CRA Christians in Recovery (anonymous)

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Just thinking this morning that some passages of scripture seem to make some comparisons of power hungry people with excessive drinking. Maybe passages in Proverbs or Psalms. It never really struck me how powerful a grip the use of alcohol had on me and I haven't had a drink since 4 Aug 1989. One exception. Had a shot of Nyquil around 1993 for bad flu and buzzed me enough to just sweat out the flu. Thinking back, at an early on AA meet, one guy broke down in tears, Struck me as affected or ridiculous. I don't recall if that was before or after I went to my brothers funeral around the 28th of the same month. Hadn't been face to face with any relatives for about 14 years at the time. Asked the undertaker why all the makeup. Jaundice. Death certificate read cause of death cardiomyopathy and I am almost certain that it mentioned alcohol as contributing factor for that disorder. What struck me was that as kids he wasn't much of a drinker. And then I told an aunt about this use of alcohol as contributing to his death and possibly AA would have been helpful. She responded that he wasn't that bad as to need AA. Just now as I am writing this I realize her response is possibly in line with someone in need of ACOA and possibly Alanon as she had a husband die after drinking alcohol with his prescribed medication for detoxing. I recall now that occurred in late 60's or early 70's. I'm leaning toward 60's as I recall that my mother and I would take beer to the hospital where her husband was detoxing and he would be hallucinating telling us to look at the movie being shot in the parking lot with indians. I don't recall what effect the beer had, and not knowing anything about alcoholic impairment my thought was he was getting some drugs that were causing hallucinations and I would like to get hold of some as I enjoyed the effects of LSD at this time. I am sorting things out as I write this. I have never before given any of this much thought. And now I am almost certain this occurred in the 60's.
 

Bingo

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Feb 9, 2019
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"Thank you for sharing!"
I know this to be, alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful.
Thank God for AA and a sober life."
'Praise God'


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"Thank you for sharing!"
I know this to be, alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful.
Thank God for AA and a sober life."
'Praise God'


View attachment 243973
Your post reminds me that the mention of the word alcoholic in our house would really get a fight going. Not sure if any were aware of AA. I remember seeing the AA symbol in a building across the street from the Pasadena City Hall building and wondering what it was and that may have been 1979. Oh yea, on meeting my father at age 12 and going to a numismatic event at YMCA I recall seeing the serenity prayer on the wall. That was the 2nd and last time I saw my father till my brothers funeral 1989. I didn't want to see him anymore because he threatened to break my legs if he found out I smoked. My mother hated smoking too. I enjoyed it. I will probably post a weird event about screwy perspectives in that regard. AA is OK but Jesus is the Way.
 

Bingo

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Feb 9, 2019
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"A spiritual happening over two decades ago is how I found my way to the
twelve step programs of AA. And it is well documented pertaining to the necessity
of maintaining a spiritual consciousness in relationship with working the 'steps'.
'I have witnessed many testimonies of God being a profound revelation of help in being
delivered from alcohol, and maintaining sobriety, and I stand by the fact that God

has been instrumental in my sobriety for over two decades, ODAAT.
'
Also, I am thankful of my sponsor."
"Praise God"...I Came...I Came to...I Came to believe.


frame-91455_640 - Copy (9) - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Co...jpg
 
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Now after looking at the start of this thread I wonder if Calibob is still alive and around. Sometime I get twilight zone sensations. Can't recall ever having such 'sensations' prior to being on this chat.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
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Now after looking at the start of this thread I wonder if Calibob is still alive and around. Sometime
I get twilight zone sensations. Can't recall ever having such 'sensations' prior to being on this chat.
Calibob became Cabrillo after losing electronic devices and information, and has not been on site since Aug 3 :unsure:

I was in contact with him at that time, but have not heard from him since
:cry:
 
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Pray that Demi777 is doing ok.
 
