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passion84god
Guest
I couldn't agree more, and I'm not outwardly ugly, btw.
Can a Christian marry someone they are not physically attracted to if they are spiritually compatible?
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1. Commitment serving at local church.
2. Offering to God as Able did, Abraham did, Jacob did....
3. Enjoy outdoor activities, hiking walking....
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passion84god
Guest
If more people found their examples or counsel from the Bible, this would be a much different world.
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passion84god
Guest
Did you just mean 1, 2, 3 requirements or 123 requirements? I might have misunderstood, and I am sorry if I did.
I think it also must come with the lesson that Leah was also never loved as a wife.
Rachel would always remain the favorite, and Leah was just the extra their father had tricked him into marrying.
When Jacob went to meet Esau for the first time after their falling out, he put Leah's maidservant with the sons she had given him, then Leah and her sons behind them -- because they were seen as being the first to be expendable if things went bad. Can you imagine how that must have felt?
When going into battle, how would anyone feel if they were put in the front of the line -- because they were seen as being the least important if killed off?
I always felt terribly sad for Leah. She tried so hard to win Jacob's love by having an entire sports team worth of sons, but it never won his heart.
Leah accomplished great things through her sons, but her husband never loved her.
Marrying does not guarantee love.
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passion84god
Guest
Let's continue the story a bit. Judah gave two of his sons to his daughter-in-law, Tamar, and they both died. He then deceitfully promised his son, Shelah, to Tamar when he was grown. Of course, that promise was never fulfilled, and Tamar dressed as a harlot, whom Judah turned in unto, and Pharez was born, from whom Christ descended in the flesh. God wanted Jesus to come from the line of Judah, but it took some finagling to get it done because of Judah's unwillingness to give his son to Tamar.
I mentioned Ruth earlier. Here is the blessing she received:
Ruth 4:12
And let thy house be like the house of Pharez, whom Tamar bare unto Judah, of the seed which the LORD shall give thee of this young woman.I mentioned Ruth earlier. Here is the blessing she received:
Ruth 4:12
To be loved, and to love
For 50+ ladies, it is easier if we accept an older Christian guy. But again, I don't want it to be a charity. I want passionate romance.
If not, nothing wrong with single life.
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passion84god
Guest
You are so right in everything you said, but do you recognize the distinction between God's desire and man's desire? God desired for Christ to come through the line of Judah, who Leah bare unto Jacob, even though Jacob didn't love her. This tells me that there was something terribly wrong with Jacob or that his will and God's will were definitely not aligned at that time.
I agree with this. I was in a LTR with someone who was not attracted to me. It definitely wore on me. The thought is always in the back of the mind, knowing that they don't find you attractive. I think it's better to be alone.
I understand that no matter how many bad choices people make, God still works out His will through them.
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passion84god
Guest
I don't mean this in a flirtatious way, but you look fine to me. Besides, turning to God's word, this is what should be important:
1 Peter 3
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Again, man looks at the outward, but God looks at the heart. What is of great price or worth in God's sight is a meek and quiet spirit, and not any type of outward adornment. With things like these in mind, is it any wonder that divorce rates are so high?
1 Peter 3
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Again, man looks at the outward, but God looks at the heart. What is of great price or worth in God's sight is a meek and quiet spirit, and not any type of outward adornment. With things like these in mind, is it any wonder that divorce rates are so high?
the point is, happiness is less important than Holiness. Also don't idolize happy marriage, as id marriage must be happy, especially for married people.
For singles, we can pursue a happy marriage, but still don't idolize it.
Short answer? No.
If you are spiritually compatible,you are attracted physically as well. Because the spirit gives life to the flesh.
Of course they can.
Is it recommended by the Bible or wisdom in general?
I don't think it is wise. However, keep in mind that beauty fades and there should be other reasons to marry besides physical attraction.
I considered the age gap of a woman who was limited on when she could provide us children. She was very lovely supermodel quality without makeup, slender as any world ideal. In fact I had to find out if she had an eating disorder or not. Her long natural hair had to be swept aside so she wouldn't sit on it. We attended the same church and had much in common. She accepted my proposal and wore my engagement ring. I established boundaries and made the decision to not commit fornication because the Lord knows what is best for establishing strong marriages for life.
Here's the change, she lost her natural beauty overnight. Her demeanor and face underwent a metamorphosis that could not be explained by hormonal or physical means. A friend and his wife even noticed and was taken back by the transformation. She was no longer pretty, but I had much more than that to assure me that we would still marry ASAP.
Lastly, I learned that she decided to ruin her future by sinning with other men while I worked hard to establish our future, home, and everything for her marriage career. That admission coincided with her sudden transformation from story book princess to a wicked witch who was uglier than sin.
I have reasons to believe that she was cursed for what she stole from me and the many sins that destroyed any hope of a future together.
One of many morals to a much longer story.....
Looks aren't the most important thing, but there should be some degree of attraction. This importance may vary for widows and the aged who wish to marry.
There should be commonality of virtues, morals, religion and those traits that are important to each. It goes both ways.
Most of all, marriage is important enough to fast and pray about. God should be first to both husband and wife.
The ideal marriage would be that which tends to the things of the Lord without distraction.
2 Corinthians 7:29 KJV
The entire chapter is specifically the study of this topic.
Likewise, relationships take a lot of work to maintain. It doesn't happen on it's own.
As long as people are aware that passion looks different at 50+ than it does at 18.To be loved, and to love
For 50+ ladies, it is easier if we accept an older Christian guy. But again, I don't want it to be a charity. I want passionate romance.
If not, nothing wrong with single life.
As Erma Bombeck once said, sometimes "I love you" is not three words. Sometimes it is six. "Honey I filled your gas tank."
Jacob he loved Rachel
And Rachel she loved him
And Leah was just there for dramatic effect
Well it's right there in the Bible
So it must not be a sin
But it sure does seem like an awful dirty trick
And her sky is just a petal
Pressed in a book of a memory
Of the time he thought he loved her and they kissed
- Rich Mullins
I always tell the story of a teacher I had in Lutheran grade school.
I was just a kid, so I don't know all the details -- all I know is that it was said that this particular teacher (a man) had a best friend (a woman) in Lutheran school college, and they had agreed that if they reached a certain age and hadn't married, they would marry each other.
After all, they both had the same strong foundational faith in God, and were best friends -- that's all that's needed, right?
I think the marriage lasted less than 2 years, maybe less than that.
My former teacher seemed to think he was a good-looking guy -- the kids would whisper about how his pants and shirts were always a bit too tight in order to "show off" -- and his female best friend/wife for a short time... Well, if we're being honest here, she was rather plain and tomboyish.
It was said that once they married and started actually living together, they discovered all kinds of quirks they couldn't tolerate in each other.
But I wouldn't be surprised if another reason was that (just my own speculation,) he didn't find her very attractive either.
Considering what you say about him... Maybe SHE didn't find HIM as attractive as she thought she would.
I mean, I can only speak for my gender's side, but... If my girl was intentionally dressing to show off to other guys, I'd be a bit >.> about it. Maybe her eyes got tired of looking sideways at him after two years or so.
