life... always agianst me

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pray4me88

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sometimes i wonder ... did god put me here to make the wrong choices? i cant seem to do right , i always make the wrong choice. dono where to start... i was born and raised in a christian school, life was good back then, i was happy. shortly after elementary i was placed in a public school, and thats where all the real trouble started. began to smoke cigs and do w/e was needed to be seen as cool. years later i was a 10th grader addicted to cigs weed and meth, and had lost my virginity to a girl whom i had unprotected sex with, never made it past the 10th grade as i dropped out. i owrked a phew dead end jobs , but all the money i got i waisted on what i thought was good times. was able to quit meth around the age of 18, but still smoked marajuana and drank. i had unprotected sex agian with a complete stranger years later ... must of been 22, this scared me because i thought maybe i caught something.... all i could do was pray( funny how i always turn to god when i need him most, and ignore him in my day to day). after her i had another gf that i used for sex. she was younger and gulible. instead of being a good christian i took advantage. coming back to present day... i met my current gf online, we met in a park, and it was like love at 1st site. we have had sex, both protected and non, and we had a total baby scare, but ended up she wasnt pregnant. r sex life since the baby scare is gone and ive been feeling weak. recent made the worste choice of my life and decided to go on a date with another girl. we both agreed that it would be a friend date nothing more. by the end of the night i had unprotected sex with her.... wow right. so theres my mini biogrophy.. heres my problem. im 23 years old scared out of my mind. not only did i cheat on someone i care so much about.... i think i might of contracted something from the girl i cheated with. i have a constant tingling feeling in the tip of my penis almost like a burning sensation. the girl i was with claims shes clean and is sure of it. yet its been 6days since we had sex and ive had this feeling since 24hours after contact. i have to pee ever 30mins and almost nothing does come out when i do. i have no other symptoms at this time other then i feel like the worste human being in the world. went to a clinic today to gt looked at, and had a pee test, gues it isnt a infection and find out tomorrow on the results. im also getting blood work done tomorrow. the internets a scary place! and im so scared and lost right now. i need prayer guidence and comfort. i need to know everythings gana be ok. will my gf ever forgive me? and if i dont have herpies what else could it be? any prayer/med support would be appreciated. this feels like the darkest part of my life and suicide is right around the corner
 
Please put yourself totally in the Hand of God. He will never let you down. May God give you a clear thinking mind in His sight, may you be comforted and wizened in Him always in Jesus' name, amen.
 
hurtfull to hear.i know a lot of people would be thinking the wrong way in that position.sometimes when a person is in a situation like that,they will colapse into total dispare,but brother,this is a time that you really need someone close to talk to, talk to someone who has experienced people in this situation,if you are not truly spiritually minded,then you need to do what is needed in the physical.
i want to help,but your true help is above.its the spirit that gives life.only God can help.he said in matthew 11
28 Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Warning and Invitation
Matthew Chapter 11 : 28

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is light.

Father in heaven,i pray that my brothers mind is stayed on you and your word. constant meditation,and moving towards you,and realizing more and more unto the fullness of the day that you are good and the word is true.in JESUS name.

look to the hills where our strength comes from.
 
The only thing I can say is choose to quit your sinful ways and turn wholeheartedly to God, and live by His word. He will take care of the rest. God bless
 
If you go to God and genuinely confess and repent, He'll forgive you. And you don't have to feel guilty. I'll be keeping you in prayer.
Dear Father, we lift up our brother to you. Lord you know everything he's been through, every trial. We just pray that you'll fill him with your peace. We pray against anything negative in him that is not of you. We pray against the devil that tells him lies. We pray against negativity, fear, worry, condemnation, guilt, depression, suicide... all of it. It has no place in his life. Lord, give him your strength so that he will continue to pray against these things.
We pray that he will not dwell in the past. Fill him with your hope, Lord. Sometimes situations may hurt him, some of them won't always make sense. But there's one thing that will never ever change. It's that you will ALWAYS be with him every step of the way. Make him stronger and stronger. Help him to realize that the devil is out to get him, that the devil's trying to take him out. But Lord, you love him. He's so important to you. He's set apart, he is your creation, he is your child.
We pray that you'll fill him with your love. We pray that he'll put you in the center of everything, because only then, will things fall into place. Help him to make you his first love, before he gets into any other relationships. We pray for favor for his clinic test. And no matter what happens, help him not to worry, fill him with your peace.
Lord protect him, and help him to remember the promises you've given him. No weapon formed against him will remain. If you are for him, no one can be against him. We thank you for everything you're going to do. We pray these things in your name, amen.
 
