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Heavy Meddlers
By: Lowanla (me)
You don't fit their perfect world
They itch to label and control
cause everyone's gotta have somebody
but no one is gonna fit their plastic mold
why don't all you Heavy Meddlers
just leave me alone
guess I just gotta go out on my own
Just because I like video games
and am a clueless fashionista
And it's hard for me to find reason.
what do I have to throw my boobs
to every mans face
just so you know I like men?
Of course I do
obviously
I am just not as bold
but maybe because
I just don't know how
Maybe I am just a little afraid
Because it's hard to open my heart
Don't try to change me
Don't try to set me up with who
You think I should be with
Stop meddling
It's my mind
my heart is broken...
I don't want anyone else..
stop controlling
telling me
Fixing me
all of you
just leave me alone...
By: Lowanla (me)
You don't fit their perfect world
They itch to label and control
cause everyone's gotta have somebody
but no one is gonna fit their plastic mold
why don't all you Heavy Meddlers
just leave me alone
guess I just gotta go out on my own
Just because I like video games
and am a clueless fashionista
And it's hard for me to find reason.
what do I have to throw my boobs
to every mans face
just so you know I like men?
Of course I do
obviously
I am just not as bold
but maybe because
I just don't know how
Maybe I am just a little afraid
Because it's hard to open my heart
Don't try to change me
Don't try to set me up with who
You think I should be with
Stop meddling
It's my mind
my heart is broken...
I don't want anyone else..
stop controlling
telling me
Fixing me
all of you
just leave me alone...
S
well..it's all just really confusing right now.
What exactly am I holding on to?
Yo hate me right now..as far as I know.
..I don't Blame you for hating me..
If you want me to hold on,
I think I need a little more than this..
I need a little more from you.
I don't know what else to tell you.
I don't know what to do..
what do you want me to do?
S
why would anything
you do or have done
make me love you any less?
I want to see you!
I'm eager,
hopeful
patiently waiting.
I get mad and frustrated only because
I think sometimes you stop loving me.
I think maybe you don't want me anymore..
I have to make sure you still want me to
say yeah I'm yours, I'm your girlfriend.
So, I don't feel alone in this..
I need some hope from you too..
You give me a lot of hope.
I can't change who you are
but I can love you,
I can be there for you,
I want to be there.
you have to let me in..
You have to let me try.
I like supporting you,
you give me purpose.
Why should I be afraid of my dreams,
there is a reason we dream
That always gives me hope.
When I woke a few mornings ago
I heard a little boys voice:
fresh forgiveness
The Lord said I'm forgiven.
I don't know if that means anything,
but
I will never give up,
Although I might get angry
and frustrated
and pout around and say things
I don't mean..
Then I just feel guilty,
because you are the best person
to ever happen to me..
I still really really really love you
I want you, I like you,
you are the man of my dreams.
and I will see you, and you will see me.
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S
Well.. No need to rush things.
I can wait for you if you want me to.
When I said 'let go' I meant to let this
Poetry Christianchat website go. At least for awhile.
It's hard for me to, because it's how I talk to you..
I would still like to see you..
Maybe if I let this site go, God will
help me to see you. I trust him.
God will provide.
So I hope you know,
I'll be waiting for you.
I love you.
I can wait for you if you want me to.
When I said 'let go' I meant to let this
Poetry Christianchat website go. At least for awhile.
It's hard for me to, because it's how I talk to you..
I would still like to see you..
Maybe if I let this site go, God will
help me to see you. I trust him.
God will provide.
So I hope you know,
I'll be waiting for you.
I love you.
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S
Gods plan for my life...
for good and not evil
for a hope and a future..
Well ...maybe I hate Gods plan for my life,
This was really important to me
but then again that's like saying I hate him for
sparing my life. (Which he has)
Im grateful for that though ..
I'm just angry at him
cause he knows I'm going to listen...
I wanted this so bad,
I KNOW he wants good for me...
and I am willing to let go and obey.
...it still hurts.
I wish they wouldn't rub it in.
I hate when people encourage
that there is something else better
for me..
but they are right..
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S
Shallow
by: Lowanla (me)
I'm breaking up with you.
I don't want to come see you.
i don't want to marry you.
I don't want to be with you.
because I'm shallow.
Because I want to break your heart.
because you called me shallow.
because you said I was ugly.
because you threatened me.
because you are too embarrassed by me.
because you don't defend me when I need you.
because you aren't a Christian.
Because you want to change me
because you use me.
because you would rather put your friends and others before me.
Because you won't give me one stupid email to save this..
because of your pride.
because you think appealing to my flesh
is what is going to save this relationship..
but it's not..
because you refuse to grow up.
because you all complain that I complain too much..
and you hate my complaining,
And you don't want to fix it.
so I would stop complaining
Because you aren't man enough to be with me.
I don't care anymore.
I'll settle for whoever I get set up with.
You are in the world,
why settle for love?
I know you cheated on me,
you were with others more beautiful than me,
they all want you to be with someone like that.
so go ahead and listen to them tell you what to do,
they know what's best for you after all..
Why don't you just leave me alone..
