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You have a wonderful attitude toward your parents and God definitely honors that! They may be more protective than most parents but that has been a blessing to you in many ways....their motivation is love for you and a desire to be godly parents.
It's normal and healthy to desire more freedom and as they see that you are responsible they will probably give you more freedom. You may have to talk to them honestly and respectfully and point out the logic of them giving you more opportunities to make your own choices. This is practice in 'living' and doing so within your parents protection and support is the way God intends for independence from your parents to grow.
I used to think the same about focusing on school and not working....but I've changed my mind about that
. There's a lot to learn in a new situation, especially about the value of money. A job can be an education all in itself; how to get along with others, how to function under authority (other than a parent), etc. Plus, this can give you a lot of self confidence. So if you can get a job working a few hours a week I think it would be good for you.
Praying for you and your parents...may the Spirit lead you into godly freedom while maintaining a good relationship with your parents.
It's normal and healthy to desire more freedom and as they see that you are responsible they will probably give you more freedom. You may have to talk to them honestly and respectfully and point out the logic of them giving you more opportunities to make your own choices. This is practice in 'living' and doing so within your parents protection and support is the way God intends for independence from your parents to grow.
I used to think the same about focusing on school and not working....but I've changed my mind about that
. There's a lot to learn in a new situation, especially about the value of money. A job can be an education all in itself; how to get along with others, how to function under authority (other than a parent), etc. Plus, this can give you a lot of self confidence. So if you can get a job working a few hours a week I think it would be good for you.Praying for you and your parents...may the Spirit lead you into godly freedom while maintaining a good relationship with your parents.
Don't let go of this memory or these feelings. Hold onto them for when you become a parent, that way you don't turn into your parents without realizing it (as what often happens).
I believe children should be taught to question authority, and even their parents if they feel their parents are wrong. That's not to say children should be allowed to disrespect their parents, but questioning authority doesn't have to be disrespectful.
I believe children should be taught to question authority, and even their parents if they feel their parents are wrong. That's not to say children should be allowed to disrespect their parents, but questioning authority doesn't have to be disrespectful.
TO be fair, that's a bit much. Not necessarily because you deserve freedom to do whatever the heck you like, but more because if your parents don't start to allow you to make your own decisions now, it's going to be a helluva lot harder for you to adapt to the big bad world once you do have to start making them.
They're scared that you aren't;
1. MAture enough to handle the world, and
2. Responsible enough to use your freedom wisely.
The catch is, the longer they keep you 'chained', so to speak, the more chance there'll be that you
1. Won't be able to handle the world, and
2. Will 'explode' and use your freedom very unwisely.
But like the guy above says, you don't have much choice but to either play their way or move out, if they won't discuss anything and take it all as an authority challenge instead of a discussion on easing you into the world.
Just don't get all sneaky. It really sucks when your relationship with your parents totally breaks down and you're like the same end of two magnets at each other. Keep it respectful.
They're scared that you aren't;
1. MAture enough to handle the world, and
2. Responsible enough to use your freedom wisely.
The catch is, the longer they keep you 'chained', so to speak, the more chance there'll be that you
1. Won't be able to handle the world, and
2. Will 'explode' and use your freedom very unwisely.
But like the guy above says, you don't have much choice but to either play their way or move out, if they won't discuss anything and take it all as an authority challenge instead of a discussion on easing you into the world.
Just don't get all sneaky. It really sucks when your relationship with your parents totally breaks down and you're like the same end of two magnets at each other. Keep it respectful.
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Thanks for such a thoughtful and humane response . I also think that they are over- protective. But equally they are acting out of good motives and I have no right to demand perfection ( as I see it) from them. While under their roof and under their care, i know that they are entitled to wholehearted obedience. So sneakiness will not taint my relationship with them. They are still very strict and at times it does chafe. But being a Christian is about doing what is right not what suits your own convenience. So tough as it can be, I will submit to their authority and in so doing submit to the authority of my Maker. I will have my independence soon enough and I can assure you that I will use it wisely. I conduct myself modestly and chastely because that is how I want to live my life not because I am being pressurised or forced to do so.
Well, I'm glad mostly, out of that whole statement, that you don't feel forced in any way to do anything, because that was my problem, I did feel so. You seem smart, though, and clearly have the ability to look at other angles even when they don't suit your desires. You don't demand perfection from people so you're already half way to having an easier life than the rest of the world!!