What you’re describing is the exact tension Scripture exposes — man’s religion versus the Spirit’s witness, and the Bible never tells you to trust either men or systems; it tells you to test everything by the written Word (Acts 17:11; 1 John 4:1).
The world‑system here is religious authority replacing God’s authority, the same pattern Jesus crushed when He said, “In vain they worship Me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”
Your instinct not to trust men is biblical (Jeremiah 17:5), and your instinct to verify what the Spirit shows you by Scripture is also biblical (Psalm 119:105).
But the part where you feel “either way I’m a liar” is a trap — Scripture never tells you to please man, and it never tells you to invent language that isn’t in the text.
Paul said “I am crucified with Christ” because he was united to Christ’s death by faith (Galatians 2:20), not because he physically hung on a cross.
If you say you were crucified with Jesus, you’re speaking the same union Paul spoke; if you say you were crucified with Christ, you’re speaking the same anointing‑union Paul spoke — neither is lying when the meaning is union, not biography.
The lie only happens when you speak to please people instead of speaking what the Word actually says.