Let's Talk About The BRUTAL HONESTY Of Confronting the HARD TRUTHS Of Life.

[SoulFaith]

"I see my reflection in Your eyes
I hardly recognize it's me

Cause I see me in a different light
There's a different kind of light in me"

Thank you so much. What a beautiful song and those lyrics touched my heart. They perfectly describe what God has been teaching me over the years. To stop seeing myself through the world's eyes and to start seeing myself through His eyes. Thank you for sharing it with me.

 

[seoulsearch]

My relationship with my body has changed many times throughout my life.
As a teenager, I was much curvier than the other girls my age and I was bullied at school for two years because of it. During my final year of middle school, I finally reached the point where I thought, "One day I'll show them." The final blow came when my father made what he intended as a joke about my appearance. It broke my heart.

That summer I lost more than half of my body weight and developed an eating disorder. When I started high school, even my friends didn't recognize me at first. They thought I was a new student. The bullying stopped and everyone became quiet. Because I had spent the whole summer exercising, I suddenly became the best in my class at endurance sports. My PE teacher could hardly believe it. The girl who had always been last had become the first.

Looking back at photos now, I don't see a beautiful, successful young woman. I see a painfully thin, sad girl desperately trying to be perfect so that she would finally be accepted.

Later in life, my father wanted me to marry young and chose a husband who was nothing like me. I accepted it because I believed that was the right thing to do.

Then came years of pregnancies. Almost every year or every other year. My body changed constantly and so did my weight. My closet was always full of clothes that were either too big or too small. My husband wanted me to dress so I wouldn't attract attention. No bright colors. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I never felt beautiful or loved in his eyes. I was always "too fat" or somehow not enough and I heard hurtful jokes about my appearance far too often.

In my thirties, when my marriage was falling apart, I developed another eating disorder after dieting got out of control. I dyed my hair, wore heavy makeup like a mask, completely changed my style and tried to become someone else. Then came the age crisis and I became incredibly hard on myself.

For years I held on to old clothes, hoping one day I'd fit into them again. Around the age of forty, I finally donated most of them. I remember looking at tiny skirts and low-rise jeans and wondering how I had ever worn them. Instead, I chose clothes that felt comfortable, beautiful and true to who I was.
One of my coworkers also said something that stayed with me:"Stop being so hard on yourself. You're an amazing woman. If your jeans are too tight, go buy a bigger pair, smile and enjoy your life."
Those simple words carried more wisdom than I realized at the time.

Now, as I approach fifty, I honestly feel happier and more beautiful than ever before. I'm finally comfortable being exactly who I am. My skin has aged well and I no longer feel the need to hide behind makeup. My black hair now has beautiful silver strands that remind me of moonlight and instead of fighting them, I've learned to appreciate them.

One of the hardest truths I've had to accept is that I will never again have the body I had at 18, 30 or even 40 and that's okay. Every season of life leaves its own marks. Today, I see those changes not as something to hide, but as reminders of a life that has been lived and of God's faithfulness through every season.

God patiently taught me that my value has never depended on my weight, my clothes or anyone else's opinion of me. My worth comes from Him alone. I am loved because I am His. Not because I look perfect.

It took me many years to understand what truly matters in life, but I am deeply grateful that God never gave up on me. He gently taught me to see myself through His eyes instead of the world's.

Thank you so much for this beautiful, detailed, and very honest response. It was heart-wrenching to read, and I am so sorry you have gone through all of this!

But what an inspiring journey describing how God has helped you come to a place of self-acceptance. I hope others will read this and feel moved to do the same.

I can relate to much of what you say. I grew up thinking thinner meant fitting in, so I can very much relate to wanting to starve yourself down to nothing. I just wasn't very good at it.

I am also appalled at what I see some people go through due to cultural "norms." While I was adopted and raised here (in the USA,) I've known native Asian women and when they return home, their friends and family ask them "why they've gotten so fat" -- and they're an American size 0.

I'm sure you can relate to this as well, when all the ads and media featured tall, thin, and almost exclusively white models. Because of this, I had really liked the contrast in some recent years when we got to see a few campaigns (like Dove soap) promoting models of different races, sizes, and conditions. I saw a picture on the Victoria's Secret site a while back and was amazed that she had what looked like an appendix scar very much like my own! I thought it was wonderful. A real human being, who had been through real life.

