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J
I don't like to think of it as "Who wouldn't I marry?" but more so as "What's the kind of girl I'd like to marry?" A minor distinction, but it's less negative. I'd like a Proverbs 31:10-31 wife, to be honest. Now, she may not be exactly like that, but you get the idea.
I'm glad you haven't ruled out non-virgin men entirely, it'd be a shame for you to miss out on a good guy because of that. I just think it's important to always critique our own expectations and say, "Is this God's expectation, or mine?"
I just find a lot of Christians tend to have a very Pharisaical view of virginity and sex. The power of the blood of the Lamb cleanses all sins, not just some.
Chels, the past isn't important, it's the present. IMO. I don't care if a girl was chaste or not when she was 15. That means nothing to me. What matters is that she is pure now.
I'm glad you haven't ruled out non-virgin men entirely, it'd be a shame for you to miss out on a good guy because of that. I just think it's important to always critique our own expectations and say, "Is this God's expectation, or mine?"
I just find a lot of Christians tend to have a very Pharisaical view of virginity and sex. The power of the blood of the Lamb cleanses all sins, not just some.
Chels, the past isn't important, it's the present. IMO. I don't care if a girl was chaste or not when she was 15. That means nothing to me. What matters is that she is pure now.
P
I never really thought about like whether or not the guy i dated was a virgin. I was just always looking for someone to be with. But it wasn't until last year i started to pay attention to wanting to date a christian guy, i necessarily don't care if the person is virgin or not... but if that person could be my potential husband, then i DEFINATELY want that person to be a virgin.
C
"What's the kind of girl I'd like to marry?" There's no difference between that Jord, than me saying "What kind of man would I like to marry?"
By the way, you mentioned that I would miss out on a lot of good guys well there are good guys who have saved themselves.
I don't have a Pharisaical view of virginity and sex and I resent you saying that. God forbids pre-marital sex so it's seems ridiculous that in here I'm being lambasted for how I have chosen to live my life and who I seek out as a potential husband.
By the way, you mentioned that I would miss out on a lot of good guys well there are good guys who have saved themselves.
I don't have a Pharisaical view of virginity and sex and I resent you saying that. God forbids pre-marital sex so it's seems ridiculous that in here I'm being lambasted for how I have chosen to live my life and who I seek out as a potential husband.
A
I would date someone who wasn't a virgin, if and only if he saw what he did as a major mistake, regretted it, and was committed to being pure this next time around. We all make mistakes, I just want someone who realizes that that isn't a light mistake to make.
But I also want someone who appreciates the fact that I'm still a virgin. I think alot of guys who have slipped up and made that mistake now belittle the importance of it.. maybe in an attempt to make themselves feel better, i don't know. But I don't want it to be marked as something insignificant. its very important to me.
But I also want someone who appreciates the fact that I'm still a virgin. I think alot of guys who have slipped up and made that mistake now belittle the importance of it.. maybe in an attempt to make themselves feel better, i don't know. But I don't want it to be marked as something insignificant. its very important to me.
A
I think the way you are living your life, Chelsers is very admirable and certainly the right way! It is also certainly not right to lambaste you if that was ever the intention.... We are all Christians.
However, one thing I would like to add or clarify is that it is also important to consider that not everyone was lucky enough to be saved early enough to think about theses questions. Not everyone had the privilege to know god from the moment they were born and thus do not necessarily know what is right and wrong. There are also several people that never heard from God before! If we Christians judge them for that then something can't be right either. Also, if we think of all the missionary services where people tell other people from God. We can't say "okay now you are a Christian but you are still not as good as we are and can't marry someone of us because you lived a sinful life before you became a Christian". I hope you get my point.
So for me, like everyone already said, it is important to understand that we are all sinners. Those of you that knew Jesus right from the start should be very thankful and understand that it is a great privilege. All sins are equal to God as we all now. It is only important to understand that, to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Like Jesus said in John 8 where a woman committed adultery: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her"..." I DO NOT condemn you; go and leave your life of sin".
