Wives submit to your husbands

[Jullianna]

How does a wife respectfully express her disagreement?

I absolutely agree that God did not create us to be Stepford Wives. We are not mindless morons who are completely void of godly wisdom. It's all in the approach. We can learn much from the book of Esther in this regard.

For me, discussing something with my husband was much the same way as with the Lord, except that discussing something with my husband required far more tact because he couldn't see my heart, and the Lord can.

My mother told me that, "A man will listen more intently to a whisper than to a scream." I've never met a man who disagreed with this. If my husband was doing something that bothered me, I would ask questions that might lead him to a different perspective, like, "Baby, what do you think about (fill in the blank)? How do you think it might affect "fill in the blank"?

There will always be times when couples will STRONGLY disagree. Times when a woman will have to say to him, "If you have truly been seeking God's will about this thing, I'm going to trust you to make the best decision for our family." You can bet that a response like that will make him stop, think and want to get it right. And if he doesn't? LOVE him still, Respect him still. There is no need for "I told you so" because he already knows and probably feels far worse about it than you ever could.

 

[seoulsearch]

If my husband decided, with good intent, that the world was going to end so we should all just jump off a bridge to stop us suffering I would have to respectfully disagree. I wouldn't be jumping off a bridge. Husbands are human too, they are not always right.

One of our jobs as a helper is to gently, and in love, correct our husbands as well. This means standing up to them against immoral or ungodly decisions.

In the case of Ananias and Sapphira (the couple who sold their property, kept part of the money for themselves, and yet told everyone they were contributing the full price as an offering), Sapphira, as a loving, submissive Christian wife should have told her husband this was wrong and that they should tell the truth, and that she would be truthful even if he wasn't going to be. But she went along with his lie, and, like him, she paid the price, dropping dead at the apostles' feet.

In this case, submitting and going along with your husband's decision was obviously not the right thing to do. A modern-day version could be something such as lying about your taxes, dishonest business practices, harsh treatment of family members...

Christian spouses keep each other on the straight and narrow. No Christian should expect to marry without accepting that they will, at times, need to be corrected by their spouse, no matter who is who.

 

[Stephen100]

The topic of women submitting comes up quite often here in singles, which I understand.

May I be 100% real in stating what's on my heart here? One of the reasons I get so discouraged as a Christian single woman is because of things like this:

1. Instant messaging with a "Christian" guy on a "Christian" site who writes, "What are you doing today?" and when I say, "Oh, just chores and laundry..." and he writes back, "Really? Are you in your skivvies?" (It is possible to slap someone--HARD--over the internet? I wish it was.)

2. I meet Christian guys a lot who... Can I be real here? Can I be honest? I'm not making fun of anyone's struggles. I admire those who are genuinely trying to deal with their challenges, because we ALL have them.

But as far as leadership goes, when I have genuine heart-to-heart talks with some of the Christian men I've been interested in, they confide problems with pornography and unhealthy sexual addictions. Yes, it happens with women, too, I'm not denying that, but as a Christian woman, let me tell you...

My hope of ever finding a man who would log off the computer porn long enough to actually make me believe he has an interest in protecting, cherishing, and leading a household... goes down the drain a little more every year. After all, we as women must submit... but are the men, in doing their part, willing to suffer and die for their wives? I personally believe a Christian woman would want to know a man genuinely believed in that before agreeing to marry him. It may be hard to find a woman to submit... it's just as hard to find a man willing to lead... and be willing to die for it.

I'm sorry for anyone I'm offending. THIS IS MY OWN EXPERIENCE ONLY, and for all you Christian guys out there who don't have this problem or are seeking help, kudos to you. I could be friends with the person in that situation, but I will not marry him. I may just meet all the wrong guys, so please DO NOT think I am lumping all men into this category. And, you find this everywhere, including among pastors, elders, and church leadership.

I told God a long time ago, that is something I can't and won't deal with. I would rather stay single, because to me, someone like that would not be my husband, and he would not be capable of leading--his heart is already far from me.

I know from my life experience that I work best as a SUPPORT person to a strong, tender-hearted but responsible, capable, leader. Sure, we'll sometimes disagree, but hopefully we'll be mature enough to work things out as Christian adults. If nothing else, my experiences have taught me how rare such a man would be and how much I need to cherish him more than any other human being in the world.

IF I EVER DO FIND THE LEADER I AM MEANT TO SUPPORT, you can bet your bottom dollar I'll do my very best to never let him go, nor let him go it alone without his helper right beside him.