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Sometime I feel like a rat, sometime I don't. I probably should have felt and should have continued to feel like a rat long ago. Hours after a long conversation with a medicare insurance sales person that had some fair amount of ridiculous seeming laughter I thought of an ex I'll call K that I can't really talk about here except to say that things should have gone better and yet I think it was good fortune for K that we split up. The really maybe not so strange thing is that it was the thought of the laughter with Jellisa that got me feeling like a rat. And this little memory is all related to excessive drinking. I remember how I would on occasion think to myself that K should be used to being around drinkers as her mother even lived with us for a short while and would share her vodka with me, which I can't stand and would mix Greyhounds to make it tolerable. Now this is weird. I just recalled how our neighbor's Greyhound killed our little cat Maxwell. I was sure the dog was just way to big and didn't mean to kill Maxwell and I hurried and found a place to get another cat so K wouldn't feel so bad when she got home and found out that Maxwell was dead. K was a real animal lover and me too. And I better mention here since it came to mind about how I broke my neighbors shoulder blade for killing my cat when I was about 11 yrs old. And I ended up accosting him on at least two more occasions but later on we also became sort of partners in crime. I don't think his father ever held any high regard for me about breaking his shoulder blade. Strange, his father once saw me out in the alley and told the kid like a dog, sic him, and he ended up getting beat up again. Then many years later I read something about how Adolph Hitler had great contempt for people who were overly fond of animals and when I read that I thought back about my phase of Nazi admiration when I would draw swastika's and got a pair of what I thought of as Nazi boots. I think this was also about age 11. When I read what I have written here it seems strange as to how one thought triggers another and the flow seems erratic, maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe yes, toward the end particularly. LOL...LOL...This is sheer lunacy....Gene Wilder lunacy.
 
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This may be my last post as I have suddenly by a gradual realization come to find this chat as possibly suspect and possibly collusive in some ways. After a very helpful conversation with my Catholic neighbor about an extremely unusual encounter via this chat which occurred early this morning my whole 'little faith' is now in serious question and as the only other persons I can talk to regarding this occurrence are not readily available to consult I must stay in a state of limbo at least till I can make contact with possibly the Mennonite preacher in Lombard, IL.. Very uneasy feelings here. Strangest thing is that my Catholic neighbor is now presenting as possibly more in line with 'truth' than the Protestantism which I had embraced for the past several years. I need to stop here and do some serious praying regarding this matter as I also need consider calling on Anita at the local AoG assembly. Is it possible Catholicism is closer to 'truth' than is Protestantism?
 

JaumeJ

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Jul 2, 2011
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This may be my last post as I have suddenly by a gradual realization come to find this chat as possibly suspect and possibly collusive in some ways. After a very helpful conversation with my Catholic neighbor about an extremely unusual encounter via this chat which occurred early this morning my whole 'little faith' is now in serious question and as the only other persons I can talk to regarding this occurrence are not readily available to consult I must stay in a state of limbo at least till I can make contact with possibly the Mennonite preacher in Lombard, IL.. Very uneasy feelings here. Strangest thing is that my Catholic neighbor is now presenting as possibly more in line with 'truth' than the Protestantism which I had embraced for the past several years. I need to stop here and do some serious praying regarding this matter as I also need consider calling on Anita at the local AoG assembly. Is it possible Catholicism is closer to 'truth' than is Protestantism?
kBelieve Jesus Yeshua..............
 
