecting, but then having to accept what I saw as a very hard truth -- that I was always going to be different, and would never be able to blend in like I wanted. It took a very long time, especially as a youngster -- but now I try to embrace it.

One of my summer goals is to clean out my closets. I am now facing the hard truth that, like most people, I was "saving" certain things in my closet from years ago that I can't -- and won't, fit into -- as "motivation" to eat healthier -- but it's not working! And so, I must be brutally honest with myself in donating or tossing said things out!

Finally, I went to go see a friend I've known since I was a kid.

Her kids were still fairly little the last time visited, but now they're all grown up. And you know, it's kind of sad, knowing that you don't have the same relationship with them as when they were little (you can't just go jump on a trampoline together and talk it all out.) But there were good things too, like my honorary nephew seeking me out to talk about adult life. Goodness, it's brutal truth when you realize kids have really grown up, isn't it?

And the harshest reality of all me was that my friend and I are, of course, no longer kids (that passed a long time ago.) We've lost what used to be our youthful hope, and have now moved into levels of responsibility neither of us has ever known before. And the hard truth is that life has changed -- not for the better -- and it's scary.

How about you?

I know this is a personal topic, so only share what you are comfortable with. Answers can be silly, serious, or anything in between.

* What were/are some hard truths you've realized about your health? The fact that you can't eat as much, run as fast, stay up as late, or take on as much? What have you decided to do with the clothes you have to admit to yourself no longer fit?

* What are some hard truths you've learned about family, friends, or church? (I have realized that some people I love are suffering even more than I had thought, and it has me praying extra hard for them.)

* What are some hard truths you've learned about life? (Paths you wish you would have taken, things you wish you would have learned, jobs you wish you could have stayed at, etc.)


However, we also serve a God of hope, joy, and fresh starts.

* What are some GOOD things that have come out of learning and accepting all these hard truths?

For me, one of my hard truths was that I can be an enabler -- and I was making every excuse for what I thought was my own benefit.

Once God started dealing with me over this, it was a long, slow, painful process (during which I fell on my butt multiple times,) but things gradually got a whole lot better.

How about for you?

 

[RodB651]

What were/are some hard truths you've realized about your health? The fact that you can't eat as much, run as fast, stay up as late, or take on as much? What have you decided to do with the clothes you have to admit to yourself no longer fit?

You just can't eat like you ate years ago!
Age catches up with you. Sometimes what you see in the mirror can be brutal but you have to take that look and decide what you will do from here out.

What are some hard truths you've learned about life? (Paths you wish you would have taken, things you wish you would have learned, jobs you wish you could have stayed at, etc.)

If I had listened to Mom back in the 80s, I wonder where i would be now. She kept telling me I needed to get into real estate. I wouldn't listen. I spent my money as soon as I got paid. I lived in the suburbs of Atlanta at the time and real estate would have been easy to get into. But I didn't do it so thats that.

What are some hard truths you've learned about family, friends, or church? (I have realized that some people I love are suffering even more than I had thought, and it has me praying extra hard for them.)

Life moves on..
Family moves or passes on..
Friends come and go..
Church is Church.. you'll go here for a while, then you'll move on to the next...

 

[Lynx]

 

[RodB651]

That cartoon reminds me..

Back when I was in college, I was sitting in front of a computer terminal (Oh how I miss those days!) and wondering... If I were to sit here and write the code to map out my daily routines etc.. How short would that code be? I follow the same routine everyday. Am I really that predictable?

 

[seoulsearch]

Two other brutal truths I'm facing:

1. I'm going gray -- particularly, I have a gray streak right in the middle of my bangs. I used to color over it with dark hairspray!

But now I've just given up trying. (Plus, it rains a lot here, and how embarrassing would that be if my hair color literally started melting down my face!)

Alas.

Well, it's worked for Bonnie Raitt, Stacy London, and Rogue from the X-men -- and she landed Gambit, so I guess it can't be all that bad!!





2. After about 7 years of putting it off, I am finally... Getting bifocals! LOL.

I've tried to hold out, but this time 'round even I have to admit I need that second prescription. But I'm just going to get a separate pair for seeing close up.

My motion sickness is getting so extreme (I have to listen to a lot of YouTube videos rather than watch them,) that even my eye doctor agreed putting both prescriptions in one pair would be a bad idea.

 

[Lanolin]

Huh are you talking about aging?

My mum used to say everyone's getting older, nobody is getting younger. Ain't that the truth!

Actually it was my mum's birthday yesterday. We celebrated by going out to yum cha. Of course she's no longer here and won't be growing any older, but doesn't mean we can't still celebrate and have yum cha.

