My wife wants to divorce me.

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Miagey86

Guest
#1
#1
Two months ago my wife came to me and said she wants a divorce. That really broke me. i know that I have not been perfect. But neither has she. Im trying everything possible to stop her from leaving me, but yesterday night she gave me her wedding ring, and left. On 25 12 2011 we lost our baby boy. There are so many factors that i don't know what to do any more. I really love my wife, and dont want to lose her. I have never prayed this hard and many times in my life as I have done in this last 4 months. At this stage im at the end. i don't want to live anymore. I feel that there is nothing left in this life for me. Lost my baby boy and my wife. :(
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#2
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
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#2
Don't give up!

You and your wife have gone through a very hard time over the past 5 months or so. She's hurting, you're hurting ....it's understandable that your marriage is under a strain.

Are you both Christians? If so, then seek the Holy Spirit to sustain you through this. And reach out to other Christians in your church. This is the sustaining power given to all believers.

If you're not...this is a good time to begin :)

You are much LOVED. Study and rest in the Word of God. He's waiting to help you, but you have to step toward Him. There is much comfort and guidance in Scripture....just open to one of the gospels and start reading and just say "God, please help me".

I will be praying for you and your wife. Have patience and calmness; He WILL guide you :)
 
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Miagey86

Guest
#3
#3
thank you Lucy. i do hope that we get pass this, but at this stage it looks like it's not going to happen.
 
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Marissa_ChildofGod

Guest
#4
#4
I know what you going through. I'm not at that point in my life where divorce occurs but I know there were many times where I thought it was the end of our marriage. He didn't leave me, but I felt he did because we can't be with eachother yet due to him not being legal in the states, Immigration has a hold of him and I haven't been with him for alittle over a month.I have a lawyer working on it,but money seems the issue to get him out , but I know God has everything under control. That day I cried my heart out, but knew God will take care of things and we will be back together. Don't loose the faith pray every moment. God is hearing you. There is a movie and book called fireproof please either read or see the movie. It will help you be closer to God.I'll keep you in my prayers. If you want to talk to me yahoo and or Skype id is marissagodschild. Don't loose hope and faith. God bless
 
Matthew4Jesus

Matthew4Jesus

Senior Member
#6
May 7, 2011
258
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#6
I am so sad for you right now :( You are in my prayers now, and my thoughts are with you my friend. It's hard sometimes, however, just remain steadfast in the Lord and he will guide you.
 
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jimsun

Guest
#7
#7
Hi Maigey;

I'm truly sorry that you find yourself in this position & I'm sorry to both of you for the loss of your baby. I won't bore you with the details but I really can sympathise & understand what you have both been through there.
Neither can I nor will I tell you what to do. I can only explain what I may do if I found myself in your position.
Firstly & most importantly you both have to know that your God is with you, looking over you & won't let any parting happen without causing you to fight for two people he obviously thought belonged together & therefore brought together.
I don't know how close both of you feel towards your Church pastor but I would feel that I must go to him, simply at first to mediate with a view to getting back together for it is from that position that repairing any cracks in your relationship. I say cracks because your marriage, I have no doubt is certainly able to be saved. Nothing that is worth saving is beyond redemption.
Please make your Pastor your first port of call even if at first you go alone as it is from there that the roads to save your marriage will open before you both.
Our Curate has a favourite saying; "Church isn't over til the fat lady sings". It may sound flippant but if you look beyond the mere words of this you will find a very clear & concise message. And I feel church, for you both is far from over.
Thoughts & prayers are with you both as I say that a couple's marriage & the vows that were taken with it is something worth fighting for tooth & nail.
God bless; J+
 
shemaiah

shemaiah

Senior Member
#8
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
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#8
I will be praying for your marriage. God bless
 
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nannyinky

Guest
#9
#9
my husband n i also lost a son but gods grace has brought us through this u have to pray to god to intervene in your lives n the uncertainty of your future is in gods hands let god n let god have it i promise u his will will be done trust him n have faith in his love ill keep u in my prayers
 