However, one thing I would like to add or clarify is that it is also important to consider that not everyone was lucky enough to be saved early enough to think about theses questions. Not everyone had the privilege to know god from the moment they were born and thus do not necessarily know what is right and wrong. There are also several people that never heard from God before! If we Christians judge them for that then something can't be right either. Also, if we think of all the missionary services where people tell other people from God. We can't say "okay now you are a Christian but you are still not as good as we are and can't marry someone of us because you lived a sinful life before you became a Christian". I hope you get my point.
So for me, like everyone already said, it is important to understand that we are all sinners. Those of you that knew Jesus right from the start should be very thankful and understand that it is a great privilege. All sins are equal to God as we all now. It is only important to understand that, to repent and ask God for forgiveness. Like Jesus said in John 8 where a woman committed adultery: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her"..." I DO NOT condemn you; go and leave your life of sin".
C
Thank you and God bless you.
This is the last thing I'm going to say because I've made my point clear.
I want to share with someone marriage the way God intended it. I have saved myself, not out of my own strength, but by God's. I recognized I was raised in a Godly home and I don't apologize for it. I'm very thankful and am very much aware that it is a privilege. My preference is to marry someone that I can share with them myself, mind, body and soul the way it was intended.
This isn't to say that those who have come to Christ later can't have successful marriages, that's not to say that you're not forgiven, of course you are.
I understand what you're saying, but I did say that it has nothing to do with condemnation and it has nothing to do with being better than anyone else. I get your point, but it really doesn't apply to anything I said or the views I hold. I did not condemn anyone, I truly feel that that's personal guilt that is being reflected off of what I said when in reality, I said nothing of the sort. That's something that I'll have to pray for you to be released from.
I understand fully that we are all sinners. If God brings a man into my life that is not a virgin I will pray about it and go where He leads.
I also understand that people are sensitive because of previous choices and life circumstances. That doesn't mean that I don't have a right to seek out a spouse who I can share this privilege with exclusively. You are forgiven by God, no doubt about it. All sins are equal in God's eyes, no doubt about it, but whether people like to hear it or not, you don't get your first time back. You are forgiven, but that doesn't mean that there aren't earthly consequences. It's not condemnation to have a preference for a virgin, again, that's personal guilt.
We are all Christians, but I was mocked for my beliefs and because of the Biblical nature of them, I felt it needed to be pointed out.
This is the last thing I'm going to say because I've made my point clear.
I want to share with someone marriage the way God intended it. I have saved myself, not out of my own strength, but by God's. I recognized I was raised in a Godly home and I don't apologize for it. I'm very thankful and am very much aware that it is a privilege. My preference is to marry someone that I can share with them myself, mind, body and soul the way it was intended.
This isn't to say that those who have come to Christ later can't have successful marriages, that's not to say that you're not forgiven, of course you are.
I understand what you're saying, but I did say that it has nothing to do with condemnation and it has nothing to do with being better than anyone else. I get your point, but it really doesn't apply to anything I said or the views I hold. I did not condemn anyone, I truly feel that that's personal guilt that is being reflected off of what I said when in reality, I said nothing of the sort. That's something that I'll have to pray for you to be released from.
I understand fully that we are all sinners. If God brings a man into my life that is not a virgin I will pray about it and go where He leads.
I also understand that people are sensitive because of previous choices and life circumstances. That doesn't mean that I don't have a right to seek out a spouse who I can share this privilege with exclusively. You are forgiven by God, no doubt about it. All sins are equal in God's eyes, no doubt about it, but whether people like to hear it or not, you don't get your first time back. You are forgiven, but that doesn't mean that there aren't earthly consequences. It's not condemnation to have a preference for a virgin, again, that's personal guilt.
We are all Christians, but I was mocked for my beliefs and because of the Biblical nature of them, I felt it needed to be pointed out.