I can't think of any 'hard' truths at the moment. I'm very accepting of the truth actually. I'd rather know the truth than have people lie to me. And my eyes aren't that slanted. They just aren't completely round.

 

[Suze]

Mentally I feel better than I ever did , I feel like a happy 15 year old . I was not happy when I actually was 15 .
Physically , I wouldn't b able to get out of bed if it wasn't for the morphine patches that I wear .
Hardest truths ? It is absolutely impossible to make someone love u .
Most people will drop u like a plague ridden handkerchief once u become useless to them .
Do all the good that u possibly can in this life BUT don't ever expect anyone to thank you .
Best Truth is the Truth ; God is real , alive and with u right now and , He's on your side and ,His love is all u need to get u through this crappy world and into the next awesome one ! Stick with Him no matter what this life throws at u . In your darkest hour , He is in that lonely room with u , He REALLY is

 

[seoulsearch]

Mentally I feel better than I ever did , I feel like a happy 15 year old . I was not happy when I actually was 15 .
Physically , I wouldn't b able to get out of bed if it wasn't for the morphine patches that I wear .
Hardest truths ? It is absolutely impossible to make someone love u .
Most people will drop u like a plague ridden handkerchief once u become useless to them .
Do all the good that u possibly can in this life BUT don't ever expect anyone to thank you .
Best Truth is the Truth ; God is real , alive and with u right now and , He's on your side and ,His love is all u need to get u through this crappy world and into the next awesome one ! Stick with Him no matter what this life throws at u . In your darkest hour , He is in that lonely room with u , He REALLY is

So much wisdom in this post, thank you @Suze!

And unfortunately (well, for me at least,) I refused to learn a lot of these lessons without repeated failure.

And you are so right in saying we should do good without expecting anything back. I know this has been one of issues, thinking a person might at least be nice if I did such-and-such.

Nope!

But that was me being foolish, and failing to recognize that this is how God must feel about us at times, because I know there are many times I totally disregard what God does for me. Definitely an area where I need work.

I'm just so happy to hear that you are feeling better and happier in your life!

That was truly a joy to read.

 

[seoulsearch]

It's been hard to admit that I'm getting to a stage where I have to give up (or cut down) some of the things I love.

I can't do the sewing or finer stitching I used to because my hands and eyes get too strained. So I've found an older lady who quilts and I get to do some of the "grunt" work for her (cutting material to specific measurements, etc.)

Of course it's not the same, but it makes me feel like I still have a toe in the game.

I'm also having to face the truth that I might have to go to a specialist (NNOOOOO!!), as I've been putting off/ignoring some pains in my joints.

I tried to hand-write a letter a few days ago and had to stop after less than a page.

Fortunately, it doesn't seem to be as bad when I type -- so at least for now, I can still keep cranking out posts and threads!

 

[seoulsearch]

The toughest brutal truth I'm currently facing though is watching my loved ones lose certain abilities, and having to give up the things they love to do.

God has been very gracious in helping us find substitutes to keep them busy and active, but it's painful to see someone have to stop doing what was such an essential part of their life.

 

[Tall_Timbers]

* What were/are some hard truths you've realized about your health? The fact that you can't eat as much, run as fast, stay up as late, or take on as much? What have you decided to do with the clothes you have to admit to yourself no longer fit?

I used to think I must have incredible genetics. I was very fit, a marathon runner, and enjoyed fitness activities. At the young age of 33 I had an accident resulting in a lower back injury and I've been a basket case ever since with more and more physical problems jumping on the bandwagon of my life. So much for excellent genetics... not! I'm resigned to do the best I can with a broken body and don't really expect to be around too many more years. I'm looking forward to what comes next!

* What are some hard truths you've learned about life? (Paths you wish you would have taken, things you wish you would have learned, jobs you wish you could have stayed at, etc.)

In Christ, life is wonderful. Without Christ, there is nothing of value in one's existence, save the possibility of finding Christ.

Religion is the greatest stumbling block to finding Christ.

 

[Lynx]

The toughest brutal truth I'm currently facing though is watching my loved ones lose certain abilities, and having to give up the things they love to do.

God has been very gracious in helping us find substitutes to keep them busy and active, but it's painful to see someone have to stop doing what was such an essential part of their life.

Yup.

Just today they talked to Dad and said they will be discharging him July 26th, two Sundays from now. I had the unpleasant task of telling my store managers that I will be leaving in 2 weeks. I said I might be going a month, or I might be gone for 7 years. No idea how long I will need to take care of Dad. And lo there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Eh they'll be all right.

Perspective is pretty important in these matters.

