There's so much I could say to a lot of you to prove you wrong, but that's not my concern. I don't think anyone here has really shared the concern this woman has for her families life! Take into consideration if you were her in her situation, what would you think Christ would have you do? She's openin up her feeling to us in expectation that The Lord will bring her clarity through someone. So be gentle as Christ would be gentle to you,..
I feel this woman's concern, and it grieves me deeply. For I agree with her 100%, she is right to be concerned as she is. If this is such of a serious issue for her to confess this and seek admonition from people she doesn't even know, then we are I'm turn to be serious in all due respect. If I were to see this through her eyes, I'd be seeking counsel from God directly. But most of the time He guides us indirectly. So what we as proclaiming believers are to see this through Gods eyes the best we can (Note: we cannot see everything through His eyes, but from what He has revealed to us about how He sees, we can get a sense). So, my best attempt to give a helpful answer to this woman would be; Pray day and night for The Lord to save your husband. From the looks of it, how you describe his behavior, it doesn't seem like he is saved. He may be Elect of God, but we ultimately don't know that until he is saved (Note: every Elect eventually becomes saved). So I would advise to assume that he is not saved and work towards the end of seeking his salvation. If the more you preach to him the conviction from God about his behavior, he will feel convicted and know his mistakes and repent (if he is saved that is). If not, he will only delve deeper into his sin and it will overcome him. Pray every day, all day and night. But try not to let others know that you're struggling. Stay optimistic, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Even if the worst happens, God will see you through it and work the worst towards good[: (Romans 8:28). Look up where Paul speaks of marriage, I can't remember where exactly but it's where he says to the husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. This is how God sees a sacred marriage,. If you are living in an unsacred marriage, the only thing you can do is pray that God sanctifies it and makes it sacred. Only He is able to bring about such a change.
Many blessings to you My Sister, may the peace of God be with you[:
(Not that I'm going to use this to wag my finger at others!)