What if there is no light at the end of the tunnel?

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J

JuliaGoolia

Guest
#1
How do you have faith when God does not answer your prayers?

When you have a very obvious need and He hasn’t seen to meet it, for some reason, how do you avoid speculating as to the reason, questioning your worthiness, doubting His love?

How do you keep believing when you feel like it’s been forever since you’ve seen or felt God’s presence?

How do you make yourself believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel?
 
D

daughter_of_a_king_89

Guest
#2
We walk by faith not by sight...its interesting how we can even believe in a God we've never seen ...with that being said thats why so many people choose not to believe...they want sighns and miracles and want there prayers answered nowwww...we have to understand that God works on his own time not ours..and it may not always be clear but there is a reason...God always works for the good of the ones he loves...and sometimes there are some things there are not in his will...or there is a significant reason why your prayer may be talking long to be answered...but to God a day to us to him can be a million days ...dont give up faith and hope because the enemy is a lier and wants you to give up...pray and petition...God has a plan...it may not make sense now but it will...we were chosen by God...and the enemy wants nothing more then to take you away...do not doubt..just believe :)
 
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daughter_of_a_king_89

Guest
#3
p.s. if you want to feel gods presence ...go to a quiet place with no noise or distractions...and tell God your servant is listening...what do you want to tell me...hes waiting for you to invite him in...he just need you to take the time and find a place so you can meet :)
 
J

JuliaGoolia

Guest
#4
The reason I ask is, a year ago, my husband left me, after 14 years of marriage. He was not a good man. He just wanted out of our financial trouble. His feelings about me were irrelevant.

He abducted our children and told the court that I was an unfit mother, on drugs and psychotic. None of that was true. And After four weeks I managed to get them back and now have primary custody.

But since then I have struggled very hard to make ends meet. Despite my being qualified for a better job, I cannot seem to find one. Nearly every month this year, I have paid my rent late. Utilities have been paid by relatives. And I'm grateful for help. But I'm tired of living in this zone where I never know if I will have enough food for my children or if I will lose my house.

My car is now in need of repair. It seems like it's one thing after another. I pray for relief and instead, more troubles come.

I am losing the ability to trust God, because He does not seem trustworthy to me. He tells us to cry out to Him, our fears and hopes. But to what end? If He is going to do what He wants anyway, why bother telling him at all? He can see how I have been living. He needs me to tell Him that I want it to improve?

I'm just so tired of the constant trauma. I want to know it is almost over. But I am now afraid to hope. I have done so much hoping this last year that I can't bear any more disappointment.
 
D

daughter_of_a_king_89

Guest
#5
I assure you that the trials and tribulations you are going threw are important in your relationship with God and in trusting in him if you continue to trust in him you will see that he will always make a way but if you allow the devil to decieve you and take you away from God you will not see his plan for and the glory that will come you have to praise him in the storm no matter what and always be thankful and continue to believe and pray I am not in your situation nor have I been but I know that God is a faithful God and what you are going through is important in you walk in testimony but if you give up he will not be able to bless you.
 
X

xtinaz

Guest
#6
Hmmm this sounds so familiar to me. I too struggled in my relationship with God and trusting him, because I had hurt in my heart against him, I felt let down - I loved God...but I didnt trust him. And there is no breakthrough without trust.

You will never Go deeper in your relationship with God if you hold unforgiveness or offence. Im not talking just about towards other poeple, but infact with God himself. I had been through alot in my life at such a young age and when Iwas saved I fell in love with God, but my past had shaped me into a skewed perspective of what love and trust was.

I blamed God for everything that had happened, not intentionally. I naturally assumed God was in control of everything - I assumed God watched me get raped etc and didnt intervene for some reason. But I unknowingly held that hurt of God "where were you when this happened!?"

Walking by faith is not difficult at all if you know God, not know of him. If you are hurt or offended by him - like we are with poeple - we will stay in the same level not getting any further. When we dont know who we are in Christ we will alaways bounce around and miss what God has for us.

