Would you say, guys, you are just plain afraid of asking a girl out? Why?

[GreenNnice]

Why are you afraid to ask a girl out?

I am not taking the spiritual out of it, I know, the Lord leads, but what IF that is maybe a cop-out. Maybe the Lord has out some girl in your path and opportunity is knocking like Congress insider trading temptation (sorry, bad example, I shoukdn't have said that. Liam's on here almost, I can year his breathing occupying my neck ) .

But, yeah, my being politically correct there , because I saw 60 minutes last Sunday, why do you feel like you just can't ask that girl out that's clamoring all over you like a bad Snacker's hair-doo?

Hey, I am 43, and, of course , I've gotten yellow and suddenly sprouted feathers, even a 'bawk' , 'bawk,' yeard from a distsance surely.

And, you have had some brave moments in past asking a girl out, like prom , maybe, or some homecoming or college dance.

So WHAT is stopping you now, chicken?

Chicken?

 

[Oncefallen]

Some of us are just too dense to notice the girl who is mildly showing interest (raises hand). For myself if a woman is literally clamoring all over me I tend to run the other way, I've learned it is a sign of extreme neediness that needs to be healed outside of a relationship. I think for many of us guys we emotionally relate a rejection of our advance as a rejection of us personally, thus the fear of asking someone out.

 

[GreenNnice]

Some of us are just too dense to notice the girl who is mildly showing interest (raises hand). For myself if a woman is literally clamoring all over me I tend to run the other way, I've learned it is a sign of extreme neediness that needs to be healed outside of a relationship. I think for many of us guys we emotionally relate a rejection of our advance as a rejection of us personally, thus the fear of asking someone out.

+------+
Right, oncefell, I agree, I don't do well to clamoring by a girl, but, truthfully, I didn't really mean it like that even though I said it like that. C'mon, Green brain, work with me

So , yes, I mean , how do you guys handle a girl showing a perfect interest in you. By that I mean....

1. She doesn't clamor on you, au contraire, she is ladylike yet acting standoffish, simply answering your simple questions with answers YOU perceive as g-rrrreat. I mean, inside you are ready to shout Tony The Tiger's famous word at her, in addition to a second-person pronoun in front of that adjective.

You're g-rrrrreat !

You, girl, are just the kind of sassy, sweet intelligent--and, guys, make sure you get that she likes God's ways (I would, anyway)--girl I want to ask out.

Alas, you say the ABOVE exclamation....all in your head, guys, NOT to her And so, it's like that movie with 10-year-old, Peter Billingsley in 1983 movie hit, 'A Christmas Story': Santa's asked you what you want for Christmas and you're afraid Santa will tell you 'You'll shoot your eye out, kid,' when you say you want a Red Ryder double-pump action bb gun so you tell Santa, sitting on his lap, at the top of a slide, 'I want a fire truck.' So then, seconds later, it's your turn to go down the slide...

And, you are muddled in your mind with what you really have to say STUCK inside that brain of yours (green brain, if it beeth my brain we speaketh of ) . So as you go to go down the slide you turn around and say, grasping the slide rails, prostrate, staring at Santa and exclaiming, 'I don't really want a fire truck. Santa. I want a Red Ryder double-pump-action bb gun.'

Then, you are HAPPY. GLeee inside of you like when Clarice, the girl reindeer kisses Rudolph, and, Rudolph flutters all about. I said it! , You say to youself. And, next thing you hear is Santa, as he moves a big, shiny black boot your way, gently shoving you down the slide with the heel of his shoe as he says, 'You'll shoot your eye out, kid.'.

Yes, you feel rejected but yoy got it out. You told her finally in the end what was stuck inside thateth brain of yours: You're a great, girl, I'd like to show you something, come with me (for example, you are in a público library together), and, you ensue to show her a book based on what you just casually had talked with this girl you just met HERE.

ALAS! You say at night in a prayer : Thank you, God, for having let me meet this girl.

Oh, wait, my bad, sorry, guys, but remember , WE were AFRAID to ask her out as she flirted subtly with us , sitting across from us in the library chair of a computer room.

Great, thanks, Green, my hopes were so getting built up.

