Can someone really understand? or am I just said a side because people get annoyed..

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wanting2believe

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Can someone understand?
What if I did try? With all my heart. Well its not about trying its about doing. What if I did feverishly.
Put everything on God to lose everything.

I did, but what if I never felt happy? Every time I go to church.. I dont feel happy, every time I was at church I felt suffocated. Every time I would give my all, when I praised, I wasnt happy. Every time I prayed, I felt nothing and felt annoyed. Even when I would brake down because life was unfair and I would crawl to the Lord and prayed, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth. I just didnt feel happy. Every time I helped out the church I was not happy... ok never mind, I did feel a little relief only because I could understand what I was doing, and that was sometimes feeding the pour, and doing things for the needy and my heart goes to them because I understand to need. I was not happy because of the church.

When I was part of the youth group I wasnt happy either, I met wonderful people tho. Who tho didnt understand would pray for me, and for God to listen to my words. Yet there were plenty who isolated me, because I was not good enough, because they would see me more of the world. Yet I was never happy.

The only time I was happy was when I would read the bible, because it would make my morals stronger. Yet with time I also did not enjoy it either. My mind began to finally doubt if any of it had meaning? I never met or felt God. I want more, I need more yet no pastor, nor church would fill me up. Even the wisest of the followers would fall short.

So people tell me to seek God, and Im sorry if I get hard headed or if I were to snap, but I have and not once have I ever felt anything. With time I felt disappointment and I wouldn't enjoy doing anything for the Lord. So people tell me seek him even more.. and Im sorry I have to snap now after that? Why? because I understand even if I try my hardest I fall short, yet you are human and if you doubt my persistence and passion you must not understand when I say.. I did.. So can anybody understand?

Now if I try can anybody tell me what to do next? Maybe Im just not for God. All I want people to know that I have. Yet people think Im just here to make arguments and drama. NO! Im here because I want to have what you have, so if I have that blessing I dont have to consist of some other person. Because I do. I think the second best thing in life, is the love of a mutual partner. Yet I never seem to find it, why because God doesnt bless me with it? I then think that maybe its because He may think Im not putting him first, but to me the best thing in life would be, the true and only real love of God. I want to say, ok life is hard but God fills in the gaps.. but I cant because I dont feel joy.. maybe its just me and I should just give up..
 
I kinda understand where you are coming from. Church lately has been bitter for me as well and it's not because it's "church", it is the people and their whole attitude towards spiritual things. I've noticed that not many people care much about what goes on "in the big picture" if you know what i mean, and that has me frustrated. I cant seem to find anyone to speak with or fellowship with that is not ignorant of such matters.

The only thing that fills me up is reading the bible and praying, but i've noticed that the biggest impact is when you put the verses in action.

Dont worry, God KNOWS what you are going through and sooner or later He will reveal a door to you and you will recognize it
 
Okay, before I reply I want you to list every good thing you can remember that's happened to you.
 
Matthew4Jesus.. I feel an argument coming with you so I wont say anything lol because I do not need that. Idk feel pride in your question :) so no I wont answer that.

Gabriel I do understand, and actually its not that.. tho I do get that many churches, pastors and its people can be like that. I think that if I church is full of people like that then I would leave immediatly, and I actually have left churches because of that same problem.

Oh reading the bible is calming but with time it has become dull. Verses in action sounds like good advice, how do you do that?
 
One definition of insanity:
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to stop seeking God. However, if you want to feel happy, live out the Word. Rather, let Jesus live through you. This goes along with seeking God, however, it isn't only doing so. Like Gabriel said, it's putting the verses in action.

Do you know who you are in Christ?
The revelation of who you are in Jesus Christ is powerful, and also comforting while empowering :)
 
An article I read in Newsweek recently stated: "Forget the Church; Follow Jesus". While that may sound a bit brusque, I think it holds it's own in the principal of matter. I'm not belittling the Church - and I'm certainly not belittling your church nor your pastor, wanting2believe - rather, I'm proposing that you seek Him and be edified by His word. Church can be a good place to fellowship and be edified, but not always is attending church a must in somebody's spiritual walk.

You mentioned of all the things that provided you nothing, reading your Bible gave you some satisfaction. This is good! It goes to reinforce that you are not cynical towards God.

Now, if I may ask: Why did said things not make you happy? I believe musing on this will enlighten you, and possibly open your mind and heart. Furthermore, pray for an open mind and heart! And I will for you, as well. :)
 
Verses in action sounds like good advice, how do you do that?


I guess basically what I want to say, you can put the Gospel into action simply by displaying Love. In so doiing, you have fulfilled the Law of God.

God is Love = next time someone says something which irks you, pat them on the shoulder with a big happy smile and give them a compliment. Just do the opposite of their intent, but always in Love.

Love your enemies = that certain person who seems to make you want to "punch" them, next time you see they are in need of help, be the first one there to offer help.


P.S. I believe Miatthew wanted you to look at the good things in life instead of the bad. I think he had good intentions.
 
thanks again for your answers and concern :) I feel better today.. I slept good and Im not hungry at the moment.
http://christianchat.com/member.php?u=122558
Kyouken01 ? thats not the definition of insanity. Sorry dont want to take offense of it.. but I guess people would think I am insane then lol most people think Christians are insane lol

ok since I want learn tell me what am I To God.

oh I dont hate on people, I guess I dont love them? but I try to be kind to people, I wont deny that sometimes I do treat people bad.. but most of the time I try to be nice. Help out and try make them laugh. Be kind in simple words.

I know and I new what he was going to say that.. but idk sometimes to much pride on how people write so I rather not be mean.. and just be kind.
 
