There are some very good reasons why we should, and must forgive.
I will deal with the theological issue first, before I deal with the personal benefits.
Lets start by looking at what Jesus taught about forgiveness.
Luke 11:4 And forgive us our sins, For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. NKJV
Matt 6:14-15
14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. NKJV
Matt 18:21-35
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" 22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. 23 Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' 27 "Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 28 But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!' 29 "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' 30 "And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' 34 "And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 35 So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses." NKJV
Mark 11:25-26
25 "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses." NKJV
Luke 6:37
Forgive, and you will be forgiven. NKJV
All of these passages make it plain that our forgiveness for our sin’s is based (in part) upon whether or not we forgive others. Jesus gave the parable (Mtt 18:21-35) Too warn us about the danger of refusing too forgive others. You see, WE are the one’s who owe God the “ten thousand talents”, (i.e. Our sin is so great that there is no way that we can make thing’s right on our own, and we are thus damned to an eternity in Hell.) God, in His mercy, has forgiven us this “debt” that we cannot pay. (And thus changed our destiny from Hell to Heaven) Therefore it is reasonable that we should forgive others who have wronged us. But if we, as true Christian's, should absolutely refuse too forgive other’s who have wronged us; Then God will refuse too forgive us. And the previous “debt” that was previously forgiven will be once again ours to pay. (Which means that we forfeit our salvation, and go too Hell)
Jesus was giving us a parable of Ezek 18. I will give it in its full text so that there is no mis-understanding the context:
Ezek 18:4-32
4 "Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father as well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die. 5 But if a man is just And does what is lawful and right; 6 If he has not eaten on the mountains, Nor lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, Nor defiled his neighbor's wife, Nor approached a woman during her impurity; 7 If he has not oppressed anyone, But has restored to the debtor his pledge; Has robbed no one by violence, But has given his bread to the hungry And covered the naked with clothing; 8 If he has not exacted usury Nor taken any increase,
But has withdrawn his hand from iniquity And executed true judgment between man and man; 9 If he has walked in My statutes And kept My judgments faithfully-- He is just; He shall surely live!" Says the Lord GOD.
10 "If he begets a son who is a robber or a shedder of blood, Who does any of these things. 11 And does none of those duties, But has eaten on the mountains Or defiled his neighbor's wife; 12 If he has oppressed the poor and needy, Robbed by violence, Not restored the pledge, Lifted his eyes to the idols, Or committed abomination; 13 If he has exacted usury Or taken increase-- Shall he then live? He shall not live! If he has done any of these abominations, He shall surely die; His blood shall be upon him.
14 "If, however, he begets a son Who sees all the sins which his father has done, And considers but does not do likewise; 15 Who has not eaten on the mountains, Nor lifted his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, Nor defiled his neighbor's wife; 16 Has not oppressed anyone, Nor withheld a pledge, Nor robbed by violence, But has given his bread to the hungry And covered the naked with clothing; 17 Who has withdrawn his hand from the poor And not received usury or increase, But has executed My judgments And walked in My statutes--He shall not die for the iniquity of his father; He shall surely live!
18 "As for his father, Because he cruelly oppressed, robbed his brother by violence, and did what is not good among his people, Behold, he shall die for his iniquity.
19 "Yet you say, 'Why should the son not bear the guilt of the father?' Because the son has done what is lawful and right, and has kept all My statutes and done them, he shall surely live. 20 The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
21 "But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. 22 None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. 23 Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?" says the Lord GOD, "and not that he should turn from his ways and live?
24 "But when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and does according to all the abominations that the wicked man does, shall he live? All the righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; because of the unfaithfulness of which he is guilty and the sin which he has committed, because of them he shall die.
25 "Yet you say, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' Hear now, O house of Israel, is it not My way which is fair, and your ways which are not fair? 26 When a righteous man turns away from his righteousness, commits iniquity, and dies in it, it is because of the iniquity which he has done that he dies. 27 Again, when a wicked man turns away from the wickedness which he committed, and does what is lawful and right, he preserves himself alive. 28 Because he considers and turns away from all the transgressions which he committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die. 29 Yet the house of Israel says, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' O house of Israel, is it not My ways which are fair, and your ways which are not fair?
30 "Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. 31 Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? 32 For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!
