CRA Christians in Recovery (anonymous)

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Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
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MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2021 - LEARNING HOW TO GIVE UP HARD LABOUR
Audio for LEARNING HOW TO GIVE UP HARD LABOUR
Today is Labour Day and tomorrow many students, and some of us, return to places of education for a new season of learning and maturing. Coming out of addiction is like coming out of hard labour in the school of “hard knocks.” Trouble found us, and then we added to it by our own doings.
Thank God for these new days of work and learning that can be challenging, but do not need to be overwhelming. Jesus used a farming picture to help people understand what this means.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)
In the same way that an ox just doesn’t graze in the fields, we do not enter recovery to do nothing. Oxen have many tasks to perform: plowing, hauling, tramping seed to thresh it, turning a wheel to grind grain or send water along irrigation lines. The food supply of many relies upon the good work of oxen.

God created us for good works and He knew that just like the oxen we need to learn about various things we are not familiar with. When plowing, two oxen are fitted with a heavy wooden yoke on their necks and then a plough is attached to the yoke. A mature ox, familiar with the job, is paired with an immature one so together they pull a heavy load. The mature ox does most of the pulling while keeping the immature ox in line. In this way the job gets done efficiently with the immature ox learning from the mature one.
Jesus takes the heavy burden of sin from us and guides us into a wonderful life of purpose and meaning. We need to be united with Jesus so that when He moves, we move. When He stops, we stop. Jesus promises that if we stay close to Him, we will know a gentle and humble way that, even though it’s work, it will be restful rather than overwhelming. This is life as God intended.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Forgive me for the times I have made life more difficult by trying to do things my way. Thank You for this new season of learning and work. Help me to move at Your pace and follow Your directions in every task I undertake to do. Amen


©2021 Partners in Hope
"Amen"
Thank you for sharing.
'Praise God'


man-praying - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg
 

Mission21

Pathfinder
Mar 12, 2019
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MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2021 - LEARNING HOW TO GIVE UP HARD LABOUR
Audio for LEARNING HOW TO GIVE UP HARD LABOUR
Today is Labour Day and tomorrow many students, and some of us, return to places of education for a new season of learning and maturing. Coming out of addiction is like coming out of hard labour in the school of “hard knocks.” Trouble found us, and then we added to it by our own doings.
Thank God for these new days of work and learning that can be challenging, but do not need to be overwhelming. Jesus used a farming picture to help people understand what this means.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)
In the same way that an ox just doesn’t graze in the fields, we do not enter recovery to do nothing. Oxen have many tasks to perform: plowing, hauling, tramping seed to thresh it, turning a wheel to grind grain or send water along irrigation lines. The food supply of many relies upon the good work of oxen.

God created us for good works and He knew that just like the oxen we need to learn about various things we are not familiar with. When plowing, two oxen are fitted with a heavy wooden yoke on their necks and then a plough is attached to the yoke. A mature ox, familiar with the job, is paired with an immature one so together they pull a heavy load. The mature ox does most of the pulling while keeping the immature ox in line. In this way the job gets done efficiently with the immature ox learning from the mature one.
Jesus takes the heavy burden of sin from us and guides us into a wonderful life of purpose and meaning. We need to be united with Jesus so that when He moves, we move. When He stops, we stop. Jesus promises that if we stay close to Him, we will know a gentle and humble way that, even though it’s work, it will be restful rather than overwhelming. This is life as God intended.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Forgive me for the times I have made life more difficult by trying to do things my way. Thank You for this new season of learning and work. Help me to move at Your pace and follow Your directions in every task I undertake to do. Amen


©2021 Partners in Hope
"Help me to move at Your pace and follow Your directions.."
Amen.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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Today's morning meditation seems a custom fit for some individuals in our CRA Cabrillo meeting. Co-dependency always takes 2 or more people. One that takes from one that gives to excess. The second usually plays the part of the "enabler". The enabler grows accustomed to a constant role of a sort of surrogate parent. Feels responsible to and for the one that they are trying to help. Turning the situation around makes it difficult on all involved parties. It takes prayer, meditation and the kind of concern that a mother bird demonstrates when she must force one of her chicks out of the nest so it will learn to fly.

It takes love, courage and faith to gently urge the Co-dependent to learn to become more independent. So once again we can thank our Canadian friends a Partners in Hope Vancouver for blessing us with this blog.