Please understand, very few Christians actually follow Jesus with all their heart. Most people are unable, or unwilling, to completely isolate themselves from the sinful world. It is especially hard these days, because Christianity is being attacked from all angles. Since becoming a Christian, I have been horrified at the large amount of Christians who make excuses for living in sin. They have read all the warnings that God has given them in the Bible regarding sin, yet they have absolutely no fear of hell. They continue to water down the seriousness of sin.

Jesus said strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many shall seek to enter and will not be able (Luke 13:24). Jesus also said that whoever desires to come after him must deny themselves. Being a follower of Jesus is not about self fulfillment, it's about self denial. Very few people in church today are willing to do this. Even the apostle Paul said that it's through much tribulation that we enter the kingdom of God. The vast majority of Christians today are unwilling to deny themselves and fully submit to Christ's authority. They pick and choose what they want to obey. This is why so many churches are crumbling. The falling away has begun.

When it comes to marriage, this is one thing that Satan hates. Marriage was the first covenant that God made. God blessed Adam and Eve with the covenant of marriage, and it was perfect. But once sin came into the world, there also came a curse between men and women. Ever since the curse of sin, men and women have been in opposition. But for some reason, this opposition between men and women seems so much worse today than ever before. You can feel it. It's like an oppressive energy. It's as if a battle of the sexes is going on all around. And unfortunately, the churches have allowed the sinful world to penetrate them. Look how many divorces there are in the church. It's obvious that something satanic is at work.

I really wish Christians would just obey God's word instead of looking for ways around it: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Wives, submit to your husbands.

See how simple it is? But no, there's always someone who has to try and water it down to change its meaning. And this is why Christianity has become a shadow of its former self, because too many Christians don't want to obey God's word. They want to serve two masters--God and the world. This problem will unfortunately get worse until Jesus returns.

 

[zaoman32]

Please understand, very few Christians actually follow Jesus with all their heart. Most people are unable, or unwilling, to completely isolate themselves from the sinful world. It is especially hard these days, because Christianity is being attacked from all angles. Since becoming a Christian, I have been horrified at the large amount of Christians who make excuses for living in sin. They have read all the warnings that God has given them in the Bible regarding sin, yet they have absolutely no fear of hell. They continue to water down the seriousness of sin.

Jesus said strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many shall seek to enter and will not be able (Luke 13:24). Jesus also said that whoever desires to come after him must deny themselves. Being a follower of Jesus is not about self fulfillment, it's about self denial. Very few people in church today are willing to do this. Even the apostle Paul said that it's through much tribulation that we enter the kingdom of God. The vast majority of Christians today are unwilling to deny themselves and fully submit to Christ's authority. They pick and choose what they want to obey. This is why so many churches are crumbling. The falling away has begun.

When it comes to marriage, this is one thing that Satan hates. Marriage was the first covenant that God made. God blessed Adam and Eve with the covenant of marriage, and it was perfect. But once sin came into the world, there also came a curse between men and women. Ever since the curse of sin, men and women have been in opposition. But for some reason, this opposition between men and women seems so much worse today than ever before. You can feel it. It's like an oppressive energy. It's as if a battle of the sexes is going on all around. And unfortunately, the churches have allowed the sinful world to penetrate them. Look how many divorces there are in the church. It's obvious that something satanic is at work.

I really wish Christians would just obey God's word instead of looking for ways around it: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Wives, submit to your husbands.

See how simple it is? But no, there's always someone who has to try and water it down to change its meaning. And this is why Christianity has become a shadow of its former self, because too many Christians don't want to obey God's word. They want to serve two masters--God and the world. This problem will unfortunately get worse until Jesus returns.

I would be extremely careful with how you approach the subject of divorce in this forum. I do my best to keep my nose clean but I will tell you this, not only did I go through a divorce but so did at least three very dear friends of mine on this site, and I will not have anything said against them.

Don't you dare throw in all divorces as if it's the same crap that's demonic and unbiblical. I have strived, and the friends I have referred to have strived our hardest to keep those marriages in tact and failed. It wasn't because we refused to follow biblical standards. Watch it.

 

[Stephen100]

I would be extremely careful with how you approach the subject of divorce in this forum. I do my best to keep my nose clean but I will tell you this, not only did I go through a divorce but so did at least three very dear friends of mine on this site, and I will not have anything said against them.

Don't you dare throw in all divorces as if it's the same crap that's demonic and unbiblical. I have strived, and the friends I have referred to have strived our hardest to keep those marriages in tact and failed. It wasn't because we refused to follow biblical standards. Watch it.

I guess I touched a nerve lol.

