The heart of a woman

[dashadow]

We have had discussions in this forum as to how scripture teaches men and women to deal with one another in relationships that will lead to lasting marriages. A few weeks ago we discussed how important it is to a man to feel respected by his lady. We've also shared scriptural instruction for a man to cherish the woman entrusted to him by the Lord, but I don't know that we have ever discussed why this is so important.

A godly woman can endure tremendous difficulties and hardships, but her purpose in doing so is most always love. No matter how resilient she may appear to be, her heart is extremely fragile. Wise is the man who sees this as the Lord does, and handles her heart with care. If she knows she can trust him with her heart, she will allow him to keep it. If not, she will take it back.

Men are driven. They are competitive. They want to win. They are logical. They are problem solvers. While a woman may share these things in measure, her heart is the core of her being. This is why men are so frustrated when they argue with a woman. Men are trying to make points that will "win" the argument. A woman is usually not really interested in "winning" an argument with her man. She wants to get to the part where she can see the love he has for her. If you want to "win" an argument with the woman you love, state your case, stick to your guns, but, most of all, help her understand how your position is showing love toward her. Let it be less about "winning" and more about growing closer to one another. THAT is how you both win.

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'tis woman's whole existence." - Lord Byron

This is well expressed, but it's a bit of a generalization. I've found there are more and more women who are just as driven and competitive as men. I'm all for equal pay, rights, etc. for women. But there are so many women these days who want to be like men.

My wife likes to play the delicate flower to get her way. But the rest of the time, she's just as controlling, selfish and egotistical as any knuckle-dragging man I've ever met.

 

[Nuns_n_roses]

If this is true then why do women almost always fall for the bad boy type, and put the nice guys that try to always show her she's loved in the friend zone?

I'm ALWAYS friendzoned... and I never liked bad boys...

I guess that's what happens when you're friends with someone prettier than you in high school... The funny thing is I'm very pretty but nobody ever asks me out... or they just think of me as a friend... =/

 

[BarlyGurl]

This is well expressed, but it's a bit of a generalization. I've found there are more and more women who are just as driven and competitive as men. I'm all for equal pay, rights, etc. for women. But there are so many women these days who want to be like men.

My wife likes to play the delicate flower to get her way. But the rest of the time, she's just as controlling, selfish and egotistical as any knuckle-dragging man I've ever met.

Gosh... I wonder how your wife would respond to reading that ^

 

[FireWire]

I'm ALWAYS friendzoned... and I never liked bad boys...

I guess that's what happens when you're friends with someone prettier than you in high school... The funny thing is I'm very pretty but nobody ever asks me out... or they just think of me as a friend... =/

Narcissist alert!

 

[zeroturbulence]

I'm ALWAYS friendzoned... and I never liked bad boys...

I guess that's what happens when you're friends with someone prettier than you in high school... The funny thing is I'm very pretty but nobody ever asks me out... or they just think of me as a friend... =/

Ohhhh I'm sorry, Nuns. I always get friend-zoned too so I know how that feels.

 

[BarlyGurl]

sometimes the cause of being "friend-zoned" is that your social interaction is dealt so equitably... the intended doesn't notice you have any special interest or attraction for them.

 

[Donkeyfish07]

sometimes the cause of being "friend-zoned" is that your social interaction is dealt so equitably... the intended doesn't notice you have any special interest or attraction for them.

lol, yea I think people that get put in the friends zone tend to put themselves there.....Me personally, I'd rather make my interest clear and get a good ol fashioned rejection than to get stuck in the friend zone. I imagine it has to be different for you ladies, social rules against women pursuing men and all that good stuff.

 

[shae0104]

I just throw the line and..

 

[cutepoison]

I get friend-zoned. It's probably because of all my manly awesomeness.

 

[Jullianna]

If this is true then why do women almost always fall for the bad boy type, and put the nice guys that try to always show her she's loved in the friend zone?

What I've found is that it takes a bit of time for everyone to 'grow up'. For instance, I used to want a professional, prestigious, white-collar-type job. What has taken me until this point in my life is that I need tangible, real, honest proof of accomplishment every single day. Pushing paper around in a office job never gave that sense that I was accomplishing anything, yet now, in the job I have, I can easily see what I've accomplished. (I drive heavy equipment and move huge piles of scrap steel and aluminum to be recycled...every single day I can easily see what I've accomplished.)

I think it's the same with relationships. I think a lot of women might go for the type of guy who'll sweep her off of her feet and carry her off into the sunset...then one day she might realize that she's tired of always being carried off to some new sunset in some far away place, when what she really needs is someone who will just be with her where she's at right now.

