How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.

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Strong1 said:
By no means have I read through all of the posts here, but I've gone through enough to get the heart of the conversation.....so i'm thinking, what is the thought behind the OPs desire to have a virgin girl........I;m at a loss. The only thought that comes to mind is, he is a control freak, and is afraid of a woman who may know more than he does. :o Just saying.
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Let me put it this way, it's more the guys that girls have been with a lot more than the girl herself.



I think I freaking got it(With God's help most likely), I think has a lot to do with me being more of shy, insecure guy that doesn't want to share her(sexualy) with guys she's been in the past. Even if she hasn't been involved with them for years.

Mark 10:8
and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one.
 
dothackzero said:
Let me put it this way, it's more the guys that girls have been with a lot more than the girl herself.



I think I freaking got it(With God's help most likely), I think has a lot to do with me being more of shy, insecure guy that doesn't want to share her(sexualy) with guys she's been in the past. Even if she hasn't been involved with them for years.

Mark 10:8
and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one.
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Of course this is understandable and you have the right to desire oneness with your future wife.
But the realities of sin in the world is that not even two virgins who marry necessarily achieve oneness. Oneness is achieved when both place God as number one and each spouse has confessed their previous sexual sin to each other BEFORE they marry (not just intercourse but all sexual related sin history) and once confessed the two people forgive each other and never bring it up in a condemning or blaming way in the future again (clean slate). If the two people can't deal with it then they either call off the wedding and get biblical counselling or they call the whole relationship off.

When I met Steven here in these threads and after privately talking on MSN for a while (realising we both very much liked the other), we shared our sexual history quickly soon after. Its awkward but its best to deal with it straightaway. Neither of us were virgins when we finally married, a fact we both regret that we couldnt give that gift to each other technically speaking. But because we dealt with it quickly and thoroughly early in our relationship, when we married we had repented openly and we knew God forgave us and we forgave each other.

And as cheesy and cliched as it sounds, I certainly felt like a virgin again on my wedding night.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. - Eph 5:25-28.

This verse doesn't say that brides are presented to their groom as perfect. But that the groom (like Jesus)makes her perfect, by forgiving her sins based on the Word of God. And by forgiving her he is making her blemish free, like a virgin. Also remember that the second biggest command from Jesus is to love our neighbor as ourself, and verse 28 just rephrases that command but in a manner that represents the intimacy and covenant of marriage. Additionally the Holy Spirit enables us to extend grace to one another. I personally cannot erase the memory of giving my virginity to another and neither can my husband, but grace allows us to love each other at a biblical and spiritual level whereby those 'facts' are no longer relevant. Grace takes away jealousy, paranoia, and control.
 
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Once again, I fail to see why he needs to be rebuked. Him wanting to marry a virgin is not a sin. That's his preference. Also, I wonder how many people are really listening to what he is saying as opposed to just offering some kind of emotional reaction.
 
niceguyJ said:
Once again, I fail to see why he needs to be rebuked. Him wanting to marry a virgin is not a sin. That's his preference. Also, I wonder how many people are really listening to what he is saying as opposed to just offering some kind of emotional reaction.
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I dont think its bad what dothackzero wants, but its how he says it because he forget about all the qualities that are given from God that a woman can have, and instead of that, he is talking about women as if women were sexual objets and in almost all his posts he only shows his lack of respect for women (i think a consecuence of the porn that he watch)

But, i agree with Julliana, we cannot expect that someone mature in the way that we want or as fast as we would like, God is making his work on Dothackzero and God has his time, i think too that we are not perfect either so we cant be so hard-hearted with Dot but be patience with him.
 
I know what you mean when you say how hard it is to find a virigin... or just a nice girl with morals for that matter, our age. Where I last lived, which I lived there for my whole life up until a little less than a year ago, there was no such thing as a moral female. They exposed their bodies like they were tools they were proud to show off. It was disgusting. But now that I moved, I am older than most people in this town, in terms of the '''kids'''. We moved to a community that is nearby an Elementary school.. so I won't be expecting to find anyone my age here either. It sucks.
 
I mean I kind of understand where Dot is coming from. Though at my age I have realized unless I date much younger it will be tough finding a virgin and thats not a big deal. But I also dont want some one with previous partners in the 20's or higher for example. Just not the type of person I look for. Maybe its wrong of me, but everyone just has those things they look for.
 
