I have something to confess. I'm a 21 year old Christian male, and I'm doing something that many would consider "not waiting for God's timing"... I have an account on a Christian dating site.
Maybe it's because I wasn't raised in a Christian household, or because I wasn't told about "waiting on God's timing" as a youngster, but I just don't understand the whole "wait on God" mentality I often see in the Christian Singles section. Allow me to explain what I mean.
From what I've gathered, it's common to tell teens and young adults in the church to wait before getting involved in dating. When a person is a teenager, that's certainly credible. Let's face it, teen relationships just don't last all that long. Some do, but it's an exception and not the rule. Plus, during that age range a lot of drama and sex-related issues can occur. Having stayed single for most of my teen years, I avoided a whole lot of headaches that my peers who were in and out of relationships went through. Yet this seems to have turned into a sort of passivity among young Christians. "I'm not interested in dating," I read people say. Then in the same breath they add, "I'm waiting for God to bring the right man/woman into my life." And this, I think, is where the problem comes in. Young Christians are being told not to date, and to see the opposite gender as "brothers and sisters" in Christ. The result seems to be a paradoxial disinterest in finding a mate. Then they wonder why the years go by and they remain single.
Pardon my ignorance, but I must ask. I've noticed there are a lot of 30 and 40-somethings that are single. Perhaps they've had previous marriages that I'm not aware of. If you are of that age range, is it because you've never married and are still "waiting"? I respect your decision, of course, but I have trouble understanding it.
As the title goes, what exactly are you waiting for? The Perfect Mate to walk into your life? The notion that God will maneuver your life events to bring one special person to be your mate is nowhere to be found in the Bible. I'd also daresay it's borderline Calvinist, so I'd be surprised if anyone who isn't, say, Baptist or Presbyterian, believed it. Indeed, it seems that people who commit themselves to being inactive about finding a spouse will simply find themselves... without a spouse. That, and, I have a hard time believing there is such thing as that "one special perfect person" for me. Does God know who I will marry? Of course. Does he decide who I will marry? I'm not a Calvinist, so no. And what about when you do meet that "special someone"? Do you suddenly start get interested in dating? What if that "special someone" turns out to not be so special?
My belief is that God doesn't necessarily want us to sit around and twiddle our thumbs. Rather, we need to take the initiative. But it feels like I'm in the minority. And I'd like to get input from the opposite group. Wait are you waiting for? Why should I wait until the "right person" is in my life? How do I know it's the "right person"? Things of that nature.
(PS if I sound harsh, I apologize. I don't mean to, I just want to be direct about what's on my mind. I've wanted to post this for a long time, but haven't found the right words to express my thoughts.)
Maybe it's because I wasn't raised in a Christian household, or because I wasn't told about "waiting on God's timing" as a youngster, but I just don't understand the whole "wait on God" mentality I often see in the Christian Singles section. Allow me to explain what I mean.
From what I've gathered, it's common to tell teens and young adults in the church to wait before getting involved in dating. When a person is a teenager, that's certainly credible. Let's face it, teen relationships just don't last all that long. Some do, but it's an exception and not the rule. Plus, during that age range a lot of drama and sex-related issues can occur. Having stayed single for most of my teen years, I avoided a whole lot of headaches that my peers who were in and out of relationships went through. Yet this seems to have turned into a sort of passivity among young Christians. "I'm not interested in dating," I read people say. Then in the same breath they add, "I'm waiting for God to bring the right man/woman into my life." And this, I think, is where the problem comes in. Young Christians are being told not to date, and to see the opposite gender as "brothers and sisters" in Christ. The result seems to be a paradoxial disinterest in finding a mate. Then they wonder why the years go by and they remain single.
Pardon my ignorance, but I must ask. I've noticed there are a lot of 30 and 40-somethings that are single. Perhaps they've had previous marriages that I'm not aware of. If you are of that age range, is it because you've never married and are still "waiting"? I respect your decision, of course, but I have trouble understanding it.
As the title goes, what exactly are you waiting for? The Perfect Mate to walk into your life? The notion that God will maneuver your life events to bring one special person to be your mate is nowhere to be found in the Bible. I'd also daresay it's borderline Calvinist, so I'd be surprised if anyone who isn't, say, Baptist or Presbyterian, believed it. Indeed, it seems that people who commit themselves to being inactive about finding a spouse will simply find themselves... without a spouse. That, and, I have a hard time believing there is such thing as that "one special perfect person" for me. Does God know who I will marry? Of course. Does he decide who I will marry? I'm not a Calvinist, so no. And what about when you do meet that "special someone"? Do you suddenly start get interested in dating? What if that "special someone" turns out to not be so special?
My belief is that God doesn't necessarily want us to sit around and twiddle our thumbs. Rather, we need to take the initiative. But it feels like I'm in the minority. And I'd like to get input from the opposite group. Wait are you waiting for? Why should I wait until the "right person" is in my life? How do I know it's the "right person"? Things of that nature.
(PS if I sound harsh, I apologize. I don't mean to, I just want to be direct about what's on my mind. I've wanted to post this for a long time, but haven't found the right words to express my thoughts.)
