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Well if that is your opinion, then I will totally respect that. God bless.
God Bless. .
Its through statistics and experience that I think we say wait, DONT BE DESPERATE, to avoid heartache,for all parties including children. It also said as there that We are to teach. As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching. [SUP]2 [/SUP]Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. [SUP]3 [/SUP]Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. Instead, they should teach others what is good. [SUP]4 [/SUP]These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands .
[SUP]6 [/SUP]In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. [SUP]7 [/SUP]And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. [SUP]8 [/SUP]Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized.
I clipped some out but read titus if u wish. Its not that I dont want people to find love and happiness. But you can't be ignorant either.
[SUP]6 [/SUP]In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. [SUP]7 [/SUP]And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. [SUP]8 [/SUP]Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized.
I clipped some out but read titus if u wish. Its not that I dont want people to find love and happiness. But you can't be ignorant either.
Shae, im glad to see you quoting scripture. This passage however is not at all referring to waiting a long time to find a spouse, this passage is telling the older men to be patient when dealing with other people in the church.
The exact same principle is taught in 1 Thessalonians 5:15
'We urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone'
F
Fighting4Him
Guest
In 1 Corinthians 7:34 Paul is making an observance between the wife and the virgin. And since he continues with saying unmarried and then married we can believe that he is still talking of both.
And in verse 9 of the same chapter it is talking about two people who want to get married. It's not talking singular. So unless you have someone who is causing you to want to get married and its reciprocated then you still need to be concerned with the things of God.
And I did look up the word agamos:
agamos: unmarried
Original Word: ἄγαμος, οῦ, ὁ, ἡPart of Speech: Noun, Feminine; Noun, Masculine
Transliteration: agamos
Phonetic Spelling: (ag'-am-os)
Short Definition: unmarried
Definition: unmarried, of a person not in a state of wedlock, whether he or she has formerly been married or not.
(source: http://biblesuite.com/greek/22.htm)
D
djness
Guest
Being in a relationship is great! If both of the persons love each other are totally devoted and at a young age that is awesome. One of my friends from my teens got married at 19 has had 6 kids with her husband and they are still doing great together.
On the other hand rushing into things for love always ends with disaster..I was just talking with a friend of mine who is 24 and her husband spends all his time talking to ''bimbos online''. She hasn't had a job in awhile and he isn't happy about that.
It just really isn't a good marriage at all now. That stage is really hard to come back from when you have reached it, and unless you are fine with getting divorced it's a loveless trap.
So I think you can take from what most of the responses have said and step carefully. Don't rush into anything.
On the other hand rushing into things for love always ends with disaster..I was just talking with a friend of mine who is 24 and her husband spends all his time talking to ''bimbos online''. She hasn't had a job in awhile and he isn't happy about that.
It just really isn't a good marriage at all now. That stage is really hard to come back from when you have reached it, and unless you are fine with getting divorced it's a loveless trap.
So I think you can take from what most of the responses have said and step carefully. Don't rush into anything.
1 Corinthians 7
I agree that Paul is comparing those who are unmarried to those who are married but to understand the context of verse 34 you have to start at verse 2. Paul here deals with those who are single but have passion and he says 'because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each wife to have his own husband'. So he has instructed those who are single and have passion (Group 1).
Then in verse 8 he deals with the 'unmarried' and the 'widow', now there are only three types of unmarried (agamos) persons in this context, 1) Those who have never been married and have passion 2) Those who have never been married and have no passion and 3) Those who have been divorced on biblical (3a) or un-biblical grounds (3b). Those who are widows he calls widows and not 'unmarried'.
Here he can't be including the first group as he has already dealt with them in verse 2 and told them to marry (if he was this would also cause a contradiction in verse 8). So he must be talking to the second and third group. So he tells both groups 2 and 3 it is better to stay single, but if they have passion it is better to get married. So he has told group 2 to stay single (as they have no passion).
With reguards to group 3 Paul wouldn't tell a person who was divorced on unbiblical grounds (and thus not allowed to re-marry) to get married as that would contradict Jesus's teachings (Matthew 5:31) and command them to commit adultery. So this creates two sub groups in group 3. Group 3a- Those who have passion and are allowed to re-marry and Group 3b Those who are not biblically allowed to re-marry. Thus he has told group 3a to get married and group 3b to stay single.
So we only have two groups of 'un-married' persons that Paul has told to stay single, these are
Group 2- Those who have never been married and have no passion.
