~Chuckle for the Day~

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Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
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the ghost turned out to be friendly & consented to pose for a snapshot. the photographer popped a bulb in his camera & took his picture. then he dashed to his studio, developed the negative & groaned. it was underexposed & completely blank.
moral: the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak!
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
9,176
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A wife's eulogy at her husband's funeral:

"Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was. They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life. Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!" That was my Norman! Always thinking of others !!!!!!


facepalm-monkey.jpg :LOL:

 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
1,135
113
A wife's eulogy at her husband's funeral:

"Norman needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record, so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was. They urgently needed to know, to save Norman's life. Tragically, I had never known his blood type, so I only had time to sit and say goodbye. I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!" That was my Norman! Always thinking of others !!!!!!

View attachment 259644 :LOL:
you have me laughing!
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
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stranger: "good morning doctor, i just wanted to drop by & tell you how much i benefited from your treatment"
doctor: "but you're not one of my patients".
stranger: "i know. but my uncle bill was & i'm his heir"!
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
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a cute girl ws giving a manicure to a man in the barbershop.
the man said, "how about a date later"?
she said, "i'm married".
"so call your husband & tell him you're going to visit a girlfriend".
she said, "you tell him yourself, he's shaving you"!
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
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Psychiatrist: Congratulations, sir, you're cured".
Patient: "some cure, before i was julius caesar, now i'm nobody".
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
1,135
113
"what kind of work do you do"?
"i work for the bureau of internal revenue"
"doesn't everybody"?
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
1,135
113
little girl: "grandpa, make like a frog".
grandpa: "what do you mean, make like a frog"?
little girl: "mommy said we're going to make a lot of money when you croak"!
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,225
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
a cute girl ws giving a manicure to a man in the barbershop.
the man said, "how about a date later"?
she said, "i'm married".
"so call your husband & tell him you're going to visit a girlfriend".
she said, "you tell him yourself, he's shaving you"!
My Dad would have laughed pretty hard at this one. He used to give straight razor shaves in his shop.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
1,135
113
about a pastor giving boring sermons week after week: "he lights up a room when he leaves it"!
 

Zandar

Well-known member
May 16, 2023
1,594
626
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This use the h word a couple times, sorry, but its pretty funny. (unless your emo).

 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,529
1,135
113
"do you know what a mental block is"?
"a street on which several psychiatrists live".