A year into my relationship with God, was alaways a battle and I though maybe this was how it was going to be for the rest of my walk. Hard, confusing, regretful, up and down...I thought God was there to help me COPE with life...but that was the worst lie I ever beleived.

If you hold blame or resent God I encourage you to lay that before him, tell him how you feel. Get it out. Get to know him - spend time with him. Adore him, when we put faith in what we see - we wont get the results we are looking for because faith is being certain in things we do not see, it wouldnt be faith anyway :) I encourage you to spend time in the secrete place get to know him, you will find satisfacion and identity. And when you combine the two your unbeatable :) God desires us to enjoy life amidst the storms, and I can testify that is so possible. When you find that belonging and identity in Christ I assure you, there will be no doubt if he is real or not, No underestimating his faithfulness, no lack of understanding...words are powerful, start speaking out what you want to see...and praise him for things you havent even received yet. He never dissapoints us, he is faithful - just not in out timing. But his timing is so perfect, you would never comprehend it :)

[SIZE=+4]Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11: 1




[/SIZE]
 
J

JuliaGoolia

Guest
#7
I think you have hit it on the head.

You see, my concept of love is also skewed. My mother was abusive and her love conditional. And although I became a Christian at 18, I'm not sure that my concept of love really changed.

During my marriage, I did 99% of the work. My ex was a selfish man who did everything conditionally. I was convinced that as long as I made up the difference, it would look as though we were working together. Problem is, that sucked me dry eventually. Long story.

But anyway, I have subconsciously come to think of God as I did my ex-husband, and perhaps my mother as well. Someone on whom I could not rely, who did what they wanted when they wanted, NOT what I actually needed, someone who dangled my desires over me like a string and derived pleasure from watching me reach out for them in vain. Someone who enjoyed having all of the control and watching my frustration grow as a result.

I feel like God is well aware of what I need, but is holding it over my head. This is not consistent with the character of God. So why do I feel this way? I feel like God could have helped me, COULD have prevented so many things and didn't and I am so angry. I am bitter that other people enjoy things like being able to go out to restaurants or buy new clothing or go to a salon, when I can barely afford food for me and my children. I feel like God must love those people more. Otherwise why would he bless them so and neglect me? Then I think, I must have done something wrong and I try to figure out what it could be.

I am tired of this emotional rollercoaster. I want to see and experience God as He was meant to be. But I don't know if that's possible at this point. After all I've suffered, I wonder...am I too jaded?
 
B

barukhmalachi

Guest
#8
I see you must like the wedding singer. Look at mathew 21:18-22. There are many things god promises us but we have to prepare our fields and sow seed then wait for rain. Then even though our crops grow, we have to go and receive the harvest. God does work in this manner. He talks a lot about sowing and reaping. We can just pray and continue to grumble about our situation until god fixes everything. Pray for discernment about a matter. We don't plant corn and receive beans. There maybe a certain seed you have to sow for the result you want. If you need someones help try sowing help to others. Preparing our field could be adjusting our attitude to positive thinking. With god all things are possible. Life gets hard sonetimes more so for children of god. It does rain on the just and unjust. But when we look good, god looks good. He wants us to prosper. Not just financially but in every area of our life. Joyce meyer teaches a lot on these subjects as well as creflo dollar. Jesus also said a lot after healing people, your faith has made you well. Things like that. Keep your faith level up and keep focus on god not the issues of life at hand. If you find a good faith scripture that speaks to you, write it on a mirror that you look at everyday and read it out loud every time you see it. Keep confessing it with your mouth and it will start to mannifest in your life. Stay encouraged
 
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JuliaGoolia

Guest
#9
I'm actually not a big fan of the movie. But my name is Julia. After it came out, people started calling me that.