NKJV
This passage makes it plain that if you forsake God by becoming rebelious to His ways; that all of your former righeteousness in Christ will be completly forgotten, and all of your former sins will be brought back and charged too your account. It will be as though He had never known you!
It’s repeated in Ezek 33:12-20:
'The righteousness of the righteous man shall not deliver him in the day of his transgression; as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall because of it in the day that he turns from his wickedness; nor shall the righteous be able to live because of his righteousness in the day that he sins.' 13 "When I say to the righteous that he shall surely live, but he trusts in his own righteousness and commits iniquity, none of his righteous works shall be remembered; but because of the iniquity that he has committed, he shall die
. 14 Again, when I say to the wicked, 'You shall surely die,' if he turns from his sin and does what is lawful and right, 15 if the wicked restores the pledge, gives back what he has stolen, and walks in the statutes of life without committing iniquity, he shall surely live; he shall not die. 16 None of his sins which he has committed shall be remembered against him; he has done what is lawful and right; he shall surely live.
17 "Yet the children of your people say, 'The way of the LORD is not fair.' But it is their way which is not fair! 18 When the righteous turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, he shall die because of it. 19 But when the wicked turns from his wickedness and does what is lawful and right, he shall live because of it. 20 Yet you say, 'The way of the LORD is not fair.' O house of Israel, I will judge every one of you according to his own ways." NKJV
This passage explains what Jesus meant in Matt 7:21-23:
21 "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' 23 "And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!' NKJV
The Bible tells us that Satan does not cast out Satan, or else his kingdom will fall. (Mk 3:23-26) So if these people who stand before God truly did cast out demons in the name of Jesus. Then you can be certain that they cast them out by the power of God! Hence, these people who are standing before God too be judged, were at one time True Christians. For they could not have cast out demons if they were not true Christians! (Remember the 7 son’s of Sceva? Acts 19:13-17 13 Some Jews who went around driving out evil spirits tried to invoke the name of the Lord Jesus over those who were demon-possessed. They would say, "In the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, I command you to come out." 14 Seven sons of Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. 15[One day] the evil spirit answered them, "Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" 16 Then the man who had the evil spirit jumped on them and overpowered them all. He gave them such a beating that they ran out of the house naked and bleeding. NIV) Yet Jesus claims too have never known them! The only way that this verse makes any sense is if you interpret it in the light of Ezek. Thus these passages also refer too true believers forfeiting their salvation.
Any way, the point is that if you absolutely refuse too forgive: then God will not forgive you. Thus, in order for you too keep the gift of salvation that God has given too you: You must know forgive everyone that has wronged you!
This is the first and most important reason for you too forgive.
The second reason is that if you continue too harbor unforgiveness in your heart, your bitterness will increase, and it will affect every other area of your life. It will cost you friends, your health, and eventually, your life.
Remember that your hatred of these individual’s does not affect them at all. It only negatively affects you! So you need too forgive them for your own sake!
The next question is, “How do I forgive Him?”
This cannot be accomplished in your own strength. This can only be done through the power of God!
So then, How do you get this Power? Follow these steps:
1. Make a conscious decision to forgive them.
2. Ask God too forgive you for not forgiving them sooner.
3. Ask God too help you too forgive them from your heart. Acknowledging too Him that you are not capable of forgiving them on your own.
4. Ask God too take out of you the pain that you feel in your heart.
5. Ask God too remove the bitterness from your heart. And too replace it with His love.
6. Start too pray for the well being of the person who has wronged you!
Pray for his salvation. Pray that God will bless Him in all things.
7. Repeat steps 1 through 6 as often as necessary.
Forgiving other’s for deep wounds that they have given too you is no easy task! The deeper the pain the harder it is to forgive.
One person wounded me very deeply. I had too repeat steps 1-6 once every 3 or 4 days for about 3 years before I finally got to the point that I could think about the incident without any anger or hatred rising up within me. That’s when I knew that the work of forgiveness was complete. Although every day that I went through those steps, I would feel God’s love and peace flood my body, and truly reach the place where I felt like I had truly forgiven them; none the less, 2 or 3 days later, all of the hatred and pain would come back. At which point, I would repeat steps 1-6. And the effort was well worth it!
And as long as you are doing these things; your salvation is secure! But if you give up, and would rather enjoy the fantasies of revenge instead; you stand in jeopardy of losing your salvation.
The choice is yours.
God bless.
Elder1