I'm 28, still a virgin, only kissed one guy in my life that I wish I hadn't kissed. So we are out there.

I personally wouldn't mind if my future husband wasn't a virgin. I hope to love him as Christ loves me. But I think it's okay for you to have your preference.

"As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one" Romans 3:10
 
I didn't know I was hard to find... >.>

I know a whole group of virgin girls- who are in the twenties. You just gotta look in the right places.

Just be careful- sometimes girls my age think that being a virgin is some kind of burden or something getting in the way of them having a relationship(A lot of guys don't like to be the one to take the virginity but they want to fornicate). Just because someone is a virgin doesn't mean that they want to be. Those girls can be crazy bipolar and I can almost guarantee you that if you date a girl that wants to have sex but isn't 100% sure that she wants it is going to be hot an cold and your relationship could turn from getting to know one another to "are we going to do it or not?"
(has friends who are like this too)
 
Why have to think about it this way: do we really deserve it?
Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Someone had to die for us to be forgiven; should we really expect so much more?
I'm not telling you I think it's wrong to want a virgin, but sometimes we've got to get realistic.
 
OK--- I'm sorry.

But I don't think that expecting women to not be virgins is realistic. That thinking has an effect on girls who would be a virgin on their wedding day, but don't think that any guy will date them if they haven't done it yet. I HATE the effect it has had on some people I know, they trash themselves just because they're insecure about whether or not a guy will like them. I do not support it and am honestly upset that so many girls here seem to settle with that being the general rule of thumb.

It's not OK. This little "sexual revolution" we've been having does NOT make women more independent and more confident. It actually does the opposite. Do not ever give into this lie that most people sleep around by a certain age. People want you to believe it so that they can believe in it guilt free. They will do what it takes to tear down your standards because they don't want to or can't meet them.

So yeah- some people cannot start a relationship with someone they haven't slept with yet- but that is NOT the majority. If it seems to be, you are hanging around the wrong crowd.


Do we DESERVE to marry a virgin? No. But that is entirely the WRONG question. We deserve to burn in hell and never, ever get to be near God.

The right question is this; Why do you want a virgin?

Is it because you want a Godly woman? Then that is perfectly innocent and actually is good in nature. We should desire a perfect world because that is the world God created. (You can find a good, lasting relationship with non-virgins BTDUBs)

Is it because you're jealous of the other guys in her life? Then you really do need to go to God and talk to him about it because you are breaking his law in your heart. Don't need to give up on the virgin dream, but re-evaluate the reasons for wanting to marry one.

I think its good to have standards, but be careful to not to stick your head up your patootie and think little of non-virgins. God may have planned for you to marry someone who has led a not so sexually pure life. He's called righteous men, (you can read about the Prophet Hosea) to marry prostitutes before, mind you. We all make mistakes- and virgins are far from perfect.
 
Smudge said:
I think its good to have standards, but be careful to not to stick your head up your patootie and think little of non-virgins. God may have planned for you to marry someone who has led a not so sexually pure life. He's called righteous men, (you can read about the Prophet Hosea) to marry prostitutes before, mind you. We all make mistakes- and virgins are far from perfect.
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Actually, wanting a virgin is lot more of perfrence than a requirement. I mean, I can forgive the girl since I know that people do make mistakes. The real problem is that I just don't like the fact that a guy has been IN there.
 
I love your topic about virginity. As a Human Being " a true believer of GOD. It matter me most my virginity coz we need to be holy. You can rarely see those woman who are still virgin and I am so happy that there are few people who proclaimed that they were still virgin.
 
dothackzero said:
Actually, wanting a virgin is lot more of perfrence than a requirement. I mean, I can forgive the girl since I know that people do make mistakes. The real problem is that I just don't like the fact that a guy has been IN there.
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Lol, well its bound to happen sooner or later. Somebody is bound to be IN there lol
 
lets be serious regardless of whether or not someone has been 'in there'(which is terrible terminology btw) if she wants to be with you, why does it matter who she was with before? If she still wanted them she would probably still be with them. If you are worried about 'not measuring up', women will be turned away far far quicker by your lack of confidence than by any body issues you may be concerned about. People have messed up in the past, if you are going to judge girls on previous sexual partners, then I hope you are ready to receive the same level of scrutiny from them.
 
Look! I found a whole plane full of virgins! ^_^

virgin_america.jpg
 
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