Making Accommodations for a Future Someone? Why?

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Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
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Ever make any major life choices about someone that you don't even know yet?


Sort of like a Pregnant couple setting up a room for a child, sometimes I find myself weighing the consequences of taking one job over another in how it will affect my ability to compensate for someone else being in my life. But I don't have a someone else. Its just me. It pretty much always has been just me.

Sometimes I take it too far, I move, I change everything, I drop everything. I move somewhere I don't belong.


I suppose in a sense, this is why I don't have any Tattoos. What if someone down the road didn't like them.
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Well, I don't really have anything to show for this sort of thinking. And any tree that doesn't bear fruit should be cast into the fire.

So... my question is why compensate? Why NOT play World of Warcraft until the cows come home? Why keep trying to emulate an imaginary standard of what I think someone will like, when in fact I have never even met this person?


Am I really trying to impress someone I've never met? Is my idea that I'm going to walk into some Bible Study and she's going to take one look at my suede leather Bible Holster and neatly Ironed Pastel shirt, then suddenly I will be in control?


I don't really like World of Warcraft but, my Birthday is coming up and I'm buying myself another Motorcycle.
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In the Past I would have said, "What if I meet someone?" "What if soon I need a backseat for kids/babies or a dog?"


"What if... What if..." Um nope. I'll leave the negotiating for someone else.


Its time for Motovlogging, 80 miles per gallon and the ability to go anywhere for very cheap. =)

Who is with me?
 
neatly ironed pastel shirt?????

you lie!:p

BTW...those bikes are just NOT fun to ride on the back of... hunched over, ish... maybe pick a girl friendlier model??? I mean... so you can travel with a girl... ya know?
 
Liamson said:
I suppose in a sense, this is why I don't have any Tattoos. What if someone down the road didn't like them.
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Good thinking :p

I agree with the general idea of your post. And I have no idea why I always end up in this singles forum :rolleyes:
 
BarlyGurl said:


BTW...those bikes are just NOT fun to ride on the back of... hunched over, ish... maybe pick a girl friendlier model??? I mean... so you can travel with a girl... ya know?
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That, and he should get it in pink. :D
 
BarlyGurl said:
neatly ironed pastel shirt?????

you lie!:p

BTW...those bikes are just NOT fun to ride on the back of... hunched over, ish... maybe pick a girl friendlier model??? I mean... so you can travel with a girl... ya know?
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Well, she should have one too. Pink even.

for $4,000.oo, plus maybe 300 a YEAR insurance, ridiculously cheap maintenance and anywhere from 70-80mpg.

Then again, I live in California and where I live it doesn't snow. (My Last 2.5 cars have been Subaru's 2002 WRX, 1987 GL, 1990 Leona)

Before that it was a Mini Cooper S. I was paying 362 a month for insurance and had a 400 dollar car payment to go along with collecting speeding tickets and replacing 2 motors. No thank you very much.
 
If I wanted a tattoo, I would get a tattoo. If I wanted a motorcycle, I'd get one. If I wanted to buy a house and decorate it, I would (and did).

I can't imagine how something as cosmetic as a tattoo would affect someone's ability to love me. If it could, I wouldn't be interested in that type conditional love anyway.

When I married my husband, I had a Mustang that was only a year old and he had a motorcycle. We enjoyed them for a time, but when our son came along and we realized how tough it was gonna be to get a baby in and out of a carseat in the back of a two door Mustang, we sold the Mustang AND the motorcycle and used the money for our new family...and didn't think twice about it. :)

Life goes on. We change. We adjust. Don't live for what might be. Live for what is.
 
Jullianna said:
If I wanted a tattoo, I would get a tattoo. If I wanted a motorcycle, I'd get one. If I wanted to buy a house and decorate it, I would (and did).

I can't imagine how something as cosmetic as a tattoo would affect someone's ability to love me. If it could, I wouldn't be interested in that type conditional love anyway.

When I married my husband, I had a Mustang that was only a year old and he had a motorcycle. We enjoyed them for a time, but when our son came along and we realized how tough it was gonna be to get a baby in and out of a carseat in the back of a two door Mustang, we sold the Mustang AND the motorcycle and used the money for our new family...and didn't think twice about it. :)

Life goes on. We change. We adjust. Don't live for what might be. Live for what is.
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Thanks Jules. You're the bestest :D
 
Jullianna said:
If I wanted a tattoo, I would get a tattoo. I can't imagine how something as cosmetic as a tattoo would affect someone's ability to love me. If it could, I wouldn't be interested in that type conditional love anyway.
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It took us 3 years but we finally disagreed. I'm morally opposed to tattoos and would never date a girl who had one, I don't care if it's hidden from view. The way I see it, you wanna color? Buy a box of crayons. As for inking your body, FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!!
 
The first time I had to make a decision like that, I did momentarily think "but what about... down the road... if a guy..."

It lasted about 5 seconds. I do not wish to maintain an arbitrary "standard" for someone who may or may not actually exist.
 
