Women, women, women....

[Perk]

There is a pattern in today's society, that many of you may have witnessed or experienced. I will explain it. In today's society (and likely in past societies) there is a trend for men to have numerous one-night stands with multiple women. THIS IS DEVASTATING! I have so many friends (who are female) that have been torn apart inside because they have been bedded by some guy and then he goes onto the another woman. I think (and women correct me if I am wrong) that this is probably more devastating for the woman than the man involved. Being promiscuous offers a false promise of love, nearness, and comfort. And then it is stripped away in the morning when the man leaves. I say to this, "IT IS AN ABOMINATION."

Men, I ask you to make a commitment with me. Make a commitment to pray for these women. Make a commitment to have to tolerance for these sins. Make a commitment to the male children you have or may have to raise them up in a Godly manner to respect their mothers, wives, friends. Lets stop being boys and grow into manhood! That is my prayer.

God Bless, Perk

 

[FireWire]

I would have to say that the women are letting them do this. Why? I can't really answer that. Is it few women doing this or many?

 

[Perk]

I would have to say that the women are letting them do this. Why? I can't really answer that. Is it few women doing this or many?

To be honest I don't know how many. I believe it must be a great deal. But even if it is women who are allowing this to happen, I think that as men, specifically men of Christ, we have a responsibility to not tolerate this. How do we not tolerate this? Through prayer. Through raising our children in a godly manner. Through committing to uphold Biblical standards for relationships.

 

[Justcuz]

From my own experience:
it's much easier for a woman to say NO than its is for a man.

Just think about it...

 

[Smudge]

Sexually we have more power to say no, but emotionally that is not exactly the truth. Some girls are open sexually though and not all are devastated.

One of my friends was on "my side" on terms of abstinence but her twin sister lowered her standards by telling her that she couldn't get a decent guy because she wasn't pretty enough.(Trying to justify her own actions) Telling her over and over that its normal for relationships to start with sex. So yeah- it can be devastating when you think the only way you can get a relationship is to give your whole body to a guy and then he just walks off with another girl. Even pretty girls can feel this way- we can be our worst enemy and can convince ourselves that we can't be treasured for just being us.

 

[Pheonix]

To be honest I don't know how many. I believe it must be a great deal. But even if it is women who are allowing this to happen, I think that as men, specifically men of Christ, we have a responsibility to not tolerate this. How do we not tolerate this? Through prayer. Through raising our children in a godly manner. Through committing to uphold Biblical standards for relationships.

MY question would be this... Are these men and women claiming to be born again christians? If so both should be ashamed of their behaviour. Even if its only one of the two that claims Christ, they should be ashamed and changed their ways. If not, then why are you attaching christian values onto people who don't even believe in God?

I do not behave in this manner because God says no!! Period. Plus I think it shows a really great lack of respect for the women in our lives.

 

[Jullianna]

Helen Gurley Brown died this week (of Cosmo magazine fame). She wrote a book years ago that had a tremendously negative impact upon young women and their virtue. It basically said - Hey the guys are all sleeping around with different women, so should we! Let's exercise our sexual freedom! .. Not realizing that such "freedom" becomes a bondage for both genders and has a very high price tag.

Christian or non-christian, it's still wrong outside the bonds of holy matrimony, male or female. When God says a thing is wrong, it's because He knows that it will either harm us or someone else. It's not for nothing.

Thank you for your respectful post, Perk. And thanks to the guys of this forum who, as a rule, treat women as godly men should.

 

[imperfection]

A romanian saying says: If the female cat doesn't raise her tail, the male cat won't jump on her...which means, if a girl doesn't allow a guy to get too close to her, he won't be able to do so (the normal standard).

I am a bit of a traditional type and I guess, I like the idea of a man chasing the woman he loves and I think that if you want to be chased by a guy, you have to be chase-able and not just play hard to get, but BE hard to get.

This didn't seem to be a problem in the past, but nowadays girls don't wait to be chased. They take every opportunity. It seems like they don't know anything about their value. EVERY GIRL, without exception is a princess and should be treated like that. God treats us, his daughters....like princesses.

I guess the reason why a lot of women let this things happen to them is because they lack something really important. Their first relationship with a man in their life: their own father. It is so important for a father to love his daughter and treat her like a princess because as a daddy, you are the first man that shows your daughter, how a woman must be treated.

My dad is a very harsh person and has never treated me very well....and I struggle with my self-esteem and when I had my first boyfriend, who treated me poorly (telling me I was fat, ugly and not so bright) I kept going with him because I thought that's the standard....that's normal, because I knew how my dad treated me and I knew how he treated my mom.

I only thank God that He has helped me and kept me pure and showed me that I am worth more than having a guy abuse me mentally. But I definitley feel with those broken girls that throw themselves in relationships or one-night-stands. They might look like uncaring b****** (sorry for the expression) but I know infact that they are broken and very sad.

So, I guess I'm happy to hear that there are still some guys on here that are concerned about this and that want to obey God in being the man they are supposed to be.

 

[TPK85]

Amen sister, you are 100% spot on! It is just the opposites with mothers and sons. That's why some girls and boys turnout the wrong way ( gay and lesbian, criminals, etc).

A Child Called "It" - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[BlueAngel]

A romanian saying says: If the female cat doesn't raise her tail, the male cat won't jump on her...which means, if a girl doesn't allow a guy to get too close to her, he won't be able to do so (the normal standard).

I am a bit of a traditional type and I guess, I like the idea of a man chasing the woman he loves and I think that if you want to be chased by a guy, you have to be chase-able and not just play hard to get, but BE hard to get.