Why

 

[KnightdeKhristos]

Afraid of rejection.
Also, we guys aren't very good at noticing when women are interested in us (at least I'm not)

 

[asd101]

I notice that when a girl likes me, she always flips her hair back with her hand or plays with her hair... hmmm... i dont know... but about asking a girl out.... yea i've felt that feeling of nervousness... But guys I have to say play it cool, be yourself, so what if she rejects? It's one girl, big deal!!!

 

[Jullianna]

If you think it's frustrating having to be the one to ASK, try being the one who has to figure out a way to GET you to ask.

 

[error]

hahaha jullianna

 

[asd101]

If you think it's frustrating having to be the one to ASK, try being the one who has to figure out a way to GET you to ask.

Like said, most of us dont know the signs... but, yea...girls do ask guys out... ive experienced first hand... ...

 

[Jullianna]

Some of us are just too dense to notice the girl who is mildly showing interest (raises hand). For myself if a woman is literally clamoring all over me I tend to run the other way, I've learned it is a sign of extreme neediness that needs to be healed outside of a relationship. I think for many of us guys we emotionally relate a rejection of our advance as a rejection of us personally, thus the fear of asking someone out.

This is why most women won't do the asking. It makes them appear needy or aggressive.

 

[Liamson]

I know that a key component of wanting to be in a relationship is seeing the potential for depth. If I am attracted to a woman physically and she only wants to engage in small talk, that equates to really only wanting a shallow relationship or an acquaintanceship.

If we can constructively talk about the things that move us and that really matter in life and in God, then I feel compelled to move into a deeper relationship. Even people that are friends of mine, that I have connected with on this level, will always be my friends. I used to believe that all people were capable of understanding and searching out the mysteries of life but, I have learned that I cannot teach someone to be curious or to want to change their perspective for the sake of gaining more understanding.

Yeah, I can talk about sports and movies and food and cars but, at the end of the conversation I will still want to discuss something deeper. I want to be moved and inspired to grow. I want to be able to push and inspire someone else to grow too.

I want to be able to give someone all of my heart and for that to be considered something of value to them. I want this not because of what I have done or what kind of a person I am but, because they understand me and value what they see in that understanding.

Given everything that goes into asking someone out, first I must hear what they say when they speak and what they appeal to when they attribute value to something. An example would be a status symbol. In my experience value is not a dollar amount. A woman who values something she obtained from a child on a missions trip as being of more value than a bracelet from Tiffany's, will have a greater appreciation for my perspective on what is valuable.

 

[GreenNnice]

I know that a key component of wanting to be in a relationship is seeing the potential for depth. If I am attracted to a woman physically and she only wants to engage in small talk, that equates to really only wanting a shallow relationship or an acquaintanceship.

If we can constructively talk about the things that move us and that really matter in life and in God, then I feel compelled to move into a deeper relationship. Even people that are friends of mine, that I have connected with on this level, will always be my friends. I used to believe that all people were capable of understanding and searching out the mysteries of life but, I have learned that I cannot teach someone to be curious or to want to change their perspective for the sake of gaining more understanding.

Yeah, I can talk about sports and movies and food and cars but, at the end of the conversation I will still want to discuss something deeper. I want to be moved and inspired to grow. I want to be able to push and inspire someone else to grow too.

I want to be able to give someone all of my heart and for that to be considered something of value to them. I want this not because of what I have done or what kind of a person I am but, because they understand me and value what they see in that understanding.

Given everything that goes into asking someone out, first I must hear what they say when they speak and what they appeal to when they attribute value to something. An example would be a status symbol. In my experience value is not a dollar amount. A woman who values something she obtained from a child on a missions trip as being of more value than a bracelet from Tiffany's, will have a greater appreciation for my perspective on what is valuable.

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Liam, right on.

Guys could be not so AFRAID of asking a girl out as the girl might think. She just has not piqued his interest. The girl has not asked , or answered questions, that serve to show the guy her perfect interest in him.

Makes sense.

Yes, too, personally, I will not--I don't think, anyway, the Lord leads--be inclined to go after a girl with expensive jewelry because that shows me she needs too much materialism. And, that's not to say a girl cannot wear expensive jewelry and dress because some Christian guys will be on a different path than others and will need that kind of material girl--as the Lord leads-- to improve their life in the future.

