How important is it for you to date a virgin?

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SamIam said:
i am curious........ what would happen if god had prefrences... Kind of off the topic... I'm so glad he doesnt! Im so thankful he forgives me and takes me as just me.
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God has the preference that we don't sin, but of course we all do. Again, this is hitting a nerve I can tell, but I've saved myself and I'm not wrong for having done so and looking for someone who has.

God forgive me for wanting someone who has morals and integrity similar to my own.
 
chelsers said:
God has the preference that we don't sin, but of course we all do. Again, this is hitting a nerve I can tell, but I've saved myself and I'm not wrong for having done so and looking for someone who has.

God forgive me for wanting someone who has morals and integrity similar to my own.
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no your not wrong at all and i applaud you for doing so. not many have, and its a tough thing to do
 
SamIam said:
not sensitive so much as curious. But thank you for the apology
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I apologized that it's bothered you, but not that I have convictions. You're not curious though, you just want me to agree with you.
 
chelsers said:
I said what I said and I mean what I mean. Do you discriminate based on anything? Would you marry anyone? Of course you wouldn't.

I differentiate because I would like someone with whom I will be their first and they will be mine.

"It's incompatible logic in my view. I don't see it any different than saying, "I want a blonde wife," or "I want a rich husband."

So you're equating a physical attribute given by God to what is, whether people like to hear it or not, a sin. Pre-marital sex is a sin.

God forgives, I forgive, but I choose to be with someone who is a virgin unless God leads me otherwise. So far he has not.
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I don't like to think of it as "Who wouldn't I marry?" but more so as "What's the kind of girl I'd like to marry?" A minor distinction, but it's less negative. I'd like a Proverbs 31:10-31 wife, to be honest. Now, she may not be exactly like that, but you get the idea.

I'm glad you haven't ruled out non-virgin men entirely, it'd be a shame for you to miss out on a good guy because of that. I just think it's important to always critique our own expectations and say, "Is this God's expectation, or mine?"

I just find a lot of Christians tend to have a very Pharisaical view of virginity and sex. The power of the blood of the Lamb cleanses all sins, not just some.

Chels, the past isn't important, it's the present. IMO. I don't care if a girl was chaste or not when she was 15. That means nothing to me. What matters is that she is pure now.
 
chelsers said:
I apologized that it's bothered you, but not that I have convictions. You're not curious though, you just want me to agree with you.
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chelsers, im not sure what your talking about, ive never asked you to agree with me on anything, i have nothing further to say about this matter, You think as you will i think as i will..... Thats all. at the end of the day this is neither here nor there. and it doesnt need to be argued over...
 
I never really thought about like whether or not the guy i dated was a virgin. I was just always looking for someone to be with. But it wasn't until last year i started to pay attention to wanting to date a christian guy, i necessarily don't care if the person is virgin or not... but if that person could be my potential husband, then i DEFINATELY want that person to be a virgin.
 
Jordan9 said:
I don't like to think of it as "Who wouldn't I marry?" but more so as "What's the kind of girl I'd like to marry?" A minor distinction, but it's less negative. I'd like a Proverbs 31:10-31 wife, to be honest. Now, she may not be exactly like that, but you get the idea.

I'm glad you haven't ruled out non-virgin men entirely, it'd be a shame for you to miss out on a good guy because of that. I just think it's important to always critique our own expectations and say, "Is this God's expectation, or mine?"

I just find a lot of Christians tend to have a very Pharisaical view of virginity and sex. The power of the blood of the Lamb cleanses all sins, not just some.

Chels, the past isn't important, it's the present. IMO. I don't care if a girl was chaste or not when she was 15. That means nothing to me. What matters is that she is pure now.
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"What's the kind of girl I'd like to marry?" There's no difference between that Jord, than me saying "What kind of man would I like to marry?"

By the way, you mentioned that I would miss out on a lot of good guys well there are good guys who have saved themselves.

I don't have a Pharisaical view of virginity and sex and I resent you saying that. God forbids pre-marital sex so it's seems ridiculous that in here I'm being lambasted for how I have chosen to live my life and who I seek out as a potential husband.
 
SamIam said:
chelsers, im not sure what your talking about, ive never asked you to agree with me on anything, i have nothing further to say about this matter, You think as you will i think as i will..... Thats all. at the end of the day this is neither here nor there. and it doesnt need to be argued over...
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The thing is that we're talking about something that really is important, and, whether it was your intention, you came across as if you were mocking my beliefs. And if we're not here to discuss what matters, why are any of us here?
 