Group 3b- Those who have been divorced on unbiblical grounds and thus not allowed to re-marry. (This group also has the option to be reconciled to their origionally spouse, verse 11)
This shows us exactly who paul is reffering to (when talking about singleness) in verse 34 when he uses the terms 'Virgin' (Group 2) and 'un-married' (Group 3b). After telling these two groups to stay single he uses verse 34 to encourage them by informing them of the benefit they will recieve from singleness
1 Corinthians 7:34- '..... The woman who is unmarried and the virgin, is concerned about the things of The Lord, she may be holy both in body and spirit, but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband'.
This means that in this passage, at no time does Paul say there is any benefit of being single for those who are biblically allowed to marry, and have passion. He tells them plainly to get married (Verse 2 and 9). I do believe this passage allows for seasons of singleness whereby God will take a persons passions away for a time so that God can accomplish certain works in you. But this will always be signified by a lack of passion, thus if anyone has passion, and are biblically allowed, and they can fulfill their biblical role of a husband/wife, it is God's will/command that they marry.
F
Fighting4Him
Guest
I can see we have some similarities in our thinking. But at the same time we aren't getting the same message from the verses. As long as you believe what you are doing is God's word then I can't say anything else to you. God bless!
Romans 14:13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.
T
Theophane
Guest
@shae0104
Respectfully, I don't think that is true at all. People tend to overestimate their own ability to control their bodily urges. I wouldn't rely on my own strength, if I were you. Give it to God! Put it at the foot of the cross!
[ Self control can elimate burning with passion
Respectfully, I don't think that is true at all. People tend to overestimate their own ability to control their bodily urges. I wouldn't rely on my own strength, if I were you. Give it to God! Put it at the foot of the cross!
M
MissCris
Guest
Yes, according to a leading psychiatrist named Dr. Daniel Amen who mentioned it during a broadcast of his program on PBS about how to have a healthy brain.Is that true?! Really really? Because that would explain so much...
Plus, here it is from none other than the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' website:
Maturation of the Prefrontal Cortex
Quoted from the HHS site:
"This brain region gives an individual the capacity to exercise “good judgment” when presented with difficult life situations. Brain research indicating that brain development is not complete until near the age of 25, refers specifically to the development of the prefrontal cortex."
P
Perseus
Guest
Back in the day, it was considered abnormal if you weren't married and having children in your early 20's.
I don't think there is anything wrong with your desire to find love and to find a good husband, OP. Keep your eyes open, keep all avenues open, do not shut any doors if God is nudging them open. Let that desperation be the fuel to keep your drive going.
But don't let it force you into a bad decision. Assess all available choices, and only move forward if you believe it is the absolutely correct decision to be making. Do not let your desire for a spouse be an overriding factor in the decision-making process. Keep enthusiastically looking for love in all possible places, but be very careful before you pull that trigger.
I don't think there is anything wrong with your desire to find love and to find a good husband, OP. Keep your eyes open, keep all avenues open, do not shut any doors if God is nudging them open. Let that desperation be the fuel to keep your drive going.
But don't let it force you into a bad decision. Assess all available choices, and only move forward if you believe it is the absolutely correct decision to be making. Do not let your desire for a spouse be an overriding factor in the decision-making process. Keep enthusiastically looking for love in all possible places, but be very careful before you pull that trigger.
H
Hal51
Guest
I know, I know I am only 20 but I have a longing to get married or find the one. I want to be the physically best for my future husband but I want to grow with him too! Be able to tell our children 'when your dad was 2x yrs he was xyz' but where is he. I think I mentioned this in a previous thread. I get attention from men, I have confidence in my sexuality and attractiveness but seriously doubt it because I have never been asked out, had a bf, had sex (so happy about that) or kissed a guy! Pure as it gets ey?BICs and SICs your humble advice please?
For those of who waited tell me about your journey!
Your priorities are way off! You should desperately be seeking repentance towards God and faith towards Jesus Christ, and do not worry about your future life, you must get right with God first, seek His great mercy, and become the right person only for a man who is walking the narrow road with Christ, not these fake psudo Christians today who act like those in the world, sin like the devil, and claim to be saved!
I urge you to come clean before God, be led by His spirit, and be desperate for His love, compassion, and mercy, that can only come from a cleansed and purged heart made pure through real repentance and faith!
Keep yourselves!