I'm sure you also remember the Kate Moss "heroin chic" movement of the 90's -- I'm very dismayed to see that this look is being promoted once again, partially due to the popularity of GLP-1 weight loss drugs. I just listened to a report today saying that in some people, it's producing another form of anorexia. People get used to seeing themselves losing weight, and insist on continuing long past their goal, because they never see themselves as thin enough.

I loved that part in your post where you talk about feeling your happiest and most confident now. And I adored it when you said the silver strands in your hair resemble moonlight! I'm going to have to remember that one for myself!

I am hoping and praying that maybe women like yourself and others in our age bracket can help spare some of these younger women coming up from the self-destructive cycles so many of us we fell into (and still fight.)

Disturbingly, it seems there's just as much pressure for the men. I've read several articles about the rise of dieting culture, steroids, and plastic surgery among guys, and the havoc it's wreaking on their bodies.

Thank you, @SoulFaith, for taking the time to write out one of the most beautiful and moving pieces I have ever read regarding this subject, most especially from the Christian perspective. They should pass your story out at eating disorder meetings and clinics as proof that in God, there is hope -- and healing.

Your beauty shines through loud and clear on these pages, and I am very glad you are here.

Again, I'm so sorry for all these things you've been put through due to size or shape, but goodness, I can tell you, you gave me a full heart this morning by sharing your story.

Thank you again and I hope to read much more from you!

 

[SoulFaith]

Thank you so much for this beautiful, detailed, and very honest response. It was heart-wrenching to read, and I am so sorry you have gone through all of this!

But what an inspiring journey describing how God has helped you come to a place of self-acceptance. I hope others will read this and feel moved to do the same.

I can relate to much of what you say. I grew up thinking thinner meant fitting in, so I can very much relate to wanting to starve yourself down to nothing. I just wasn't very good at it.

I am also appalled at what I see some people go through due to cultural "norms." While I was adopted and raised here (in the USA,) I've known native Asian women and when they return home, their friends and family ask them "why they've gotten so fat" -- and they're an American size 0.

I'm sure you can relate to this as well, when all the ads and media featured tall, thin, and almost exclusively white models. Because of this, I had really liked the contrast in some recent years when we got to see a few campaigns (like Dove soap) promoting models of different races, sizes, and conditions. I saw a picture on the Victoria's Secret site a while back and was amazed that she had what looked like an appendix scar very much like my own! I thought it was wonderful. A real human being, who had been through real life.

I'm sure you also remember the Kate Moss "heroin chic" movement of the 90's -- I'm very dismayed to see that this look is being promoted once again, partially due to the popularity of GLP-1 weight loss drugs. I just listened to a report today saying that in some people, it's producing another form of anorexia. People get used to seeing themselves losing weight, and insist on continuing long past their goal, because they never see themselves as thin enough.

I loved that part in your post where you talk about feeling your happiest and most confident now. And I adored it when you said the silver strands in your hair resemble moonlight! I'm going to have to remember that one for myself!

I am hoping and praying that maybe women like yourself and others in our age bracket can help spare some of these younger women coming up from the self-destructive cycles so many of us we fell into (and still fight.)

Disturbingly, it seems there's just as much pressure for the men. I've read several articles about the rise of dieting culture, steroids, and plastic surgery among guys, and the havoc it's wreaking on their bodies.

Thank you, @SoulFaith, for taking the time to write out one of the most beautiful and moving pieces I have ever read regarding this subject, most especially from the Christian perspective. They should pass your story out at eating disorder meetings and clinics as proof that in God, there is hope -- and healing.

Your beauty shines through loud and clear on these pages, and I am very glad you are here.

Again, I'm so sorry for all these things you've been put through due to size or shape, but goodness, I can tell you, you gave me a full heart this morning by sharing your story.

Thank you again and I hope to read much more from you!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words truly touched me and I honestly don't know what to say except thank you.

For many years, I was ashamed of my story. But God has gently shown me that He doesn't waste our pain. He can use even our deepest wounds to bring hope, healing and encouragement to others.
Knowing that my story encouraged you means more to me than I can express. Thank you for your kindness, your prayers and for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and compassionate reply.