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I am hoping for some reply regarding this chat as I posted a message for mgmnt. And to go on particularly concerning Catholicism which I am again in doubt as to the antagonism I hold for that religion. I don't recall any teachings of the RCC. Attended RCC grammar school for grades 1 to 7 and had religion classes and apparently complied with all necessary rituals to receive communion and confirmation. None of that teaching and ritual seemed significant. I am almost certain I would have some recollection of 'devotion' in some way if the RCC teachings were of any significance but there is no memories of God or Jesus or any sense of need of God or Jesus in my life. The only sense of Jesus I had was related to a picture of 'Jesus with crown of thorns' hanging on our wall at home, which was frightening to me. Now I am piecing together that it was this picture as having the only significance regarding any sense of God in my life and was and is totally dissociated from the RCC. I also recall the inexplicable appearance of a cloud in the sky at a very young age which gave an appearance very similar to the picture on the wall at home. This I believe I have mentioned one time recently and the recollection is so vague that it seems it could have been a dream except that I recall too many of the details of the event vividly with the exception of the cloud itself. But strangely, the approximate location of where in the sky relative to my location this cloud appeared is quite vivid as the memory of my location also is vivid. It seems this may have been around age 9 or 10. This entry is seemingly in response to a fairly lengthy discussion with my Catholic neighbor Monica. We agree to disagree. But I find my beliefs are always challenged and am becoming more convinced about 'strong holds'. I wonder what else I am unaware of. And now I wonder why Joseph Campbell with his idea of 'angels in his computer' pops up?
 

Magenta

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Jul 3, 2015
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I am hoping for some reply regarding this chat as I posted a message for mgmnt. And to go on particularly concerning Catholicism which I am again in doubt as to the antagonism I hold for that religion. I don't recall any teachings of the RCC. Attended RCC grammar school for grades 1 to 7 and had religion classes and apparently complied with all necessary rituals to receive communion and confirmation. None of that teaching and ritual seemed significant. I am almost certain I would have some recollection of 'devotion' in some way if the RCC teachings were of any significance but there is no memories of God or Jesus or any sense of need of God or Jesus in my life. The only sense of Jesus I had was related to a picture of 'Jesus with crown of thorns' hanging on our wall at home, which was frightening to me. Now I am piecing together that it was this picture as having the only significance regarding any sense of God in my life and was and is totally dissociated from the RCC. I also recall the inexplicable appearance of a cloud in the sky at a very young age which gave an appearance very similar to the picture on the wall at home. This I believe I have mentioned one time recently and the recollection is so vague that it seems it could have been a dream except that I recall too many of the details of the event vividly with the exception of the cloud itself. But strangely, the approximate location of where in the sky relative to my location this cloud appeared is quite vivid as the memory of my location also is vivid. It seems this may have been around age 9 or 10. This entry is seemingly in response to a fairly lengthy discussion with my Catholic neighbor Monica. We agree to disagree. But I find my beliefs are always challenged and am becoming more convinced about 'strong holds'. I wonder what else I am unaware of. And now I wonder why Joseph Campbell with his idea of 'angels in his computer' pops up?
My upbringing was similar: Catholic separate schools from K-8 and then given a choice,
went to a secular high school, as did the majority of my siblings (all but 1/10)... right down
to the thorn-crowned "Sacred Heart of Jesus" hanging in our dining room. Alongside the
queen :giggle: My closest sister and I have occasion to discuss these things from time to time,
and I find her memories and recollections invaluable for adding to and augmenting my own :)
 
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My upbringing was similar: Catholic separate schools from K-8 and then given a choice,
went to a secular high school, as did the majority of my siblings (all but 1/10)... right down
to the thorn-crowned "Sacred Heart of Jesus" hanging in our dining room. Alongside the
queen :giggle: My closest sister and I have occasion to discuss these things from time to time,
and I find her memories and recollections invaluable for adding to and augmenting my own :)
I transferred to secular in 8th. Back to Catholic 11th then jail in 12th but got GED and first NT but went up in smoke using to roll tobacco. No idea if 'Sacred Heart'. 1/2 but 1 of 2 dead so no help on memories. One real close friend I had growing up was closer than my brother but last time I saw him at brothers funeral 1989 he was happy to see me as it was maybe 20 yrs but I am almost sure something serious happened to him and as the saying goes 'I could feel daggers in my back' from his mothers' stare. I was delivered from his fate, lots of prison time and I felt his reaction addressing me as 'sir' was maybe even indicative of a lobotomy as I think his last time was done in Wyoming and they may have more aggressive rehabilitation. My addictions kept me from crime after my short jail time but my friends addiction was crime. Hard for me to understand. He also saved my life one time and then sent me a Christmas card in 1989 which I never responded to. I still feel bad about the whole thing going back to maybe 1962' One big mess. Every thing in my life is an unresolved mess. If you have ever seen 'The Beast in the Cellar', that seems to be the way I should be treated but that is only a momentary thought. Of course I now know about how deceitful the heart is and think that the conflict within is at least part of what keeps us addicted to destructive behaviors. But I also know after hearing noted 'neurologist' Eric Kandel talk about what the Big Book also says that 'taking a trip' is also a short term solution. And I see my constant moving brought temporary reprieves in my case. What a confused post!
 
