Inappropriate Guilt

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I get asked at the gas station next to where I work and I say yes I have change and no you can't have it. Sorry I don't feel bad. Do I give yes but often never to person asking at the gas station.
 
arwen83 said:
I had an experience of this guilt this past summer, that brang me to tears with confliction. One Sunday night around midnight, I was walking home from a bus stop which is about a 20 minute walk from campus. My cell phone was broken at the time, but would pretend to be talking on my phone if ever I am walking late at night. (its kind of funny trying to come up with conversations with yourself haha) For some reason it makes me feel secure.

There was this fellow that was sitting in a bus shelter, he had baggy jeans and a dark long t-shirt and one of those gangster looking baseball caps, he asked if he could use my cell phone. Well I technically wasn't using it, but I kind of played it off and kept walking. 5 minutes later, tears are running down my cheeks as that "to the lease of these...I asked and you did not give" verse was running through my mind. And I am talking to God. If that guy had intentions of hurting me, no one would have been around to help, and the reality of the situation (and my past experience) is that God doesn't always intervene.

So I saw it this way: I cannot trust that guy won't hurt me, I cannot trust that God will protect me from any harm, the only person I can trust is myself and my decision. But yet I wondered, should I have helped him out anyway? Regardless of putting myself in potential danger? Is that something that I am called to do? And I really don't know.
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I would have done the exact same thing. Safety should always come first.
 
Jordache said:
One day I'm going to say "sorry I don't have money, but can I pray for you?"
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Please don't say that, Jordache. I heard a pastor preach a whole sermon on that very saying because he lived as a homeless person for like 2 months just as an experiment and he would ask the people from the local church for money for food and they would always tell him exactly what you quoted and he said he knew that these folks were mostly well-off because he knew that church and the experience really disturbed him.
 
Well, zero... You could say it as an excuse, or you could do it out of compassion. In all actuality, I tend to avoid homeless people because they tend to be men.
 
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The pastor said that he felt very patronized by them when they claimed to have no money but said they'd pray for him. He hadn't eaten in days and was very hungry.
 
One thing I used to do (and have since forgotten to) is to always keep a few dollar bills in my wallet in case I run into someone who needs money. After I encountered the homeless man at Wendys I actually promised God that I would never refuse to give to a homeless person on the street. I've actually broken that promise a few times since then for various reasons (didn't have money on me, etc..), but I usually ask for forgiveness afterward.

If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. - Deuteronomy 15:7
 
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Thanks for sharing that Zero. Regarding giving and Christianity....
The social enterprise of paying for the next person practice sometimes heard... "Oh yes,I love giving, this morning I paid for the lattes/cheeseburgers/smoothies for the car behind me, I believe it's important to practice charity!" :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
One time I was in the drive thru and was led to buy extra food I didn't need. As I exited there was a man who said he'd been out job hunting all day and was starving. He didn't want money but food. As I handed him the extra bag I said "that must be why God told me to buy this".

I won't give out money or lend my phone but I will buy food for people.
 
That's horrible zero, but considering I haven't had an income since September I could really only say it from the heart... I truly have nothing to give.
When my dad was on his death bed I was tormented because I knew he didn't want to die, but I had to say things that only reminded him he was not getting up this time. Like I said I was tormented, and I cried out to God because I really felt like I was tormenting him. And the Lords and answer was that verse in Acts 2. We are called to serve and give under the guidance of The Lord, but in any case all we really can offer is life.
 
Jordache said:
That's horrible zero, but considering I haven't had an income since September I could really only say it from the heart... I truly have nothing to give.
When my dad was on his death bed I was tormented because I knew he didn't want to die, but I had to say things that only reminded him he was not getting up this time. Like I said I was tormented, and I cried out to God because I really felt like I was tormenting him. And the Lords and answer was that verse in Acts 2. We are called to serve and give under the guidance of The Lord, but in any case all we really can offer is life.
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Sorry, Jordache. I know what its like being without a job for a long time too and I know you didn't mean to patronize anyone. I'm just suggesting that it might be better for one to only say that they don't have money instead of adding that they'll pray for them, but I guess it all depends on the situation and the person.
 
