I am really struggling with the knowledge that my 32 yr old son was molested and raped when he was a child by the a 'grandfather' .I have known about this for 2 years now and it really bothers me. This same man molested and raped a friend of my son's, too. That boy ended up comitting suicide! My son has had numerous health problems and food and pronogaphy addictions among other problems and has sought out counseling on his own.
My husband and I brought all 3 of our children up in the church and to have a relationship with Jesus and we were VERY careful about who our children were ever alone with. My oldest son, however, is from a previous marriage and there was joint custody so my son spent time away from me. This is when these terrible things happened. I really need help..probably professional help.
I'm uncertain what you're asking for help with. I read your request for help, and several things were disclosed, but you didn't mentioned what it is you're struggling with. Is it forgiveness? If so, who is it you desire to forgive and for what?
It's true that passions for certain things can be excited by individuals, but we are not obligated to continue in those lusts. So if your son is engaged in pornography it's because it's something his flesh desires/wants. Christ can set him free!
It's really encouraging to read how careful you and your husband were with your children. That's extremely encouraging! Some aren't as careful, unfortunately. But I can tell from this that your husband and you love your children.
I do fear that this recently revealed fact can have a negative impact on you. And what I mean by "negative impact" is it could lead you to not trust anyone. This may not be the direction you travel in, but we must acknowledge that it's a possible outcome. In response to the negative, know that there are faithful men in the world, although they are hard to find (Proverbs 20:6). There are wise people in the world who fear the LORD and depart from evil, who would probably challenge you in your love toward your child [If they were chosen by GOD to watch over your child's heart, they'd do some very exemplary things, instilling within the child conduct which would cause any parent to be amazed]. There does exist those people, but they are rare.
More commonly, however, exists those who are wicked. You don't have to go far to find a wicked man! Some individuals who love not the LORD, or keep His commands, abide in our very house! It is a sad, but true, statement. So it doesn't strike us as odd that a wicked person would do something so grotesque, but it does enrage us. The unrighteous deed inflames us with a holy anger against ungodliness. At the same time though, we greatly fear for the person, for GOD will punish the wicked: there will be a day when the ungodly will cry to the mountains and to the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the presence of Him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb." I can guarantee you that GOD hates sin to a much higher degree than we can ever hate it, and it is He who will "repay every man according to his deeds." (Matthew 16:27)
Therefore, knowing the fear of the LORD, we are exceedingly afraid for this person. The one who created Him is exceedingly angry, and if he doesn't find repentance before death finds Him, he will know GOD's anger. Earth and heaven will not hide him, for they will flee at the presence of the one who sits on the throne (Rev. 20:11). We'll behold one person after another stand before GOD's judgment seat: one will say, "Did we not prophesy in Your name?" Another will plead, "In Your name we cast out demons," and another, "In Your name we performed many miracles." But His reply will thunder, "I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS." To another the Lord will say, "Bind him hand and foot... there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
A minister once said, concerning the Day of Judgment, "This is the KING of kings, and He's the JUDGE of judges, and it's the Tribunal of tribunals, and there's no court of appeal after it. The verdict is final!"
On that day the realization of the never-ending torment the rebel will undergo for his offense will seem too enormous in your eyes, and you will mourn, thinking the judgment too great. But GOD's judgments are extremely high and perfect, and very just. This is going to come upon the wicked soon (whether he dies, or the LORD comes back). Soon he will stand before GOD and be judged.
Let us pray that the person who committed this offense would not be found outside of Christ. May Christ's blood cover all his sins and yours and mine. Amen.
