FOR MARRIED EYES ONLY!!!!!

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Strong1

Guest
#1
#1
I said MARRIED EYES! Jokes....anyone can comment here. ;)

This may get a little racy, so please use your discretion okay? K.

Here goes......
So I am fully aware that husbands and wives have very different needs in the department of love making/sex.....so do you think this was so, from the beginning?
I somehow imagine that Adam and Eve had it pretty Bang on, (no pun intended)
Don't you think God made them to experience love making absolutely perfected? So what happened along the lines?
Why is it that Men and women differ so much now, as far as our "needs" go, where sex is concerned?
Why do so many women go feeling unfufilled sexually?
Why do so many men feel they don't "get it" enough?
At the end of the day, were all still in love, but man....do we have different thoughts on this topic?
S what happened to sex? I just think God had something different in mind when he created it.
What do you say?
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#2
#2
I read an article on this topic earlier on the Focus on the Family website.
For the amount of help articles on this subject for Christian couples, it's interesting that no one wants to discuss it. Too personal maybe.
 
S

SpaceCowboy

Guest
#3
#3
I remember hearing this extra biblical story about how God created Adam and Lilith first, because in Genesis it says that God created man and women. Then it goes on and says that it's not fit for Adam to be alone so he created Eve out of his rib. Story goes that Lilith got mad because Adam was always on top during sex and she felt like she deserved to be on top and thus rebeled against Adam and God created Eve for him. It's not biblical but it's interesting. The whole topic of sexuality can be an iffy one because there are so many freaks out there that like all sorta freakish stuff. I don't know if Adam and Eve had it "perfect" whatever that would mean, but I'm sure it was a lot different back in the day. More pure I reckon. I think as time went on and various sins infiltrated our species that sexuality got perverted a long the way. I don't know what you mean by men and women differing as far as needs go, but as far as feeling unfulfilled I think it starts with emotional unfilfillment first. So if a women isn't emotionally secure she's not going to be sexually fulfilled.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#4
#4
Men and womens needs differ meaning, if you take a poll, you'll see that both sexes will give differing perspectives on what they "need" or "want" from one another in this area.
I'll bet on peoples honeymoon, a good percentage of couples are surprised. Not at all getting what was expected. And this sad expectation sometimes runs through years of marriage.
Maybe this is why some men cheat?
I say men because, generally men cheat for sexual reasons. Women different reasons entirely.
 
S

SpaceCowboy

Guest
#5
#5
Strong1 said:
Men and womens needs differ meaning, if you take a poll, you'll see that both sexes will give differing perspectives on what they "need" or "want" from one another in this area.
I'll bet on peoples honeymoon, a good percentage of couples are surprised. Not at all getting what was expected. And this sad expectation sometimes runs through years of marriage.
Maybe this is why some men cheat?
I say men because, generally men cheat for sexual reasons. Women different reasons entirely.
Click to expand...
Honestly the needs differ as much as personalities differ from person to person. Not necessarily male to female. I think if your dissapointed on your honeymoon then you had your expectations in the wrong place, and there's something more going on. And people who cheat (man and women) would cheat regardless of how perfect the sex may be. Cheating is an issue that runs deeper then the satisfaction or expectations of sex.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#6
#6
I don't know if I agree with that.
Okay look if men cheaing at times has little to do with sex, what is it about? Why would they seem to go off and express whatever problem they are having sexually? Is it possible that the way men view sex has a lot to do with the way they "express" something more than women actually understand?....i don't know but, I know men and women view sex differently, and this is why i wrote the original post
 
jonathanbchristian

jonathanbchristian

Banned
#7
Feb 16, 2011
2,957
24
0
#7
no one christian should talk about this subject. this is not something for christian chat.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#8
#8
jonathanbchristian said:
no one christian should talk about this subject. this is not something for christian chat.[/quote
Why would you say something like that? Is it not God who created Sex and love in marriage? Why would we not be able to talk about it?
Click to expand...
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#9
#9
jonathanbchristian said:
no one christian should talk about this subject. this is not something for christian chat.
Click to expand...
Are you crazy? The amount of topics that have appeared on this chat site, and this is the one you point to as inappropriate? Marriage and Sex?! Shoiuld non- Christians take on this topic?
Wow, You are misinformed, and really sound like an arrogant Christian. Too holy to talk about sex within the confines that it belongs? Idiot.
 
S

SpaceCowboy

Guest
#10
#10
jonathanbchristian said:
no one christian should talk about this subject. this is not something for christian chat.
Click to expand...
Get ooouuuta here with that super saint bullcrap. There's nothing wrong with sex, or discussing it if you can do so properly. God created sex. If you can't handle it go somewhere else.