 

[Markum1972]

This subject can be a very sensitive one. I believe that it is relative to why I am single.
When it has come to what is God's will or someone else, I have always strived to remain in obedience to God.
Recently, I was engaged and told her that God was sending me to another nation. I gave her all of the details. I asked her to pray about it and seek God's will on it. Her first response was, "You are the head and if this is God's will, then we (she has two children) will follow." I was astonished and felt like a very blessed man.
Some time passed and our relationship turned. Something unpleasant was developing. Instead of making decisions together, she became very argumentative and demanding. I knew something was not right but just continued to pray and be patient believing that it would just pass. I offered to talk if there was anything bothering her.
Among other things I wasn't aware of, she finally told me that she was afraid of going to another country and was not so sure that she was willing to do it. I was a bit heartbroken explaining that it was not an easy thing for me either. I again asked her to seek God's will on it and told her not to be afraid; that if God was sending us, He would keep us and bless us.
She came back only to make a bunch of very hurtful accusations and say that things were never meant to be.
I am still a bit confused as to exactly what went on here. But I am sad because I believe that her fear led to being in a place of rebellion and has robbed us of a great blessing.
As for me, I still plan on fulfilling God's will and am considering that maybe it is necessary that I do it alone.

 

[Stephen100]

This subject can be a very sensitive one. I believe that it is relative to why I am single.
When it has come to what is God's will or someone else, I have always strived to remain in obedience to God.
Recently, I was engaged and told her that God was sending me to another nation. I gave her all of the details. I asked her to pray about it and seek God's will on it. Her first response was, "You are the head and if this is God's will, then we (she has two children) will follow." I was astonished and felt like a very blessed man.
Some time passed and our relationship turned. Something unpleasant was developing. Instead of making decisions together, she became very argumentative and demanding. I knew something was not right but just continued to pray and be patient believing that it would just pass. I offered to talk if there was anything bothering her.
Among other things I wasn't aware of, she finally told me that she was afraid of going to another country and was not so sure that she was willing to do it. I was a bit heartbroken explaining that it was not an easy thing for me either. I again asked her to seek God's will on it and told her not to be afraid; that if God was sending us, He would keep us and bless us.
She came back only to make a bunch of very hurtful accusations and say that things were never meant to be.
I am still a bit confused as to exactly what went on here. But I am sad because I believe that her fear led to being in a place of rebellion and has robbed us of a great blessing.
As for me, I still plan on fulfilling God's will and am considering that maybe it is necessary that I do it alone.

This is the problem. People are simply not committing their hearts fully to God. If she was truly committed to God, she would not have treated you like that. This is why I choose to remain single. It's not worth the hassle.

 

[MissCris]

I guess I touched a nerve lol.

...yeah, hilarious.

If you've never been married, and therefore never divorced (in my case I've been divorced once, and on the verge of divorce several times), it's pretty rich for you to pass judgment on anyone who has.

Humans are imperfect, whether they are Christian or not. Throw two humans into a marriage, they're both going to make mistakes.

It is...naive, at best...to say how "simple" it is to obey God's word on this subject. I've said before that if people would obey God, a lot of problems would be solved...but simple? Negative.

 

[Markum1972]

I guess I touched a nerve lol.

I think anyone that thinks that they are not in a place where they need instruction or correction, is the same that has fallen to a prideful heart. We are supposed to love correction and instruction. Yet I see the majority of "Christians" not only hate it, but preach against it. Awaken to righteousness, people.

I will boldly say that divorce is NOT the will of God, because it is the truth.

 

[shae0104]

fear does destroy I'm sorry your heart is hurting but touched that you continue God's will

This subject can be a very sensitive one. I believe that it is relative to why I am single.
When it has come to what is God's will or someone else, I have always strived to remain in obedience to God.
Recently, I was engaged and told her that God was sending me to another nation. I gave her all of the details. I asked her to pray about it and seek God's will on it. Her first response was, "You are the head and if this is God's will, then we (she has two children) will follow." I was astonished and felt like a very blessed man.
Some time passed and our relationship turned. Something unpleasant was developing. Instead of making decisions together, she became very argumentative and demanding. I knew something was not right but just continued to pray and be patient believing that it would just pass. I offered to talk if there was anything bothering her.
Among other things I wasn't aware of, she finally told me that she was afraid of going to another country and was not so sure that she was willing to do it. I was a bit heartbroken explaining that it was not an easy thing for me either. I again asked her to seek God's will on it and told her not to be afraid; that if God was sending us, He would keep us and bless us.
She came back only to make a bunch of very hurtful accusations and say that things were never meant to be.
I am still a bit confused as to exactly what went on here. But I am sad because I believe that her fear led to being in a place of rebellion and has robbed us of a great blessing.
As for me, I still plan on fulfilling God's will and am considering that maybe it is necessary that I do it alone.