I have trouble believing God wants me to prosper. I'm not asking for a miracle here. I'm asking for him to provide me with a job that I'm already qualified to do. That doesn't seem as amazing as parting a sea or resurrecting a dead person. I'm not even asking to be rich or to have underserved amenities. I'm just asking to have enough to meet my basic needs and to not live in constant fear of losing my home.

I understand what you're saying. My it doesn't match my experiences. My faith was once quite strong. It has only weakend after over a year of not having my prayer for financial security answered. Because it baffles me that this God who claims to love me, wouldn't want me to have that.

If my situation were the result of my sin, or mistakes, drug use perhaps or some bad choices I'd made, my suffering would make sense. But the majority of what I'm going through is the result of either OTHER people's sins or bad choices, or just plain randomness.

It occurred to me a while back that perhaps the lesson is that God wants me to learn to rely on Him completely. But what good is that, if I go so long without seeing an answer that I lose the ability to trust Him? How I can I rely completely on someone who I don't trust?

I feel like God doesn't care about my heart's desire. I have long since stopped having dreams about things. I no longer fantasize about whether I'll ever be able to decorate a home or take a vacation with my kids or get my hair done. Because I don't think those things will ever happen or me now and I would rather just accept that as a reality, than pretend that it's possible. Right now I would settle for the security of knowing my and my children's basic needs will be met.

I know what the Bible says and what you're saying. My life and what I've seen this year, just doesn't match up to what I've been taught.
 
G

greatblue

Guest
#10
The reason I ask is, a year ago, my husband left me, after 14 years of marriage. He was not a good man. He just wanted out of our financial trouble. His feelings about me were irrelevant.

He abducted our children and told the court that I was an unfit mother, on drugs and psychotic. None of that was true. And After four weeks I managed to get them back and now have primary custody.

But since then I have struggled very hard to make ends meet. Despite my being qualified for a better job, I cannot seem to find one. Nearly every month this year, I have paid my rent late. Utilities have been paid by relatives. And I'm grateful for help. But I'm tired of living in this zone where I never know if I will have enough food for my children or if I will lose my house.

My car is now in need of repair. It seems like it's one thing after another. I pray for relief and instead, more troubles come.

I am losing the ability to trust God, because He does not seem trustworthy to me. He tells us to cry out to Him, our fears and hopes. But to what end? If He is going to do what He wants anyway, why bother telling him at all? He can see how I have been living. He needs me to tell Him that I want it to improve?

I'm just so tired of the constant trauma. I want to know it is almost over. But I am now afraid to hope. I have done so much hoping this last year that I can't bear any more disappointment.
Julia, remember that this is one of the primary responsibilities of the church. Are you part of a church family? We exist in the body to support and nourish each other and, while God himself does reveal Himself to all in varying ways, it is simultaneously our job to shine His light through our lives. And I understand your frustration with "that zone", but it may just be that you are being weakened so that He may show you you true dependency on Him. And...I know little, but being on your knees is the only answer I know to be true.

Remember the Lord in Gethsemane...sweating blood in agony and overcome with grief while the disciples slept. Christ's perseverance is the model...so do all you can to lean on Him. If it demands more leaning, trusting, battling...then battles, trust, and lean even more.