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Ephesians 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. 25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. 26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27 Neither give place to the devil.
This entry is difficult to start as I wonder about where it is going. Don't think I slept even 1 hour this morning and agai.n my thoughts were about childhood. It does seem that my childhood thoughts would be dragged behind me and in a sense drag me down. Which after reading the 18th verse of Isaiah 5:18 Woe unto them that draw iniquity with cords of vanity, and sin as it were with a cart rope: 19 That say, Let him make speed, and hasten his work, that we may see it: and let the counsel of the Holy One of Israel draw nigh and come, that we may know it!))) seems to apply in my understanding though I hope to be wrong in so doing. But that is only a part of what is a seemingly troublesome understanding of scripture. When I also think of the commandment dealing with parents it is difficult to reconcile verse 25 of Ephesians 4 and Isaiah 5:18. I am possibly being influenced by THE DECEIVER to bring these verses together and feel that I am offensive to God. Years ago, in the 70's, when I wasn't aware of the verses in Isaiah and Ephesians I was only troubled by the commandment about parents. Now I am hoping I am unnecessarily complicating matters. I will start at some random event and see where it leads. I don't recall where my mother and I were headed. I was driving my stepfathers' clunker and the brakes were shot. It was a close call to wrecking and my mothers' expression and comment still haunts me as it was as though she would have been happy if I would have been in a wreck. Did she always have a desire for me to be involved in some trouble if not even dead? I didn't quite think of it in those dreadful of terms at time with that almost wreck but read on. Something she liked to drill into our heads, that is my older brother and I from the earliest age was hatred of our father. She claimed that as an infant I had suffered a cut over my eye that required stitches because of something my father did which was never explained to me and I don't feel the cut was that bad although the scar was apparent for many years. It seemed to me to be an over reaction on her part. And around 1992 I received a letter from my father in which he seemed to be apologetic for having to divorce my mother when I was two years old. He claimed he couldn't stand her screaming which, made sense to me as I lived with not only the screaming but also the beating with a rubber hose when she could catch me. She usually couldn't get hold of me as I would jam myself under the bed and only on occasion would she be able to dislodge me with the help of my three years older brother. Plus it seems the pain inflicted was tolerable. I also recall what seems to be the first time something like her coming after me scared me so bad that I tried to keep out of her way. It may have been some time in the 90's that one of my mothers sisters told me several interesting things about both my mother and me. This was after her death and it is possible she didn't want to offend or enrage my mother while she was yet living. I was told that the three girls father was somewhat of a disciplinarian, for lack of a better term, but primarily with my mother. She supposedly had a skill for drawing and the father would burn her work for reasons unexplained. Also my mother supposedly had a temper early on. Her sister claims my mother was angry with something and took it out on their cat by throwing it against the wall. I find it believable as around age ten she threw a pot of water at her father and I was so upset I took off from the house intending to go who knows where. It was quite late at night and I must have walked about a mile and realized I had no place I could go and the streets were empty and I had to return home. Another little incident I was told of was my first introduction to my older brother. The claim is that my brother was playing with a toy tool set when I was brought home and his reaction was, "bring him here and I'll saw him up". He seemed to be after me all my life until adulthood. But as adults I lived in California and he in the Chicago area. So now I piece some of these things together and I get the feeling my mother may have been not so happy with me from the get go and possibly because I took after my father who she often compared me to in some very colorful language. This kind of childhood was at times difficult to live but and also unsettling to recall. Even when people talk about something as mundane as comfort food I don't want to say ham sandwiches and tv dinners. It just doesn't seem like comfort food. And the strange twist is that my mother would always get money from her sisters for her drinking and give me enough to eat at the restaurant and very often. One more unusual thing I was told that even while still in a stroller my mother would take me with her to the taverns. By age 11 or 12 I was ordering, or attempting to order, cocktails myself. At that age my mother had to order them for me. Usually a seven seven. Well fine pickle I've got myself into this time Ollie. What a confused mess but this took possibly 90 minutes and it stays. As I read over this before posting it doesn't sound like life was very bad growing up. But maybe that is because I was drinking alcohol at an early age.
 