But, Yeah, good stuff, guys, and, yes, julieannie, getting guys to ask is a God-given thing. And, that said, I think you all female types need to go to God during the time the guy is solidly questioning you, and, ask God exactly how he wants you to respond and decide if guy is being real, or, a creep, or, worse. And, that intuition for you to get a guy to ASK you out, I think, should be based solely on a ongoing convo with the Holy Spirit inside you . . Inside us, too.

So, that all said, GUYS, go with God and don't worry about the rejection pain, that truly does gird us all males, some of us more than others. But I know it is tough to know signs, asd, that fear , Knights, and, that attack of self 'R' word does to us guys. But...

Do you really want to be able to be like Jesus, guys? Do we really?

Jesus, you remember, was out out on balcony in Rome and faced what was the ultimate pain, for man, and, woman (girls get hurt, too when rejected by OUR NON-ACTION after they put their heart out on the table in a casual meeting)

Let's finish with scripture,k?


Luke, Matthew, Mark, John, all the four gospels, speak of Jesus vía Roman ruler, Pilate, of Jesus being a just (not guilty of any crime) man . And Barrabus, whom the Jews crowd KNOWS is a murderer, is on the chopping block for crucifiction.

And what happened ?

And they all cried out at once, saying, 'Away with this Man, and, release to us Barrabus who had been thrown into prison for a certain rebellion made in the city, and, for murder.

Luke 23:18-19

.
.
That's enough isn't it, guys, that's enough to make your eyes water isn't it. Enough.
Not quité... Verse 20 then has Pilate pleading with the people to let the just man be released, to let Jesus go. Then verse 21: But they (the crowd, whom Jesus did many miracles all for, whom Jesus free to adore) shouted: ' Crucify Him, crucify....'

Enough, Green! Take us OUT of this ultimate rejection!! I get it. I don't need to be so AFRAID , and if I don't be AFRAID and JUST ask that girl out though VERY AFRAID of what she could've say I just need to do it, for this rejection brings us just a little closer to what my Lord and Savior, Jesus, felt from the people that WERE his friends and , in mass, turned on Him.

Yes, guys, we do.

 

[Snackersmom]

Why do you feel like you just can't ask that girl out that's clamoring all over you like a bad Snacker's hair-doo?

Sorry to derail your thread, Mr. Green, but if the 'do is a bad one, then wouldn't you call it a "hair-don't"?

Okay, back on track. I agree with Liamson. From a female perspective, I would have a hard time accepting an invitation from someone who hadn't bothered to at least have a conversation with me, it would make me question his motives. If I can't share my heart with him, why would I want to share dinner with him? Spiritual attraction is very important, and not always immediately apparent. I would be very reluctant to date anyone who gives the impression that they ask out half the girls they meet.

 

[GreenNnice]

Sorry to derail your thread, Mr. Green, but if the 'do is a bad one, then wouldn't you call it a "hair-don't"?

Okay, back on track. I agree with Liamson. From a female perspective, I would have a hard time accepting an invitation from someone who hadn't bothered to at least have a conversation with me, it would make me question his motives. If I can't share my heart with him, why would I want to share dinner with him? Spiritual attraction is very important, and not always immediately apparent. I would be very reluctant to date anyone who gives the impression that they ask out half the girls they meet.

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LOL, snackersmommy. I was sorry, too, if I hurt ole snackers feelings but the new doo you said you were thinking of doing I don't think would be a bad idea at all, or, that salvia purple sage I show you in another thread. Tell Snackers. Green means no harm , he just expressing his opinion, which is being real, which is nice
----
I don' t want to derail my own thread either, so, I will just say, I agree with you, snackersmommy, and, too, liam. Yes, we must be willing to hear a girl's heart or we cannot be taken serious by her. Still, the Lord leads.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I don't date, so I don't ask.

Kinda lost interest anyway, so fear is out the window!

 

[TheAristocat]

I'm afraid to ask a girl out, because a lot of single women my age are in between the stages of crazy bi-polar young girl syndrome to crazy cat-woman lonely old woman syndrome, and so they exhibit a little of both. So I'll keep an eye out for the relatively more mellow women who aren't preoccupied with 3000 friends and working a CEO position.

