Guys, help us understand this...

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Donkeyfish07 and Tintin, that's really interesting. I didn't know women had that affect on men. I saw stuff like that on TV and movies but always thought "Pfft, that doesn't really happen." But it does, apparently! :eek:

So, it's not the approach that makes you feel that way, it's the actual girl? And it's not that the girl is scary to talk to, it's just you're so blown away by her...presence?
 
I agree with Rachel, I had NO CLUE guys experience that response to a girl that they're really interested in. That is super interesting.
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
Yea, you get it! lol. I've even seen guys that were in special forces and seen live combat that would rather go back to war than approach such a woman. It's ridiculous when you think about it, there's no logical reason to feel THAT intense about it but it happens nontheless.
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Ummm... I just interpret that as EXACTLY the woman you are s'posed to pursue... . I mean as christian's... God is not the author of fear... so if you are having an intense fear response to a woman and she isn't pointing a 357 at your face... the fear is not only irrational but authored by_________? That just looks like exactly the barrier you should be willing to go thru to get to the other side. I am not saying she will say yes... just that that is training ground vs hanging out in "easyland" where the wrong kind of girls are going to initiate with you. What do special forces fellas say... no pain no GAIN!
 
rachelsedge said:
Donkeyfish07 and Tintin, that's really interesting. I didn't know women had that affect on men. I saw stuff like that on TV and movies but always thought "Pfft, that doesn't really happen." But it does, apparently! :eek:

So, it's not the approach that makes you feel that way, it's the actual girl? And it's not that the girl is scary to talk to, it's just you're so blown away by her...presence?
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That's pretty close, "blown away by her presence" is a great way to put it. An approach in itself isn't scary. If you bet a guy 50 bucks to approach a girl he wasn't attracted to and get rejected he would be like....sure, im gonna crash and burn like no one has ever crashed and burned before. lol. You could bet him 500 bucks to approach one that made him feel like that and the average guy wouldn't take the bet. I think a lot of guys intentionally avoid women that make them feel like that because it's so intense, they would rather have a partner that doesn't have as strong of an influence on their emotions. I know it isn't talked about much but I'm surprised at how foreign this is to you ladies :P

Why do you think guys try to fake "acting cool"?
 
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Jullianna said:
I've been reading (and agree) with what scripture and godly men expect from wives, yet in many threads I'm reading that men want women to be more aggressive in forming relationships PRIOR to marriage. It's almost as if we are supposed to undergo some sort of personality transplant as vows are spoken. :) Can you guys please help us understand this?

Sometimes it almost seems like the old, "There's the kind of girl men date and the kind they marry" thing...
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As Liamson said, it's the return that most men want to see. Not necessarily a grand standing show, but just some simple sign that the effort isn't in vain. We can serve, but if there is no return then there is really no way of knowing what to do from there. I believe that this combined with what was said by Donkeyfish pretty much sums most of the matter up. There is a fear of presence that you have to deal with until you ask them out, which multiplies the fear. Still though, if there is at least some sign or chance that they are interested in you then you bear the fear to get to know them, etc.
 
So the bottomline is that guys really do not want us to be aggressive, they simply want us to be polite and encouraging (that's a relief). J
Got it!
 
Jullianna said:
So the bottomline is that guys really do not want us to be aggressive, they simply want us to be polite and encouraging (that's a relief). J
Got it!
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Yea, basically. If your interested in a guy that ain't making a move though, whats a lady to do?
 
i dont have a problem with aggressive personally...i mean maybe youre a lady in church who saw me from across the sanctuary and wants to get to know me...well in that case be aggressive b-e aggressive
 
Donkeyfish, I don't have a problem with initiating a conversation with a guy like. But, I can't see myself running to the other side of the church to do it. Can't speak for other ladies, but I can usually tell from a guy's body language whether he is interested or not when I'm talking with him, even if he doesn't say much.

Nautilus...I suddenly feel the urge to dig out my pom poms with that last line...
:D

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BarlyGurl said:
Ummm... I just interpret that as EXACTLY the woman you are s'posed to pursue... . I mean as christian's... God is not the author of fear... so if you are having an intense fear response to a woman and she isn't pointing a 357 at your face... the fear is not only irrational but authored by_________? That just looks like exactly the barrier you should be willing to go thru to get to the other side. I am not saying she will say yes... just that that is training ground vs hanging out in "easyland" where the wrong kind of girls are going to initiate with you. What do special forces fellas say... no pain no GAIN!
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Sort of like all the really good fruit is at the top of the tree. And if you want that fruit, you are going to have to find away to get to it.
 
Hmm...well Jules, I suppose it just depends on the guy. There is the whole Master & Commander quote...(lol, for those who don't get the reference, "To wives and sweethearts: May they never meet.")

...but overall, I think a lot of the major (may or may not) stay the same between sexes, but we have HUGE variations in the minor things. (or even what we consider major and minor at times)

So you want a simple, summarized, truthful, easily seen/understood answer? 2+2=4 ...otherwise, I'm afraid life's a bit complicated. ^^() Sorry my friend.
 
rachelsedge said:
Donkeyfish07 and Tintin, that's really interesting. I didn't know women had that affect on men. I saw stuff like that on TV and movies but always thought "Pfft, that doesn't really happen." But it does, apparently! :eek:

So, it's not the approach that makes you feel that way, it's the actual girl? And it's not that the girl is scary to talk to, it's just you're so blown away by her...presence?
Click to expand...

arwen83 said:
I agree with Rachel, I had NO CLUE guys experience that response to a girl that they're really interested in. That is super interesting.
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dliz said:
lol likewise,Arwen. @_@
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*rubs hands together thinking of ways to USE this new found power*
(oh, yeah and) *laughs evilly*

...nah...they haven't gotten to know us yet.
('s'just hormones and such so far)

oh, yeah, and the husband may not like it. ;)

many blessings to each of you, ladies and gents, who still wait for the Lord to bring you (to) your mate.

love to you all-
el

 
zaoman32 said:
I just want all these women to leave me alone!!!
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Except me, right? The fresh bread I baked last night and the cookies I'll be making tonight assure me I'm correct on this :P


BarlyGurl said:
1still_waters said:
yet once married they put him on the couch if he takes a "stand" and won't bend to her will...

Seriously... NO CHRISTIAN WOMAN should ever do that... EVER... unless he just confessed to infidelity and then he oughta be smart enough to take the couch by his own volition.
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zaoman32 said:
BarlyGurl said:
And stay there for the rest of his natural life.
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Or until his unnatural death....:mad:... I mean...I would never....
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Okay, another question, what is an indicator of interest that is not chasing a man? Ahhhh..... I don't want to chase a man, but it seems like if you just hold conversation with them, being friendly, they just take it as friendship and seem ackward to not know what to do next...... again... Ahhh.... lol.
 
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