How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.

[shiner500]

if you are having no luck you could always try a dating site like christianmingle

 

[FLEETER]

Go sit in the corner and think about what you just said Dothack.

It seems to me if the penalty or chastisement for ignorant comments puts one in "the corner" to think, Dot won't be the only one with his nose wedged in the arc of the corner's radius, lol. Let's face it, like an elevator...there are capacity limits....

 

[Jullianna]

I find it funny that everyone seems to be missing this part.

btw, I'm a virgin, and haven't even kissed a girl yet.

Dot, you know we love you. I even love that it's often your innocence that makes you say things that cause me to shake my head at times. I know you don't realize the impact of it sometimes and probably don't mean it the way it comes across, and that makes me smile.

I think most people are only saying that it's important not to ignore the people God brings us into contact with in our lives. They may not be what WE think we want or need, but God knows us better than we know ourselves. What He has in mind for your life may surprise you. There may be a lady out there who will bring things to your life and enrich it in ways you never imagined. And she may not be a virgin. And it may not be through any fault of her own.

hugs

 

[dothackzero]

Dot, you know we love you. I even love that it's often your innocence that makes you say things that cause me to shake my head at times. I know you don't realize the impact of it sometimes and probably don't mean it the way it comes across, and that makes me smile.

I think most people are only saying that it's important not to ignore the people God brings us into contact with in our lives. They may not be what WE think we want or need, but God knows us better than we know ourselves. What He has in mind for your life may surprise you. There may be a lady out there who will bring things to your life and enrich it in ways you never imagined. And she may not be a virgin. And it may not be through any fault of her own.

hugs

Actually, after thinking about it. It's not a matter of unforgiveness to the girl, ------edited---------- Meaning, it's probably a little bit of jealusy.

 

[Jullianna]

Are you sure it isn't more of a thing of insecurity instead? Isn't that the root of most jealousy?

You were blunt and honest, so allow me to be as well. Marry the lady who reciprocates the love you have for her and it will become a non-issue. It's not about sexual performance to the woman who truly loves you. If you trust one another enough and communicate well in this regard, you can work that out just fine. What your lady will want from you is that you are trustworthy and loving.

 

[CC_Bride]

Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)

To quote your thread title I will ask another question:

How hard is it to find a Christian guy who hasn't had porn and masturbation issues?

Cos weren't they your issues that you still struggle to recover from to this day? Are you planning on telling girls you're interested about your sins? Are you planning on telling them that you spent a period of time idolising what your hand could do and the fake harem of hundreds of women in your head? I think you need to figure out how to change yourself according to Gods standards to make yourself a better husband for WHOEVER God has planned for you, rather than criticizing the previous sins of your sisters.

 

[CC_Bride]

How is that you can have high standards of virginity ("no more than tongue kissing", I mean c'mon!), yet you don't have those same standards for yourself? By your own definition, you yourself are not sexually pure even if you've never had intercourse or even kissed a girl. Paul never defined sexual purity to just the mechanics of intercourse, he called it "Pornea" which God defined as the the junk draw of sexual immorality You've got double standards... A girl who is not a virgin and may even have had herpes is no more a sinner than you are. You've both dabbled in the pornea junk draw.

 

[dothackzero]

How is that you can have high standards of virginity ("no more than tongue kissing", I mean c'mon!), yet you don't have those same standards for yourself? By your own definition, you yourself are not sexually pure even if you've never had intercourse or even kissed a girl. Paul never defined sexual purity to just the mechanics of intercourse, he called it "Pornea" which God defined as the the junk draw of sexual immorality You've got double standards... A girl who is not a virgin and may even have had herpes is no more a sinner than you are. You've both dabbled in the pornea junk draw.

I said I'd perfer it that way. as for girls that have had sex, it's not the fact the fact that they've had sex that's the problem to me. I would explain further, but it got edited out even though I was explaining it as cleanly as I knew how to get the point across, but it still got edited out.

 

[dothackzero]

Are you sure it isn't more of a thing of insecurity instead? Isn't that the root of most jealousy?

You were blunt and honest, so allow me to be as well. Marry the lady who reciprocates the love you have for her and it will become a non-issue. It's not about sexual performance to the woman who truly loves you. If you trust one another enough and communicate well in this regard, you can work that out just fine. What your lady will want from you is that you are trustworthy and loving.

I'm not worried about performance once I'm married. I mean practice makes perfect. and I already plan on much communication in the area so things will be better. Basically, it's a lot more that I don't like the idea of being a girl that way.

 

[GreenNnice]

Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)

_______
Sigh....

Yes, dothack0, me too, but when a girl commits her life to Christ all old is passed away ,she is a NEW creature. YOU must obey this and understand this, my prinny disgaea friend, the Lord will show you IF you let Him. You want a born again girl, and, that is all I will say on this.

Always good to talk to you, Christ bro. You are sincere in what you say albeit, like me ,too, sometimes your judgment is going to hurt feelings. Just think about things before the Lord in prayer before anything you do (and say) in life. Much hurt can exude to others from mere words.

Read proverbs and pay close attention to the verses that speak of 'words,' their power to help, ,to hurt, to encourage, to love, to befriend, to do soo much. Words.
May the Spirit lead you. You have read the first part of Acts 8, it is what christians do after having accepted Christ. Has to do with the 'Spirit.'

Like I said, anytime, PM me. I love you, my prinny disgaea friend, you are searching for the best from God, keep searching, and, also read Jeremiah 29:11, 12, 13 now.