SEP
7

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2021 - CO-DEPENDENCY
Audio for CO-DEPENDENCY
Co-dependency is a relationship addiction. People who are co-dependent often form relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive, and often abusive. A co-dependent person bases their identity and personal value on who they perceive themselves to be within the relationship. They often interact with the other person in a way that is harmful to their own well-being.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)
Contentment in life does not come from controlling or trying to please someone else, or from hoping they will meet our needs so that we can feel secure. Another person cannot love us enough or touch us deeply enough to satisfy the longing in our hearts. Only God can truly satisfy those longings. In a relationship one person has only limited responsibility for the other’s happiness. We have our own desires and dreams and we need to let others have theirs. We make our own mistakes and others make theirs. We need to forgive ourselves and others for the past mistakes we have made and determine to learn from them.
Fullness of life and real freedom from co-dependency can only be found when we are first rooted in a relationship with our Heavenly Father. God made us in His image, and we have great value in His sight. When we base our worth and identity around this truth, rather than on the opinions of others, we begin to experience peace, freedom, and security.
Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:4-5 NLT)

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I ask You to show me how to live in a way that honours You and honours others. Help me to love You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and to love others as myself. Fill me with Your love and give me wisdom to follow You in all my ways. Amen

©2021 Partners in Hope
More information on this and other related topics @ http://www.partnersinhope.ca/life-with-god-in-recovery-resources/
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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SEP
8

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2021 - THE WAY TO BECOME MATURE
Audio for THE WAY TO BECOME MATURE
The way to become mature in our recovery and in life in general is through prayer and meditation on the Bible. We need to daily seek conscious contact with God, praying for knowledge of His will for our lives and the power to carry it out. As we read the Scriptures, we become knowledgeable of God's character and, by obeying His principles, we learn how to live life to the full. Being able to quote the Scriptures is good, but it does not bring maturity. Maturity comes from obeying what the Scriptures say.
I have written to you who are God’s children because you know the Father. I have written to you who are mature in the faith because you know Christ, you who are, who existed from the beginning. I have written to you who are young in the faith because you are strong. God’s word lives in your hearts, and you have won your battle with the evil one. (1 John 2:14 NLT)
The philosophy and mentality of this world is vastly different from what God says in His Word. We know the trouble and heartache our chaotic lifestyle brought us, but now we are learning a more excellent way. We were once foolish, disobedient, hateful towards others, and sought pleasure in whatever our immoral minds desired. We were like immature children seeking every candy in the store. Now our life is being impacted by the love of God for us and we are learning to love others as ourselves

Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths. (Psalm 119:1-3 NLT)
As we follow the ways of God and faithfully obey His principles, we will become the mature person that God created us to be. We know that God has a plan for us that will prosper us and give us hope and a future, and we know that if we seek Him in all our ways, His plan will succeed.


Prayer: Heavenly Father, I want to be mature in my faith in You and in my knowledge of Your ways. Help me to be victorious in my battle with the evil one. Amen

©2021 Partners in Hope
More information on this and other related topics @ http://www.partnersinhope.ca/life-with-god-in-recovery-resources/
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2021 - STAYING SOBER - FACING TRAUMA
Audio for STAYING SOBER - FACING TRAUMA
We are exposed to traumatic events around the world by the 24-hour news cycle on television and on our digital devices. Whether it is the devastation of an event in a community or something inflicted on one person by another, we feel traumatized by the knowledge of these horrible events. News reports may also trigger memories in our own hearts of happenings that we suffered in the past. How do we get relief from the experience of this deep grief and pain?

What has been done cannot be undone. However, God can help us navigate through today by giving us peace and healing in our souls and in our bodies. Our first act must be to turn our hearts and thoughts towards God and allow Him to love and encourage us as we listen to what He has to say through the Scriptures as recorded in the Bible.
Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm. So do not be afraid. I am with you. Do not be terrified. I am your God. I will make you strong and help you. I will hold you safe in my hands. I always do what is right. (Proverbs 1:33 NIV, Isaiah 41:10 NIRV)

While healing of the mind and soul is a process that takes time, we don't need to hide from the past by pushing painful memories into the deep dark places in our soul. In God's presence, and often with the assistance of safe helpers, we can find ways to live well today. We can be set free from the traumas of our past. Jesus died on the cross for all sin and was resurrected from the dead proving the power of God over all evil – and that includes the evil traumas inflicted on us. Today is a new opportunity to reach out to this amazing God who promises to provide healing from our suffering.


