DEPRESSION: A Ladybug's True Story of Dark vs. Light

You're welcome, April.

Hi blue..just read your testimony.I'm glad you came through all that and glad you shared.Thanks.

Thank you, Church.

Thankyou ladybug..You are an inspiration in that there is hope to get closer and closer to God despite numerous past and present issues.

Blue, sorry I didn't go through all the 8 pages, did you require medication for the depression?

I took it for a few days, but some of the side effects of it, were symptoms I already had, so I couldn't tell if it was helping or not so I quit taking it. That's when I found CC.

I just read this again because I have been a bit down lately and u wanted to say thank you again for sharing all of your testimonies.
I don't think you know how much sharing them impacts some of us.
You are so encouraging to be able to keep going even after all you've been through.
So I just wanted to say thank you once again

Aww, thank you, Natania. I've been having a rough time the last couple years, with my herniated disk and sciatica, and more recently, with having to put Tequila to sleep in March. I'm still having an especially hard time dealing with that. :'(

Anyhoo, I'm glad that my testimonies help you.

Yeah... that sounds difficult
I'm sorry

I just read this again and this puts me into tears :')

That's when i know that actually i am not okay; i just pretend everything is. I am lying to myself that i a strong enough to overcome everything in my life, though in fact, i know that i need God.

thank you so much for your post. I am also struggling with depression and this post gives me hope

Great post. You helped a lot of people here. I wanna start a thread on insecurity. How do I start a thread here?

First of all, determine which forum you want it to go into. The Family forum would be a good one for an insecurity thread. At the top left of that forum is a button that says "post new thread". Click on that, give the thread a title, write the thread and click on "post reply" at the bottom.

Although I'm still young I've spent all my life alone. I've been bullied all my life and for that reason I have trust issues and it's hard for me to make friends because I never believe anyone is being sincere. Yes I have so called friends at church but they don't care, they never call me unless it's a great circumstance. Never had a girlfriend, I'm always all alone. I'm a only child which sucks because I truly have no one to be there for me that resembles any form of companionship. Sometimes I like being alone because I have my own self interests and I'm used to solidarity. I sometimes have felt that do I really belong here, would anyone even notice if I were gone. However reading your story it got me thinking, how lucky I am to have parents that love me and it would break their hearts of I ever did kill myself. I've always thought I'll be those that would rot alone with no one ever caring for them. I always thought and might still do think I'm at the bottom.

However reading your post made me wonder that people do suffer the same as me and even worse. I'm anti social as you were and I thought I was the weirdest kid that ever existed (I may still be). I go to church I hear but sometimes I don'tr listen. I believe like you said prayer can change my life. I suffer from apathy a lot and it's a horrible feeling. Thank God when I joined here I got to meet many nice and wonderful people who thought me many things and how to be a better christian. I'm sorry for what you went through but I'm happy you showed me that I'm not alone and that I can still turn it around. I pray God can give me happiness and friendship in my life. For now that's all I need friendship. I'll be content with that.

Socreta, none of us are ever alone. It is when we feel at our lowest, that God is nearest to us. There are alot of awesome people here, you will learn much from them. Talk to Natania (TemporaryCircumstances) and read her testimony. She is only 14 but has been through more bad stuff than anyone else here.. And as her user name implies, these are only temporary circumstances for you. For all of us. God bless you.

Oh, the Lord directed me here. He knew I needed to see this. I have also been a Christian for a long time. I share the depression that you describe. I am so glad for your honesty. It opened my heart to be honest too. Though I don't know that I write as eloquently as you do.

I have been in the pit. I am there right now.I have faith in God and, yet, I still have depression. People might say, well, how can Christians be depressed?"; or "they must not be much of a Christian if they are depressed. I love the Lord with all my heart. It's tough to feel like you are the only one that feels that way. Your sharing helped me know I was "not the only one."

Things are really hard right now. I am taking medications for depression and anxiety. I was doing okay until I asked for a refill on a prescription, and the Physician Asst. (PA) told me, I don't want to give you medicine if you don't need it." Up to that point I had been maintaining because of the meds. After he said that, I started freaking out that maybe I was an addict or something, or just taking meds and didn't need it. So, I gradually decreased the meds until I wasn't taking it anymore.
After a few weeks of not taking it, I started having problems, emotionally. My life got hard and hurtful. I started to feel suicidal.
I spoke to a different PA, and she said that I had a chemical imbalance. That it wasn't my fault and that the meds had helped. Why did I even listen to that other person. Because I am used to my father beating me down verbally and physically. I have had to forgive him, but sometimes it still has an affect on when I interact with people. I started to question myself. I felt far away from God.

Now, I have had some serious health issues, and I am still taking two meds for anxiety and depression, but I am depressed. I cry every night. I am having problems with my marriage and my job. Why do I tell you this? Because I know this will pass. That God has his hand on me. That you are not a bad person if you have depression. That God loves you and me.

Dinny, I'm so glad this thread has helped you. Please take a look at my other threads, and check out my CC faith book. They are stickied at the top of this forum.

I also suffer with depression since a young age. I remember crying simply because the sun was out, and every other summer it seemed to really depress me every time I saw the sun. And I can't even begin to tell you about how unloved and unwanted I felt. I also had a rough relationship with my momma, but never did I ever leave her although I was offered many times. In fact when I was born, she gave me up, and selfish people who needed company for their misery told her to get me back. I was always overweight and still am and my mom would say awful things to me all the time, even though she herself was not small.

I always felt awkward in school, but some of the teachers who knew how sweet I was, made it a little easier to get through. In fact, I've always been a sweet and sensitive person, even to this day! But the world has tried desperately to beat that person out of me, and almost succeeded. Then, my momma died after my sissy died of a herion overdose. That obviously made me even more depressed. So, I turned to God I recently asked him or better yet I gave my depression to him, and while I have my temporary feelings of sadness, I couldn't feel happier. He helped me realize that I earned every beaten my momma ever gave me because I was a handful. Plus, my momma always made sure I had nice clothes, nice home to live in, and food on the table! God, honestly helped me realize he can cure me better than any psychiatrist, or doctor ever did. And, inspite of the pain I am truly grateful for all my battles, because they drew me closer to him. And when he's on my team there is no battle I can't win. So, thanks for sharing, nice to not feel so alone. Grandma always said somebody has it worse than you, which always made me sad of course, but nonetheless she was right.
May God bless you with peace and happiness for the rest of your days!
God also helped me understand that when people know better, they do better..or was it Oprah?? Lol.. I can't remember

Sista, I thought I didn't read this but I actually read this when we first became friends on this website. Wellbeloved, you are an amazing person to me and Jesus Christ .

Aww, thank you. And I'm glad you read it again.