How do you fight-- and reconcile?

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mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,794
1,137
113
#1
James 4 Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)

4 What is causing all the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it your desires battling inside you? 2 You desire things and don’t have them. You kill, and you are jealous, and you still can’t get them. So you fight and quarrel. The reason you don’t have is that you don’t pray! 3 Or you pray and don’t receive, because you pray with the wrong motive, that of wanting to indulge your own desires.

James tells about the cause of our fights down here. There may be threads that talked on this, but i'd like to know how/why you got into certain fights... most of all, how you reconciled or got out of it. This may be with family members, co-workers, people in church, and strangers. So far i have not really found one to fight with in church (partly coz i am not confrontational perhaps), but what i see more important is how God brings back/heals the relationships.

Thank you.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,197
6,768
113
#2
[email protected] Dern flesh, lol.

How do we reconcile, agreeing to disagree in peace, maybe even being blessed with stronger relationships with God and those once torn relationships after?

Thanks for asking.

I think, for a bit, sometimes we have to go to our perspective corners and let God and ourselves preach to our souls, through the spirit and hopefully maturity.

I absolutely, completely and totally, appreciate and RESPECT ownership and reconciliation. His sacrifice showed us He feels the same.

And in His AMAZING case He took all our ownership on Himself. <WHOA!!!

The hard part, for me, is wrestling with the wounds caused by pride and stubbornness.

There are times when reconciliation can not been achieved because one or both want nothing to do with the other.

Personally, being one who tries to fix stuff (Mama Bear/ego again), it torments me when Reconciliation is NOT, an option, nor is knowing why?

You see the error on my part?

Expecting them to work it out with me so I can have inner peace, understanding, and all can be well, rut roh, no bueno.

Sometimes personalities and approaches just clash, and nothing is going to change that, just have to love, forgive, and accept. Really though, not just on the outside. For me that inside stuff sometimes requires I FAITH it, NOT fake it, till I catch up to what I am trying to demonstrate outwardly. SELF-pity, anger and defensiveness are not profitable or pretty.

Oops baggage alert, hahaha.

How do we reconcile, or at least try to remain peaceful with everyone... by being doers of the word and remembering we will ALWAYS NEED Jesus and His mercy.

Loving our Brothers and Sisters, and and anyone for that matter is NOT always easy, but the God in us has helps us grow and heal. I get on my own nerves plenty, hahaha. Shut it and quit nodding haha.

I am so thankful for family, biological and those that are established through Him. truly, though sometimes i have to faith, NOT FAKE, that too, lol.

I am so glad that one day we will have NO need to chk OURSELVES, or others because we will all be in our united glorified state.

We are all blessed when we do as our Sacred Father tells us.

Sorry so long.


Your turn Mar, thank you for NOT being confrontational...♡




.
 

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,267
113
Usa
#3
I carry no animosity nor judgements with me! I can strongly disagree with another person's arrogance,hatefulness and disrespect yet still pray for that person before I go to bed at night. Some ppl ,you can never reconcile with,it's just life.....but WE DO HAVE TO LOVE THEM! IF I let a situation cause me enough anger to sin,THEN I AM WRONG! I can only repent and answer for myself! Heaven will not be divided! We must have love and forgiveness in our hearts. I can however choose NOT to put myself in an abrasive person walkway!💖💖💖
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,794
1,137
113
#4
[email protected] Dern flesh, lol.

How do we reconcile, agreeing to disagree in peace, maybe even being blessed with stronger relationships with God and those once torn relationships after?

Thanks for asking.

I think, for a bit, sometimes we have to go to our perspective corners and let God and ourselves preach to our souls, through the spirit and hopefully maturity.

I absolutely, completely and totally, appreciate and RESPECT ownership and reconciliation. His sacrifice showed us He feels the same.

And in His AMAZING case He took all our ownership on Himself. <WHOA!!!

The hard part, for me, is wrestling with the wounds caused by pride and stubbornness.

There are times when reconciliation can not been achieved because one or both want nothing to do with the other.

