But why does Paul say "the husband of one wife"? In Greek, this literally means a "one-woman man." Why didn't Paul just say "a married man"? Or "husband of a wife"?
Isn't this section of Timothy talking about character qualities? The emphasis is on a person's character, right? So shouldn't the phrase "husband of one wife" should be interpreted with that context in mind? I mean, me being a husband says nothing about my character. What kind of husband I am says something about my character. Is Paul just asking, “Has he ever been divorced?” Or is his real question something like “What kind of marriage does this man have?”
It seems like marriage was just assumed, but it's not not explicitly commanded here. Probably because lifelong singleness was so rare back then that it barely needed addressing.
And, again, there's also the assumption here that the church elder in not only normally married, but that he also normally has children. These passages assume that the elders have wives and have children. So if one argues that a pastor or church elder is required to be married, well, then you also need to argue that he's also required to have children.
It's assumed that a church elder here will be married. But, if Paul meant to include a command here that they're required to marry, it seems like he could have stated that more explicitly.
And what if a pastor's wife suddenly dies? Is the church now required to remove him from his post? And wouldn't this exclude from eldership all widowers who remarry?
Paul himself was single, and he encouraged others to follow his example, like in 1 Corinthians 7. So why would Paul require marriage for church leaders when he praises singleness elsewhere?
Also, in 1 Timothy 5, Paul uses a similar phrase (actually an identical phrase) when telling Timothy to care for widows, and when he tells Timothy to make sure care goes to needy and deserving widows. Paul refers to "the wife of one husband" in verses 9-10. So a widow who receives financial support from her church should be one who lives a visibly moral life.