I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#11
You talk a lot about 'God could have this' and 'should have that', but guess what. You make you bed, you lie in it. God's job is not to follow you around and stop you from making bad decisions. He will speak to you to guide you, but you have to shut up and listen and be willing to follow what He tells you, regardless of if it makes sense or not. I spent a great many years of my life feeling distant from God because i blamed Him for so many things. But now, when i honestly step back, i realize i put myself in many if not most of those situations.
When you married, did you go slow, take your time, prayerfully seek Gods guidance? You yourself seemed to indicate that you knew he wasn't a good guy before marrying him. Is it really God's fault you married someone you knew wasn't good? Is all the crap your husband put you through because God didn't do His job, or because you made your own choices and you had to live out the consequences? I see a lot of people do this. They make a bad choice, get dealt bad consequences for their bad decision, then blame God for not doing anything. Life has consequences. You can't run around doing wrong things and think its Gods responsibility to bail you out. God calls us to be wise and consider our choices prayerfully. God doesn't promise to keep us from our consequences.
Also, i hear a lot of people talking about not being able to find a job, or a better job. Everyone has this tunnel vision and seems to forget that we're in a bad time financially and that joblessness is everywhere right now. God can't create companies and jobs out of thin air to provide work. He has to utilize what is available. And really, right now, there isn't much available. Its not that God isn't answering prayers, its that the jobs are just simply not there. I remember seeing an ad placed for one cashier position at a grocery store. They gave specific times for people to come in and apply for the position. During the 20-30 minutes i was there i probably saw 30 other people applying. There was a total of 4 hours they took applications. That means a minimum of 160 people applied for one job, in one smaller town. We have a national financial crisis on our hands and so many Christians are taking the results of it personally, as God not caring or providing. But what exactly can God do if the jobs don't exist? Or what if one does open and 100 people apply, can the 99 that don't get it blame God for not providing? We live in a fallen failing world. Faith isn't saying 'ok, i trust God will make things easy'. Actually, i heard faith best as this.. 'faith makings difficult things possible, not easy'.
Lastly, be cautious of people preaching God wants us all to be rich and prosperous. Most televangelists preach this and its pure heresy. As much as we hate the idea, our growth comes from our struggles, not our happiness. I can relate though. A few years back i was diagnosed with some major health issues. For a while i was mad at God. But then, it came to light that it was likely my own actions that brought it on, but i still stayed angry at God... 'why didn't you stop me God?'. Felt God should have done something to prevent it and it was His fault. But over the past few years i've had to accept, it was my fault. My choices. My actions. And you know what, God WAS doing something, i just chose to ignore it. Did God come down in a might voice? No. Did he speak a warning to me through a prophet? No. What He did do was give me common sense. He gave me the information. He gave me the awareness i was headed towards trouble. Did i use that information and common sense to stop myself? No. He provided me with what i needed to make my own change, but i didn't take it. Thats not His fault. Just like if you marry a man you know is bad, its not God's fault. He gave you the awareness the man was bad, he gave you the common sense to stay away from bad people, but you ignored it. Its not that God hasn't been there and hasn't 'done anything', its that we ignore the things He gives us to make wise choices.
 