Personally, being one who tries to fix stuff (Mama Bear/ego again), it torments me when Reconciliation is NOT, an option, nor is knowing why?

You see the error on my part?

Expecting them to work it out with me so I can have inner peace, understanding, and all can be well, rut roh, no bueno.

Sometimes personalities and approaches just clash, and nothing is going to change that, just have to love, forgive, and accept. Really though, not just on the outside. For me that inside stuff sometimes requires I FAITH it, NOT fake it, till I catch up to what I am trying to demonstrate outwardly. SELF-pity, anger and defensiveness are not profitable or pretty.

Oops baggage alert, hahaha.

How do we reconcile, or at least try to remain peaceful with everyone... by being doers of the word and remembering we will ALWAYS NEED Jesus and His mercy.

Loving our Brothers and Sisters, and and anyone for that matter is NOT always easy, but the God in us has helps us grow and heal. I get on my own nerves plenty, hahaha. Shut it and quit nodding haha.

I am so thankful for family, biological and those that are established through Him. truly, though sometimes i have to faith, NOT FAKE, that too, lol.

I am so glad that one day we will have NO need to chk OURSELVES, or others because we will all be in our united glorified state.

We are all blessed when we do as our Sacred Father tells us.

Sorry so long.


Your turn Mar, thank you for NOT being confrontational...♡

.
Sorry, i'm late today=). And then i have a short reply to you!!

When personalities and approaches differ, thank God He can change one or the other.. but when He does not, yes, we have to accept others, as i hope they do, us.

Often get in my own nerves too=(-- that's why He reminds us not to grow weary while doing good, to others and ourselves=).

Whew, was i awake part of the night.. and really thinking of shutting the eyes again. But got to move on to something now. I will get back, renee.

Thank you!
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,794
1,137
113
#5
I carry no animosity nor judgements with me! I can strongly disagree with another person's arrogance,hatefulness and disrespect yet still pray for that person before I go to bed at night. Some ppl ,you can never reconcile with,it's just life.....but WE DO HAVE TO LOVE THEM! IF I let a situation cause me enough anger to sin,THEN I AM WRONG! I can only repent and answer for myself! Heaven will not be divided! We must have love and forgiveness in our hearts. I can however choose NOT to put myself in an abrasive person walkway!💖💖💖
Thanks, least. I'm still at the point where i resent arrogance, disrespect... and continue to ask the Lord to remove that. Usually, i keep my mouth shut, but squirm inside hehe=(.

There were situations i was recalling as a child. I have not much i can recall w/ older siblings, but with a sister just before me, we often had skirmishes... abt the jumping rope... this and that. I am pulling out my memories, abt sibling fights and hair pulling as well=)).
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,794
1,137
113
#6
Hi again, renee, et al.

I know it's been said there are lots of fights in the BDF, but as i happen to be able to have a peek at only a few now, idk really how these go... I think the more impt thing is that we as adults learn to forgive and reconcile, but thats a process that may take time to learn.

When we were small, my mom often would be the umpire when we sibs quarreled. She'll help us make up again, say sorry to one another, then shake hands! It was kind of awkward, when we'd hesitantly or grudgingly shake hands , then have this sheepish smile on our faces afterwards. Now i look back, i think what patience it needed for our moms to be doing that, instead of just yelling and saying 'You both shut up or stop that, whatever!' So thankful for this gracious woman, our mom, who at this time still wants things in harmony and order.. relationships, her home, surroundings. Not that ive picked up her patience and diplomacy that well, but i strive.

My father's style is more of keeping quiet or not speaking much. When he was angry or had differences/misunderstandings, sometimes we heard their (mom and dad's) muted talks in the bedroom. But i learned later on, he chose not to talk w/ a particular person he could not get along with. Sometimes i did that. For example, when a child wasnt very polite during a meal, i just rose and not spoke much, to show i was not pleased. At times they got the msg, at others, no=(. Ah, but i can also give sermons and be the bad one when ive reached the limit. Often the 'quarrel' just simmers and cools. We begin to talk again and restore things to normal, thank God=).