Hey everyone,
What was the most influential piece of criticism you've ever received, and how did you respond to it?
A recent happening on the threads reminded me of my own--a prison inmate with LWOP (life without parole) who once wrote me, "Kim, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart? You only correspond with me to use me, and you only help people in order to benefit yourself." (One interesting thing about trying to talk to people in extreme situations about God is the challenging way they will pick apart your character.) And, interestingly, I had just declined his request to send him money.
Something that's always intrigued me is an incidence in the Bible where a man named Shimnei curses David, and as David's men prepare to kill him, David tells them to let him speak, because maybe he has something worthy to say as far as pointing out David's personal faults. (Interestingly, on his deathbed, David tells Solomon to annihilate the guy, but that's something for another thread.)
This is what I've learned to do in the face of criticism--I take it to the people who know me best and ask them, "Is this who I really am? Do you believe this applies to me? Will you pray about it and tell me what God's trying to do with me in this area?" I go to the people I trust the most who aren't afraid to tell it like it is, because if I listen to just anyone, I'll never get anywhere.
I also often find myself in a no-win situation (people either tell me I'm too frank or else too timid), so I decided long ago that all I can do is be me, try to let God improve me daily, and if I make a few friends along the way, great; if not, well, we're never alone with God, right? I once asked God whom I should listen to when it came to criticism because I don't want to miss something important He's trying to teach me. After a lot of fasting and prayer, I believe God has told me that when someone corrects me in gentleness, He is behind it, and that's when I've learned to really pay attention.
How about the rest of you? Do you have healthy ways of dealing with criticism (please share!)? Or are you still trying to get over something, or do you not know where to start? (Maybe we can help each other.)
As I was thinking about my ideas for this thread, what breaks my heart most are when I hear about people who have grown up or been in relationships in which they are criticized all the time. Maybe they grew up being constantly told by someone, "You're... ugly, fat, stupid, lazy, etc." I always want to give them a hug and tell them what a beautiful, special person they are, even if we're both wiping away tears.
Where do you stand when it comes to being criticized, and, if this applies, how have you learned to overcome it, or allow it to make you better?
(As singles, I do think this is an important topic--for those of us hoping to marry someday, handling criticism in a Godly manner will be an important part of maintaining a marriage.)
God bless and thank you for your thoughts!
What was the most influential piece of criticism you've ever received, and how did you respond to it?
A recent happening on the threads reminded me of my own--a prison inmate with LWOP (life without parole) who once wrote me, "Kim, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart? You only correspond with me to use me, and you only help people in order to benefit yourself." (One interesting thing about trying to talk to people in extreme situations about God is the challenging way they will pick apart your character.) And, interestingly, I had just declined his request to send him money.
Something that's always intrigued me is an incidence in the Bible where a man named Shimnei curses David, and as David's men prepare to kill him, David tells them to let him speak, because maybe he has something worthy to say as far as pointing out David's personal faults. (Interestingly, on his deathbed, David tells Solomon to annihilate the guy, but that's something for another thread.)
This is what I've learned to do in the face of criticism--I take it to the people who know me best and ask them, "Is this who I really am? Do you believe this applies to me? Will you pray about it and tell me what God's trying to do with me in this area?" I go to the people I trust the most who aren't afraid to tell it like it is, because if I listen to just anyone, I'll never get anywhere.
I also often find myself in a no-win situation (people either tell me I'm too frank or else too timid), so I decided long ago that all I can do is be me, try to let God improve me daily, and if I make a few friends along the way, great; if not, well, we're never alone with God, right? I once asked God whom I should listen to when it came to criticism because I don't want to miss something important He's trying to teach me. After a lot of fasting and prayer, I believe God has told me that when someone corrects me in gentleness, He is behind it, and that's when I've learned to really pay attention.
How about the rest of you? Do you have healthy ways of dealing with criticism (please share!)? Or are you still trying to get over something, or do you not know where to start? (Maybe we can help each other.)
As I was thinking about my ideas for this thread, what breaks my heart most are when I hear about people who have grown up or been in relationships in which they are criticized all the time. Maybe they grew up being constantly told by someone, "You're... ugly, fat, stupid, lazy, etc." I always want to give them a hug and tell them what a beautiful, special person they are, even if we're both wiping away tears.
Where do you stand when it comes to being criticized, and, if this applies, how have you learned to overcome it, or allow it to make you better?
(As singles, I do think this is an important topic--for those of us hoping to marry someday, handling criticism in a Godly manner will be an important part of maintaining a marriage.)
God bless and thank you for your thoughts!
