For those who are wondering what I did:
I HAD a past of BPD, numerous times, I would hurt people I cared about, but with Gods help and love, and with the help and love of family and really good friends (the ones I had left), I overcame it, when I was thirteen. Mom told me several times back then, that she didn't know what to do with me.
When I was fifteen, I was just like any other girl at that age, I wanted the attention of boys. But I was rebellious in doing so.
Several months ago, I broke up with my second boyfriend, after lying and hurting for him for ten months, I finally realized that he wasn't who I needed him to be. But it was after the damage was already done. My parents and my friends couldn't trust me.
So, I've been trying so very hard to change that. But I did one thing wrong yesterday, I made mom mad at me, and she told me that she didn't know what to do with me. This is the first time in a long time she's said that to me. And it made me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough for her, like I wasn't good enough.
My dad has noticed that I'm trying, and he also knows that I'm going to be making mistakes as I learn. I just don't know why mom can't get it. And why she has to hurt me like that, just because she's mad at me. This is the second time in a week that she's gotten mad and said something hurtful to me.