Personally I'm just glad we are doing this part of Dad's life in the US. I crunched the numbers and we can easily keep the house ticking over on his social security check alone. He makes more per month than I do. I don't mean we can pinch pennies and make it, I mean it's not even close. We will have plenty each month.

Can you imagine trying to pull something like this off in certain less advantageous countries?

I may not be looking forward to the next few months, but all things considered we still have it pretty good. "It could be worse" is not just an empty consolation, it's a fact that is played out in many other countries every day.

 

[seoulsearch]

Yup.

Just today they talked to Dad and said they will be discharging him July 26th, two Sundays from now. I had the unpleasant task of telling my store managers that I will be leaving in 2 weeks. I said I might be going a month, or I might be gone for 7 years. No idea how long I will need to take care of Dad. And lo there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Eh they'll be all right.

Perspective is pretty important in these matters.

Personally I'm just glad we are doing this part of Dad's life in the US. I crunched the numbers and we can easily keep the house ticking over on his social security check alone. He makes more per month than I do. I don't mean we can pinch pennies and make it, I mean it's not even close. We will have plenty each month.

Can you imagine trying to pull something like this off in certain less advantageous countries?

I may not be looking forward to the next few months, but all things considered we still have it pretty good. "It could be worse" is not just an empty consolation, it's a fact that is played out in many other countries every day.

First your Grandma, and now your Dad.

May God richly bless you for looking after your family. Because of you, they've been able to spend their later years close to family, an and in familiar surroundings.

I've never once, in all these years, not ever heard you complain or ask, "Why does this fall on me?", when there are plenty of other family members.

Instead, you always say, "It's the least I can do, and I owe them a whole lot more than I could ever pay back in this life."

I hope I can have nearly as good of an attitude as you do as time goes on, and things get all the more challenging.

One thing is for sure.

If God ever does open the door for our little CC Group to live close to each other someday, we are going to be a bunch of professional caretakers, looking after each other.

 

[seoulsearch]

I used to think I must have incredible genetics. I was very fit, a marathon runner, and enjoyed fitness activities. At the young age of 33 I had an accident resulting in a lower back injury and I've been a basket case ever since with more and more physical problems jumping on the bandwagon of my life. So much for excellent genetics... not! I'm resigned to do the best I can with a broken body and don't really expect to be around too many more years. I'm looking forward to what comes next!



In Christ, life is wonderful. Without Christ, there is nothing of value in one's existence, save the possibility of finding Christ.

Religion is the greatest stumbling block to finding Christ.

I am so sorry about your injuries and medical challenges.

For what it's worth, I always enjoy your life stories -- it sounds like you've done an incredible job with what you were dealt.

May God bless you richly!

 

[passion84god]

Hardest truths ? It is absolutely impossible to make someone love u .
Most people will drop u like a plague ridden handkerchief once u become useless to them .
Do all the good that u possibly can in this life BUT don't ever expect anyone to thank you .

I can relate, and thank you for your honesty.

 

[passion84god]

What are some hard truths you've learned about life? (Paths you wish you would have taken, things you wish you would have learned, jobs you wish you could have stayed at, etc.)

That only what has been done for Christ and others will matter in the end. It makes me wonder if I have even begun living yet.​

 

[Lanolin]

The hard truth I have to face, not just myself, but for others is that 'climate change' is real, the ozone hole is real, and I still haven't gotten into the habit of wearing sunscreen EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Because UV rays are so damaging here, it won't be surprising that all of us will have to deal with skin cancer or any kind of cancer one day.

Just about every one I know who has died or is ill had or has cancer.

 

[Lanolin]

Or is it 'inconvenient truth'. Either one. We live in a fallen, polluted world.

 

[SoulFaith]

My relationship with my body has changed many times throughout my life.
As a teenager, I was much curvier than the other girls my age and I was bullied at school for two years because of it. During my final year of middle school, I finally reached the point where I thought, "One day I'll show them." The final blow came when my father made what he intended as a joke about my appearance. It broke my heart.

That summer I lost more than half of my body weight and developed an eating disorder. When I started high school, even my friends didn't recognize me at first. They thought I was a new student. The bullying stopped and everyone became quiet. Because I had spent the whole summer exercising, I suddenly became the best in my class at endurance sports. My PE teacher could hardly believe it. The girl who had always been last had become the first.

Looking back at photos now, I don't see a beautiful, successful young woman. I see a painfully thin, sad girl desperately trying to be perfect so that she would finally be accepted.

Later in life, my father wanted me to marry young and chose a husband who was nothing like me. I accepted it because I believed that was the right thing to do.

Then came years of pregnancies. Almost every year or every other year. My body changed constantly and so did my weight. My closet was always full of clothes that were either too big or too small. My husband wanted me to dress so I wouldn't attract attention. No bright colors. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I never felt beautiful or loved in his eyes. I was always "too fat" or somehow not enough and I heard hurtful jokes about my appearance far too often.