Some women may want a bad boy, and will continue to seek out 'bad boy excitement' right up until they realize that they are tired of 'bad boy hysterics and selfish child-like behavior'.

However, some people never learn and never grow up. They never stop holding their breath and stamping their feet because they want want want.

Gabe, please remember that I was talking about the sort of "relationships that lead to lasting marriages". Relationships like that with a bad boy aren't going to happen because well...he's just that...a BOY. Nuke is spot on here. Girls eventually turn into women and eventually want a man.

 

[zeroturbulence]

sometimes the cause of being "friend-zoned" is that your social interaction is dealt so equitably... the intended doesn't notice you have any special interest or attraction for them.

That might be the case with others but in my case I would finally gather up the courage to ask a girl out and then get the old "I only like you as a friend" deal. I'm sure it was because I was too nice and they weren't attracted to me. That is why threads like this where it says women are more interested in a man's heart than his looks always strike a nerve with me. No offense, Julianna.

 

[Jullianna]

That might be the case with others but in my case I would finally gather up the courage to ask a girl out and then get the old "I only like you as a friend" deal. I'm sure it was because I was too nice and they weren't attracted to me. That is why threads like this where it says women are more interested in a man's heart than his looks always strike a nerve with me. No offense, Julianna.

No offense taken, Gabe. I know your heart and I know you know mine.

 

[Jullianna]

This is well expressed, but it's a bit of a generalization. I've found there are more and more women who are just as driven and competitive as men. I'm all for equal pay, rights, etc. for women. But there are so many women these days who want to be like men.

My wife likes to play the delicate flower to get her way. But the rest of the time, she's just as controlling, selfish and egotistical as any knuckle-dragging man I've ever met.

I was not generalizing. I was specifically talking about "godly" women and godly lasting relationships. There is nothing general about either. Both are difficult to find.


Do you perceive your marriage to be godly? Do you perceive your wife to be a "godly" woman? Are you both followers of Christ? If so, do you think Christ or your wife would view this post as a demonstration of a man cherishing his wife as Christ does the Church?

 

[meggars]

2) reasons... a) she isn't saved or she is following her sin nature... rebellion and "to rule over".... nice guy presents absolutely no challenge and provokes no "drive" for those two causes of attraction. b) bad boys "show" more masculine trait in behaviour... risk taker, leadership, self sufficiency (tho it is often not qenuine)... etc... than the "friend-type guy" and honestly I do not know any women who later didn't regret losing "friend guy" for their lack of interest in a more serious relationship.

or c) she thinks she can ''fix'' him and turn him into a good boy who just LOOKS like a bad boy.

 

[SeanS]

I get friend-zoned. It's probably because of all my manly awesomeness.

Manly awesomeness? coming from a woman that is an oxymoron

 

[NukePooch]

Gabe, please remember that I was talking about the sort of "relationships that lead to lasting marriages". Relationships like that with a bad boy aren't going to happen because well...he's just that...a BOY. Nuke is spot on here. Girls eventually turn into women and eventually want a man.

I'm sorry, it seems that everyone in this forum has glossed over what could possibly be the most important, life-changing, and earth shattering revelation since Al Gore invented the internets...
We should all take a moment to focus on what has just transpired and what that means for the future of the human race.

Jullianna said I was right.

Mark the time and date. You will want to remember this date to tell your grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

 

[Liamson]

Manly awesomeness? coming from a woman that is an oxymoron

.....hence what makes it humorous. *facepalm*

 

[rachelsedge]

or c) she thinks she can ''fix'' him and turn him into a good boy who just LOOKS like a bad boy.

Or D) The bad boy is nice only to her and so that makes her have an ego boost and makes her feel special. "He's only good to ME. Blah blah". Selfish reason but I've seen it.

 

[PopClick]

Or D) The bad boy is nice only to her and so that makes her have an ego boost and makes her feel special. "He's only good to ME. Blah blah". Selfish reason but I've seen it.

Or, the bad boy doesn't treat her well, but she doesn't think she deserves to be treated well anyway.

 

[leelee]

Or D) The bad boy is nice only to her and so that makes her have an ego boost and makes her feel special. "He's only good to ME. Blah blah". Selfish reason but I've seen it.

This is one of my most random ever analogies but it does work, bear with me. So I breed Shetland Ponies, most of them are really lovely and friendly but one of them, Mayfair, isn't. In fact she is moody and flighty and generally just not as nice as the others, except to me. She loves me and for some reason that makes her my favourite too, because she only tolerates other people! I do love all my pets and ponies but Mayfair has a special spot, partly because she was also my first pony.