waiting for, "The Will of God." ?

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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
We have the Bible, we have the law and the prophets. We have the word of God... for some this is not enough.




There is an attitude that exists in Christian dating circles and it makes me Sick. "If it happens it happens and if it doesn't then its not the will of God." Even in a relationship or even a marriage, they don't try, they just throw their hands in the air, shrug their shoulders, and say "my relationship failed, it just wasn't meant to be." Or, "It was just too hard, not that there was anything wrong with us but, I didn't feel like trying."

So here are three things I have to say about it.



1. God is not going to exact His will on you, whether you realized it or not. You have to choose to love or not to love, this is within your CONTROL. A relationship is like a plant, it will die if you allow it to.



2. God will not likely illuminate the choice of who you will marry with signs and prophecies. There will be no beam of light and no camels to water. You must decide for yourself who you WANT to be with. This choice is YOURS to make. Relinquishing this choice and praying to God does not remove you from the RESPONSIBILITY of making choices in your own best interest concerning relationships.



3. Life is not Disney, happily ever after is when Jesus comes back. Marriage is not the end of a struggle it is the start of an amazing adventure full of ecstasy and sorrow. It is not settling down, its successfully finding a permanent accomplice. Marriage is only the BEGINNING, a means, not an end.
 
I say this because I can ask a non-Christian out and there is no hokey superstitious mess to deal with.


I have never been in a long term committed relationship with someone who was a Christian when we started dating.


It is possible for two people to genuinely like each other and fall in love forever.
 
good going. i like your mindset. A relationship is the hardest challenge of all because there are two souls trying to be one. Two personalities that don't always mesh. You have to work on it for it to be successful. I myself have been struggling with what you say. I use to think that if its meant to be it will just work out. Then God started talking to my heart and I realized I have got to take responsibility for my happiness. Its work, its hard hard work to be in a relationship. When it is true love you are going to want to beat the crap outta them at times (just have the urge is all haha) and the other half of the time you love them to pieces. That is balance. When you go to bed each night and you hold them in your arms and it feels just right no matter if you fought or not...you got something worth holding onto. Too many people give up when love isnt what they expected it to be and eagerly move on to the next girl or guy looking for that fairy tale happiness that just really does not exist because we are all just human beings with faults. I say work on it. If something dies in the relationship rekindle that fire and be creative in doing it. It shows them that you do care. Dont give up. If something is worth having you have to FIGHT for it with every fiber of your being.
 
...There will be no beam of light
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*gasp!* ..............
(Sorry couldn't resist the parody) ;)

At any rate you are right on some of the notes, it's not fantasy. Lot's of trials and tribulations you must go through for sure... life isn't Hallmark you know? Everyone and their dog living happily ever after just doesn't seem to happen anymore. :P

However I think hoping for God's Will is all we should do in all phases of life. Even in the Lord's prayer it is made clear to ask that "Thy will be done". Sure we can try to make plans, and be outgoing - but God directs our path. Proverbs 27:1 Boast not yourself of tomorrow; for you know not what a day may bring forth.

IMO it will take a miracle to find "the one", and she won't be perfect. Just someone who is really serious about God's Word no matter what may come as consequence and is chaste and virtuous. Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. --- seriously... WHO?!

So yep, carry on with the thread. :)
 
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. ---seriously... WHO?!

God! For you, God not only can, 'will' is the operative word. No doubt about it. Sure, when its time, WE have to move but be sure you know that God, not you, ultimately directs your steps. Numerous references in proverbs alone, like 16:9 . We are to let God know , committing our plans to Him, and,we WILL have success, think that's paraphrasing 16:3, that there.

If you BELIEVE in God WITH NO DOUBT then what will happen, according to James 1 . Read it, you tell me. Take your life seriously with him, there is no doubt that the Lord leads ALL our lives.

With signs and prophecies even, dreams too, All that? Absolutely, IF your moving in His direction with your life committed to Him, His will will be done. The Lord leads. Our job is simple: Follow. :)

Liams, there's got be a reason why a handsome good feller like yourself, talkative, a real lady's man, cuz why, cuz you listen to the ladies on here. Why can't you go get into a relationship with a Christian girl instead of a non? Go for it. Whatever happens happens, I just think that your setting yourself up for belief FAIL (or fall, departation) by going with non-christian, and, an eternity seperated from God is forever and that's a really long...............
 
I firmly believe that God put my husband into my life.

However, we both had to recognize God's will and then COMPLY. Compliance means action...we had to see it through. We had to give it a chance. We had to put away our self-destructive inclinations and work hard to see what was so obvious to God- WHY we were a good match.

We didn't have the superficial things in common. By worldly standards, we don't fit. He's younger than me. I make significantly more money. We come from very different backgrounds and were on very different paths to the future. We also had very different ideas of how to be in relationships... he had pretty much no experience and I had a little too much.

It took time and effort to finally get it. I thought he was just there to make me a better person or something, but that's still selfishness talking. It took real work to keep at it and push aside all of those stupid things so we could see the truth and understand what God wanted for us and why. I do not believe God wants us together because he's my prince charming and I'm his princess and we're going to live in a fairy tale world of over the top romance... I believe He wants us together because we are an excellent recipe for creating children. We will be good parents together. It's a calling and we're answering.

I agree with the OP to some extent. You have to play an active role in your life! But don't be so prideful as to think you can do it alone, or even recognize what's best for you. God wants to be involved and He knows better!
 
No, life is not a fairytale and it is unlikely that God will put a wife/husband in a basket on the front lawn. We do need to be paying attention, and once we have prayed and sought God’s will for us and committed ourselves to marriage, we are to be just that..committed.