"ok since I want learn tell me what am I To God." haha i just posted a song on your other thread. ironic, since I haven't read this one yet. lol

I'm glad you're feeling better today :)
 
Can someone understand?
What if I did try? With all my heart. Well its not about trying its about doing. What if I did feverishly.
Put everything on God to lose everything.

I did, but what if I never felt happy? Every time I go to church.. I dont feel happy, every time I was at church I felt suffocated. Every time I would give my all, when I praised, I wasnt happy. Every time I prayed, I felt nothing and felt annoyed. Even when I would brake down because life was unfair and I would crawl to the Lord and prayed, I felt a bitter taste in my mouth. I just didnt feel happy. Every time I helped out the church I was not happy... ok never mind, I did feel a little relief only because I could understand what I was doing, and that was sometimes feeding the pour, and doing things for the needy and my heart goes to them because I understand to need. I was not happy because of the church.

When I was part of the youth group I wasnt happy either, I met wonderful people tho. Who tho didnt understand would pray for me, and for God to listen to my words. Yet there were plenty who isolated me, because I was not good enough, because they would see me more of the world. Yet I was never happy.

The only time I was happy was when I would read the bible, because it would make my morals stronger. Yet with time I also did not enjoy it either. My mind began to finally doubt if any of it had meaning? I never met or felt God. I want more, I need more yet no pastor, nor church would fill me up. Even the wisest of the followers would fall short.

So people tell me to seek God, and Im sorry if I get hard headed or if I were to snap, but I have and not once have I ever felt anything. With time I felt disappointment and I wouldn't enjoy doing anything for the Lord. So people tell me seek him even more.. and Im sorry I have to snap now after that? Why? because I understand even if I try my hardest I fall short, yet you are human and if you doubt my persistence and passion you must not understand when I say.. I did.. So can anybody understand?

Now if I try can anybody tell me what to do next? Maybe Im just not for God. All I want people to know that I have. Yet people think Im just here to make arguments and drama. NO! Im here because I want to have what you have, so if I have that blessing I dont have to consist of some other person. Because I do. I think the second best thing in life, is the love of a mutual partner. Yet I never seem to find it, why because God doesnt bless me with it? I then think that maybe its because He may think Im not putting him first, but to me the best thing in life would be, the true and only real love of God. I want to say, ok life is hard but God fills in the gaps.. but I cant because I dont feel joy.. maybe its just me and I should just give up..

Don't give up!

Its not just you.

I know what you are talking about but I also believe the cause is depression caused by an external spiritual enemy.

I don't want to sound crazy or totally freak you out.

I've had what I refer to as gray days. Days when the sun will be shining but all I feel like doing is crying. nothing seems to cheer me up. I pretend to be happy and joyful but deep down I know its just an act. I know in my heart something is not right and there is not the joy that should be there.

Instead of love, peace and happiness I feel only an emptiness. Most people who know me don't really see beyond the surface image I project to them.

Sometimes people say I'm giddy, foolish, shallow, trite and other terms that let me know that at least my mask is working that day.

I hear voices, yes it sounds weird but I recognize them now as not my own thoughts, which in the begining I thought it was just me and I thought WHY am I being so mean? Where did that snide remark come from? why is that thought so bitter and contentious?

You see most of the people in church forget or ignore that Jesus casts out demons and that we fight SPIRITUAL enemies through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

The Bible is not just a nice storybook to read. It is our Sword and many do not know what that means or how to use it.

For example if someone whispers that you are insane and the voices keep whispering it over and over again in your head.

Then remember God's promise and quote His word and pray.

here is the verse I use for that particular voice:

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


Also if they say you are worthless, useless and the promises are not for YOU, then read your BIble you will find other verses that show they lie. they will try and twist Bible scriptures to mean something they don't to make you doubt God's goodness and His love for you. They will try and steal your Joy or make you think you have none at all, but pray and remember this promise from God:

Luke 11


9 “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 11 If a son asks for bread[d] from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”

God bless and keep you.

I don't check this forum that much but if you like you can pm me. I'll add you to my prayer list :)
 
thanks again for your answers and concern :) I feel better today.. I slept good and Im not hungry at the moment.
http://christianchat.com/member.php?u=122558
Kyouken01 ? thats not the definition of insanity. Sorry dont want to take offense of it.. but I guess people would think I am insane then lol most people think Christians are insane lol

ok since I want learn tell me what am I To God.

oh I dont hate on people, I guess I dont love them? but I try to be kind to people, I wont deny that sometimes I do treat people bad.. but most of the time I try to be nice. Help out and try make them laugh. Be kind in simple words.

I know and I new what he was going to say that.. but idk sometimes to much pride on how people write so I rather not be mean.. and just be kind.

Nah, it's fine :D I think Albert Einstein said that or something. I have been insane before - if by that definition, anyways :P

For starters, you are in the Spirit.

Romans 8:9-11
"But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you."

You are a son of God. Adopted, but a son nonetheless :)
God sees you as a son of His (and God is your Father).
You are also a joint heir with Jesus. What you inherit is eternal life (man, what a gift!)!

Galatians 3:26
"For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus."

Romans 8:15-17
"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs - heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together."

You are righteous, clean, and holy.

1st Corinthians 6:11
"And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God."

Most importantly, you are saved, born again, and forgiven of all your sins. You have a Father-son relationship with the most high God (eternal life; John 3:16 and 17:3)!

You are righteous, clean, holy, a son, and a joint heir with Christ in Him. This is how God sees you. He's never mad or angry at you, and He will never rebuke you (Isaiah 54:9). He delights in talking with you, and He delights in you personally. He loves you, man :)

I've shared with you but a small portion of who you are in Jesus; there's also the authority you have in Him.
However, I believe the things I've shared to be essential for any Christian. Once we start understanding God's grace, it will empower us. It's a beginning to a wonderful future :)