J

JuliaGoolia

Guest
#12
You talk a lot about 'God could have this' and 'should have that', but guess what. You make you bed, you lie in it. God's job is not to follow you around and stop you from making bad decisions. He will speak to you to guide you, but you have to shut up and listen and be willing to follow what He tells you, regardless of if it makes sense or not. I spent a great many years of my life feeling distant from God because i blamed Him for so many things. But now, when i honestly step back, i realize i put myself in many if not most of those situations.
When you married, did you go slow, take your time, prayerfully seek Gods guidance? You yourself seemed to indicate that you knew he wasn't a good guy before marrying him. Is it really God's fault you married someone you knew wasn't good? Is all the crap your husband put you through because God didn't do His job, or because you made your own choices and you had to live out the consequences? I see a lot of people do this. They make a bad choice, get dealt bad consequences for their bad decision, then blame God for not doing anything. Life has consequences. You can't run around doing wrong things and think its Gods responsibility to bail you out. God calls us to be wise and consider our choices prayerfully. God doesn't promise to keep us from our consequences.
Also, i hear a lot of people talking about not being able to find a job, or a better job. Everyone has this tunnel vision and seems to forget that we're in a bad time financially and that joblessness is everywhere right now. God can't create companies and jobs out of thin air to provide work. He has to utilize what is available. And really, right now, there isn't much available. Its not that God isn't answering prayers, its that the jobs are just simply not there. I remember seeing an ad placed for one cashier position at a grocery store. They gave specific times for people to come in and apply for the position. During the 20-30 minutes i was there i probably saw 30 other people applying. There was a total of 4 hours they took applications. That means a minimum of 160 people applied for one job, in one smaller town. We have a national financial crisis on our hands and so many Christians are taking the results of it personally, as God not caring or providing. But what exactly can God do if the jobs don't exist? Or what if one does open and 100 people apply, can the 99 that don't get it blame God for not providing? We live in a fallen failing world. Faith isn't saying 'ok, i trust God will make things easy'. Actually, i heard faith best as this.. 'faith makings difficult things possible, not easy'.
Lastly, be cautious of people preaching God wants us all to be rich and prosperous. Most televangelists preach this and its pure heresy. As much as we hate the idea, our growth comes from our struggles, not our happiness. I can relate though. A few years back i was diagnosed with some major health issues. For a while i was mad at God. But then, it came to light that it was likely my own actions that brought it on, but i still stayed angry at God... 'why didn't you stop me God?'. Felt God should have done something to prevent it and it was His fault. But over the past few years i've had to accept, it was my fault. My choices. My actions. And you know what, God WAS doing something, i just chose to ignore it. Did God come down in a might voice? No. Did he speak a warning to me through a prophet? No. What He did do was give me common sense. He gave me the information. He gave me the awareness i was headed towards trouble. Did i use that information and common sense to stop myself? No. He provided me with what i needed to make my own change, but i didn't take it. Thats not His fault. Just like if you marry a man you know is bad, its not God's fault. He gave you the awareness the man was bad, he gave you the common sense to stay away from bad people, but you ignored it. Its not that God hasn't been there and hasn't 'done anything', its that we ignore the things He gives us to make wise choices.
Wow. That's pretty much the very attitude that has turned me away from Christianity time and time again.

99% of the problems I am going through right now are the result of other people's bad decisions and other people's sins. The only mistake I made was marrying a man who would later abandon me, lie to me and try to steal my children. I didn't drive him away. He didn't leave because I was a bad wife. I really don't see how I could have prevented it, other than not marrying him in the first place. But considering I spent 14 miserable years with him, I would have thought that was punishment enough.

Our finances were poor because I became ill after the birth of my second child. Once again, not really a decision. I actually thought God was leading me to be a stay at home mom. But maybe I was misreading Him? I guess I deserve to be punished for that too.

I certainly didn't ask to be raised by a psychotic, abusive mother. Not the result of a bad decision on my part.

You're telling me I'm suffering because I made the mistake of marrying the wrong guy, therefore I deserve whatever happens as a result?

I never asked to be rich and prosperous. I asked to not spend every month wondering if I will have enough food for my children and whether or not I will lose my house.

I would LOVE for some wise person to come examine my life with a fine tooth comb and tell me what I could be doing differently to alter my current situation. I am wide open to whatever possibility they might suggest.
 
J

JuliaGoolia

Guest
#13
Julia, remember that this is one of the primary responsibilities of the church. Are you part of a church family? We exist in the body to support and nourish each other and, while God himself does reveal Himself to all in varying ways, it is simultaneously our job to shine His light through our lives. And I understand your frustration with "that zone", but it may just be that you are being weakened so that He may show you you true dependency on Him. And...I know little, but being on your knees is the only answer I know to be true.

Remember the Lord in Gethsemane...sweating blood in agony and overcome with grief while the disciples slept. Christ's perseverance is the model...so do all you can to lean on Him. If it demands more leaning, trusting, battling...then battles, trust, and lean even more.