 

[Snackersmom]

----
LOL, snackersmommy. I was sorry, too, if I hurt ole snackers feelings but the new doo you said you were thinking of doing I don't think would be a bad idea at all, or, that salvia purple sage I show you in another thread. Tell Snackers. Green means no harm , he just expressing his opinion, which is being real, which is nice
----
I don' t want to derail my own thread either, so, I will just say, I agree with you, snackersmommy, and, too, liam. Yes, we must be willing to hear a girl's heart or we cannot be taken serious by her. Still, the Lord leads.

No problem, Mr. Green, just messin' with ya . And, don't worry, Snackers wasn't offended. You couldn't hurt that kid's feelings with a two-by-four . However, I will take note of his need for a new 'do .

And, yes, I agree with you as well, Mr. Green, the Lord's leading is very important when initiating a relationship. Things are so much more peaceful when you know that you're in His will, and His Hand is guiding you .

 

[koalabear]

Not scared at all, however, I am evasive of commitment LOL I know its bad but oh well what can I do. I just see dating as a responsibility and why cant we just be platonic friends???

 

[GreenNnice]

No problem, Mr. Green, just messin' with ya . And, don't worry, Snackers wasn't offended. You couldn't hurt that kid's feelings with a two-by-four . However, I will take note of his need for a new 'do .

And, yes, I agree with you as well, Mr. Green, the Lord's leading is very important when initiating a relationship. Things are so much more peaceful when you know that you're in His will, and His Hand is guiding you .

----
Snackersmommy, yes, indeedy, the Lord leads, and, I think in a relationship initial stage that 9 out of 10 times God would want us to listen to the things important to your hearts, probably 10 out of 10 times, but, yes, bottom line is listening to God speak to me, personally speaking, he may have a good reason for me not to listen to a girl spill her heart. Maybe she has ulterior motives, sucking me in to her web, and, God knows what I can and cannot handle . The Lord leads. I truly believe His power guiding me , through the Holy Spirit, seeing things remarkable , quité often, in fact , when I let God lead every área of my life.

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Snackersmommy, if you feel so led, maybe you think you could go over to my game I did a thread on and do a sentence saying something cool and unique about you, or, Snackers, or, even the Big Boss' recent learned something in life ? Remember, that the letters and #'s MUST correlate with each other.

 

[Snackersmom]

^^^^^Good point, Mr. Green, listening to a girl spill her heart out right after you just met might be more than most guys could handle. I didn't think of that, because I'm not the kind of girl who would do it. By "share my heart", I meant talk about Jesus and other things that are important to me, without being misunderstood . I would never spill my guts to someone I just met, the thought actually amuses me, hehehe . I'm very reserved, actually.

Regarding your other thread, I'll see what I can do. But, to be honest, I have a hard time figuring out the rules on these word-games you come up with, so I can't promise anything. Maybe Snackers can explain it to me.........

 

[Kooper]

Why are you afraid to ask a girl out?

Because, I'm not even sure if there's a girl out there for me.

I am not taking the spiritual out of it, I know, the Lord leads, but what IF that is maybe a cop-out. Maybe the Lord has out some girl in your path and opportunity is knocking like Congress insider trading temptation (sorry, bad example, I shoukdn't have said that. Liam's on here almost, I can year his breathing occupying my neck ) .

She has my permission to slap my face and say: I'm here!

But, yeah, my being politically correct there , because I saw 60 minutes last Sunday, why do you feel like you just can't ask that girl out that's clamoring all over you like a bad Snacker's hair-doo?

Because she has this history of stalking other guys... among other things. >_>

Hey, I am 43, and, of course , I've gotten yellow and suddenly sprouted feathers, even a 'bawk' , 'bawk,' yeard from a distsance surely.

I've done that. But I ninja rolled outta there before I could sqawk and show my feathers.

And, you have had some brave moments in past asking a girl out, like prom , maybe, or some homecoming or college dance.

So WHAT is stopping you now, chicken?

Chicken?

There is no God fearing girl here. It's all about ipods, money, COD Zombies, sex and getting drunk, or them being too cool for anything other for themselves... It's always something else... Just never about God.