D
djness
Guest
I don't believe anyone said they were.
Extremism in conversations these days makes it so difficult.
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Extremism in conversations these days makes it so difficult.
J
Jullianna
Guest
How are assumptions NOT dangerous, especially in christianity? (might be a whole other thread tho...nevermind
)
J
Jullianna
Guest
I think it is often more the lack of wisdom in chosing words that makes it difficult..and cruel. But that's just an opinion..
Just seems odd that this went from being a thread about single moms to promiscuity in some posts. That leap might mean something if we take a closer look.
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R
Relena7
Guest
Hi SocialArtist,
no one hear genuinely means to offend you.
The way you worded the thread simply led the majority of the people here to believe the point of this thread was to establish that you think less of single mothers, for breaking "rules" and such, without acknowledging they may have had their reasons, and want to change. Ya made it sound like you want them all to leave and stop coming to your church because they aren't childless. And invite other men to complain about them here. If I'm reading this wrong, please correct me.
You gotta remember that they are people too, real people who want to make the best of their lives with what they have.
No one says you have to date them, and frankly if you aren't going to date them, I don't see how their living status is anyone else's business to discuss.
I guess what I don't understand is why you would ask such a thing on a forum, if not wanting to complain? I am not trying to bait a debate, I am genuinely wondering what the honest motives behind this kind of post is.
How the heck do you want people to respond?
I'm not trying to make you the bad guy.
no one hear genuinely means to offend you.
The way you worded the thread simply led the majority of the people here to believe the point of this thread was to establish that you think less of single mothers, for breaking "rules" and such, without acknowledging they may have had their reasons, and want to change. Ya made it sound like you want them all to leave and stop coming to your church because they aren't childless. And invite other men to complain about them here. If I'm reading this wrong, please correct me.
You gotta remember that they are people too, real people who want to make the best of their lives with what they have.
No one says you have to date them, and frankly if you aren't going to date them, I don't see how their living status is anyone else's business to discuss.
I guess what I don't understand is why you would ask such a thing on a forum, if not wanting to complain? I am not trying to bait a debate, I am genuinely wondering what the honest motives behind this kind of post is.
How the heck do you want people to respond?I'm not trying to make you the bad guy.
N
NodMyHeadLikeYeah
Guest
Im crying hysterically he wont be looking to me for a date...
And now im LEAVING count it LEAVING this thread
J
Jullianna
Guest
R
Relena7
Guest
AMEN
I just didn't want to walk away leaving the guy to think we all hate him and to think he's not welcome to post.
J
Jullianna
Guest
James 1:26-28 New International Version (NIV) 26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Those who are fatherless, whether they were deserted by their fathers or their fathers died, are orphans nonetheless. (Perhaps the same is true when mothers desert their children as well, but the scriptures don’t address it as far as I have found) To those of you men who are willing to date single moms, I think God has special blessings ahead for you. J My dad, who already had several children of his own, married my mom and adopted me. He was AMAZING and will always be my hero. God bless you for your mercy and compassionate.
Those who are fatherless, whether they were deserted by their fathers or their fathers died, are orphans nonetheless. (Perhaps the same is true when mothers desert their children as well, but the scriptures don’t address it as far as I have found) To those of you men who are willing to date single moms, I think God has special blessings ahead for you. J My dad, who already had several children of his own, married my mom and adopted me. He was AMAZING and will always be my hero. God bless you for your mercy and compassionate.
J
Jullianna
Guest
Oh my goodness, no.
We all disagree on stuff all the time, but hate is never an option for ANY of us as believers. It would be childish to behave that way.
K
Kooper
Guest
S
SocialArtist
Guest
Hi SocialArtist,
no one hear genuinely means to offend you.
The way you worded the thread simply led the majority of the people here to believe the point of this thread was to establish that you think less of single mothers, for breaking "rules" and such, without acknowledging they may have had their reasons, and want to change. Ya made it sound like you want them all to leave and stop coming to your church because they aren't childless. And invite other men to complain about them here. If I'm reading this wrong, please correct me.
You gotta remember that they are people too, real people who want to make the best of their lives with what they have.
No one says you have to date them, and frankly if you aren't going to date them, I don't see how their living status is anyone else's business to discuss.
I guess what I don't understand is why you would ask such a thing on a forum, if not wanting to complain? I am not trying to bait a debate, I am genuinely wondering what the honest motives behind this kind of post is.
I'm not trying to make you the bad guy.
Thank you for your reply. I don't want single mothers in their 20's to leave the church, I just want more single women in their 20's to come to church so I don't have to go to bars ..
S
SocialArtist
Guest
I'm not sure...
I've never really considered it a thing. I know that women with children are never attracted to me. Probably some subconscious protective instinct that alarms them to my being hazardous to their child's health.
Objectively speaking... it takes up a lot of time and requires a lot of responsibility. Then again if a woman is single and has say 3 pets (cat,dog & bird) then that also takes up time and responsibility. In general I don't really get it.
Well.....
Aside from snuffing that guy out and moving to Mexico. I don't know how I would feel about custody issues.
J
Jullianna
Guest
Women who marry single dads also have to deal with ex-wives, child support, etc., but we don't see a lot of women creating threads about not wanting to become involved with single dads, whether they are the custodial parent or not...at least I haven't seen any.
J
Jullianna
Guest
The fact that you would consider the snuffing thing just moved you way up on the desirability scale for a few women.
It might also, however, explain why some women, as you say, might not want you around their children. 
*sits and watches*
Just for the record, I understand that some guys don't want the "headache" of someone else's kids, however I think that in this day and age they are potentially robbing themselves of great joy. For myself, I have long figured that if I expect to marry at my age, that my spouse would most likely come with kids. Honestly, I really never saw single motherhood as a deal breaker even in my younger years. My biggest concern with a future spouse isn't so much their past, since we all have one, but their current lives and who they are today.
Just for the record, I understand that some guys don't want the "headache" of someone else's kids, however I think that in this day and age they are potentially robbing themselves of great joy. For myself, I have long figured that if I expect to marry at my age, that my spouse would most likely come with kids. Honestly, I really never saw single motherhood as a deal breaker even in my younger years. My biggest concern with a future spouse isn't so much their past, since we all have one, but their current lives and who they are today.
For me personally the father, ex lover present in their life and custody issues would be the only factor in me not dating a single mother. And yes there are probably more men unwilling to date single mothers than vice versa. I do believe though, that people who call themselves Christian are indeed more promiscuous than 20 years ago and I think it's mostly due to the media, Internet and easy of access to any information as well as the more acceptable everything sexual has become in our culture - more kids rated movies with pornography, legalization of nudity in public (yes in Ontario women can go topless and in any country many of them might as well be from what they are wearing or lack thereof), sex on tv shows, sex Ed in grade 6 or lower, passing out condoms, you name it.