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GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#10
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#10
Why did she leave? Your loss must have put a great deal of stress on both of you and your marriage, even if you don't realize this. It can be very hard for a relationship to survive when something like this happens because both partners are suffering and if you don't find a way to get over it together it can bring alienation in the couple ( I heard once that the presence of the other partner who experienced the same loss is like a constant reminder of the loss suffered and thus it makes it harder to get over the pain). Maybe it would be good to have this in mind, maybe she just needs some time on her own - you could suggest it to her. Probably there are other issues too, but with love, understanding, patience and prayer things can change. May God answer your prayers the way He knows best!
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#11
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#11
Such pain! I am so sorry.

I am at the end of my life at 87 in May. In this long life I have sort of been there, done that, both joy and sorrow. In the midst of sorrow there is joy.

There was a bird that sang as my daughter’s coffin was being lowered!

God is so supreme that He can use the worst of happening to create good from them. We can’t see it in the middle of living through the tough times, but when you look back you find it. We have only to give ourselves to Him and trust.
 
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Miagey86

Guest
#12
#12
Thank you everyone. And just to re a sure you, I'm doing my everything to save my marriage. My wife is my everything.
 
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aprilandkeion

Guest
#13
#13
i can feel your pain i know how hard it is for you, life has so many trials sometimes we dont understand why is it happening to us but in the end it will make us stand and learn that no matter how difficult it is there will always be many reasons to live and smile...i pray for you and we care for you..
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#14
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#14
Remember that our view is limited. Imagine a large ball. One side of the ball is black, the other white. As a man stands in the middle holding the ball before two others standing facing each other, the ball in the middle, and asks them to tell him the color, they both say the color they see. One says the ball is black, the other white, and though they are both right, they are also both incorrect. Only God can see the entire picture. The man turns the ball and they each see that the ball is both black AND white. Then they understand.

Though you cannot see how God can save your marriage where you and she are currently standing, remember that God can see everything and He already knows the outcome and the reasons. Some day He will make it clear to you. To lose a child is one of the hardest things to face in this world. Due to abortion, we tend to turn a blind eye to the pain of miscarriage. The internal pain is overwhelming and devastating. I know a couple that lost their first child to a miscarriage. Unfortunately, the man had had this experience with another woman and she, being on medications, bounced back without appearing to have any issues. He expected this to happen with his fiancee as well. But, she couldn't understand why he wasn't at the hospital with her as she went through the loss. The process was difficult and healing was hard. Ultimately, they worked through it. I suggest Christian counseling with a counselor or a Pastor. Trust in the Lord. He will see you through. Remember that you have great value and worth and no matter how difficult the trial, you are loved more than words could ever express.

Remember also that God never touches our free will. God will speak and guide and lead and teach, but it is ultimately up to us to choose.
 
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violakat

Guest
#15
#15
Miagey, just to give you encouragement, I knew of a couple last year that it seemed like it was inevitable that they would get a divorce. I'm not sure of what the cause was, but from what I understood, and the impression I got, it was an extremely serious situation. It had gotten to the point where the husband left. However several weeks later, after prayer surrounding this family, they ended up deciding to restore their marriage. And right now, it looks as if it's going strong.

You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but God can. Put your life into His Hands, and let Him guide you. Let God heal you in this moment, and show you areas where you need to work on, such as your attitude, passions, whatever He brings to mind. At the same time, continually pray for your wife, that she will try and stay strong in God, and that her heart will heal. Also, that whatever barrier has been put up between the two of you, that God will destroy it.
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#16
Jul 7, 2011
175
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#16
Hi there Miagey86..