The Spirit of the God who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you. So the God who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your bodies. He will do this because of his Spirit who lives in you. God saves suffering people while they suffer. He speaks to them while they are hurting. (Romans 8:11, Job 36:15 NIRV)



Prayer: Loving God, it is difficult to face the pain buried deep in my soul. Help me to believe that You are the Power greater than myself who can heal and restore me from the trauma I have experienced. Come and be with me in those dark and fearful memories and help me hear Your voice speaking peace to those places where I hurt. Thank you for caring for me. Amen



©2021 Partners in Hope


While healing of the mind and soul is a process that takes time, we don't need to hide from the past by pushing painful memories into the deep dark places in our soul. In God's presence, and often with the assistance of safe helpers, we can find ways to live well today. We can be set free from the traumas of our past. Jesus died on the cross for all sin and was resurrected from the dead proving the power of God over all evil – and that includes the evil traumas inflicted on us. Today is a new opportunity to reach out to this amazing God who promises to provide healing from our suffering.

The Spirit of the God who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you. So the God who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your bodies. He will do this because of his Spirit who lives in you. God saves suffering people while they suffer. He speaks to them while they are hurting. (Romans 8:11, Job 36:15 NIRV)

Prayer: Loving God, it is difficult to face the pain buried deep in my soul. Help me to believe that You are the Power greater than myself who can heal and restore me from the trauma I have experienced. Come and be with me in those dark and fearful memories and help me hear Your voice speaking peace to those places where I hurt. Thank you for caring for me. Amen


©2021 Partners in Hope
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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I tested positive for C-19 Delta yesterday and I'm in a quarrantine hotel. Romans 8:11 is truly a comfort today.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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Did you ever try 12 ste plan
Did I ever try the 12 step plan? Is that what you meant to ask? Yes, Daily, according to the Bible.

The Oxford group Taught Ebby Thatcher and he introduced it to Bill W. Then Biil introduced the concepts to Dr. Bob. They wrote AA aka the Big Book.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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Did you ever try 12 ste plan
Jesus is the one and only higher power. Step 3 the rest is about getting in touch with our past and our true selves. Only constant contact with the True Lord and seeking his will for our lives is the path to redemption and serenity.

Yes, work is required and faith.
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
9,423
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Jesus is the one and only higher power. Step 3 the rest is about getting in touch with our past and our true selves. Only constant contact with the True Lord and seeking his will for our lives is the path to redemption and serenity.

Yes, work is required and faith.
'Amen'
"For myself, Step 3 was the turning point in my life."
'Praise God'


330px-UNKNOWN_MEDALLION_-_POSSIBLY_AADAC_or_NA_b_-_Flickr_-_woody1778a.jpg
 

Cabrillo

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Sep 6, 2021
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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2021 - WISDOM TO KNOW
Audio for WISDOM TO KNOW
To live with wisdom in recovery requires humility. We need to acknowledge, “I don’t really know what is best for me but I’m willing to try new ways and learn from the experience of others.” God is the source of all wisdom and His principles for life can be found in the Bible. People who have walked this path before us may also have helpful experience they can share. The wisdom we retain and act on will be determined by our choice of following the instructions in God’s Word and the advice of a mentor or friend, or by choosing to operate on our own self-will and knowledge.

The Lord is the source of wisdom; knowledge and understanding come from his mouth. If you listen to him, you will understand what is just and fair and how to do what is right. You will gain wisdom, and knowledge will bring you joy. (Proverbs 2:6, 9 ERV)
We are wise people when we desire to put God’s principles into effect in every aspect of their daily life and follow the advice of those who walk with God. We do not need advice from people who act like us and speak things we want to hear. We need to listen to people who are not afraid to contradict our dysfunctional thinking and tell us the truth, even though it may be difficult for us to hear.
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. (Proverbs 13:20 ERV)
Familiar thoughts often roll around in our heads challenging the truth of what we are being taught. If we dwell on old thought patterns, we will soon find ourselves feeling discontented. A solid life in recovery requires that we learn to be wise in how we think and act and develop a willing heart to learn new ways.

Dear friend, take my advice; it will add years to your life. I’m writing out clear directions to Wisdom Way, I’m drawing a map to Righteous Road. I don’t want you ending up in blind alleys, or wasting time making wrong turns. Hold tight to good advice; don’t relax your grip. Guard it well—your life is at stake! (Proverbs 4:10-13 MSG)


Prayer: Loving God, I ask You to help me make wise choices on the right way forward. Give me the wisdom to stay close to You and trust Your guidance in all my affairs. Amen

©2021 Partners in Hope
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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Thank you, Bob, for continuing to share this truly wonderful resource with us :) It really strikes at the heart of the matter, doesn't it? I had all but forgotten about it in your absence, and am grateful to have the reminder upon your return.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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It starts our daily Bible studies. Even without a computer it's available on smart phone.
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
420
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Partners in Hope, Vancouver BC. Is where I get the daily meditations now. They are not trying to sell books. Just straight recovery advice from the word and Christians who care. When we got started with CRA here I got their permission to post their blogs as long as it stays free!
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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SEP
11

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2021 - HATING EVIL, LOVING GOD
Audio for HATING EVIL, LOVING GOD
Many of us blame God because bad things happened to us when we were powerless to change the situation. Some of us might even have gone as far as to say we hate God because of the evil that happened to us. We see all kinds of suffering in society but hear that God is powerful. If He is good and loves people, why doesn't He do something?