I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#14
Julia,
My father left my mom after several abusive years and 10 children.
This gentle woman now had to figure out how to raise so many children on her own with very little and little hope of ever having what was needed.
But, she held onto Jesus in faith, no matter the trial, loss, difficulies, sorrows and needs.
I watched her as she first struggled, for my family as well had many emotional issues due to our fathers abuse.
But I watched her as she faced all that was set before her with a trust and faith that overcame every difficulty.
Again and again , challenges were set before her, but she held fast in faith, and Jesus rewarded her.
No, her life was not filled with all the things she wanted, nor did it get easyer.
But I saw her faith, and Jesus gifts set upon her.
She walked and lived trusting in Jesus for all needed, and when not given, the streangth to continue, remaining faithful no matter the outcome.
She raised not only her own children, but many others, and always gave to another in need, how she found the things to give Ill never know, :)
yet she refused no one oin need. :)
I watched as Jesus took this wonam, and brought in her a faith that was overflowing, a heart so filled with love and the joy of Jesus that it touched every person that knew her.
She was blessed in gifts that could not be bought, and these gifts overflowed to others.
Her smile was always ready and given, her heart that one knew was living in Jesus, and arms that were ready always to comfort, help and give.
Her life was never easy by the world's standards, but her walk and life was filled with gifts that one can only know by trusting all to God.
Jesus never failed to provide for her or our needs, but the mesure of needs is not always what one wants, but in the blessings of Gods love and presance in Jesus, she was rich beyond all mesure, and we were blessed as well by her faith.
I cannot tell you things will be the way you want them to be, but I will witness to you in Jesus that when you walk in faith in Jesus , trusting all with praise and thanksgivng, you will know the joy, delight, blessings and love of Jesus overflowing .
If I learned anything from my moms witness, it is that this kind of faith is a gift and blessing that comes with challanges, but worth it beyond mesure!
Dont let the the needs of the world steal from you that which is a great gift and treasure in Jesus.
Hold on to Jesus in faith, trusting all to His care.
In this you will see great blessings and the perfect love of Jesus.
You and your children are in my daily prayers in Jesus for all that is needed and His love.

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
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loveme1

Senior Member
Oct 30, 2011
8,138
216
63
#15
Julia stop looking for a better situation, and realise that you are are being tested, we must not decide when we have been tested enough, or how we should be tested.

You have to remember that the Almighty will only test you, as much as he knows you can handle, the question is do you trust him?


Believe to see and not see to believe, your situation is what will make or break you, read the Word know you are loved, repent and realise that Salvation does not mean you will have an easy time, with a life full of happiness and worldly riches.


Matthew 6:25-34
King James Version (KJV)
25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

27Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

28And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Have you considered that you may not be given what you ask, because it is not what you need? Can you not trust that your Heavenly Father knows best?
Stop praying for things, and pray for strength and guidance through this test.

Humble yourself with the Bible trust in your Almighty Yahweh.


We accept Salvation from this life full of wicked evil ways, our reward is eternal life
 
S

shekaniah

Guest
#16
I stuggled many years...untill I forgave those who hurt me. I had to carry my burden. Give all your burdens to God, so your prayers won't be hindered.
An unforgiving spirit can hinder your prayers to God. Your mother is just a product of what she learned. She might not be as strong as you are,
it is up to you to break the strongholds in your family through prayer and forgiveness.
Your childhood clouded your judgement. Ask God to Refine you...Ask him for His wisdom and insight.
I will pray for you, may God bless you and keep you, In Jesus Name. Amen

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

1 Peter 5:8,9,10 & 11
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
 

MrHonest

Senior Member
Jan 22, 2012
4,093
4
38
#17
How do you have faith when God does not answer your prayers?

When you have a very obvious need and He hasn’t seen to meet it, for some reason, how do you avoid speculating as to the reason, questioning your worthiness, doubting His love?

How do you keep believing when you feel like it’s been forever since you’ve seen or felt God’s presence?

How do you make yourself believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel?
I don't believe that God doesn't answer my prayers. I receive a response from the things I need & not receiving a response is an answer too. Prayers aren't answered immediately sometimes. I know I received an answer to a prayer 3 days after I prayed.

I don't doubt His love, if there is any love to doubt it would be my love for Him. We are not perfect yet He loves us.

If I feel alone, I remember who is at fault, me. He is always guiding us & when we're falling away & remember that God exists, that is Him nudging us.

He is the light, He is eternal.
 