I'd just like to share some scripture with you.. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33. Getting back with your wife is your heart's desire yes? So I'd like to encourage you to seek God first.. Your marriage can't be fixed unless you make God the centre of it..Seek Him..I don't know what the end result of the greater picture will be..but God does..and He loves you so much..He will carry you through it all..You just need to turn to Him..Also, your life is NOT over..there is so much more to live for even if you can't see it now. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. Even though things seem really dark right now and like all hope is lost. It's not..because God is the God of the impossible.. He can turn ANY situation into good for those who love Him. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28


What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:9.. <--- There's still hope..Even though you and your wife have been through soooo much together..both of you hurting..and as for you little baby boy.. Don't be sad. He might not be on earth anymore with you, but he's in heaven right now with Jesus. I know it's sad and you miss him..but he's not lost forever..

I would suggest praying..maybe go to counseling together with your Pastor...and just keep seeking God more and more..Make Him the centre..the foundation.. I would also suggest you watch the movie Fireproof and perhaps get the Love Dare book too? The movie's really encouraging.... anyways I will keep you and your wife in prayer..
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#17
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#17
Miagey86 said:
Thank you everyone. And just to re a sure you, I'm doing my everything to save my marriage. My wife is my everything.
Click to expand...
Sorry, I know I've already posted, but I just saw this now.. I urge you to be careful.. Do everything to save your marriage yes..but do not make your wife an idol.. Only God should be your everything.. He's the ONLY one you need.. Never put anyone above Him..Not saying that you do..but just wanted to warn you because of the way you said that.
3. “You shall have no other gods before Me.
4. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;

Exodus 20:3-4


God bless you Miagey
 
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Miagey86

Guest
#18
#18
Well thank you every one. Especially Phia. Maybe the way I said it was wrong. But maybe it wasn't. At this stage of my life, I have made so many changes, and still i make mistakes. Even though, I still pray for God to heal us both and to bring us back together, if that is His will. But as for now my wife wants to know nothing, and doesn't want counseling. So I'll just keep on praying and hoping that she will heal and find happiness and love in her live. Even if it is not with me. I just feel the fact that we got married should stand for something. We made a promise to God that we will be together till death do us part, for better and for worst, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health. And this is one of the worst times, but I'm still there for my wife, even though she is not there and doesn't want to be there.
 
S

spirit

Guest
#19
#19
My brother had to get away from his ex-wife because she was too obsessed with her behaviour and having ocd did not help. Perhaps she just needs a bit of space to sort herself out. My husband has a dominering attitude and thinking about getting away from him so its not easy to make a decision like that. Even though there is pain, we have to think why it came to this and backtrack our life so we can do better in the future. All marriages are worth saving but unfortunatley I found out our values of a relationship maybe different and if thats the case it could even lead you to more misery. I would seek advice & ask for support so you don't have to deal with it alone and find out why she is doing this. Ask God for Guidance to make you stronger than before.God Bless
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#20
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#20
Miagey86 said:
Well thank you every one. Especially Phia. Maybe the way I said it was wrong. But maybe it wasn't. At this stage of my life, I have made so many changes, and still i make mistakes. Even though, I still pray for God to heal us both and to bring us back together, if that is His will. But as for now my wife wants to know nothing, and doesn't want counseling. So I'll just keep on praying and hoping that she will heal and find happiness and love in her live. Even if it is not with me. I just feel the fact that we got married should stand for something. We made a promise to God that we will be together till death do us part, for better and for worst, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health. And this is one of the worst times, but I'm still there for my wife, even though she is not there and doesn't want to be there.
Click to expand...

I would just like to say how awesome it is that you're so committed to not only saving your marriage, but also still so committed to your wife. Plus, we've all made mistakes..personally I still mess up..but it's only by the grace of God that I'm still moving forward, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

Also when it comes to your wife..just hand her over to God. Only He can change her and soften her heart. Because obviously she's still feeling things that she hasn't yet handed over to God herself..So just keep praying for her..Don't worry about it too..

Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.

Psalm 55:22


and


Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7
 
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