long distance relationships

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Would you involve yourself in a long distance relationship?

  • Yes

    Votes: 38 54.3%

  • No

    Votes: 14 20.0%

  • Undecided

    Votes: 18 25.7%
  • Total voters
    70
JohnWesleyMethodist said:
I dated this girl long distance once, and when I went to visit her, we went out to eat. She first ordered a Coke and then when the waitress brought the Coke my g/f changed her mind and told her to please take back the Coke and bring her Rootbeer instead. Boy was I disgusted at that! How rude!
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I think you're right to be turned off by that. My mother always said you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat customer service staff. That's the kind of thing that's easy to conceal on-line. As someone else mentioned, there's a lot you can conceal about yourself on-line. I think I mentioned before that there was this one guy who wanted to marry me so he could stay in Canada. He said he loved how I was smart and beautiful and a good Christian. What was there not to love? Well, I told him he'd have second thoughts when he saw what a disaster my house was. He said it wouldn't matter. He was wrong.
 
You know, despite all that I've said on this website about not wanting a long distance realtionship and, well, already being in a realtionship, and being cautious about being contacted on-line about guys who want to get into your country, guess what I found in my Christian Chat inbox? That's right. A message from a guy on the other side of the world who says he wants to marry me.

Even on this site. Be careful out there, ladies!!!!!
 
Oh, one last thing. I can't remember if I've asked this already, but guys, I have a question for you.

Am I right that when I was doing internet dating and I was contacted by a guy who lives far away that he's thinking that if we hit it off on-line (and visits) and a relocation is in order that chances are the guy is thinking that it's more likely that I'll move to him than he'll move to me simply because he's the guy and I'm the girl? Or, to put it another way, when I was contacted by a guy who lived far away, I assume this is what was going through his head "Maybe she'll fall in love with me solely based on e-mails and the ocassional visit, and then she'll quit her job where she's worked so hard to get to where she is, uproot her life where God has planted her, and move to wherever I live just so she can be near me." Am I wrong to assume that's what he's probably thinking? Or if he's not from Canada he assumes that I'll jump at the chance to get married even if it's from a guy I don't know on the other side of the world who hardly speaks English. It's difficult to be close friends with me if one isn't really good at English because I talk really, really fast. And when I'm tired my accent gets thick. I was at a friend's house late at night once and her cousin was there from Scotland and by 11:30 at night he said he couldn't hardly understand me because of my accent. I don't know. Either way I get offended when guys contact me from far away wanting a relationship. Am I wrong to feel that way? Am I being too cynical?
 
Ancilla said:
What we would suggest is that you invite family or a trusted friend into your correspondence with the people you are meeting. We know this sounds very personal, but consider letting them read the emails, profiles, etc. to get their perspective on these individuals. We are aware of some examples of humble people who have done just this as they sought to apply biblical principles to online dating. Finally, bring the people you are meeting into your community so your family and friends and pastors can begin to get to know them face-to-face. This will bring much needed grace, protection, and wisdom to you as you evaluate this relationship."]
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I'm imagining my mom reading an email or a guy's profile :eek: And yep, I'm 45 and it's still that frightening.

I've sent profiles to my best friend, and shared stuff with her, but I never got to the point where I felt I wanted to introduce a guy to everyone. Or anyone.

I've met two men in person that I've corresponded with online. One had the greatest sense of humor but turned out to be a middle aged player...or rather, thought of himself as one. Not attractive. In fact I'm shuddering as I write this.

The second was a really nice guy until I found out his mirror is his best friend. He whined about his insecurities worse than a child and although I tried to be kind and reassuring, there was no way I was gonna be able to keep it up...nor did I want to. Blech.

I just don't even bother with men in that capacity anymore and it's fine by me.