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Am I clear of his blood a sermon by Charles Spurgeon based on Genesis 4:10 "And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground."​
Spurgeons' sermon referenced here sounds to be quite harsh. He accuses self righteous individuals of 'damnable behaviors. He claims that individuals who won't accept the requirement of blood sacrifice develop hatred of true believers. Those who seduce women set them on a course of prostitution or whoredom are what he calls guilty of the blood. He also rails against any who encourage behaviors contrary to the laws of God. What kind of punishment do these types of behavior incur? Does not sound good for some. But the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross is the sacrifice of cleansing blood as opposed to the bloodless sacrifice of Cain which incurs guilt. Who I may be thinking of here I will not record at this time. Too difficult to implicate certain individuals.
 
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Tired and went to sleep early about 7:40 pm and vivid dream of long ago well known acquaintance Gina falling or jumping off of couch and severely injuring her head and starting to have seizures and I tried to render aid and woke up refreshed and time was 8:08 pm. Strange to have dream of Gina! Must be that I substituted her for some post on this chat which I read earlier though the post did not mention injury as my dream. Seems unusual to dream that quickly. Gina found the answer to control drinking by drinking good Scotch. I knew that was not the answer. Very difficult to recall what year this occurred. Seems like a fair amount of time is just missing. Vaguely recall a neighbor driving a car which was a wreck and parking was under apartments. What this means I haven't a clue Jimmy Buffet.
 

Magenta

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Jul 3, 2015
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WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2022 - STEP TWO – WHAT IS THIS POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES?

Audio for STEP TWO – WHAT IS THIS POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES?

When we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, what did we understand about that Power? As human beings we all have some power. Some of us have the power to run for miles. Others can hardly walk across the street. Policemen have the power to stop us if we make a driving error. Others who don’t have authority still try to display power as they shout and accuse when they think we have done wrong. What then is this Power greater than ourselves that we can believe in and be restored to sanity?

I want you to know about the great and mighty power that God has for us followers. It is the same wonderful
power he used when he raised Christ from death and let him sit at his right side in heaven. (Ephesians 1:19-20 CEV)

What power does it take to raise a dead man to life? When Jesus gave His life to pay the price for the sins of the world, including ours, the mighty power of God was at work. We know that, because Jesus was raised from the dead. We have been living in darkness, dead to the ways of God, but He has called us to new life. Now, by believing in Jesus, we receive that new life by the same Power who raised Jesus from the dead, the Holy Spirit. Can you imagine? We who were once powerless over our dependencies can now live free from them because God’s Power restores us to sanity.

But God has given us his Spirit. That’s why we don’t think the same way that the people of this world think.
That’s also why we can recognize the blessings that God has given us.
The Spirit is the one who gives life!
Human strength can do nothing. The words that I have spoken to you are from that life-giving Spirit.