This didn't seem to be a problem in the past, but nowadays girls don't wait to be chased. They take every opportunity. It seems like they don't know anything about their value. EVERY GIRL, without exception is a princess and should be treated like that. God treats us, his daughters....like princesses.

I guess the reason why a lot of women let this things happen to them is because they lack something really important. Their first relationship with a man in their life: their own father. It is so important for a father to love his daughter and treat her like a princess because as a daddy, you are the first man that shows your daughter, how a woman must be treated.

My dad is a very harsh person and has never treated me very well....and I struggle with my self-esteem and when I had my first boyfriend, who treated me poorly (telling me I was fat, ugly and not so bright) I kept going with him because I thought that's the standard....that's normal, because I knew how my dad treated me and I knew how he treated my mom.

I only thank God that He has helped me and kept me pure and showed me that I am worth more than having a guy abuse me mentally. But I definitley feel with those broken girls that throw themselves in relationships or one-night-stands. They might look like uncaring b****** (sorry for the expression) but I know infact that they are broken and very sad.

So, I guess I'm happy to hear that there are still some guys on here that are concerned about this and that want to obey God in being the man they are supposed to be.

I absolutely agree.

 

[ilavjesus]

i agree with you imperfection...

Thanks God,there are still genuine christian men who cares for christians women...just cant find one here in my place...

 

[FireWire]

Amen sister, you are 100% spot on! It is just the opposites with mothers and sons. That's why some girls and boys turnout the wrong way ( gay and lesbian, criminals, etc).

A Child Called "It" - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

No, this is because of sin and corruption. It's written all over in the Bible.

 

[kayem77]

Thanks for caring I love when men express their concern about these things. I don't know if it's worse for women, but I think it is more dangerous physically for women since we are weaker physically. Many times broken girls end up being abused physically, sexually and emotionally because of their bad choices and this leads them to a life of even more horrible bondages over the time.

 

[Perk]

There was another thread in here somewhere about men needing respect and women needing love. I wish I could quote from that thread, because in light of that thread, some of the consequences I've outlined in this thread are really exemplified (in a very negative way). Albeit, men need love as well, RESPECT is key. And there is no self-respect in a man sleeping around. So he is hurting his own respect. Secondly, women need to feel loved by their partner. Sex is ultimately an act of love. And if you do it out of love or out of the confines of marriage, you are constantly giving and taking away that love. I can imagine that for those of the female gender that is confusing, hurtful, dangerous, and just not loving. So yea, men respect yourselves and man up.

 

[Oncefallen]

Actually you can quote from other threads, it just isn't as easy as quoting from the same thread. I'm pretty sure this is the post you were talking about.

Being respected is one of the basic needs of men just like being loved is for women. This is why Paul admonishes men to love their wives and women to respect their husbands in Ephesians 5:21-33. Most women don't comprehend that a man needs the respect of his wife in the same way that she needs his love. Ladies think about it for a minute....how would you feel if you thought your husband didn't love you.....that's how he will feel if he thinks you don't respect him. I think the greater issue for men is not losing respect for their wives, but feeling as if they are not respected by their wives.

For those of you that are looking for reading material, Love and Respect by Dr Emerson Eggerichs goes into great detail about this subject. My folks who have been married for 47 years took a class based on the book a year ago and their comment was, "we wish we had known this 40 plus years ago, it would have saved us a lot of trouble."

 

[Perk]

Actually you can quote from other threads, it just isn't as easy as quoting from the same thread. I'm pretty sure this is the post you were talking about.

Did not know that thanks Oncefallen! How do I do so? And yes that is the correct quote.

 

[jamie26301]

MY question would be this... Are these men and women claiming to be born again christians? If so both should be ashamed of their behaviour. Even if its only one of the two that claims Christ, they should be ashamed and changed their ways. If not, then why are you attaching christian values onto people who don't even believe in God?

I do not behave in this manner because God says no!! Period. Plus I think it shows a really great lack of respect for the women in our lives.

You don't have to believe in God to have respect for the woman. To only have sex when you're genuinely interested is common decency.

 

[PopClick]

Did not know that thanks Oncefallen! How do I do so? And yes that is the correct quote.

I'm gonna answer for Oncefallen! If that bothers him, he can edit my post.

You can go to the post you want to quote and click the "MQ" button. Then go to the thread in which you want to post. Click "post reply". Then there will be an option below the text box that says, "you have selected a post that is not part of this thread. Quote this post as well, or deselect this post." Click "quote this post as well".

OR

Go to the post you want to quote. Click quote. Then copy all of the text in the text box... quote tags included. Go to the thread you want to post in, and paste the copied text into the reply box.

TA-DA!

 

[BlueAngel]

It is very hard for a woman to find a righteous man in these later days, and with the influences of the world, not only is it hard to find those men, but it's also hard to teach our sons to be those men... Not that it cannot be done.
Daughters need a special relationship with their fathers, because their fathers are what I like to call "Preperation-husbands" The way a young woman treats her father, is the way she will ultimately treat her husband. In learning to respect and love her father, through his imperfections, teaches her to love and respect her husband through his... the same is true for a mother and her son.
I know this to be true, I've seen the benefits of a father-daughter relationship, in my own relationship with my father, and a mother-son relationship, in the relationship between my fiance and his mother.
When/ If God blesses me with children, I hope to instill in them, the same parent-child relationships with them, and in so doing, teaching them self respect, and respect for others.

 

[Pheonix]

You don't have to believe in God to have respect for the woman. To only have sex when you're genuinely interested is common decency.

This is true yes, however if we did not believe that God was calling us to a higher standard then we quite likely would be just like the men and women described. Belief in God is key to understanding. Without God we are worse than animals.