Strong1 said:
I don't know if I agree with that.
Okay look if men cheaing at times has little to do with sex, what is it about? Why would they seem to go off and express whatever problem they are having sexually? Is it possible that the way men view sex has a lot to do with the way they "express" something more than women actually understand?....i don't know but, I know men and women view sex differently, and this is why i wrote the original post
Click to expand...
People are strange Strong1. Especially men lol haha. But really cheating is rooted in the soul and psyche. Someone who cheats or has strong urges and temptations to do so, there's something seriously wrong with the way they process things. Not all men are dogs and not all women are harlots. There are those I'm sure that just have no self-control and lust constantly and that's the reason for cheating, but even then the constant lust is a sign of an internal issue with their soul and psyche. I dare to say it's not natural. God didn't creat men or women to be total horndogs. There are those that cheat to get back at their spouse. I mean the list goes on and on. But I don't think it's as black and white as men cheat becaue they view sex like this and women cheat becaue of this. A man and women can have the same reasons to cheat and at the same time be at odds for the reasons and motivations. It alll boils down to whats the malfunction with that certain person.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#11
#11
SpaceCowboy said:
Get ooouuuta here with that super saint bullcrap. There's nothing wrong with sex, or discussing it if you can do so properly. God created sex. If you can't handle it go somewhere else.

Well said Bro!


People are strange Strong1. Especially men lol haha. But really cheating is rooted in the soul and psyche. Someone who cheats or has strong urges and temptations to do so, there's something seriously wrong with the way they process things. Not all men are dogs and not all women are harlots. There are those I'm sure that just have no self-control and lust constantly and that's the reason for cheating, but even then the constant lust is a sign of an internal issue with their soul and psyche. I dare to say it's not natural. God didn't creat men or women to be total horndogs. There are those that cheat to get back at their spouse. I mean the list goes on and on. But I don't think it's as black and white as men cheat becaue they view sex like this and women cheat becaue of this. A man and women can have the same reasons to cheat and at the same time be at odds for the reasons and motivations. It alll boils down to whats the malfunction with that certain person.
Click to expand...
So do you think that sex in itself is just as pure as the day God created it, but we have somehow lost the true essence and beauty being in this messed up world? Cuz I still think married folk tend to havesome issues with it....nothing a little communication can't handle.
 
S

SpaceCowboy

Guest
#12
#12
Strong1 said:
So do you think that sex in itself is just as pure as the day God created it, but we have somehow lost the true essence and beauty being in this messed up world? Cuz I still think married folk tend to havesome issues with it....nothing a little communication can't handle.
Click to expand...
Yeah, exactly. It's as pure as the people having it.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#13
#13
Ha HA, I just gained insite from a youngin' you'll make a great spouse one day! (if your not there already)
Bless you my brother.
 
S

SpaceCowboy

Guest
#14
#14
Strong1 said:
Ha HA, I just gained insite from a youngin' you'll make a great spouse one day! (if your not there already)
Bless you my brother.
Click to expand...
:D I'm striving for it, that's for sure.
Bless you too sister.
 
J

Jordache

Guest
#15
#15
Interesting question. It is true men and women view sex very differently. Even very healthy ones do. I don't think viewing it differently is a perversion necessarily. And though not everyone falls completely into their gender description at all times, they are generally true for most times and people. The old saying is true. "Women have sex to get love. Men love in order to have sex.". A book I read once talked about how as women we are always complaining about how men don't meet our emotional need so why should we meet their physical need. We feel unable at times to meet that need because we are a gaping wound of emotional neediness. But the problem is, women do not understand sex as a physical need (usually).and we judge men. We need emotional connection to make a physical one. Men are opposite. It's physical then emotional. And their physical need is not less or worse than our emotional need. Do not assume that I'm giving a blanket statement. I do know there are exceptions.
Before the fall, women had no need to control men by withholding physical intimacy. Adam and Eve were equally for each others fulfillment. I believe they were looking to fulfill each other rather than guaranteeing they were filled.
 