Jud 1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
Jud 1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
Jud 1:20 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,
Jud 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
Let’s break down these powerful words from God, as spoken through Jude!
Mocker’s will come as promised, despising truth, attacking Gods anointed who come to them with truth that transforms the soul from darkness to light, and from the power of satan to God, as to the great and powerful purpose that Jesus gave up His life and freedom to produce in those who come to Him on His terms.
Mocker’s take this simple message of repentance unto God, followed by faith (obedience) unto the Lord Jesus Christ, Acts 20-21. And make it a license to fulfill their ungodly lusts and passions!
Mockers are also those who mock God by denying His saving power over sin, temptation and the devil, they come with a form of godliness, but deny its power to free them , because they were told they have great mercy to be a struggling sinner, since they were saved IN sin, and pronounced born with a foreign sin nature in their blood, they mock with pride and arrogance as they cannot see that they are under the strong delusion, persecuting those who obey from the heart, and have come to a saving faith through real repentance and faith(obedience) all proven by the deeds of faith(pure heart and mind).
They claim to be filled with the Holy Spirit, while they are dead to God, defending for sin, even though in their minds, they think they are doing right, since they see the mercy of God as a covering and pass for them as they struggle through such vile sins such as immorality, pride, adultery, fornication, drunkenness and worldliness!
But the sad fact is that today, those who preach repentance, as preached by Christ, John the Baptist, Jonah, and the prophets of old, plus many more saints who came through the wilderness, spotless and blameless, because they knew salvation wasn’t some forensic provision, but an everyday reality, as they knew what it meant to put the old man to death once and for all in repentance by crucifying the flesh with Christ, Gal 2-20, Gal 5-24.
Now the last most powerful verse in my opinion is the proven fact that those who name the name of Christ must keep themselves IN the love of God! It doesn’t say that Jesus would do it for them or that if you fall in and out of His love through willful disobedience, you will stay IN His love, but it says we must DO something to get something. Many will say this is pure pride and arrogance, they will scream works, and it’s NOT of works, as they throw out the baby with the bathwater, along with heart purity, and obeying the righteous requirements of the law as commanded!
They throw out heart purity and obedience to the truth, and ignore the sad fact that those who do not keep themselves In His great love by walking the narrow road, falling in and out of willful sin, are wicked in the eyes of God abusing His great mercy, patients, and forbearance!
The works that bring an obedient faith to life are nullified by the multitude of Bible pundits, and teachers who honor the Lord with their speech, but their heart and soul is far from God! But in vain they worship God teaching as doctrine and truth the lies of man!
We are commanded to build ourselves us in the Lord, and His truth, not sinning less and less, but many fall away, or backslide back into the world and lies, shipwrecking their faith, and trampling on the blood of Christ, treating His one time sin offering as a joke, making themselves hypocrites and enemies of God, who demands we keep, do, fight, strive, overcome, stand fast, test, abstain, guard, fight, flee, stay, be holy, be separate, be strong, endure to the end, and many more to do commands that can only come and be understood when the wicked flesh has been put aside, and put to death through repentance.
This all comes together when you realize you cannot walk in the light and the dark at the same time, as many will claim they struggle with immorality, drunkenness, rage, hate and lust, while proclaiming they are saved and walking in the spirit, they again mock God as they lead many others into the dark ditch with them, who are trying to escape the pollutants of the world and flesh, being told God forgives them In their sins and worldliness, and has declared them righteous while they are still in great bondage!
2Ti 3:13 But evil men and seducers will go forward to worse, deceiving and being deceived.
2Th 2:11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie
Jesus came to put the darkness of the soul bent on sin and disobedience to death once and for all, but only the past sins, Romans 3-25, as we do our part as free will agents, coming broken before the mercy seat of God, pleading for reconciliation for our past willful transgressions against Him!
To sum this up, mockers don’t have to be the serial killers, and vile satan worshipers, no they can be anybody who thinks they can take the gospel according to godliness, add to it as Calvin, Luther, Augustine, and many more reformed preachers did over the past 500 years or so! Now the multitudes are trapped in this strong delusion, God promised to send to those who love NOT the truth!
They mock Him, by defending their right to sin like the devil, because they were insured the grace and mercy of God covers them, since they were born dead in sin, will always be a wretched sinner, where the great transfer of the righteousness of Christ took their place, now covers and cloaks them, as they keep the old man alive and well! Hoping someday God will put their uncontrollable sin nature to death for them, even though many scriptures command us to stop sinning.
