Dating Application (What Do You Have to Offer?)

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
#1
Hey guys and gals,

We see a lot of threads such as, "'What are you looking for in someone?" and I loved Kakashi's "Dating Registration Form", so...

How about doing a reverse twist on this idea?

If YOU were filling out an application for a potential date, what would YOU tell them you have to offer?

It can be serious and/or humorous... tell us about what YOU have to offer a potential significant other. Think of it as posting your own dating advertisement.

Now could even be the time to reveal your secret super (or maybe not so secret, or not so super :) ) powers and talents! How can you go wrong? :)


So, I guess I'll try to start it out:

"Hi, I'm Kim... I'm a Christian, I've had a lot of experience with church classes and some ministry work, I'm going on my first missions trip in October... I'm financially stable, I have a good sense of humor (well, just don't ask the people on Christian Chat :)), I'm loyal, dependable, and faithful.

I also used to be able to cook pretty well back in the day (let's see, I'm dating myself... I guess the proper expression nowadays would be, 'I can really throw down in the kitchen, y'all!'

OH, and my super secret power (one of many! Ha!) is that I can kill spiders with my bare hands (reference to another thread.) Worms, frogs, toads, and mice, however, would be YOUR territory."
 
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chelsers

Guest
#2
Kim, you come up with the best threads!

Okay here goes...

My name's Chelsea, I'm a Christian and I'm on the fast track to world domination. It's a 9 1/2 step process. I'm very empathetic, a good listener and I'm never content with just being "good enough" especially in regards to my faith. I can cook and bake really well (blueberry muffins be my specialty), but I often burn myself. I'm highly ambitious and I have a uniquely sarcastic, snarky and delightful sense of humor. I'm a complex person, but in an interesting, never gets boring, charming, non annoying, sort of way. Oh and I keeps it real.

In regards to my super powers, it's a little think I like to call awesomeness. Yes, that's right, awesomeness.

Hooolllleerrrrrr
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
#3
Chel... if you're cutting world domination (usually a 12-step program, I'm told) into only 9 1/2... hmm. I see warning signs of perfectionism and a type A personality? :) (Which can be a very charming thing... all you guys out there who are into details and a woman who puts the FAST in "fast track"... be sure to drop her a line immediately.) :) This is a girl who can get things done!

"Snarky?" *laughs* Haven't heard that word in a while. Definitely catchy... will have to borrow it to "enhance" my own application, perhaps...

You wrote that you're good at cooking and baking, but often burn yourself... I have this image in my head of you serving some very lucky guy blueberry muffins after a romantic, spectacular candlelit dinner... but you're covered in bandages and splints from head to toe because of all the accidents!! :)

Just remember to take off the bandages before you make your first public appearance and speech of your "acceptance to take over the world." We might not take you as seriously if you're covered head-to-toe in Sponge Bob Band-aids, no matter HOW fast you took everything over.

Actually, you remind me of the the cartoon "Animaniacs"--"Pinky and the Brain"--the two little lab mice who wanted to take over the world (actually, it was only Brain... Pinky would ask questions [in his, I think, Australian accent] such as, "But Brain, what if the chickens don't want to wear underpants?") CLASSIC.

ANYWAYS, I digress--PLEASE CARRY ON, EVERYONE.

What do YOU have to offer a potential significant other???
 

Sharp

Senior Member
May 5, 2009
2,569
21
38
#4
Hi I'm Sharp. I've recently learnt how to use a dishwasher, and I'm currently undergoing iron training. I am willing to kill most animals provided they are not endangered species or attractive. I am able and willing to talk about my feelings and emotions if required, however only in relation to my feelings about machinery, weapons and football. You can take all my money but please leave me some. Will attend shopping trips if required. Will work on part-time/casual basis. Genuine offers only.
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#5
Hi I'm Sharp. I've recently learnt how to use a dishwasher, and I'm currently undergoing iron training. I am willing to kill most animals provided they are not endangered species or attractive. I am able and willing to talk about my feelings and emotions if required, however only in relation to my feelings about machinery, weapons and football. You can take all my money but please leave me some. Will attend shopping trips if required. Will work on part-time/casual basis. Genuine offers only.
FOOTBALL?????????????????? ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........:D
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#6
I like pina colada's (not really)......and taking walks in the rain.............
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
#7
Hi I'm Sharp. I've recently learnt how to use a dishwasher, and I'm currently undergoing iron training. I am willing to kill most animals provided they are not endangered species or attractive. I am able and willing to talk about my feelings and emotions if required, however only in relation to my feelings about machinery, weapons and football. You can take all my money but please leave me some. Will attend shopping trips if required. Will work on part-time/casual basis. Genuine offers only.

Well ladies, I think Sharp's application is DEFINITELY worth a second look... maybe even a callback :) . What do you think???

I mean, a guy who's willing to train with an iron, kill something unattractive and part of the general population, be willing to TALK about it and then go shopping... you can't get any better than that! :)

CARRY ON! :)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
#8
On a serious note, the other reason I started this thread is because, have you ever had someone tell you, "Oh, you would be just perfect for me."

BUT, why is it that they never seem to consider what THEY have to offer in return? God calls us to serve... and it just seems that all too often in relationships, it's all about, "What do I want? What am I looking for? What do I think is perfect for me in someone else?"

So, I wanted to see what other people think they have in themselves to offer someone else. I've asked God for someone I can be happy serving for the rest of my life. But, I'm asking that he be someone who won't abuse his authority... and has the heart of someone wanting to serve as well.

Anyway... on a lighter note... hmm.