I know of several successful Christian couples who met online. God bless 'em. :)
 
jaylynn83 said:
hahaahha moooooore than likely NOT!!! I will never understand men that do that!!
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He probably doesn't have time to read what every young woman on this site from a county that's desirable to immigrate to has written. I'm yet to get an e-mail from a man who I suspect just wants in to Canada that actually references any thing that I've written. With internet dating I just want to respond "If you read my profile you'll know that I'm not interesting in helping anyone move to Canada." I've actually written that on my profile before, and I've seen that written on other profiles too. In fact, guys who want to immigrate aren't the only ones that send out mass generic e-mails. I think at one point I said I only responded to e-mails where the guy references at least one specific thing about my profile so I'd know they actually read it.
 
Ancilla said:
You know, despite all that I've said on this website about not wanting a long distance realtionship and, well, already being in a realtionship, and being cautious about being contacted on-line about guys who want to get into your country, guess what I found in my Christian Chat inbox? That's right. A message from a guy on the other side of the world who says he wants to marry me.

Even on this site. Be careful out there, ladies!!!!!
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I sent him an e-mail giving him examples of things that I'd written on the forum that if he'd read he'd know not to approach me in this way. Well, he e-mailed me back saying that I'm a liar because my profile says that I'm unmarried and now I say that I have a boyfriend. He also said that he felt insulted by all my questions and it's a sin to insult someone and if I'm not looking for someone who's blessed
by God then that's my problem. Well, I said that I wanted a man who was wise and gave examples of how I thought his behaviour was unwise. I don't know, I guess in his culture he's used to women doing what they're told and not asking questions. This is why pursing a relationship with someone from his culture would be very, very, very unwise!!!!! You know, the way a guy responds when he's being rejected speaks volumes about their character.
 
hahahahahahahahaha Ancilla was it Murat???????......coz he's been doing that to a few I reckon ;)
 
hahahahaha.....just add Mr M to da list.....Mr A, Mr C and now Mr M......soon you'll have the whole dang alphabet :p
 
HAHAHAHHAHAH Man how pitiful is that!!! There three letters combined spell MAC............ and that is what they shall be known as........ MY MACKEY WACKEY!!!
 
missy2shoes said:
hahahahahahahahaha Ancilla was it Murat???????......coz he's been doing that to a few I reckon ;)
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It sure was. I saw that you'd written on his wall and was going to send you a message and ask if he'd done the same thing to you. I mean I was sure he'd done that with other girls on this site. I just can't stand that arrogant attitude of "If you don't want me, then you're not looking for a man of God." Well, I'm definitely not a nice girl by his yardstick. I guess he's looking for a girl who won't talk back! When my sister was 21 she went on a mission trip to Zambia. She wasn't there to specifically tell people about God as much as she was there to give people there free physiotherapy (which is known in other countries as physical therapy or sports med) treatment. There were already the traditional kind of missionaries there. Well, she was told that there would be guys there looking to marry her so they could come to Canada. They'd say things to her like "Sister, tell me how to become a Christian." Or "Sister, please pray with me." If they wanted that there were missionaries for that. But if they wanted her to fix their stiff shoulder, then she could do that. See, Murat said he wanted to talk to me about God, probably figuring what kind of Christian girl rejects someone who wants to talk about God? Well, the kind of girl who believes that "talking about God" is best done in one's local Bible study. I mean, if someone has a specific question about how I interpret one passage, or something, that's one thing, but just to wanting to talk generally about God, whatever.

See, like I said before. This used to happen to me a lot when I did Internet dating. I'd get "God's told me to marry you." Well, either that's either true, or he's lying. He can't be telling the truth because (amoung other reasons) my parents don't want me to pursue an international relationship and to do so would be to disobey them (and they're wise Christians and I never have any excuse to disobey them) and therefore would be a sin. So, then the options either become that God wants me to sin, or they're lying. Gee, I wonder. So, then the only explanation is that they're trying to use my relationship with God to decieve me and they get offended when I don't believe them! What the heck kind of person would do that?????
 
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