Unbelieving friends

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AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
Aug 2, 2011
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Not trying to convince anyone, I'd just like to get some perspective on this by asking a few questions.

Last night I was thinking about James where it says that if you're a friend of the world, you're an enemy of God. Do you have friends who are not Christian (or are "Christian" but don't really believe)? And by friend, I'm not referring to the new "facebook" definition of friend; I'm talking about someone you intentionally hang out with at least a couple times a month for leisurely purposes.

If you have a friend or friends who are not Christian, do you desire for them to come to Christ?

What kinds of things do you do to help them find a relationship with God?

Is it okay for us to have non-Christian friends just for leisure, with no real intention of pointing them towards God?
 
Even in a leisurely setting your light should shine and perhaps they might follow The Lord. I've found it provides an excellent opportunity to testify. But it can be delicate. If you come off as self-righteous and judgmental you may find yourself off the invite list for future gatherings. :)
 
I think it's in 1 Corinthians it says somewhere that bad company corrupts good morals. Would that apply? Depends on how you look at it I guess. But I just thought maybe I'd give everyone who reads this some food for thought.
 
I do have friends like that. Most of them are unbelievers ->or they are looking/searching for truth. I like my friends. I talk to them. They know that I'm a christian. They know that they can ask me an advice or questions. But-I do respect their choices. Actually-my friend said something to me yesterday. She said that she likes that I respect her choices. She knows that I might not agree with her-or might not like somethng->but I never make her feel bad or less spiritual (idk how to explain it). I never make her feel like I'm in some way better thn her-just bc I'm ch.

Anyway-I can't force someone to believe in God. It should be their choice. I believe-> I'm in their lives for a reason-just like they are in mine. I pray for them. For example-there is one guy. We used to be friends-> but we kinda liked each other. But the fact that he is not ch anymore-made me realize that it will never work out. He has a gf now. But I still pray for him. I keep him in my prayers. Maybe I am one of those people who should pray for his soul to be saved.

And one more thing->I value my friends and our friendship. I don't want to cut them off -just cause they are not christians.
 
I hang out with unbelievers, socialise, friends with them. They know without a doubt Im a christian and I often talk about my faith...its hard not to. We are called to salt and light in the world. Bad company can corrupt, so my friends, even though not Christian, have good moral values. Im wise in who I spend time with saved or not. They have seen me go through many tough times in life and have also witness how I deal with those times. Its not just about speaking Gods word, its living it, being the kingdom, being love, being an example to them. Ive seen hard ground being ploughed around me, and I pray that one day those seeds will finally take root.
 
Well jesus came for the unbelievers , so if I can't be friends with them , it generally has to do with me more than them,, I can get along with pretty much anyone .,
 
Great thread, AAA.

I've had many friends who are unbelievers... and that's how I try to be a witness to them, by being a friend to them and developing a trusting relationship over time, which eventually grows to asking if they'd like to attend church or an event they might enjoy (especially if it's a chance for them to take their kids out and have fun.)

I really like what TwoFeet said about basically being a living witness to them... and praying that the seeds take root and grow. I once read that a person may be on a path that takes 15 steps to becoming a Christian or accepting Christ. Meeting you may be Step Number 7, and God may simply be calling you to get them from Step 7 to be primed and ready for Step 8 when it comes along.

We want as many people as possible to be saved, but I personally am uncomfortable with trying to take someone's hand and "drag them across the salvation finish line" as soon as possible. We may do more to turn them off than create an inviting presence for an open heart.
 
If you are strong enough to stay true to your own beliefs in the presence of people who disagree with you, then yes it's fine.

I would never try to convert somebody by forcing my opinion on them. If anything, I would just try to inspire them with my own life as a positive example. If my life isn't inspirational enough to do that...then I guess I have more "me work" to do, don't I? :)
 
AAAPlus said:
Not trying to convince anyone, I'd just like to get some perspective on this by asking a few questions.

Last night I was thinking about James where it says that if you're a friend of the world, you're an enemy of God. Do you have friends who are not Christian (or are "Christian" but don't really believe)? And by friend, I'm not referring to the new "facebook" definition of friend; I'm talking about someone you intentionally hang out with at least a couple times a month for leisurely purposes.

If you have a friend or friends who are not Christian, do you desire for them to come to Christ?

What kinds of things do you do to help them find a relationship with God?

Is it okay for us to have non-Christian friends just for leisure, with no real intention of pointing them towards God?
Click to expand...

Wow... very good topic.

I have thought about this a lot throughout the years. This is what I have come to understand about it in the past two years since I have been even more so separated from the world.

In order to be a friend with the world/unbelieving, you have to submit to them. Just as much as you have to submit to God in your relationship with Him.

I have found myself in the past submitting to the world in ways that were not in submission to God; snickering at jokes that I knew I shouldn't, going to places I knew I should not be, accepting views that I knew were ungodly, and even giving into many other temptations.

Things have changed very much in the past couple of years that I have been diligently seeking to please the Lord. I still find myself "in" the world but not "of" it. Not considering myself a friend of the world, I find myself more encouraged to share the gospel with them. Instead of giving into temptation, I resist it. Others see this and become curious about why I seem to be different in this way. Some approach with questions and it opens up the opportunity to tell them about our Lord Jesus.

Beforehand, when I was a friend with them, I walked as one of them and the light was hidden among them. Now that I have stepped out and no longer walk in darkness, the light is able to shine.

It was a difficult thing to do because of the attachment that I had to many people. However, one of them followed me and received Jesus last year. I didn't really expect that but I am very thankful to God that I was able to be used in this way through my obedience. I have known this man for over 15 years. He had been seeking in all those years and I didn't even know it because I was so distracted by not making a spectacle of myself to unbelievers.

I have VERY few friends now, but the ones that I do have are great treasures to me.

My encouragement to others is to step out and follow Jesus. You never know who else might follow too.
 
AAAPlus said:
If you have a friend or friends who are not Christian, do you desire for them to come to Christ?

What kinds of things do you do to help them find a relationship with God?

Is it okay for us to have non-Christian friends just for leisure, with no real intention of pointing them towards God?
Click to expand...

Well, I have a couple of friends who are not Christians and a couple who say they are but don't take it seriously. First of all, I grew up with these people, knew them since middle school, so, we have always been close and I consider them family in a way. Therefore, since they respect my beliefs and I respect theirs, I'm not going to shun them because they are not believers. I don't think that is what Christ would do, especially since he went to the sinners, hung out with them and tried to minister to them. So, I take it like this, I need to be the light to them. I'm not perfect and they see that I'm not perfect, but they also see that I am different at the same time.

So, to answer the first question, yes, I desire for them to come to Christ. To answer the second question, I talk about God with them and I try to get them to read a Christian book I think might be good for them or go to a Christian concert or things like that. For the third question, I don't think a Christian would not try to point them towards God, there are ways to talk about God in a respectful way to another person and if you truly are friends then they will know that is a part of your life.
 
I desire for all of my unbelieving friends to come to Christ.
But it's okay to take your time with people.
God should give us a sense of where each of them is spiritually, and what they're able to hear.

I think when we are caring enough about another person to ask God what we should say and do to connect with them, God will always show us.
 
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