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Me234
Guest
What do you all think about Friends to Marriage concept rather than boy / girl friends relationship concept ?
Is it a Good idea or not.
Is it a Good idea or not.
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I'm not familiar with this concept. Is it just about labels, or is there some significantly different behavior involved?
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Ugly
Guest
My old youth group used to teach this. In fact two of their leaders actually married in this fashion. I think it can be wise, but can be tricky too. It requires a LOT of faith, and you REALLY need to be able to hear from God clearly in your walk, otherwise you could be setting yourself for a potentially bad problem by not getting to see how someone acts in certain settings.
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Ugly
Guest
Its where you don't date. You are just friends, you'll know you feel an attraction for each other, but avoid the 'dating, holding hands, kissing, going out alone, etc..' aspect and conduct yourself as platonic friends, but the end result is to go from platonic friendship into marriage.
Thanks for explaining, Ugly.
Do you know what the proposed benefits/pros of it are? Is it mainly to avoid the temptations that come with dating and being a couple?
Do you know what the proposed benefits/pros of it are? Is it mainly to avoid the temptations that come with dating and being a couple?
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adekruif
Guest
One of the major benefits of it that I see are you actually get to know somebody before either of you has feelings for the other. It's easy to put on a facade for a while, or to change for somebody, but if you know somebody before they have feelings for you, or you for them, it makes for less surprises. As Ugly mentioned it does take allot of faith and prayer, and council from people around you.
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Ugly
Guest
Well, for one thing, you are never alone, so you remove all sexual temptation. It also avoids bouncing around relationships, getting heartbroken over and over.
I think those are the main two reasons, but i'm sure they may be others.
Sorry i took so long to respond, i've been sick and wasn't on CC for days.
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NukePooch
Guest
^^^ This.
I agree. When you meet someone new, it can take a long time to find out that they have 8,274 ceramic clowns in their apartment, that they're mean to children, they hate all pets, they blindly believe every single thing that their preacher tells them, and that they're $198,283 in debt (mostly ceramic clown related).
Being friends first can help you find out some of the potential rough spots before being in a relationship.
Wait a minute, Nuke.
What the heck do you have against ceramic clowns? Those puppies are COLLECTOR'S PIECES, I'm telling you. An investment in our future!! I mean, we're friends, right? And here I was thinking we were going to get married next week and invite everyone from CC over for nachos.
Of course, this would have only been AFTER you'd memorized the NAMES of all my 8,274 ceramic clowns... ("Psycho" is my favorite...)
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NukePooch
Guest
Wait a minute, Nuke.
What the heck do you have against ceramic clowns? Those puppies are COLLECTOR'S PIECES, I'm telling you. An investment in our future!! I mean, we're friends, right? And here I was thinking we were going to get married next week and invite everyone from CC over for nachos.
Of course, this would have only been AFTER you'd memorized the NAMES of all my 8,274 ceramic clowns... ("Psycho" is my favorite...)
Mmmm..nachos. Okay, you win.
Psycho
Cutie
Greg
Syphilis
Gertrude Steinbeck Rothschilde I
Gertrude Steinbeck Rothschilde II
Gertrude Steinbeck Rothschilde IV
Kim
Harry
Bocephus
(I'll send the rest in a PM)
I can see where we'll already have to go back for a little review.
She isn't named "Kim", but rather, "Lil' Kim", aka, "Mini Me."
And you forgot my other favorites:
Nuke
Aaron
Pooch
An incomplete list from a prospective marriage applicant is simply unacceptable! (Unlimited nachos, Nuke... I know you're going to want to try a little harder...
)You know a girl likes you whens he names THREE of her favorite ceramic clowns after you!!
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NukePooch
Guest
I can see where we'll already have to go back for a little review.
She isn't named "Kim", but rather, "Lil' Kim", aka, "Mini Me."
And you forgot my other favorites:
Nuke
Aaron
Pooch
An incomplete list from a prospective marriage applicant is simply unacceptable! (Unlimited nachos, Nuke... I know you're going to want to try a little harder...
You know a girl likes you whens he names THREE of her favorite ceramic clowns after you!!
I thought the ones named after me accidentally were damaged when I left the forum years back. I seem to remember that they fell off of the counter, flew across the room, and hit the wall. Four times.
I feel like the best and most natural progression holds to a combination of all three. It tends to be (not always, but often) that you meet. After meeting you decide whether or not to continue meeting/build a friendship. Once you build a friendship, you generally decide whether or not you want more.
If you do, then you act on building a romantic relationship (dating). Once you do, you decide whether you want more (marriage), and act on that. If you both liked each other enough to meet, become friends, date, and still want to go deeper in relationship for life...then you get married. The journey grows and continues from there...
To me, that just seems common, and makes sense. I know there are other models people go by, but this works for me.
Sorry for the double post, but I felt it necessary to add that as Christians, we should all seek God out in this process. I'm not one to believe that you just go out and match up with whoever, but I'm not a 'soul mate' follower either. I think there are many God would be pleased to have find each other in life. It's just the difficult road of waiting and dating to get there that we face...
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Eileanna
Guest
It's a great idea to start off being a friend. I have been told from people who I know that have been married a long time, what helped keep their marriage together is they didn't marry for the intimacy, the sexual part of it. If you take that away and there's not much left, what do you have? If you're friends first though, you can understand each other on a completely new level and build that trust up without having all the fears and doubts that come along with rushing into a marriage. That's my own opinion anyway 