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wasnt suicidal but i felt like curling up and dieing. has been a ruff week.... all my test results for stds came back neg. im doin more blood test to c wat else it could b. still have the burning feeling in my urethra, and
like a comstant need to urinate. still down on my luck and am very scared. thnx for ur prayers it helps
 
My dear, you are young and broken like us all. You may have an STI, or you may just have a UTI. Either way, get checked. As for everything else, you seem very defeated. I have been there many times and its a very difficult place to be. Paul was spoke of a similar situation in his own life where he knew what he was supposed to do and yet he chose to do the wrong thing. While you may not see this, you do have a few things going for you. 1) you said you were raised in a Christian home. This probably means that you have at least one Christian that you can talk to. You may not believe you can talk to them, but its not true. In our shame, we allow ourselves to believe that no one will understand and everyone will judge you. Its simply not true. 2) you are still able to see that your sin is sin. That means that they HS is still at work in you, and you ear It.
I encourage you to talk to someone. Let it all out. Secrecy breeds death. I encourage you to read the word. Use a plan of need be. Get a devotion. Use a computer or iPhone program. Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. The Spirit is with you. You simply need to access that freedom. Also, pray for healing from your shame. Shame is debilitating. It will completely change you. You are not worthless. You are not the scum of the earth. You are a sinner like the rest of us... A sinner for which God Almighty sent His only Son to die for and buy back. Why did He die? Because He thought you were worth it. He did so that you could have abundant life. You do not have a high priest who cannot empathize with your problems. He became 100% flesh so he can speak directly into your life, so He can give wisdom and direction.
 
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pray4me88 said:
wasnt suicidal but i felt like curling up and dieing. has been a ruff week.... all my test results for stds came back neg. im doin more blood test to c wat else it could b. still have the burning feeling in my urethra, and
like a comstant need to urinate. still down on my luck and am very scared. thnx for ur prayers it helps
Click to expand...
hallelujah
Praise GOD
thank you JESUS
:):):)
GOD loves us...........believe this. JESUS is for you.meditate on
john 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/James-5-16/
 
You are not alone, I have lived that life and it is scary when you put start thinking about your salvation. I totally went through that also. You are confessing it to us but what's important is to get on your knees and tell God exactly what you have told us. You feel like this because the Holy Spirit is working in you, if it was not the Holy Spirit then you would continue to live life like whatever you feel like doing. The Holy Spirit is calling you to repent, and confess your sins to God our Father, he will forgive you because Jesus died for our sins, He loves you so much, just think about how much wrong you've done and yet your are still walking around doing what you want, others arent so fortunate because they end up permanently diseased, in jail, or dead. I am one of the fortunate ones and it was because God was patient with me and protected me. I will pray for you so that the Lord may give you strength to do what is right, be careful, the reason why God hates sin is selfish and it destroys us, and He loves us very much. So before you have to suffer some real consequences, slow down, confess it to the Lord and ask for strength to resist sin. God bless you brother.
 
Praying for you in Jesus for all that is His care and healing love.

God bless
pickles
 
OH MAN.....You totally sound like ME AT YOUR AGE!!! Weird reading your post. I'm reading about the former me, ahhhh, your scaring me dude!!!!

Okay here's some advice. Your going to have a kid. Yes you will have a kid. It's like 100% guaranteed. Because if you're having sex enough you'll have a kid, thats' what happens. And the girl isn't gonna want to and shouldn't get an abortion. So what will happen is after she has the kid you'll either have to be the dad (and you must step up if that happens, don't you dare take off!) or if for some reason she takes off or leaves you then you'll have to pay child support for about the next 20 years, which is about 15% of your monthly income. And if you don't pay then you don't drive. And if you get a job then they deduct it from your paycheck and you have no say in anything.

I know that sounds crazy but trust me I know okay. This is what's gonna happen to you, it's a guarantee. I CAN SEE YOUR FUTURE!!!

So you should either try and keep it in your pants, get it snipped, or get into a solid pattern of always wearing head gear. Look buddy you're gonna have a tough life if you keep up all this crap. If you met a girl that you said it was love at first sight then build a relationship with her and get married to her. That's what becoming a man is all about. Then you can eventually have a family together and when you get really old you'll have a group of people around you that love you and support you.

Alternative to that you'll be some weird funky old man still chasing tale, you'll have a few kids that you're paying child support on. You'll have no loved ones who care about you. You'll be aimlessly wasting the few decent years of your life. So don't end up here.

So again, if you met someone amazing build something and marry her and settle down and build a future. You'll have a good, happy, safe, enjoyable, fun loving future that way.

Don't be an idiot her bud. Time to grow up okay. Take it from someone who knows.

Dear lord please help him to grow up and settle down if he has this chance, please make it work for him. Thank you lord amen.
 
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