Abstinence/Waiting/Lust/Sin

[FredBotswana]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

 

[Seeker47]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

Can you be a little more specific? Please give us a verse or passage that identifies your action as sin.

 

[ResidentAlien]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

I've been where you are and struggled with self-control for a long, long time. Here is what I learned:

It's admirable that you are looking for help; however, you're looking in the wrong place. The solution can only come from you. You have to decide you're never going to do that again and then let God guide you. You must be willing to do whatever it takes; no more half measures as they say in the 12-step programs. God told Cain in Genesis 4:7: "But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."

Marriage will probably help your situation, but it's not a magic bullet. You must still know how to exercise self-control even after you're married.

If you live somewhere where they have a sex addiction support group, that might help; but even so, it still comes down to you being the one who has to do it. No one can do it for you.

I will pray for you and am happy to answer questions.

 

[JaumeJ]

1
Of David. Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
2
Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits;
3
Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;
4
Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
5
Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
6
Yahweh performs righteous deeds And judgments for all who are oppressed.
7
He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the sons of Israel.

 

[Gideon300]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

When I struggled with this after my marriage failed, I pleaded with God for the answer. He said, "Resist the devil and he will flee". So I did. And the temptation dissipated immediately. I had at least 10 years of freedom. I also avoided any visual temptation where possible. For example, youtube throws up some inappropriate thumbnails at times. I click "not interested" to get rid of them.​

 

[Seeker47]

Can you be a little more specific? Please give us a verse or passage that identifies your action as sin.

I believe sin is clearly, either explicitly or implicitly, identified in scripture. Based on your post I am not fully convinced you are committing sin.

Not everything that is bad for us is sin. There may well be negative consequences from you actions and avoiding the behavior may be best, but condemning yourself is not.

For example, I may decide to eat only bead, and nothing else. This will be bad for me and there can be serious health issues, but it is not identified as sin and will not send me to hell.

Deal with this as best you can with prayer and support, but cast off the guilt.

 

[michaelharrell]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?
https://essaypay.com/blog/interesting-compare-and-contrast-essay-topics/
Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

Brother, I think a lot more Christian men struggle with this than they admit. It's good that you're not trying to excuse your sin and that you keep bringing it to God instead of giving up.

I wouldn't assume that every failure delays meeting your future wife. We all stumble in different ways, and God's timing isn't based on us earning His blessings by being perfect. Keep repenting, but also look at what usually leads up to those moments. Sometimes changing your routine, avoiding certain triggers, and reaching out to another mature Christian for accountability can make a huge difference.

Don't let shame convince you that you've ruined God's plan. Get back up, keep seeking Christ, and trust that He's still working in you.

 

[Suze]

Brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am a Christian man who deeply desires to be married someday. I have been praying earnestly for God to lead me to the woman He has ordained for me. By His grace, I have been able to remain sexually abstinent for several months at a time—sometimes six months, sometimes even as long as eight months.

However, there comes a point when the battle against sexual temptation becomes very intense on the sixth or eighth month. Sadly, instead of standing firm, I give in and commit sexual sin. Each time this happens, I repent sincerely and seek the Lord's forgiveness, but I also find myself wondering how to overcome this recurring struggle.

I know that God is faithful, and I truly desire to walk in purity and honor Him with both my body and my heart. I am not looking to justify my sin, but rather to seek biblical wisdom, encouragement, and practical counsel from fellow believers who may have walked a similar path.

How have you remained steadfast in seasons of prolonged waiting? What Scriptures, disciplines, or godly practices have helped you resist temptation while trusting God's timing for marriage? Does this succumbing to temptation prolongs the time of me meeting that woman?

Thank you, and may the Lord bless you all.

Like one or two others on here , I am not convinced that what u r doing is sinful . God does not want us to sin so , He is very clear in the Bible , about telling us what He considers to b sinful . God lets us know , in His Word the Bible , exactly what sin is . Can u find what u r talking about , in the Bible , as a sin ?
If u still feel your behaviour is sinful , then here is a tip for u , whenever I am tempted to do something that I'm convinced is a sin and that I should definitely not do it , I try to remember a time when I know for sure that God answered my prayers . When I prayed for something to happen and , by the Grace of God it did or , when I prayed desperately for something not to happen and , by the Grace of God , it didn't happen . I think on those things and remember what God did , specifically for me , because I asked Him to . That same loving , kind , generous God that did those great things , that meant so much to me , He is watching me right now and , He knows what I'm thinking about , He knows I'm thinking about doing something that He doesn't want me to do . After all the wonderful things He has done for me , can I not just resist this temptation ? For the sake of the love and kindness that He has shown me ? Can I just not say ' no ' and turn my back on sin ?
That usually works for me . Remember , the love that He shows u every day .

 

[FredBotswana]

Can you be a little more specific? Please give us a verse or passage that identifies your action as sin.

Galatians 5:19-21: "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery... I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God

 

[FredBotswana]

I've been where you are and struggled with self-control for a long, long time. Here is what I learned:

It's admirable that you are looking for help; however, you're looking in the wrong place. The solution can only come from you. You have to decide you're never going to do that again and then let God guide you. You must be willing to do whatever it takes; no more half measures as they say in the 12-step programs. God told Cain in Genesis 4:7: "But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it."

Marriage will probably help your situation, but it's not a magic bullet. You must still know how to exercise self-control even after you're married.

If you live somewhere where they have a sex addiction support group, that might help; but even so, it still comes down to you being the one who has to do it. No one can do it for you.

I will pray for you and am happy to answer questions.

Thanks for the reply - I have decided that i am never going to do it again, i have done whatever it takes, and the on the 8th month i fall. "Marriage will probably help your situation, but it's not a magic bullet"- i am succumbing because i dont have a woman, to tell you the truth, if she was here i wouldn't be doing this sin, this is why i can stay up to 8 months

 

[Seeker47]

Galatians 5:19-21: "The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery... I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God

Fair enough, if your behavior fits this definition then it is indeed sin and you need to deal with it as such. YHWH in His infinite grace, provided a way to do so. He is waiting for you to bring this to Him and then trust. In the mean time, guilt has no place, even if you sometimes backslide and fail. He especially loves it when you get up, dust yourself off and get back in the fight.

When you say marriage or "having a woman" will stop your sin you are putting your problem outside yourself. Don't count too heavily on that. This, like all sin is a "Heart" problem, it' internal.