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I can totally relate to that. It's usually never been guys around my age who tried to talk to me, but guys old enough to be my Dad or Grandpa (no thanks!!) The crazy thing is, when I was 17 and a 40-year-old tried to talk to me, it was like, yuck. And now if a 40-year-old tries to talk to me, I have to remember, "Oh shoot, that's in my age bracket now!!!"
I'm guessing you're a level-headed, mature person? A lot of older guys are attracted to younger women as it is (I think that some see it as a "second chance at youth", especially, for instance, if they were rejected in high school--many seem to think now they can attract the young pretty girls who never seemed to talk to them when they were younger--just a personal theory, and a younger woman (in age) who is responsible and easy to talk to is all the more alluring to them.
Has anyone else out there also found that older guys (at least in my case) seem to think they can "buy" you? I mean, they'll tell you what they could get for you or give you... I know a man is to provide for his household, but this is in more of a "I can impress her with my status in life and my wallet"-type vibe. I am not saying that all men are like this at all but I do believe that many men seem to think of women as just expensive toys that can be bought as long a they have enough cash (we have the strip clubs to thank for a lot of this mentality, I think.)
Just a few years ago, I had a guy old enough to be my Grandpa try to tell me where I work, "I could buy you jewels and cars..." I looked at him and said, "Sir, as you can see, I have a job. Anything I want or need, I can buy myself."
In my case, I think guys like that try to talk to me because they assume I'm foreign, don't speak English well, and am naive enough to be impressed by their pseudo-macho facade... And, everyone has their own taste. I have a good friend who, all her life, has been attracted to guys 10 and 20 years older but oddly enough, she wound up marrying a guy who is about 2 years younger.
Anyway, stand your ground, and best wishes!
I'm guessing you're a level-headed, mature person? A lot of older guys are attracted to younger women as it is (I think that some see it as a "second chance at youth", especially, for instance, if they were rejected in high school--many seem to think now they can attract the young pretty girls who never seemed to talk to them when they were younger--just a personal theory, and a younger woman (in age) who is responsible and easy to talk to is all the more alluring to them.
Has anyone else out there also found that older guys (at least in my case) seem to think they can "buy" you? I mean, they'll tell you what they could get for you or give you... I know a man is to provide for his household, but this is in more of a "I can impress her with my status in life and my wallet"-type vibe. I am not saying that all men are like this at all but I do believe that many men seem to think of women as just expensive toys that can be bought as long a they have enough cash (we have the strip clubs to thank for a lot of this mentality, I think.)
Just a few years ago, I had a guy old enough to be my Grandpa try to tell me where I work, "I could buy you jewels and cars..." I looked at him and said, "Sir, as you can see, I have a job. Anything I want or need, I can buy myself."
In my case, I think guys like that try to talk to me because they assume I'm foreign, don't speak English well, and am naive enough to be impressed by their pseudo-macho facade... And, everyone has their own taste. I have a good friend who, all her life, has been attracted to guys 10 and 20 years older but oddly enough, she wound up marrying a guy who is about 2 years younger.
Anyway, stand your ground, and best wishes!
A
I hear you. I am only attracted to guys born in the 1980s. I am willing to be "open minded" and date older but I have a strict age limit of when it comes to guys born before April 1978. That would put a guy at the same age or older than my brother-in-law and I could just NOT date a guy that wasn't younger than my brother-in-law. Now, I have been upfront about this in on-line profiles. Obviously it's not the first thing I mention, but I do mention it so older guys are left wondering when I don't e-mail them back.
The bottom line is, generally speaking, men like younger women. Some men assume that younger women like older men. In social psyc when we learned about what psychologists know about attraction, as men like beautiful women, women like men with money and older men tend to have more of it because they've been building their careers and fortunes for longer. Again, this is speaking generally.
Quite honestly, older men need to understand that I'm about as attracted to them as I am to women. Well, ok, that's a bit of an exageration. I can say that Brad Pitt is an attractive man, but if he wasn't a celebrity and he was a Christian living in my city and he asked me out I'd definitly turn him down based on his age alone. This would be the case if he was much younger, like if he was born in 1976. Sometimes I want to tell them that I find older men hitting on me about as creepy as they'd find older men hitting on them.
I've had older men give me a hard time for turning them down flat based on their age. But see I'm not really, because one of the things I look for in a guy is someone who can respect my wishes. So, men who are too old for me have either have read my profile and disregarded what I said thinking they could change my mind OR they haven't read my profile all the way through at all. Either way, that's not the kind of guy I'd want to get to know regardless of how old he is.
I always join at least two sites at a time. I don't have a ton of money but I make sacrifices in other ways if need be.
The bottom line is, generally speaking, men like younger women. Some men assume that younger women like older men. In social psyc when we learned about what psychologists know about attraction, as men like beautiful women, women like men with money and older men tend to have more of it because they've been building their careers and fortunes for longer. Again, this is speaking generally.
Quite honestly, older men need to understand that I'm about as attracted to them as I am to women. Well, ok, that's a bit of an exageration. I can say that Brad Pitt is an attractive man, but if he wasn't a celebrity and he was a Christian living in my city and he asked me out I'd definitly turn him down based on his age alone. This would be the case if he was much younger, like if he was born in 1976. Sometimes I want to tell them that I find older men hitting on me about as creepy as they'd find older men hitting on them.
I've had older men give me a hard time for turning them down flat based on their age. But see I'm not really, because one of the things I look for in a guy is someone who can respect my wishes. So, men who are too old for me have either have read my profile and disregarded what I said thinking they could change my mind OR they haven't read my profile all the way through at all. Either way, that's not the kind of guy I'd want to get to know regardless of how old he is.
I always join at least two sites at a time. I don't have a ton of money but I make sacrifices in other ways if need be.
@ Kakashi
Y
I've got this situation....my neightbor whom will be 51 this August and has a daughter in my Grad. class has always Hit on my and told pple I was his Girlfriend...He always tells me how much he likes me and that "I'm Gorgeous" ON WAY DIFFERENT TERMS! I'll be eighteen in two days and I'm seeking advice on how to handle this situation...I've told him several times before that I didn't like the way he talked to me and I even ignored him for months...My mom confronted him about the situation, but everytime he sees me, he continues on with the "compliments"
-what should I do?
-what should I do?