S

Strong1

Guest
#16
#16
Jordache said:
Interesting question. It is true men and women view sex very differently. Even very healthy ones do. I don't think viewing it differently is a perversion necessarily. And though not everyone falls completely into their gender description at all times, they are generally true for most times and people. The old saying is true. "Women have sex to get love. Men love in order to have sex.". A book I read once talked about how as women we are always complaining about how men don't meet our emotional need so why should we meet their physical need. We feel unable at times to meet that need because we are a gaping wound of emotional neediness. But the problem is, women do not understand sex as a physical need (usually).and we judge men. We need emotional connection to make a physical one. Men are opposite. It's physical then emotional. And their physical need is not less or worse than our emotional need. Do not assume that I'm giving a blanket statement. I do know there are exceptions.
Before the fall, women had no need to control men by withholding physical intimacy. Adam and Eve were equally for each others fulfillment. I believe they were looking to fulfill each other rather than guaranteeing they were filled.
Click to expand...
By saying that men love in order to get sex, and women have sex to get love, (and I totally agree with this statement) it's hitting the point totally for my OP. If this statement holds true, we are complete opposites, and thinking differently entirely about the same subject, Could it be possible that God made us this differently? If this is true HOw can we possibly achieve oneness in loving one another this way?
 
Nattmaran

Nattmaran

Banned [Reason: ongoing "gay Christian" agenda and
#17
Mar 31, 2012
291
0
0
#17
Okay I am not married... but I had to look (yup... I am curious so shoot me)

I just read a book about sexuality and genders so I will share some of that insight.


Strong1 said:
So I am fully aware that husbands and wives have very different needs in the department of love making/sex.

Why is it that Men and women differ so much now, as far as our "needs" go, where sex is concerned?
Click to expand...
It might be like this yes... I have heard it said many times but I also think that you should think about the different social roles that boys and girls are brought up in. Boys, when they come into their teens and then becomes men are sort of supposed to be manly, find a spouse, have sex, look at porn and all the other sexual things. For them to be horny is all natural. Sex and love is two different things.

Girls on the other hand are told that sex is "love". For a girl to be horny and needy is shameful and she should be there for they guy. There is not porn for them but romance novels and as soon as a girl gets just a tiny bit sexual explicit she is a slut, whore or just a bad girl while a boy behaving the same way is completely normal.

And if you go back to the victorian ages women where concidered to have no real sexuality. They were meant to give birth to babies and please the man. To even touch, think and talk about it was shameful and the once that could not take it got the medical tearm "hysteria" and was locked up in a mental institution (or just in the attic in some stories).

So how different are we really when it come to our "natural desires" or is it just social controls? I mean... in north african countries they even remove the womens genitals (at least the ones that makes pleasure possible) to keep them "calm".

I do think that things are chaning. Girls talk more about sex and it it is more okay now for a girl to show that she is interested in a boy than earlier. But still these old social norms remain and she is seen as the harlot.

I mean, I get horny... and feel the need for physical pleasure as all girls do.


Why do so many women go feeling unfufilled sexually?
Click to expand...
I think that it is because of the role of the woman as a reciver... the guy is fulfilling his pleasures and thinks that "putting it in there" does it. But here I think a lot of responsibility lies on the women to say "hold it mister... I am not done yet... get down there and XXX". I mean... things wont change if you don't make them change.

Why do so many men feel they don't "get it" enough?
Click to expand...
That I can't answer... but I think that men that watch to much porn can get a deluded mind about what sex really is and how it is supposed to be done.

what happened to sex? I just think God had something different in mind when he created it.
What do you say?
Click to expand...
I'll say that sexuality has been laded with so much GUILT (and here Christianity is sadly a big bad guy in making it so), SHAME and influence of a PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY that the good things in life that was created has become somthing that only half of the population (the male part) should take plesure in.

And o for the record. I think that sexual education is extremely important to young people. Esp for girls... Not just - abstain from sex - and that is something of a great mystery... it is not... everyone does it... humans, animals, plants (ehum... well perhaps not plants).

It is important to know about it when you are young and how you protect yourself from diseases, make the rigth choices and that you (esp as a girl) because of no knowledge of it get in bad situations.

/A
 
J

jimsun

Guest
#18
#18
Sorry, JonathanChristian. Can't agree with you either.
Interesting post, Strong1 - Set me thinking, but I can only respond from a personal point of view.

Sex, making love - or whichever of the many nouns you want to describe it by !- has always been an essentiasl & important part of the relationship adventure that my wife & I have enjoyed, since we both met @ ages 16!

As Adam is thought to have said to Eve, in the Garden - "Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets"!!

BW; J+
 
Nattmaran

Nattmaran

Banned [Reason: ongoing "gay Christian" agenda and
#19
Mar 31, 2012
291
0
0
#19
As Adam is thought to have said to Eve, in the Garden - "Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets"!!
Click to expand...
LOL!

Funny indeed!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.