It has not been my experience that loving someone is a choice, but I do agree that whether we stay with someone or not once we’ve married them is a choice, whether we love them or not. While men are called in scripture to cherish their brides, I’ve found no such requirement for women (only submission and respect), but I would surely think it preferable. It certainly is mine. :)

While they may not always be lightning bolts, He will give us warnings/confirmations/leadings regarding relationships if the desire of our hearts is to seek His will. I can’t imagine that there are many of us who have not seen certain red flags or go signals regarding relationships. I’m thankful for them at this point in my life, but there have been times when I was far less than excited to see them. Even so, He works ALL things together for our good, whether we enjoy it or not.

We know from scripture of at least two people who were led by God to marry someone they weren’t thrilled about: The prophet who was to marry the harlot in the OT and Joseph who thought Mary had betrayed/shamed him in the NT. Seems like when this does happen, it’s for a higher purpose. When it happens in reverse and God makes it clear that we should not be with someone, it is usually for a higher purpose as well. Maybe it’s ALWAYS for a higher purpose, even when we don’t see it.

The bottom line is that we should never enter into marriage unless we know deep down that it’s right for us. If we have any doubts at all, we should take the time to explore them, as a marriage license won’t make them go away. If it’s right, what’s the rush? Won’t it still be right later? When it is right, I agree, it’s just the beginning of something amazing, no matter how it ends.

I will say that people who have been burned badly are usually far more gun shy and want to take their time regarding matters of the heart. One can be a very loving, romantic person who is all for love and taking risks, but prefer them to be calculated risks, not foolish ones. It’s a matter of perspective.


Then again, there are people who will use this as an excuse when they don't feel the same and are trying to spare someone's feelings... So many variables. After mulling it over, I don't know how we can say it's the same for everyone.
 
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rainacorn said:
I firmly believe that God put my husband into my life.

However, we both had to recognize God's will and then COMPLY. Compliance means action...we had to see it through. We had to give it a chance. We had to put away our self-destructive inclinations and work hard to see what was so obvious to God- WHY we were a good match.

We didn't have the superficial things in common. By worldly standards, we don't fit. He's younger than me. I make significantly more money. We come from very different backgrounds and were on very different paths to the future. We also had very different ideas of how to be in relationships... he had pretty much no experience and I had a little too much.

It took time and effort to finally get it. I thought he was just there to make me a better person or something, but that's still selfishness talking. It took real work to keep at it and push aside all of those stupid things so we could see the truth and understand what God wanted for us and why. I do not believe God wants us together because he's my prince charming and I'm his princess and we're going to live in a fairy tale world of over the top romance... I believe He wants us together because we are an excellent recipe for creating children. We will be good parents together. It's a calling and we're answering.

I agree with the OP to some extent. You have to play an active role in your life! But don't be so prideful as to think you can do it alone, or even recognize what's best for you. God wants to be involved and He knows better!
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Very well said.

The same can work in reverse. Before I married, there was a guy who seemed perfect in every way to ME. He loved me very much, but God made it clear to me that he was not the one for me. We both eventually married other people.

Looking back on it, I understand that while we were both believers, because of things we were going through at the time, we were not strong believers and would very likely have wandered away from God. As it turned out, we both married VERY strong believers who challenged us in this way and both of us had very loving, special marriages.

I understand it now and am very thankful, but I sure didn't like it at the time.
 
^^^^^This supports that "women use more words than men" thing, huh? :D ^^^^^
 
bahahahahahaha! I'm surprised the server let you get by with a post that short, Ritter :D
 
He did the minimum allowable, thus the 3 question marks. 10 character minimum.
 
Liamson said:

2. God will not likely illuminate the choice of who you will marry with signs and prophecies. There will be no beam of light and no camels to water. You must decide for yourself who you WANT to be with. This choice is YOURS to make. Relinquishing this choice and praying to God does not remove you from the RESPONSIBILITY of making choices in your own best interest concerning relationships.
Click to expand...


I agree with your points for the large part, but re there being no ray of light etc. Gods endorsement of a relationship does not have to be so blatantly obvious as those ways you suggested. I knew God endorsed my courting my husband because of the doors that were opened outside of my control to continue the relationship. When I met my husband here on CC, we had to prayerfully take the issue to the Lord and literally put the control in Gods hands really. For the relationship to get the thumbs up we needed major intervention from God re our finances which was really quite dire for both of us. Practically speaking if we were looking at the situation without God we would have dashed our hopes and remained online friends, but we had hope that God could do something. There was no hope in this natural world that we would get money full stop from anyone, but it came and we know without a doubt it came from God. Neither of us heard some kind of audible God voice saying "I approve of you two!" and neither did we have some great prophetic evangelist telling us God will was for us to marry. The confirmation we got were of the small blessings (other than the financial provision) that occurred that had a major impact later on.

The second thing which sounds so basic but we experienced it in such a wonderful way was the mutual blessing and support by our parents and families. That wasn't automatic, it wasn't love at first sight when my now husband had to face my scary mother and talk about his worth as a future husband. That was OUR effort and preparation. It sounds so whatever, but family blessings of a marriage these days feels so rare that when it does happen it feels positively supernatural.

I think its a two way street personally. Look at story of Ruth. God obviously led her to follow her mother in law, led her to exactly Boaz' field. But Ruth's action was being a faithful woman in action. She was hardworking, built a good reputation for herself despite being a widow from a pagan country, she didn't twiddle her thumbs expecting God to make Boaz propose to her without having to do anything.
 
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