I want to find someone that really likes to be sarcastic.... ... I gotta have someone with a sense of humor.. I think thats the top of my list first being a christian theeen being funny... Funny girls are very rare these days... well excpet for you missy lol
 
You never met Holly Sam?????.......her nick was Jaylynn.......she was my bestest buddy in da whole world :)
 
SamIam said:
I want to find someone that really likes to be sarcastic.... ... I gotta have someone with a sense of humor.. I think thats the top of my list first being a christian theeen being funny... Funny girls are very rare these days... well excpet for you missy lol
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Is this a backhanded way of saying I didn't get that you were being sarcastic or that I'm just not humorous enough to get it?

I'm quite funny and quite sarcastic, but there's a time and a place for everything.
 
I would date someone who wasn't a virgin, if and only if he saw what he did as a major mistake, regretted it, and was committed to being pure this next time around. We all make mistakes, I just want someone who realizes that that isn't a light mistake to make.

But I also want someone who appreciates the fact that I'm still a virgin. I think alot of guys who have slipped up and made that mistake now belittle the importance of it.. maybe in an attempt to make themselves feel better, i don't know. But I don't want it to be marked as something insignificant. its very important to me.
 
I think the way you are living your life, Chelsers is very admirable and certainly the right way! It is also certainly not right to lambaste you if that was ever the intention.... We are all Christians.

However, one thing I would like to add or clarify is that it is also important to consider that not everyone was lucky enough to be saved early enough to think about theses questions. Not everyone had the privilege to know god from the moment they were born and thus do not necessarily know what is right and wrong. There are also several people that never heard from God before! If we Christians judge them for that then something can't be right either. Also, if we think of all the missionary services where people tell other people from God. We can't say "okay now you are a Christian but you are still not as good as we are and can't marry someone of us because you lived a sinful life before you became a Christian". I hope you get my point.

So for me, like everyone already said, it is important to understand that we are all sinners. Those of you that knew Jesus right from the start should be very thankful and understand that it is a great privilege. All sins are equal to God as we all now. It is only important to understand that, to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Like Jesus said in John 8 where a woman committed adultery: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her"..." I DO NOT condemn you; go and leave your life of sin".
 
Anja said:
I think the way you are living your life, Chelsers is very admirable and certainly the right way! It is also certainly not right to lambaste you if that was ever the intention.... We are all Christians.

However, one thing I would like to add or clarify is that it is also important to consider that not everyone was lucky enough to be saved early enough to think about theses questions. Not everyone had the privilege to know god from the moment they were born and thus do not necessarily know what is right and wrong. There are also several people that never heard from God before! If we Christians judge them for that then something can't be right either. Also, if we think of all the missionary services where people tell other people from God. We can't say "okay now you are a Christian but you are still not as good as we are and can't marry someone of us because you lived a sinful life before you became a Christian". I hope you get my point.

So for me, like everyone already said, it is important to understand that we are all sinners. Those of you that knew Jesus right from the start should be very thankful and understand that it is a great privilege. All sins are equal to God as we all now. It is only important to understand that, to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Like Jesus said in John 8 where a woman committed adultery: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her"..." I DO NOT condemn you; go and leave your life of sin".
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Thank you and God bless you.

This is the last thing I'm going to say because I've made my point clear.

I want to share with someone marriage the way God intended it. I have saved myself, not out of my own strength, but by God's. I recognized I was raised in a Godly home and I don't apologize for it. I'm very thankful and am very much aware that it is a privilege. My preference is to marry someone that I can share with them myself, mind, body and soul the way it was intended.

This isn't to say that those who have come to Christ later can't have successful marriages, that's not to say that you're not forgiven, of course you are.

I understand what you're saying, but I did say that it has nothing to do with condemnation and it has nothing to do with being better than anyone else. I get your point, but it really doesn't apply to anything I said or the views I hold. I did not condemn anyone, I truly feel that that's personal guilt that is being reflected off of what I said when in reality, I said nothing of the sort. That's something that I'll have to pray for you to be released from.

I understand fully that we are all sinners. If God brings a man into my life that is not a virgin I will pray about it and go where He leads.

I also understand that people are sensitive because of previous choices and life circumstances. That doesn't mean that I don't have a right to seek out a spouse who I can share this privilege with exclusively. You are forgiven by God, no doubt about it. All sins are equal in God's eyes, no doubt about it, but whether people like to hear it or not, you don't get your first time back. You are forgiven, but that doesn't mean that there aren't earthly consequences. It's not condemnation to have a preference for a virgin, again, that's personal guilt.

We are all Christians, but I was mocked for my beliefs and because of the Biblical nature of them, I felt it needed to be pointed out.
 
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