You don't understand. He never wants to go to church and I feel like I'm making him go every sunday. He'd rather watch tv and send the kids to bed than read the Bible with them, even before bed. I do not want relationship advice, I already know what I have to do to forgive the suffering he's put me through, and I do pray for him, all the time. He is argumentative and is always starting fights and in some ways he is manipulative and tries to say I am starting them. I found Jesus, he has not. All i want is for him to find Jesus so that he can understand that what he has done and continue's to do is ruining our family. All i want is a husband that is faithful to the Lord, because then we wouldn't be going through these issues right now! At least not this bad. He doesn't even try, even when he knows how the Lord wants him to be, he doesn't even try. It is ruining my life. It's easy to say "no one can keep you from Jesus, but that is a lie! There are bad people all around that try to keep you from Jesus, i just happen to be married to one. He certainly isn't bringing his family to God! He certainly isn't doing right by the Lord! So, what is the opposite of that? evil. he is hurting our family, our kids, and he doesn't even see it. I did not write this because I am some 20 year old wondering why my husband is a jerk. I wrote this because my being saved and his not being saved is ruining my life in many ways. It's easy to say "read the bible instead of argue with him" but if i picked up my bible instead of responded to him he would get very angry at me. You don't even understand the pain this causes me, every day it's worse and worse. I just wish he was a man of God. I don't know how long I am supposed to hold out on him. The devil's anger shows in him daily and he just doesn't even care. Our 3 kids are getting old enough to see things and I am truely heartbroken over it all. I wish i had a husband who prayed, instead I pray at the dinner table and with the kids, he doesn't. I wish i had a husband who prayed with me or who wanted to read the bible with me. But he'd rather watch violent or stupid movies. I am hurting and i'm sorry if my initial post sounded a certain way to where people wanted to judge me, i truely just need help!
Hi Mishlf, I want you to know I understand exactly what you speak to here.
My husband claimed to be a christian when we married, but in time, I soon learned that it was more a habit, than his commitment to Jesus.
Yes, most of what your husband is doing is and will look evil, mostly because your husband does not have a clue, he cannot be judged, as he does not know Jesus.
I want you to understand this so by what I went through, this witness may spare you both alot of suffering and pain.
And yes, I did know the terrible things an unbelieving husband will do, so much so that I like you said he was destroting my faith, our family and the worst, our children.
You need to fully give Him to Jesus, Im sure you have done this, I did many times as well, so I know what you would like to say to me right now.
But this is so important.
First, always keep in mind he is not to be judged, I speak to this because my judgement of my husbands actions, and my reaction to him brought alot of bitterness in him and my heart as well, simply because he did not see who and what it is to have Jesus in ones heart.
He saw all as my not giving him the attention and love he needed, even jealous of the time I gave to Jesus.
I became more angry and bitter each day, simply because I saw only what he was doing to our children, my walk, and our marriage.
This is a fruitless way to be and will bring no faith, salvation and healing.
Later, when we spoke to this time, he felt I was the one being cruel, like I said, he could not see because He did not know Jesus.
I could get into alot of details, but they really do not matter, what matters is how to bring healing in your heart, and salvation to your husbands.
You have to releace your husband compleatly to Jesus, I mean compleatly, knowing that anything that comes, wether he recieves Jesus or not, its not about you, its about your husband and Jesus.
Then, again forgive your husband, sealing Him unto Jesus and Gods work in his life.
Then, commit to your husband as called to in scripture, I know you will want to find scripture that says you can ignore him, or how you are justified, there is none, believe me I looked.
I found only scripture that spoke to being faithful, submitting, loving, and how your faithfulness may just save your husband.
Not because you save him, but because whan you love your husband as called to in scripture, the witness of your actions of love speak to the love of Jesus, and bring Jesus's power into your marraige.
It helps if you ask Jesus to give you His love for your husband, I know it was what brought me through and gave me the love and streangth to do what is asked in Jesus.
I then prayed for my husband withthe love and compassion given by Jesus, and prayed as well that I would one day see Jesus's love in his eyes, and that I would see this love for me in my husband as well.
I know every part of you is screaming at me saying you dont understand, Ive done this, it wont help, and so on. I said the same myself.
But what Jesus showed me was how could I ask for a Goddly husband, if I was not a Goddly wife.
A Goddly wife according to scriptures, read them again, I did many times myself.
I cannot garrentee your husband will accept Jesus.
But scripture does garrentee your husband is blessed by your love and faith in Jesus, your children as well.
Now I will tell you what happened.
It didnt happen over night, but as I in Jesus forgave and worked to love my husband as called to in Jesus, my husbands heart began to soften, and in time, he started to read the bible and talk a friend who was an elder in a good chruch.
He called on Jesus, and has looked to Him since.
He has apoligised for all the terrible things he did, asking forgivness, sayiong he was foolish, not seeing the damage he was doing.
This was several years ago, and he seeks Jesus everyday, looking to what He is called to in Jesus.
And I have seen and continue to see the love of Jesus increase each day in his eyes, not just for Jesus, but a growing respect and desire to cherish me as well.
Im so greatfull that Jesus showed me how it was not about my husbands lack of faith, but my lack of loving him as a Goddly wife.
That Jesus gave me the love for my husband , that I struggled to, because of his actions.
That my judgement of my husband was wrong, and that I was the one trully judged wrong.
That I had to release my husband to Jesus, in everyway, trusting all to Jesus.
Because of Jesus's love for both my husband and I, we finally came to know, and continue to know the love God desires for us, and the Goddly love in His eyes I wanted so much.
Because I obeyed, and learned to love my husband as a Goddly wife, looking to Jesus for all needed to love him this way.
We reciently celibrated 30 years married, and since He recieved Jesus, all is better than when we first fell in love, it is trully becoming the perfect in Jesus.
I know all said seems impossible, but with Jesus, nothing is impossible.
I hope you will in Jesus, seek all witnessed to here, so that you and your husband may be spared the pain we caused each other.
You, your husband and your children are in my daily prayers in Jesus, also, that you will see as well, the Goddly love in your husband's eyes for you.
Huge hugs and God bless.
pickles