In my thirties, when my marriage was falling apart, I developed another eating disorder after dieting got out of control. I dyed my hair, wore heavy makeup like a mask, completely changed my style and tried to become someone else. Then came the age crisis and I became incredibly hard on myself.

For years I held on to old clothes, hoping one day I'd fit into them again. Around the age of forty, I finally donated most of them. I remember looking at tiny skirts and low-rise jeans and wondering how I had ever worn them. Instead, I chose clothes that felt comfortable, beautiful and true to who I was.
One of my coworkers also said something that stayed with me:"Stop being so hard on yourself. You're an amazing woman. If your jeans are too tight, go buy a bigger pair, smile and enjoy your life."
Those simple words carried more wisdom than I realized at the time.

Now, as I approach fifty, I honestly feel happier and more beautiful than ever before. I'm finally comfortable being exactly who I am. My skin has aged well and I no longer feel the need to hide behind makeup. My black hair now has beautiful silver strands that remind me of moonlight and instead of fighting them, I've learned to appreciate them.

One of the hardest truths I've had to accept is that I will never again have the body I had at 18, 30 or even 40 and that's okay. Every season of life leaves its own marks. Today, I see those changes not as something to hide, but as reminders of a life that has been lived and of God's faithfulness through every season.

God patiently taught me that my value has never depended on my weight, my clothes or anyone else's opinion of me. My worth comes from Him alone. I am loved because I am His. Not because I look perfect.

It took me many years to understand what truly matters in life, but I am deeply grateful that God never gave up on me. He gently taught me to see myself through His eyes instead of the world's.

 

[Lynx]

My relationship with my body has changed many times throughout my life.
As a teenager, I was much curvier than the other girls my age and I was bullied at school for two years because of it. During my final year of middle school, I finally reached the point where I thought, "One day I'll show them." The final blow came when my father made what he intended as a joke about my appearance. It broke my heart.

That summer I lost more than half of my body weight and developed an eating disorder. When I started high school, even my friends didn't recognize me at first. They thought I was a new student. The bullying stopped and everyone became quiet. Because I had spent the whole summer exercising, I suddenly became the best in my class at endurance sports. My PE teacher could hardly believe it. The girl who had always been last had become the first.

Looking back at photos now, I don't see a beautiful, successful young woman. I see a painfully thin, sad girl desperately trying to be perfect so that she would finally be accepted.

Later in life, my father wanted me to marry young and chose a husband who was nothing like me. I accepted it because I believed that was the right thing to do.

Then came years of pregnancies. Almost every year or every other year. My body changed constantly and so did my weight. My closet was always full of clothes that were either too big or too small. My husband wanted me to dress so I wouldn't attract attention. No bright colors. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I never felt beautiful or loved in his eyes. I was always "too fat" or somehow not enough and I heard hurtful jokes about my appearance far too often.

In my thirties, when my marriage was falling apart, I developed another eating disorder after dieting got out of control. I dyed my hair, wore heavy makeup like a mask, completely changed my style and tried to become someone else. Then came the age crisis and I became incredibly hard on myself.

For years I held on to old clothes, hoping one day I'd fit into them again. Around the age of forty, I finally donated most of them. I remember looking at tiny skirts and low-rise jeans and wondering how I had ever worn them. Instead, I chose clothes that felt comfortable, beautiful and true to who I was.
One of my coworkers also said something that stayed with me:"Stop being so hard on yourself. You're an amazing woman. If your jeans are too tight, go buy a bigger pair, smile and enjoy your life."
Those simple words carried more wisdom than I realized at the time.

Now, as I approach fifty, I honestly feel happier and more beautiful than ever before. I'm finally comfortable being exactly who I am. My skin has aged well and I no longer feel the need to hide behind makeup. My black hair now has beautiful silver strands that remind me of moonlight and instead of fighting them, I've learned to appreciate them.

One of the hardest truths I've had to accept is that I will never again have the body I had at 18, 30 or even 40 and that's okay. Every season of life leaves its own marks. Today, I see those changes not as something to hide, but as reminders of a life that has been lived and of God's faithfulness through every season.

God patiently taught me that my value has never depended on my weight, my clothes or anyone else's opinion of me. My worth comes from Him alone. I am loved because I am His. Not because I look perfect.

It took me many years to understand what truly matters in life, but I am deeply grateful that God never gave up on me. He gently taught me to see myself through His eyes instead of the world's.

"I see my reflection in Your eyes
I hardly recognize it's me

Cause I see me in a different light
There's a different kind of light in me"