letting go

So here are some questions:

1) what do you think of the letter?

2) even if I let go and forgive, can I still talk about my experiences?

3) what does moving on look like for YOU?

Thanks!

I feel like I have moved past the anger and hurt stage, now I am left with these old dried up emotions and fresh memories that I don't know what to do with.

For my health class we had to do three acts of kindness. For one of mine I wrote my teacher a letter. Here is what it said,

Dear Mr.L,

For a long time I was angry, no, LIVID with you. I was angry that you covered up the incident with Ross, I was angry about all the times you yelled at me about my grades even though I had learning disabilities, I was angry that you tried to get me to follow all five major religions of the world. I was angry about you yelling at my friends and making them cry. Most of all I was angry that your school gave me PTSD. I was very hurt by you.

I am not writing to blame you though. I am writing to forgive you. I want to forgive you for everything you put me through, the Ross thing, the yelling, the PTSD, all of it. I sincerely hope you accept my forgiveness. I really really do.

More than my forgiveness I hope that you accept God's forgiveness. I pray that your heart be changed. I pray that you come to know God.

While we are on the topic of God, I feel that I need to tell you the complete truth about God. The truth is that He LOVES YOU! That is the plain and simple truth.

I have come a long way from CMA. Thank you for the learning experiences. I'm not sure your true motives for doing what you did but thank you for caring enough to try to help.

I truly wish the best for you and your wonderful family.

-JFSurvivor

So there it is.

I have all these stories and thoughts about CMA that are still circling in my head and I want to talk about them, just so that people know. I don't want this to happen to anyone else EVER so I feel like my story is one of caution.

Also I am very socially awkward so sometimes I use my experience and only tell the funny parts of it as a conversation starter. For example there was this one time we were in Washington DC in the Library of Congress and one of my classmates screams (jokingly) "IT'S A BOMB!" We all froze as a security guard looks at my classmate then looks away. Or the fact that my prom would have been German polka dancing with middle schoolers. Thank God that got cancelled.

So here are some questions:

1) what do you think of the letter?

2) even if I let go and forgive, can I still talk about my experiences?

3) what does moving on look like for YOU?

Thanks!

I'm glad to see you wrote the letter. It's a good letter and I told you writing about your experience could be therapeutic for you. Yes, even though you've forgiven him, you can still talk about it. I told you that I only talk about what happened to me on here in CC, in hopes of helping someone else. I have no reason to talk about it in my personal life.. it's over and done with, i've forgiven him and moved on. I pray you can move on from this also. Maybe you should write a letter to God. Write down all your feelings about this, how it makes you feel, how you're left with a bunch of emotions. Tell God that you're turning this over to him to carry. Ask him to remove these leftover emotions. He's more than willing to take this burden from you.