Zero--I really admire you for doing always being prepared to help!

I do just want to say though that God does call us to use wisdom. I would NEVER advise a woman who is alone to interact too much with someone in questionable circumstances. It must be remembered as fact that many of the homeless are also mentally ill... and sometimes dangerous. It's hard to know the line, but I personally believe that we all need to use caution and discretion. It would be horrible for a charitable act to turn to tragedy just because someone felt guilty.
 
I feel horrible when I pass people walking down the road and I fill guilt every time. But my fear that they may do me harm is always more than my guilt and every time I see someone like that I pray from the time I see them until I can't that God blesses them and sends someone to help them. :(
 
seoulsearch said:
Zero--I really admire you for doing always being prepared to help!

I do just want to say though that God does call us to use wisdom. I would NEVER advise a woman who is alone to interact too much with someone in questionable circumstances. It must be remembered as fact that many of the homeless are also mentally ill... and sometimes dangerous. It's hard to know the line, but I personally believe that we all need to use caution and discretion. It would be horrible for a charitable act to turn to tragedy just because someone felt guilty.
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I agree. That's why I said Arwen did the right thing by avoiding that person on the street. In Jordache's case I was just saying that telling someone you'll pray for them after telling them u have no money might sound patronizing to a homeless person.

And thanks for the kudos, but I've been slacking off in the giving dept. especially now that money's gotten really tight.
 
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Mostly, the people around here just sit on the curbs with their cardboard pieces, saying whatever.
After seein so many signs out there, I'm sure every homeless guy is a vet. It kind of gets on my nerves.
But there was one sign I saw, held by a guy, that said "I just want a smile." That one got me. I had to smile and wave at the guy, his sign got to me so much, that I had to force the smile.
 
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Godly sorrow worketh repentance, but sorrow of the world worketh death.... pray for the discernment to know the difference.
 
HEIsRiSen said:
Godly sorrow worketh repentance, but sorrow of the world worketh death.... pray for the discernment to know the difference.
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Is that in scripture somewhere because for me it doesn't ring a bell? What exactly is godly sorrow and worldly sorrow?
 
Maybe he pulled a Joseph Smith and thought if it sounds like middle English people will believe its the word of God.
 
2 Corinthians 7:10--Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

Excellent passage--I had forgotten about this.

I've come to understand it in the context of the following examples: Peter's sorrow over denying Jesus led to his repentance and restoration; Judas's regret over betraying Jesus led to his suicide, not repentance or restored fellowship.

During my time writing inmates, I saw this often as well--many said they were sorry but when you broke it down, they were sorry that they had been caught and angry that their freedom had been taken away. Their sorrow was simply over their own reputation and self-interest. But a few were genuinely repentant and earnestly desired restoration with both God and society.

And you see a lot of this in every day life as well. Most people are just sorry that someone caught them and would certainly continue if they thought no one was watching.
 
seoulsearch said:
2 Corinthians 7:10--Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

Excellent passage--I had forgotten about this.

I've come to understand it in the context of the following examples: Peter's sorrow over denying Jesus led to his repentance and restoration; Judas's regret over betraying Jesus led to his suicide, not repentance or restored fellowship.

During my time writing inmates, I saw this often as well--many said they were sorry but when you broke it down, they were sorry that they had been caught and angry that their freedom had been taken away. Their sorrow was simply over their own reputation and self-interest. But a few were genuinely repentant and earnestly desired restoration with both God and society.

And you see a lot of this in every day life as well. Most people are just sorry that someone caught them and would certainly continue if they thought no one was watching.
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Thanks Kim! :)

Liamson said:
Maybe he pulled a Joseph Smith and thought if it sounds like middle English people will believe its the word of God.
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That's what I originally thought too. I bet he left out the chapter and verse just to trick us! Lol just kidding :)
 
Thanks for finding and siting the chapter and verse Seoul, rather than condemning me for not doing so. :)

Liamson and Zero, I have nothing to say to either of you.
 
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