*thinking of what else she has to offer* Um, I can (usually) remember my own name without having to have it sewn into my underwear?

There are days though...
 
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chelsers

Guest
#9
On a serious note, the other reason I started this thread is because, have you ever had someone tell you, "Oh, you would be just perfect for me."

BUT, why is it that they never seem to consider what THEY have to offer in return? God calls us to serve... and it just seems that all too often in relationships, it's all about, "What do I want? What am I looking for? What do I think is perfect for me in someone else?"

So, I wanted to see what other people think they have in themselves to offer someone else. I've asked God for someone I can be happy serving for the rest of my life. But, I'm asking that he be someone who won't abuse his authority... and has the heart of someone wanting to serve as well.

Anyway... on a lighter note... hmm.

*thinking of what else she has to offer* Um, I can (usually) remember my own name without having to have it sewn into my underwear?

There are days though...
That's very true.

You can remember your name without having it sewn on your underwear? Chalk one up for Kim!
 

Kakashi

Senior Member
Jan 3, 2007
626
2
0
36
#10
I like pina colada's (not really)......and taking walks in the rain.............
So do I! * nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!* XD, Ugh, once I get off work I will totally actually post my own thing inthis thread. Looks fun!
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#11
So do I! * nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!* XD, Ugh, once I get off work I will totally actually post my own thing inthis thread. Looks fun!
hehe.....:p.......can't wait ;)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
#12
Missy--*tries to remember the rest of the song*--so, are you asking us to meet you at a Bar Called O'Malley's... :) and cut through all the red tape... so we can fly off with you... and escape?



While I am usually pretty good at remembering my own name without having it sewn into my underwear, the days of the week can be a completely different story. (Hmm... if I marry someone who insists on wearing his "Thursday" underwear and I insist on wearing my "Tuesday" pair... and it's Friday... are we headed for big trouble???)

So... I can tell the days of the week... if I marry you and you have the sense to wear the right underwear... I think...
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#13
Missy--*tries to remember the rest of the song*--so, are you asking us to meet you at a Bar Called O'Malley's... :) and cut through all the red tape... so we can fly off with you... and escape?



While I am usually pretty good at remembering my own name without having it sewn into my underwear, the days of the week can be a completely different story. (Hmm... if I marry someone who insists on wearing his "Thursday" underwear and I insist on wearing my "Tuesday" pair... and it's Friday... are we headed for big trouble???)

So... I can tell the days of the week... if I marry you and you have the sense to wear the right underwear... I think...
lol.....I'm glad you said, when ya married....coz I was thinking how would ya check if he was wearing the right ones if ya just dating :p :p
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,676
5,590
113
#14
lol.....I'm glad you said, when ya married....coz I was thinking how would ya check if he was wearing the right ones if ya just dating :p :p

I do try to remember this is a Christian Forum :) . Believe it or not! Or else, I could insist he wear super-baggy pants with extremely high-waisted boxers that has the day embroidered on the waistband?


I have to admit though... if I met a totally scorching hot guy and let's say, he was serving at the soup kitchen and I found out he was a totally committed Christian and single and wanted to see a good blow-em-up action movie and was actually interested in talking to ME and not my friends...

My mind would blank out... and yes, I would forget the day and my own name. And if I didn't have my name written in my underwear...

Fortunately, I have a back-up.

It's called, my driver's license!! *fumbles with wallet*

Oh, I guess I can add that to my application:

I have my own car, a medium-blue PT Cruiser... though the people I work with ALWAYS make fun of it... one guys calls it the "Clown Mobile" ("Hey Kim, how many clowns can you fit into that thing?")

I drive... but the parallel parking will be ALL YOU!
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#15
I have my own teeth....that's gotta count for somethin' right?? :p
 
F

Fizz

Guest
#16
i'm new to this, i tried the chat but it kept saying denied, does any1 know y?
 
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cacordell1

Guest
#18
Chel... if you're cutting world domination (usually a 12-step program, I'm told) into only 9 1/2... hmm. I see warning signs of perfectionism and a type A personality? :) (Which can be a very charming thing... all you guys out there who are into details and a woman who puts the FAST in "fast track"... be sure to drop her a line immediately.) :) This is a girl who can get things done!

"Snarky?" *laughs* Haven't heard that word in a while. Definitely catchy... will have to borrow it to "enhance" my own application, perhaps...

You wrote that you're good at cooking and baking, but often burn yourself... I have this image in my head of you serving some very lucky guy blueberry muffins after a romantic, spectacular candlelit dinner... but you're covered in bandages and splints from head to toe because of all the accidents!! :)

Just remember to take off the bandages before you make your first public appearance and speech of your "acceptance to take over the world." We might not take you as seriously if you're covered head-to-toe in Sponge Bob Band-aids, no matter HOW fast you took everything over.

Actually, you remind me of the the cartoon "Animaniacs"--"Pinky and the Brain"--the two little lab mice who wanted to take over the world (actually, it was only Brain... Pinky would ask questions [in his, I think, Australian accent] such as, "But Brain, what if the chickens don't want to wear underpants?") CLASSIC.

ANYWAYS, I digress--PLEASE CARRY ON, EVERYONE.

What do YOU have to offer a potential significant other???
i love pinky and the brain. i can watch them all day
 
C

cacordell1

Guest
#19
I'll give this a shot. Hi my name is Chad. I'm a single dad of 3. I love to swim, and play board and card games. I'm a mean cook on the grill (which is also my superpower). I love to laugh and have fun. I can set at home and watch movies or go out and have fun too. I am very affectionate and i'm a great listener.
 
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missy2shoes

Guest
#20
awww that's real sweet :)