(1 Corinthians 2:12; John 6:63 CEV)

By our human strength we were unable to overcome the power of our dependencies but now
we are no longer slaves to sin. We have become children of God in whom the Holy Spirit lives.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank You for calling me out of darkness and filling me with
a Power greater than myself. I am no longer a slave to sin; I am a child of God. Amen

©2022 Partners in Hope
 
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I transferred to secular in 8th. Back to Catholic 11th then jail in 12th but got GED and first NT but went up in smoke using to roll tobacco. No idea if 'Sacred Heart'. 1/2 but 1 of 2 dead so no help on memories. One real close friend I had growing up was closer than my brother but last time I saw him at brothers funeral 1989 he was happy to see me as it was maybe 20 yrs but I am almost sure something serious happened to him and as the saying goes 'I could feel daggers in my back' from his mothers' stare. I was delivered from his fate, lots of prison time and I felt his reaction addressing me as 'sir' was maybe even indicative of a lobotomy as I think his last time was done in Wyoming and they may have more aggressive rehabilitation. My addictions kept me from crime after my short jail time but my friends addiction was crime. Hard for me to understand. He also saved my life one time and then sent me a Christmas card in 1989 which I never responded to. I still feel bad about the whole thing going back to maybe 1962' One big mess. Every thing in my life is an unresolved mess. If you have ever seen 'The Beast in the Cellar', that seems to be the way I should be treated but that is only a momentary thought. Of course I now know about how deceitful the heart is and think that the conflict within is at least part of what keeps us addicted to destructive behaviors. But I also know after hearing noted 'neurologist' Eric Kandel talk about what the Big Book also says that 'taking a trip' is also a short term solution. And I see my constant moving brought temporary reprieves in my case. What a confused post!
AA would say recovering catholic
 
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Guest
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 2022 - STEP TWO – WHAT IS THIS POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES?

Audio for STEP TWO – WHAT IS THIS POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES?

When we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, what did we understand about that Power? As human beings we all have some power. Some of us have the power to run for miles. Others can hardly walk across the street. Policemen have the power to stop us if we make a driving error. Others who don’t have authority still try to display power as they shout and accuse when they think we have done wrong. What then is this Power greater than ourselves that we can believe in and be restored to sanity?

I want you to know about the great and mighty power that God has for us followers. It is the same wonderful
power he used when he raised Christ from death and let him sit at his right side in heaven. (Ephesians 1:19-20 CEV)


What power does it take to raise a dead man to life? When Jesus gave His life to pay the price for the sins of the world, including ours, the mighty power of God was at work. We know that, because Jesus was raised from the dead. We have been living in darkness, dead to the ways of God, but He has called us to new life. Now, by believing in Jesus, we receive that new life by the same Power who raised Jesus from the dead, the Holy Spirit. Can you imagine? We who were once powerless over our dependencies can now live free from them because God’s Power restores us to sanity.

But God has given us his Spirit. That’s why we don’t think the same way that the people of this world think.
That’s also why we can recognize the blessings that God has given us. The Spirit is the one who gives life!
Human strength can do nothing. The words that I have spoken to you are from that life-giving Spirit.
(1 Corinthians 2:12; John 6:63 CEV)


By our human strength we were unable to overcome the power of our dependencies but now
we are no longer slaves to sin. We have become children of God in whom the Holy Spirit lives.


Prayer: Heavenly Father, Thank You for calling me out of darkness and filling me with
a Power greater than myself. I am no longer a slave to sin; I am a child of God. Amen


©2022 Partners in Hope
Seems we were lied to as catholics. religion was fraudulent.
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
60,322
29,573
113
Amen sister, and thank you!!
You are very welcome :) I am sorry to see you are now a guest :cry:

Though I do understand that there are many reasons why people move on, and some even return under
a new name, though if you were to return, you could even use this same name again :D God bless you, 49!