Rom 6:5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.
Rom 6:6 We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.
Rom 6:7 For one who has died has been set free from sin.
Was means past, not to be repeated, we do this in repentance, God gets the glory as we come to Him dead to sin, now teachable and able to be a doer of His word, cleansed and purged of all dead works, broken as a wild horse, now growing more and more in His grace and wisdom, declared righteous because we simply do what is right by faith (obedience).
Tommy
Well, I disagree, there is only one true interpretation of scripture, and when we get the wrong one it will have all kind of negative impacts in our lives and of those who we instruct. We will also come under judgment for teaching a wrong interpretation of scripture.
James 3:1- 'Stop bein so many teachers, my brethren, knowing as such we will incur a stricter judgment'
Thanks Hal but not really, i need to know it so much better. Please pray for me that I would learn and understand the word much more.
To the OP:
Pray. I do not believe that having that desire at your age is a bad thing. Most people have this desire, and I believe that's how God wired us. The important thing is to not become obsessed with this desire, because we are not in control of our lives. Remember that God has a plan and a will for your life, and He's got everything scheduled according to His perfect timing. HE is in control, and this is a very good thing because He definitely knows best. Trust how much He loves you and know that He knows what is best for you.
I'm very close to you in age, and I can relate to your desire to marry. When I was 19 I put it all in God's hands and said something along the lines of, "Lord, you know I want a husband, but more importantly I just want Your will done in my life. Help me to focus on my relationship with you for now, and please make me more like You, so that if/when You bring a husband into my life, I'll be better equipped to love and serve Him right".
I hope this helps. There really IS power in prayer. It hurts my heart to see older Christians discourage young people from having the desire to marry (some even go as far as saying young people shouldn't even THINK about marriage). I know they have good intentions. They don't want to see young people rush into things and make mistakes and potentially ruin their lives. To those of you reading who have warned against young marriage for these reasons: thank you for those good intentions. Really.
But please don't forget that marriage IS a good thing. Rather than steer young people away from it, steer them closer to Our Lord and encourage them to pray earnestly and seek His will. He may or may not tell them to wait, because He may or may not plan for them to marry at a young age. Forget statistics and research about brain development. I know a great many marriages that started with two young people who loved The Lord very much and prayed about the decision to marry and definitely didn't rush into it blindly. the Bible is silent when it comes to an ideal age to marry, and I personally believe it's because there's no right or wrong answer. There is simply God's timing.
"Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding".
Sorry for the really long post. This is just something that I care about.
Pray.
I do not believe that having that desire at your age is a bad thing. Most people have this desire, and I believe that's how God wired us. The important thing is to not become obsessed with this desire, because we are not in control of our lives. Remember that God has a plan and a will for your life, and He's got everything scheduled according to His perfect timing. HE is in control, and this is a very good thing because He definitely knows best. Trust how much He loves you and know that He knows what is best for you. I'm very close to you in age, and I can relate to your desire to marry. When I was 19 I put it all in God's hands and said something along the lines of, "Lord, you know I want a husband, but more importantly I just want Your will done in my life. Help me to focus on my relationship with you for now, and please make me more like You, so that if/when You bring a husband into my life, I'll be better equipped to love and serve Him right".
I hope this helps. There really IS power in prayer. It hurts my heart to see older Christians discourage young people from having the desire to marry (some even go as far as saying young people shouldn't even THINK about marriage). I know they have good intentions. They don't want to see young people rush into things and make mistakes and potentially ruin their lives. To those of you reading who have warned against young marriage for these reasons: thank you for those good intentions. Really.
But please don't forget that marriage IS a good thing. Rather than steer young people away from it, steer them closer to Our Lord and encourage them to pray earnestly and seek His will. He may or may not tell them to wait, because He may or may not plan for them to marry at a young age. Forget statistics and research about brain development. I know a great many marriages that started with two young people who loved The Lord very much and prayed about the decision to marry and definitely didn't rush into it blindly. the Bible is silent when it comes to an ideal age to marry, and I personally believe it's because there's no right or wrong answer. There is simply God's timing.
"Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding".
Sorry for the really long post. This is just something that I care about.
F
Fighting4Him
Guest
What I mean is that I can't change your mind and you can't change my mind so it is best for us to leave it be instead of eventually angering each other. We've both stated how we interpret it so we both know what the other thinks.