From the beginning, the devil was a murderer. He has never obeyed the truth. There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his natural language. He does this because he is a liar. He is the father of lies. (John 8:44 NIRV)

The truth is that anything in life that can be described as lying, cheating, stealing, killing, or destroying comes from the devil. Life in our addiction was too often life under the influence of the devil and the same can be said for others who are, or were, addicted to substances, money, power, sex etc. God saw the suffering of mankind and paid the price to turn things around.

Jesus wants each of us to live in a loving relationship with God and enjoy His peace and power operating in our lives every day. Jesus died a horrible death on the cross to give us power over the works of the devil and a new life in loving relationship with the all-powerful God who makes everything new.

A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so they may have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way. The Son of God came to destroy the devil’s work. (John 10:10, 1 John 3:8 NIRV)

God wants to live in us and enable us to be agents of change, not only in our own life, but in the lives of our friends and neighbours. God invites us to join Him in bringing goodness to those around us, and to each situation we encounter. It is time to put the blame for trouble where it belongs – on the devil – and turn our will and our lives over to the care of God who will bring good out of even the worst evil we may have encountered.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank You for Jesus who came to set me free from the works of the devil. Help me to follow Jesus, and be part of the solution to, rather than part of, the world’s problems. Amen

©2021 Partners in Hope
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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SEP
18

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2021 - FOCUSED AND EFFICIENT
Audio for FOCUSED AND EFFICIENT
Years of aimless living in addiction kept us from becoming focused, well-organized, and productive. As we move forward we need to be humble enough to admit that we have efficiency gaps in our current way of living and we need to let God and others teach us new skills.


Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16 NIV)
Our attention runs in many directions. We've lived with distractions for years and now it takes effort to set an agenda for the day and prioritize each thing we need to do. As we focus on doing the most important things first, then one at a time our list will be completed. We need to pay less attention to our phones and allow others to take care of their own responsibilities. We need to keep our attention focused on the task at hand. In the same way we push ourselves in the gym to build stronger muscles by pushing through pain and sweat, so we will have to "push through" and keep working on important things when we are tired and don't really feel like continuing. If we pray and ask God, He will help us in these practical things.
Our daily priority is to give focused time to God so we can communicate with Him and allow Him to encourage and guide us in the best path for each day. Spending time with God reading the Bible and praying will be challenging for us. Our first step to becoming more efficient, is just to begin.
Jesus kept a focused agenda, even when He was heading to painful suffering and death on the cross. We are encouraged to follow His example in our daily routine even when we are not looking forward to facing our assignment.
... fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2 NIV)

Prayer: Lord Jesus, You had many distractions to deal with each day but You stayed focused on what Your Heavenly Father had planned for You to do. Help me to seek God’s will for my life and stay focused on what He has given me to do. Amen



©2021 Partners in Hope
 

Cabrillo

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SEP
19

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2021 - SUNDAY PSALM – HOW DID I EVER GET TO THIS PLACE?
Audio for SUNDAY PSALM – HOW DID I EVER GET TO THIS PLACE?
My Lord, you heard my groaning. You can hear my sighs. My heart is pounding. My strength is gone, and I am going blind. Because of my sickness, my friends and neighbors will not visit me; my family will not come near me. My enemies say bad things about me. They are spreading lies and rumors. They talk about me all the time. But I am like a deaf man and cannot hear. I am like someone who cannot speak. I am like those who cannot hear what people are saying about them. I cannot answer to prove my enemies wrong. Lord, you must defend me. Lord my God, you must speak for me. That’s why I prayed, “Don’t let my enemies smile at my pain. Full of pride, they will laugh if I stumble and fall.” I know I am guilty of doing wrong. I cannot forget my pain. (Psalm 38:9-17 ERV)
Many of us have come from an environment that is described above by the writer of this Psalm. When we began to make unwise decisions, we had no idea where our choices would take us. We never gave a thought to why our behaviour would turn our family, friends and neighbours away from us. We never thought we would get to a place where we could not bear to hear what people were saying about us.

We know that we are not alone. Many people in the world of addiction are like us. Most made foolish choices and were naïve to the way their dependency led them and how far it took them down. That’s why the writer of the Psalm turned to God for help. When we get to that place where we hate what we are doing and call on God, He will be there to help us. The significant question for each of us to ask ourselves is, “Do I hate what I have been doing or just hate the suffering I have to endure?”