Epicnerdheroix said:
It took us 3 years but we finally disagreed. I'm morally opposed to tattoos and would never date a girl who had one, I don't care if it's hidden from view. The way I see it, you wanna color? Buy a box of crayons. As for inking your body, FUHGEDDABOUDIT!!!
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You wouldn't date a girl because she has... a tattoo? One little tattoo? What if it was of just a cute little butterfly or a cute little puppy? That would totally take her out of the running? Yikes. lol You might have a hard time finding someone that fits all your standards, but I'll pray that you do. :)
 
OceanGrl said:
You wouldn't date a girl because she has... a tattoo? One little tattoo? What if it was of just a cute little butterfly or a cute little puppy? That would totally take her out of the running? Yikes. lol You might have a hard time finding someone that fits all your standards, but I'll pray that you do. :)
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Ya kidding? At this point I can almost guarantee that I'll remain single for the rest of my life and yes it's because apparently my standards are too unrealistic in 2013. But that's OK. There's a price to pay if you wanna live a very strict Godly life with very conservative morals. I've paid that price for many many years and will continue to pay it for many more years to come. I pray every day for a girl who compliments my morals but I know how unlikely it will be, especially since I turn 30 in 2014. Let it be so.
 
I bought my two-seat roadster six and a half years ago with the mindset of, "I can afford it now, I don't have kids now, and if I need to move more stuff or people, my significant other has a sedan and my best friend has a truck. If I wait until later, I may not get to enjoy a car like this after we get married and start a family."

So I can definitely see where you're coming from. My thought process was always that once the car was paid off, if I needed something a little more..."responsible," I could just buy that later, and drive the Miata on the weekends.

Obviously, the family planning thing changed. >_<

But if you can enjoy it now, and it doesn't hurt you or anyone else, and it's not a sin (is it a sin to own a motorbike? I mean...really??)...why not do it now? Now that I've paid the roadster off, I'm already thinking about buying a compact, light-duty truck (which no one builds anymore) for more hauling. If the right woman were to come along, I might think about that differently. But that will be then, this is now, and I cannot know what God's plans are for me.

The model prayer does advise us to ask for DAILY bread. Not the "bread we think we might need in 2 years, but we're not really sure, but the ladies might look at me different if I had more bread kinda" bread. That might be a misapplication of Scripture, but it my broken brain, it works. ^_^
 
Liamson, I've said this before, and I'm going to say it again. You're a spiffy guy. One of my favorites on CC. If we ever actually have a meet up party and watched the Princess Bride, you're SOOOO on the invite list. That being said, do what you want to do, and be who you are! When you meet your next girl she's not going to care about a tattoo (unless it's something like a swastika), she's not going to care about you having a motorcycle (or 4), she's going to see who you are and totally dig it. Be confident in who God is and is making you into. I'm tellin' you brother, you're pretty cool.


And be careful on the motorcycle. I'm going to be a nurse soon, and since we both live in Cali, there's a chance I might be the one to clean the road rash out of your leg. So, watch out, deal?
 
I'm not terribly fond of Tattoos.

Some women are ridiculously beautiful with or without them but, I can't say that I've ever been attracted to the women who get them.

Also, the women who get them, can't seem to stop at just one.
 
Liamson said:
I'm not terribly fond of Tattoos.

Some women are ridiculously beautiful with or without them but, I can't say that I've ever been attracted to the women who get them.

Also, the women who get them, can't seem to stop at just one.
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Pain is addicting. It releases endorphins once the brain realizes it's over. People are addicted to all kinds of pain, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. I think it's one of the reasons why we continue with the patterns we do.
 
You're clearly funny, intelligent and interesting. Plus you drive motorcycles and love you some Jesus. Call me? ;)
Nah but in all seriousness, I think you have a great point on that!! Go ride that motorcycle until the cows come home. In fact, ride that motorcycle to the cows and shepherd them home yourself (I'm not even sure I know what that last metaphor means but man, I'm pumped!)
There are a few things I used to do (or not do) because I would think things like "what kind of guy would want to marry a girl that's in that kind of band?" or "what kind of guy is going to put up with my love for that stupid movie?" or "who would be with a girl that dresses like that? Or eats that? Or goes there? Etc, etc" and I guess it really started to make me insecure. It was such a waste of time and life I could have been loving.
I say, if you love it, don't ditch it just because you're trying to pick up chicks! Remember that you wife will be your wife, not the wife of the dude she was impressed by because he didn't have tattoos or play video games or whatever. You can prep for that future "Mrs" by doing all of those cosmetic things (giving up motorcycles, forgoing tattoos, saving people from house fires, whatever, etc, etc) in fear that she won't love you otherwise or you can keep being yourself and living your life knowing that whoever she is, she'll love you for you.
 
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Summer_Lyric said:
You're clearly funny, intelligent and interesting. Plus you drive motorcycles and love you some Jesus. Call me? ;)
Nah but in all seriousness, I think you have a great point on that!! Go ride that motorcycle until the cows come home. In fact, ride that motorcycle to the cows and shepherd them home yourself (I'm not even sure I know what that last metaphor means but man, I'm pumped!)
There are a few things I used to do (or not do) because I would think things like "what kind of guy would want to marry a girl that's in that kind of band?" or "what kind of guy is going to put up with my love for that stupid movie?" or "who would be with a girl that dresses like that? Or eats that? Or goes there? Etc, etc" and I guess it really started to make me insecure. It was such a waste of time and life I could have been loving.
I say, if you love it, don't ditch it just because you're trying to pick up chicks! Remember that you wife will be your wife, not the wife of the dude she was impressed by because he didn't have tattoos or play video games or whatever. You can prep for that future "Mrs" by doing all of those cosmetic things (giving up motorcycles, forgoing tattoos, saving people from house fires, whatever, etc, etc) in fear that she won't love you otherwise or you can keep being yourself and living your life knowing that whoever she is, she'll love you for you.
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Here, here! Sing it sister!
 
I dont even think of a future someone. 31 years ive went no "someone" showed up. and honestly I quit caring about it at about 15. as they say that game is over and been over along time.

I do as I wish. in 31 years im set in my ways.
 
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