May God richly bless you and may He continue to use your words and your own story to bring hope and encouragement to many others.

 

[seoulsearch]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words truly touched me and I honestly don't know what to say except thank you.

For many years, I was ashamed of my story. But God has gently shown me that He doesn't waste our pain. He can use even our deepest wounds to bring hope, healing and encouragement to others.
Knowing that my story encouraged you means more to me than I can express. Thank you for your kindness, your prayers and for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and compassionate reply.

May God richly bless you and may He continue to use your words and your own story to bring hope and encouragement to many others.

Absolutely.

I'm hoping that other women (and men) will read your story and feel as inspired to let God teach us how to love ourselves as I did! And most especially, the ones who are trapped within the cycle of body dysmorphia themselves...

Please don't ever feel ashamed. You have an invaluable testimony to bring hope to others!!

You are most certainly welcome for the reply, and thank you again.

 

[passion84god]

My relationship with my body has changed many times throughout my life.
As a teenager, I was much curvier than the other girls my age and I was bullied at school for two years because of it. During my final year of middle school, I finally reached the point where I thought, "One day I'll show them." The final blow came when my father made what he intended as a joke about my appearance. It broke my heart.

That summer I lost more than half of my body weight and developed an eating disorder. When I started high school, even my friends didn't recognize me at first. They thought I was a new student. The bullying stopped and everyone became quiet. Because I had spent the whole summer exercising, I suddenly became the best in my class at endurance sports. My PE teacher could hardly believe it. The girl who had always been last had become the first.

Looking back at photos now, I don't see a beautiful, successful young woman. I see a painfully thin, sad girl desperately trying to be perfect so that she would finally be accepted.

Later in life, my father wanted me to marry young and chose a husband who was nothing like me. I accepted it because I believed that was the right thing to do.

Then came years of pregnancies. Almost every year or every other year. My body changed constantly and so did my weight. My closet was always full of clothes that were either too big or too small. My husband wanted me to dress so I wouldn't attract attention. No bright colors. Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I never felt beautiful or loved in his eyes. I was always "too fat" or somehow not enough and I heard hurtful jokes about my appearance far too often.

In my thirties, when my marriage was falling apart, I developed another eating disorder after dieting got out of control. I dyed my hair, wore heavy makeup like a mask, completely changed my style and tried to become someone else. Then came the age crisis and I became incredibly hard on myself.

For years I held on to old clothes, hoping one day I'd fit into them again. Around the age of forty, I finally donated most of them. I remember looking at tiny skirts and low-rise jeans and wondering how I had ever worn them. Instead, I chose clothes that felt comfortable, beautiful and true to who I was.
One of my coworkers also said something that stayed with me:"Stop being so hard on yourself. You're an amazing woman. If your jeans are too tight, go buy a bigger pair, smile and enjoy your life."
Those simple words carried more wisdom than I realized at the time.

Now, as I approach fifty, I honestly feel happier and more beautiful than ever before. I'm finally comfortable being exactly who I am. My skin has aged well and I no longer feel the need to hide behind makeup. My black hair now has beautiful silver strands that remind me of moonlight and instead of fighting them, I've learned to appreciate them.

One of the hardest truths I've had to accept is that I will never again have the body I had at 18, 30 or even 40 and that's okay. Every season of life leaves its own marks. Today, I see those changes not as something to hide, but as reminders of a life that has been lived and of God's faithfulness through every season.

God patiently taught me that my value has never depended on my weight, my clothes or anyone else's opinion of me. My worth comes from Him alone. I am loved because I am His. Not because I look perfect.

It took me many years to understand what truly matters in life, but I am deeply grateful that God never gave up on me. He gently taught me to see myself through His eyes instead of the world's.

I am sorry that you had to endure all of that, but happy that you now see yourself as God sees you.

 

[Lanolin]

Having to go to the dentist
Some people are incredibly lucky, nothing is ever wrong with their teeth, and they don't need to go to the dentist.

Me, I have to go every four months, forget to floss, But DO brush twice a day, and still face enormous and painful dentist bills and I have to have a root canal - so my dentist tells me or lose a tooth.

I asked him what happens if I don't? He says if I don't, I will have a heart attack and die.

ARRRGH!!