 

[seoulsearch]

I really wish Christians would just obey God's word instead of looking for ways around it: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Wives, submit to your husbands.

See how simple it is? But no, there's always someone who has to try and water it down to change its meaning. And this is why Christianity has become a shadow of its former self, because too many Christians don't want to obey God's word. They want to serve two masters--God and the world. This problem will unfortunately get worse until Jesus returns.

This is one thing that frustrates me as a lifelong Christian.

Many people say, "See how simple it is? Just obey God." But you see, it's not. If it were simple, Adam and Eve would have obeyed one "simple" rule in the garden. If it were simple, Jesus would not had to go through all the trouble of coming to the earth as a man and then suffering and dying.

If it were all a matter of "simply" obeying God, there would never have been a fallen world to begin with, and people talk as if it's a "simple" matter of choosing not to sin--when the reality is, we either WILL choose to sin or we have compulsions (and a sinful nature) that, on this fallen earth, will ultimately lead to our failure to perfectly obey God. So it's not a matter of "if only people would obey God," because we know that ultimately, they won't--not even the most steadfast. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I see it as, How can we do our best with His help in the meantime? And how do we work through all the inevitable calamity in all areas of life?

I'm just not into Christianity that denies reality, and I don't think God is either, or He would have never sent Jesus to begin with.

 

[Stephen100]

...yeah, hilarious.

If you've never been married, and therefore never divorced (in my case I've been divorced once, and on the verge of divorce several times), it's pretty rich for you to pass judgment on anyone who has.

Humans are imperfect, whether they are Christian or not. Throw two humans into a marriage, they're both going to make mistakes.

It is...naive, at best...to say how "simple" it is to obey God's word on this subject. I've said before that if people would obey God, a lot of problems would be solved...but simple? Negative.

I haven't judged anybody, so please don't speak lies against me. You don't realize that we are talking about eternity. When we stand before heaven, we will wish to God that we had made more of an effort to obey His commandments. But then it will be too late. The truth is, if we love God, we will keep His commandments. There are no excuses.

 

[Stephen100]

This is one thing that frustrates me as a lifelong Christian.

Many people say, "See how simple it is? Just obey God." But you see, it's not. If it were simple, Adam and Eve would have obeyed one "simple" rule in the garden. If it were simple, Jesus would not had to go through all the trouble of coming to the earth as a man and then suffering and dying.

If it were all a matter of "simply" obeying God, there would never have been a fallen world to begin with, and people talk as if it's a "simple" matter of choosing not to sin--when the reality is, we either WILL choose to sin or we have compulsions (and a sinful nature) that, on this fallen earth, will ultimately lead to our failure to perfectly obey God. So it's not a matter of "if only people would obey God," because we know that ultimately, they won't--not even the most steadfast. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I see it as, How can we do our best with His help in the meantime? And how do we work through all the inevitable calamity in all areas of life?

I'm just not into Christianity that denies reality, and I don't think God is either, or He would have never sent Jesus to begin with.

Jesus said "If you love me, keep my commandments." Yes, it's that simply. The truth is, most people DON'T WANT to keep his commandments. They make excuses like "It's too hard" or "Nobody is perfect." This is just a cop out. Sure, we will often make mistakes. But the problem is that Christians today are trying to twist God's Scriptures for the purpose of condoning sin. They hate God's commandments so they just pick and choose what they want to obey, and then get offended at people like me who speaks the truth on this subject.

 

[Stephen100]

I think anyone that thinks that they are not in a place where they need instruction or correction, is the same that has fallen to a prideful heart. We are supposed to love correction and instruction. Yet I see the majority of "Christians" not only hate it, but preach against it. Awaken to righteousness, people.

I will boldly say that divorce is NOT the will of God, because it is the truth.

Yes, I totally agree.

 

[MissCris]

I haven't judged anybody, so please don't speak lies against me. You don't realize that we are talking about eternity. When we stand before heaven, we will wish to God that we had made more of an effort to obey His commandments. But then it will be too late. The truth is, if we love God, we will keep His commandments. There are no excuses.

I am perfectly aware of what we're talking about. Thanks, though.

The truth is, if we love God, we will fall on our knees and thank him for sending his Son to save our sorry...behinds.

Because ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God...sound familiar?