G

greatblue

Guest
#18
I think you have hit it on the head.
I have subconsciously come to think of God as I did my ex-husband, and perhaps my mother as well. Someone on whom I could not rely, who did what they wanted when they wanted, NOT what I actually needed, someone who dangled my desires over me like a string and derived pleasure from watching me reach out for them in vain. Someone who enjoyed having all of the control and watching my frustration grow as a result.
But it is God who could not/can not rely on us. If you truly have this view, even if subconsciously, you are not fully allowing Him to rescue you. He is able, but if your faith in Him must be real. This takes dependence, submission, and admission of total weakness. Lean on Him for repose.

I am tired of this emotional rollercoaster. I want to see and experience God as He was meant to be. But I don't know if that's possible at this point. After all I've suffered, I wonder...am I too jaded?
If you just asked that question, then you are not too jaded. In fact, I believe you are right where you are supposed to be. Remember that it is in our infirmities that we know Him; it was through the sinners, the outcasts, and the lowly that He revealed His glorious love.

Please, don't take anything I say to be attacking or in way intentionally upsetting. I cannot imagine what you are going through and I have no idea what your past has been and what your present state is. I am lifting you up in prayer and believing that God is faithful.

"Let the peace of God rule in your hearts..." Col 3:15 "Let" means "allow". If you are not allowing, then you aren't able to get His peace. "Rule" means giving up all control. That means all thoughts, attitudes, any sense of entitlement...bring all under Jesus Christ's ownership. Give Him access to every aspect of you, your heart, your mind, your habits.
 
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dmdave17

Guest
#19
You see, my concept of love is also skewed. My mother was abusive and her love conditional. And although I became a Christian at 18, I'm not sure that my concept of love really changed.
Dear Julia,

I can sympathize with you 100%. My father died when I was 5 years old and my mother was a "conditional" lover; i.e., "I love you when you fit into my mold". I never experienced what it felt like to be truly loved unconditionally by a parent. As a result, I struggle with the concept of God's "agape" love for me and all mankind. But I have worked this out for myself as follows (sort of). I will not go into all the scriptural references here but I know that what I am saying is found in the Bible.

1. As Christians, we know that God exists. We accept the fact that He is the all-powerful, all-knowing creator of the universe, and everything in it.

2. As Christians, we accept the fact that the Bible is the inspired word of God.

3. God never changes His mind, and He never lies. He is "good". "His love endures forever".

4. In the Bible, God says that He loves each and every one of us. He proved that by sending His Son to die in our place, so that we could hope for an eternal relationship with Him.

5. Therefore, God loves ME. Not just "mankind" in some general sense, ME. All I need to do is accept that fact and He will show me many instances of His love at work.

God loves YOU. You are His precious child. I know in my heart that He is hurting right along with you. I am sure that He wants to help you but I'm guessing (and this is only a guess) that your own doubts are keeping you from connecting with His healing touch. In his letter to Christians, James said that if they needed something from God, "you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord." (James 1:6-7)

Now, I know that a lot of people out there (including, maybe, you) are saying, "Yeah, right. That's easy to say but very hard to do.". I know it. I usually have to work through points 1 through 5 at least once a day but it is working. The more I study God's word, and learn of His character, the more I realize that everything He says is right and true. And he says He loves ME (and YOU).

God bless you. I pray that things come together for you very soon.
 
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xtinaz

Guest
#20
I can testify through my testimony and my satisfaction I have in my relationship with God and how much I have grown - that it is so possible. I will be lifting you up in prayer. God loves eveyone the same - you will get that when you feel secure in him, when you let those walls that you have put up by pain and rejection. Love you hun, :) Be strong, God never gives us something we cant handle, even when it feels painful - its because he loves us and wants to take things away for our GOOD not to harm us or make life difficult. Its for FREEDOM that christ has set us free....stand firm....do not let yourself be burdened....you can do anything through christ who strengthens us :) XX He wants you to know that freedom, and so do you :)