Like the Psalmist, we must come to God and admit that we are guilty of wrongdoing. We cannot deal with our pain on our own. Our Heavenly Father waits for us to turn our hearts towards Him. When we do, He adopts us as His children, and we have all the power of the Kingdom of Heaven to help us.


Heavenly Father, I confess that my life is a mess of my own making. I have done wrong things and made poor choices. I want to leave all that behind. I want to be born again into Your kingdom and follow Your ways. Please help me! Amen


©2021 Partners in Hope
 

Cabrillo

Active member
Sep 6, 2021
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SEP
19


“Do I hate what I have been doing or just hate the suffering I have to endure?”
That's a good question. Are we sick and tired of feeling sick and tired or offending the Lord? I myself actually have had many problems keeping my flesh out of the world and my own psychopathy. When I grew up I envied the grown men of my family got together to drink, bar-b-que and watch sports every weekend. That was a huge part of our working class culture. Heavy drinking was treated like a reward for a week of hard work on the docks or in the tuna cannery. Drinking was not considered a sin at all. Nor was occasional drunkenness. Just don't become a drunkard!

When I came clean to my parents about my alcoholism, while in a 21 day rehab (aka 'Spin dry program) my mother went off, in denial. "You're not an alcoholic my mom scolded me. You just have to learn to control yourself like everybody else." It seemed nearly inconceivable to her that I wasn't like my uncles or couldn't enjoy social drinking like probably ever other adult male on both sides of the family.

Daily drinking and weekend binges was celebrated. Not condemned. Although # family members perished from alcohol related complications. But they were in their mid-late 60's. Life expentancy for senior citizens wasn't what it is now. After I got saved she said that I'd been brainwashed. Well my brain needed to be washed.

Addiction is a family & social disease. It affects everybody. Especially if we came from a co-dependent family. Plus our circles of friends are usually addicts, enablers and or co-dependent. Staying clean & sober is much more of a challenge when we aren't expected to stay that way on a long term basis. Mom would go to the beauty shop and dad & I would split a 12 pack.

That's why we need the Lords help. Temptations often come from loved ones who just want us to fit into their definition normal. We must adjust our free will into Gods will. Now that's the hard part. Nearly impossible if we think we must stop before asking (pleading) for Gods help.
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
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That's a good question. Are we sick and tired of feeling sick and tired or offending the Lord? I myself actually have had many problems keeping my flesh out of the world and my own psychopathy. When I grew up I envied the grown men of my family got together to drink, bar-b-que and watch sports every weekend. That was a huge part of our working class culture. Heavy drinking was treated like a reward for a week of hard work on the docks or in the tuna cannery. Drinking was not considered a sin at all. Nor was occasional drunkenness. Just don't become a drunkard!

When I came clean to my parents about my alcoholism, while in a 21 day rehab (aka 'Spin dry program) my mother went off, in denial. "You're not an alcoholic my mom scolded me. You just have to learn to control yourself like everybody else." It seemed nearly inconceivable to her that I wasn't like my uncles or couldn't enjoy social drinking like probably ever other adult male on both sides of the family.

Daily drinking and weekend binges was celebrated. Not condemned. Although # family members perished from alcohol related complications. But they were in their mid-late 60's. Life expentancy for senior citizens wasn't what it is now. After I got saved she said that I'd been brainwashed. Well my brain needed to be washed.

Addiction is a family & social disease. It affects everybody. Especially if we came from a co-dependent family. Plus our circles of friends are usually addicts, enablers and or co-dependent. Staying clean & sober is much more of a challenge when we aren't expected to stay that way on a long term basis. Mom would go to the beauty shop and dad & I would split a 12 pack.

That's why we need the Lords help. Temptations often come from loved ones who just want us to fit into their definition normal. We must adjust our free will into Gods will. Now that's the hard part. Nearly impossible if we think we must stop before asking (pleading) for Gods help.
So well shared. I hate having any kind of lust within, yet it seems no matter how much I try, I still do.
Lately I have come to truly appreciate the possibility of suffering for real with our Savior, but at the same time I confess it scres the pants off of me, so I ask the Father for His gift of courage, and this has made me to sense His presence and more of what my personal goals are and will be acheived. No, I will not do anything for He is working in me, and you too. Thank yo for your wonder, truthful shaem and I believ ewith your mom, that you are not addicted... May Jesus Yeshua get thast enemi=ys trickery out of your mind and exhaul you in the Spirit. All will be well, I believe, God blsee you always.