 

[seoulsearch]

I haven't judged anybody, so please don't speak lies against me. You don't realize that we are talking about eternity. When we stand before heaven, we will wish to God that we had made more of an effort to obey His commandments. But then it will be too late. The truth is, if we love God, we will keep His commandments. There are no excuses.

But you do realize that if you believe that people can actually keep God's commandments perfectly, they are adhering to a works-based belief system that is not humanly possible nor valid? "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

That's what the entire Old Testament is about--keeping God's commandments. How well did the people do? Have you ever read Leviticus? Are you ready to obey all 613 commandments and regulations? After all, you love God. Surely, you can do what He says, and perfectly, right? You're saying it's a matter of choice.

In reality, it was an epic failure.

And that's why God sent Jesus, to do what we could not do ourselves. To declare what you are saying: "Just obey God's commands," and expect that people can and will do this perfectly is to nullify the entire reason Jesus came to give us salvation in the first place.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds as if you are saying you are capable of obeying God's commands simply by choice? With no mention of grace, total reliance upon God, or the fact that only through Him can we do anything pleasing to Him in the first place...

Do you believe that obeying God is simply a matter of willpower? I'm not criticizing, just wondering where your core beliefs here are coming from.

 

[seoulsearch]

I think anyone that thinks that they are not in a place where they need instruction or correction, is the same that has fallen to a prideful heart. We are supposed to love correction and instruction. Yet I see the majority of "Christians" not only hate it, but preach against it. Awaken to righteousness, people.

I will boldly say that divorce is NOT the will of God, because it is the truth.

Yes, divorce is not God's will.

And so I will boldly say that neither is obesity, child abuse, smoking (I'm amazed at how many Christian people I've met smoke certain things and seem to have no regard to the fact that they are illegal), or logging into a computer and watching people on the screen have sex.

But these things happen every day.

And for each sin, I will also boldly declare that God offers grace, forgiveness, and a new life.

 

[jimmydiggs]

I have been a Christian for about 4 years but I've been single for nearly 9 years. I gave up on relationships a long time ago, for my own reasons. But the reason I also choose to remain single as a Christian is because I don't see much difference in the churches compared to the secular world. Many Christian men refuse to lead the way God intended men to lead, and many Christian women hate submission.

I've come across very few Christian women who are willing to submit to their husband's leadership, even if their husband is leading them the right way. If I ever changed my mind and decided to find a wife, which I very much doubt, I would want her to submit to my authority. My duty as a husband would be to love, honor, and protect her. BUT, the difficulty comes with the word "protect." Let me elaborate:

Quite often the word protect is misunderstood as possessive or controlling. If a husband told his wife not to do something because he wanted to protect her, the wife might twist it and accuse him of being possessive. I could give some examples,. but first I would like to hear people's opinions on what I've said so far. What are your thoughts on submission?

Thanks

In the west, feminism is quite pervasive.

 

[seoulsearch]

Something that always amazes me is that people always say, "Well, if only people would just do as God says..." (as if this is some kind of miraculous revelation.)

The first people on earth were given ONE command: "Don't eat that fruit." And guess what happened? If Adam and Eve couldn't obey one command, how well will the rest of us do with 613 Old Testament regulations... or even the most basic Ten?

Forgive me for being naive, but it seems very strange to me that others would be arrogant (?) enough to say, "All anyone needs to do is obey God's commands," because what they're essentially saying is, "Yeah, I know Adam and Eve disobeyed God's ONE command. But I believe I can do better."

Uh... ok. Good luck with that. And please forgive me for not believing you.

 

[Ariel82]

that bug tricked me. I nearly jumped up to get a tissue to swat it. lol ............back to subject at hand. ... I believe most marriages do better when both are considered equal and that they submit to each other.

for example many do not quote this scripture. I scanned the thread and didn't see it..........

1 Corinthians 7:3-4

New King James Version (NKJV)

[SUP]3 [/SUP]Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. [SUP]4 [/SUP]The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

IN a Christian marriage a wife and a husband have authority over the other person and they are joint together in love and a common vision for the future. or at least they should be. for a husband truly to understand how a wife should submit to him, he has to understand how to submit to Christ and how to lead like Christ does.

my husband says he finds it better to just ask me to do something very very nice instead of trying to command me to do it. He get better results that way


normally we don't have issues with authority or submission because we both want the other person to be happy and joyful and are both willing to give up small comforts or our own happiness to ensure the other persons, because that is what TRUE love is: unconditional and sacrificial. just as Jesus loved the church and was willing to die for her.