is he disrespectful?

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wwjd_kilden

Guest
#21
#21
Agree with the others, and I have a PS:

If sex is so amazing as they all say, isn't it better to save it for someone who is amazing? :)
As for what has or has not already happened: Past is past. Once you decide to put it behind you and follow God's lead, it cannot be held against you by anyone (or anything)
 
Jilly81

Jilly81

Senior Member
#22
Jan 16, 2011
2,367
138
63
#22
wwjd_kilden said:
If sex is so amazing as they all say, isn't it better to save it for someone who is amazing? :)
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Amen, Astrid :)!

BeautyGirl, please read some of the threads in the Singles' forum; you will see so many posts by guys here who would adore the girl who said "I'm going to ask God to help me make better decisions next time; I was too permissive this time". Plenty of guys know that a lot of girls have made mistakes in that area of life. The important thing is to ask Jesus for forgiveness. Ask God to put the correct thoughts in your head this time about how far to go. He doesn't want His children to feel guilty about NOT sinning like you've been recently; that's for sure. This REALLY matters; please don't sell yourself short, Sis :(.

One other thing; even if every guy left on the planet was only interested in sex, it's still so much more important to follow our wonderful Savior. Honestly, the more you seek Him and His approval, the easier it is to do His will in the first place, and generally other things won't matter to you as much either. I've found it to be so much easier to cope when I try to serve Him; He can make you feel loved and fulfilled beyond your wildest dreams, even without a husband :)! -Jill
 
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Jordache

Guest
#23
#23
It doesn't matter what "impression" you gave him. If you've changed your mind then you have the right to. He cannot force you to do anything. If you feel guilty, that's something you have to deal with. No one can make you feel guilty. You choose to accept the guilt. Many men are obsessed wth sex, but this is NOT a reason to just sleep with someone. If a man is bored with you because you don't sleep with him then kick him to the curb. Your sexuality is only a small part of who you are. Any man who gets bored because you won't put out only wants you to get off. You don't deserve that. You deserve to be valued for who you are in Christ, for you mind, your intelligence, your passions, your talents, your endeavors and accomplishments. You deserve to be treated as a whole person and not just a sum of body parts. You have to stop thinking ofyourself as some pleasure object for man. We objectify ourselves when we believe this.
Christian or not, sex is a big deal. Many people are in denial of just how much this affects their lives, but sex is a BIG deal because it is not just physical. No matter what the world says, you cannot just make sex a physical act. There is always two people... two spirits... two bodies... and two souls being united. It's devastating to your body because you are accepting the truth about who you are as a WHOLE person and not simply a sexual body. It's devastating to your self-esteem because you are desecrating the temple of the HS... our body. It is devastating to your walk with God because any time you embrace sin and deceit, you cannot embrace the truth of God.
 
RickyZ

RickyZ

Senior Member
#24
Sep 20, 2012
9,635
787
113
#24
What is it they say about men thinking of sex every 3 minu- oh sorry, I was distracted by the cute girl walking by. Anyway, as I was saying, men are programmed to think about it - oops, sorry, distracted again by a girl in a bikini in a commercial. But back to the subject, men are under intense pressue, both physically and by the world around them - oh by the way did you see the latest lap-band bilboard? Hot mama! Ok, I'll try to concentrate; society tells men if they're not 'hittin it' regularly there's something wrong with them - just a second, just got an email for a free month on some porn site... OK I'm back. ANYWAY, Men are under physical and societal pressures to do the nasty, and so they put women under pressure to do it with them (because doing it alone seems desperate).

Anyone who gives in to that is living in the world, not in Christ. Keep looking.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#25
#25
beautygirl said:
Thanks for all the replies. I guess I am doubting my decision because i think I did give him the wrong impression at the at start. but since then he knew how I felt but yet he did still carry on the way he did.

I am beginning think all men are sex obsessed and just want sex and I feel like i should have done it. I feel like now, no man will ever respect me for my decisions and will not stay in a relationship without sex, Christian or not. I guess i am doubting that there are decent men out there who will actually respect me and be able to have some self control and not constantly talking about sex to me, or trying to get my clothes off!!!

The way he acted and the things he said have actually made me feel guilty for not having sex with him. and the worrying thing is i don't even no if i regret doing things for him now, coz he has made me feel like its ok to do this, like sex is no big deal. I nearly feel like it is a necessity in a relationship, either that or they get bored. But now i know completely know in my heart that he is the wrong guy for me i definitely wouldn't want to go any further with him. so christian men is sex a big deal like it is for woman?
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You have it backwards. If a man is not willing to honor both you and God and His commands then he is not worth you time. You deserve better than that. Satan has gained a foothold in your thoughts through this man, so you need to dig into your bible and get your mind renewed and your spirit strengthened.

Also, let me tell you right now, while there may be a lot of sex obsessed men, please do not lump all men into this category. There are good men out there, and honestly, it kind of tears us down because we keep hearing how bad 'men' are (not some men, just 'men'). There are roughly over 3 billion men on the planet, you really think the small handful you've dated reflect all 3 billion other men?
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#26
#26
My first reaction after reading your post is

Why, if you know he is just trying to have sex with you are you getting on his bed with him and going in his bedroom?
And why are you and him even messing around?

Your sending him mixed signals. I'll lay on your bed and get all touchy touchy with you, but no sex. Come on now.

He needs to get away from you as much as you need to get away from him.
 
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See_KING_Truth

Guest
#27
#27
This guy is using manipulation on you and it appears to be working. He wants you to feel guilty for not having sex with him, but trust me, the guilt of compromising on values that you hold dear will be much more than any guilt he can put on you for not having sex. Take it from somebody who was tempted into having premarital sex. It has been almost 6 years and I still regret not saving myself for marriage. Do you not think that he knows exactly what he is doing? I suggest doing like everybody else in this thread has said and get away ASAP.
 
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alienx7587

alienx7587

Senior Member
#28
Jul 10, 2011
182
4
18
#28
First, I'm sure you weren't doing it intentionally, but as Nodmyheadlikeyeah was saying, don't tempt him. I really like the way Ugly said it: remove this creep from every aspect of your life and move on! It might even be a good thing to learn a little humility and approach church leaders about what's going on.

Do what you KNOW is right, not what you 'feel' is right. You KNOW that man is NOT going to treat you with dignity and respect! Remove yourself from the situation!
 
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