The Lord leads

 

[Paraclete]

Well, you're sure getting plenty of advice on this forum! I think what we're talking about here is idealism (by the way, thanks for your honesty). It does make one wonder what the value of virginity truly is. You mentioned jealousy, which is understandable. I also wonder about the Scripture that says "two shall be one flesh." So, virginity may be something that is over-rated, or it may be something that is under-rated.

I only care to offer two opinions:

1. You may find someone who has never had sex or even kissed another man, and she may turn out to be a lousy wife.

2. For the record, I have great admiration for any woman who embraces the responsibility of taking care of her kids, choosing not to abort, nor seeing her children as a burden. That being said, I too am selfish and I would prefer to have a woman all to myself for some length of time before *our* child is born. So while I feel sorry for single mothers, I do not really desire to pursue them.

But God works in mysterious ways. Let's try to keep an open mind...

 

[CC_Bride]

I said I'd perfer it that way. as for girls that have had sex, it's not the fact the fact that they've had sex that's the problem to me. I would explain further, but it got edited out even though I was explaining it as cleanly as I knew how to get the point across, but it still got edited out.

Im sure girls would prefer you to have not masturbated and looked at porn but thats not the case is it?

 

[phil36]

Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)

Hi dothackzero,

I think I understand what your saying, although you may have worded it a bit better lol. One thing we all need to remember is that we are all sinners saved by grace, the girl in question is now a beautiful child in God, yes she may have a child, But I want you to think over something before making your mind up.

Maybe, just maybe, God has seen that His child (the girl), needs a godly man in her life for her and her child, just maybe God knows that the child will be His and you may be that father figure to lead him in the ways of Jesus.

anyhow just a thought, some times we look for a blissful ideal in a broken world, my spouse needs to be this and she needs to be this or that, but we have to remember that no matter who we marry they are just as broken as us and saved by grace. But, I also see why you would like to marry a virgin.

This is really to all guys, while chasing the ideal just remember all those girls/ladies who are God's children, they may not be vurgins, they may have children, but they too need someone to love them for who they are, they too need a godly men to protect and care for them. The children also need male role figures who will love them and be a godly father to them. Just please young men bare this in mind.

That Lady with the child/ren may be the one God wants you to be with!


Phil

 

[Shelsiegirl]

Hmm...I think to answer your original question...yes it is hard to find a girl that is a virgin, but if that's what your looking for I'm sure you will find one because if you seek God first I believe he will give you the desires of your heart...its your life so you can pick the kinda girl you want to spend your life with. so good luck in finding the girl of your dreams!

 

[Jullianna]

CC Bride has a point...or two. Just as you indicate that you wouldn't be comfortable thinking about your wife having been with another man, many women feel the same way regarding guys having been addicted to porn, whether virgins or not. Are virtual lovers all that different from real ones, except that there is no actual physical contact?

First of all, things don't happen as quickly or easily with regard to the female body in real life as they do on film. Women have concerns that men may not realize this.

Secondly, a lot of women have insecurities about not looking like some of the women in those films. Though, from what I've seen, that's definitely not a legitimate concern.

Not trying to derail your thread or anything. Simply pointing out that the door swings both ways.

 

[Paraclete]

Hmm...I think to answer your original question...yes it is hard to find a girl that is a virgin, but if that's what your looking for I'm sure you will find one because if you seek God first I believe he will give you the desires of your heart...its your life so you can pick the kinda girl you want to spend your life with. so good luck in finding the girl of your dreams!

I agree with Shelsie, with one argument:
It kind of goes along with that saying, "Be careful what you wish (or ask) for... you just might get it." I'm not saying there is anything wrong with finding a virgin, but God may have had someone in store for you who would have given you more love and devotion than you could ever dream of--but you were so insistent on a virgin, you got that instead, and the relationship turned out to be less satisfactory than what God had planned for you. That's why it is a good practice to add "Thy will be done" to your prayers...

On another note:
Remember that the Bible draws a strong correlation between marriage and Christ with the Church. We are the bride, and he is the bridegroom. Well, the church is full of sinners, whom Christ redeemed. So, as such, we were the sleeeziest, most rebellious, and ugliest candidates for a mate (being measured against *God's* standards/ideals), but he loved us anyway, and wants to marry us and spend His life with us, forever. So, take it easy on the non-virgin gals. They're just people like everyone else, and people who need love and a good man to take care of them.

 

[Countrysword]

We are out there, but it's even harder to find a guy that has saved himself. That being said, people make mistakes, and it's best to forgive them. I have come to terms with the fact that I will probably have to marry a man who hasn't saved himself.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Dot, one thing I always wonder about with people who prefer virgins is.....

How will you that she is a virgin???

You're not going to be having sex, so how will you find this info out??

(Even if u have sex, there's no sure way to tell unless her 'gate' is still 'unopened', and I've learned that an open gate doesn't mean she's NOT a virgin)

 

[dothackzero]

Dot, one thing I always wonder about with people who prefer virgins is.....

How will you that she is a virgin???

You're not going to be having sex, so how will you find this info out??

(Even if u have sex, there's no sure way to tell unless her 'gate' is still 'unopened', and I've learned that an open gate doesn't mean she's NOT a virgin)

Yeah, I've heard of that too. But trust is important. Besides I feel like I need to keep saying I can forgive the fact that a girl had before marriage, it's just the fact that she's been with a guy in that way. Maybe I should marry an ex-Lesbian to prove my point.

 

[Ice00Man]

can i say - in my life i wanted a virgin wife !! and pursue it till i found one.
My story is simple - i was persistent in looking for a virgin that i end up in a 15year marriage without sex.

I'd rather spend my time now looking for an amazing girl who serve Christ 100%.

Don't fool yourself - the perfect girl - is the one who was washed clean by Christ !!