I don't care if you threaten me..
for once I'd like to be without fear.
because I can't save you!
by: Lowanla (me)
I'm breaking up with you.
I don't want to come see you.
i don't want to marry you.
I don't want to be with you.
because I'm shallow.
Because I want to break your heart.
because you called me shallow.
because you said I was ugly.
because you threatened me.
because you are too embarrassed by me.
because you don't defend me when I need you.
because you aren't a Christian.
Because you want to change me
because you use me.
because you would rather put your friends and others before me.
Because you won't give me one stupid email to save this..
because of your pride.
because you think appealing to my flesh
is what is going to save this relationship..
but it's not..
because you refuse to grow up.
because you all complain that I complain too much..
and you hate my complaining,
And you don't want to fix it.
so I would stop complaining
Because you aren't man enough to be with me.
I don't care anymore.
I'll settle for whoever I get set up with.
You are in the world,
why settle for love?
I know you cheated on me,
you were with others more beautiful than me,
they all want you to be with someone like that.
so go ahead and listen to them tell you what to do,
they know what's best for you after all..
Why don't you just leave me alone..
I don't care if you threaten me..
for once I'd like to be without fear.
because I can't save you!
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S
I want to close this door
even though I keep coming back
in hopes that it will close a wound
and some healing can happen..
a lot of damage has been done
and ..I know its my fault
I don't know what else to do..
I don't know what else to say..
I don't know how to fix it
I need to shut up. ..
I know its embarrassing for you to be so open..
I'm sorry for humiliating you like this all this time..
that's why I gotta close this door.
even though I keep coming back
in hopes that it will close a wound
and some healing can happen..
a lot of damage has been done
and ..I know its my fault
I don't know what else to do..
I don't know what else to say..
I don't know how to fix it
I need to shut up. ..
I know its embarrassing for you to be so open..
I'm sorry for humiliating you like this all this time..
that's why I gotta close this door.
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S
Regardless how this looks...
You might be playing games,
but I'm not..
I just want to move forward,
to take the next step
I guess I was to eager and trying to
force it to happen too soon...
I felt your heart, it felt cold.
I also felt it breaking.
a lot of sadness.
These cause me to have compassion for you.
If I didn't feel these things I wouldn't make this so easy for you..
but I suppose you need this..
I don't like seeing you suffer
I like helping you
I can't stop feeling you
even when they say let go
of what?
I don't know what will happen
I just know..I feel you
it makes me care
it makes me have heart
it makes me love you more
and I know when you aren't hurting
even if you might not want to be with me anymore
I'm still here for you
You might be playing games,
but I'm not..
I just want to move forward,
to take the next step
I guess I was to eager and trying to
force it to happen too soon...
I felt your heart, it felt cold.
I also felt it breaking.
a lot of sadness.
These cause me to have compassion for you.
If I didn't feel these things I wouldn't make this so easy for you..
but I suppose you need this..
I don't like seeing you suffer
I like helping you
I can't stop feeling you
even when they say let go
of what?
I don't know what will happen
I just know..I feel you
it makes me care
it makes me have heart
it makes me love you more
and I know when you aren't hurting
even if you might not want to be with me anymore
I'm still here for you
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S
You might not like Christian music...but there is power in every song.
this is how I feel..most of the time.
"Need You Now (How Many Times)"
Lyrics by: Plumb
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here..
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now
this is how I feel..most of the time.
"Need You Now (How Many Times)"
Lyrics by: Plumb
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here..
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now
[video=youtube_share;9ylnx0NA9X4]http://youtu.be/9ylnx0NA9X4[/video]
S
Do you just want to be friends?
does that question make you mad?
or ..you don't care anymore...
well i have to ask ..
It will probably make you mad,
and you will probably just insult me..and
push me away more.
but I have to ask.
I can't do this alone..
I can't force you to be with me..
I can't do this if you refuse to try..
and you want me to wait for you.
I have to know.
It might hurt but to know the cruel truth is better
than living in a lie, believing you loved me all this time..
that's why I'm still here.
but I can get over it, obviously...not quickly,
might take me awhile
does that question make you mad?
or ..you don't care anymore...
well i have to ask ..
It will probably make you mad,
and you will probably just insult me..and
push me away more.
but I have to ask.
I can't do this alone..
I can't force you to be with me..
I can't do this if you refuse to try..
and you want me to wait for you.
I have to know.
It might hurt but to know the cruel truth is better
than living in a lie, believing you loved me all this time..
that's why I'm still here.
but I can get over it, obviously...not quickly,
might take me awhile
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S
You said ..
you learned your lesson
so I figure that means you don't want to
do this anymore with me.
I can respect that.
I guess I can't learn my lesson..
Just let me go,
don't come back to me.
I don't want to feel you.
Let me live my life.
stop doing this to me..
If you learned your lesson...
why do you keep coming back to me?
Let me go!
you learned your lesson
so I figure that means you don't want to
do this anymore with me.
I can respect that.
I guess I can't learn my lesson..
Just let me go,
don't come back to me.
I don't want to feel you.
Let me live my life.
stop doing this to me..
If you learned your lesson...
why do you keep coming back to me?
Let me go!
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