Lovesong Poetry

Where We Stand
by: Lowanla (me)​

I can hear you singing through the
radio airwaves in someone elses voice
in someone elses songs,
Scolding me one time,
then holding me, saving my life, the next,
dispairing your love, a frustrated heart,
longing, calling, happily dreaming,
of the life thats not happening.​

If you are comfortable then thats fine with me,
but don't tell me something you don't want to see,
don't tell me I am mistreating you,
that I'm ignoring you, shutting you out of my life,
You wanted space and comfort where you are safe
I love you, to let you stay where you are,
Where you can thrive, because I want you alive..​

don't tell me I don't love you...
when I am now soul bound my heart in a tight fiery grasp,
What I gave up for you...
be satisfied..
be satisfied..
Or demand something new
that will make you
believe me when I say,
I am that in love with you.​

otherwise do not complain, for you are safe,
all is well, and I am in love with you..
be satisfied...​

I'm in love with you.​

<3 <3 <3 The Adaptable Monster <3 <3 <3
By: Lowanla (me)​

All purity gleams on shame's tearful sweat bead
that sparkles off of the suns judgement light.
Sold a crown and a soul just for you, my love
You are really something special to me,
I love you a million songs, a million kisses,
a million times, I'd give anything
to make you smile again...​

or you could say you hate me, say anything...
Just keep doing what your doing,
I love you no matter what
You always make me happy..​

just say you're still my friend..
I need you in my life,
I'm the adaptable monster,
I can work with you,
until we get this love right,
I love you, I am the adaptable monster
your strange love and wife​

There really is no meaning without you,
I'm dead, there is no reason to go on,
don't go to far my love, don't leave me alone
be happy and bloom do not say doom,
I'm dying, I'm crying, I need you to say life,
you are the reason I have a reason,
I can't change the past, but can make the future right,​

just say you're still my friend..
I need you in my life,
I'm the adaptable monster,
I can work with you,
until we get this love right,
I love you, I am the Adaptable monster
your strange love and wife​

Why I Did It
By: Lowanla (me)​

This is the most Holiest of evils...
To be forced to choose between Heaven and Hell
Do not make me decide between Heaven or a mans Life
Even then decide between whom I shall love...
for surely I shall choose life...
for surely I shall choose Love
and be damned to eternity for what I believe is right​

For I love him...
My love has many times saved my life
I choose life
I choose love​

Even if that means what it means..
It is why I did it,
because you will never make me decide
for the sake of holy what is right...​

Dark or Light,
I chose life
I choose love..​

I chose his life
I love him..
and he loves me​

His life is my life...
and my life is his life.
That is the story
of us..​

Ransom A Heart
by: Lowanla (me)​

Ransom A Heart
just so you can fit into the mold
Ransom A Dream
just so you won't be left out in the cold
Ransom A Future
Haunt and destroy all my future hopes with what you foretold
Ransom Your Life
I cannot take this anymore​

There is no sleep only constant worry
wondering if this might be the day
I cannot take this its too much
I am the stupid one, and I am sorry​

Its haunting me, the anxiety,
the worry..
Its haunting me.
I've lost my appetite, I've lost my sleep,
I cannot read, I cannot think..
Its become like this for me daily.​

You are worth a whole lot to me,
infact you are someone very special,
if that counts for anything,
what was said was said, what was done was done,
don't listen to the bad things, its not worth dying over,
you are really something worth living for, to me...​

I don't care if I live or die,
and I don't care about my own life,
but I worry about yours all the time..
For all the pain I caused you,
I'd rather you hate me and be alive,
then love me and be crushed in death.
Do not say death..​

don't go
give me some hope
don't leave me all alone
I can't take this anymore
don't want face the unknown, alone
if you aren't here, I can't handle this..
I can't take this, give me some hope​

Everything will be okay,
don't be ashamed,
its not too late,
we can just write this off to be
another bad day...
it will be okay.
I don't hate you, I love you,
I need you here..​

What must I do to make you stay,
what must I do to make you happy...?​

cause you're worth dying for,
You are worth changing for,
You are worth rearranging for,​

Most of all... ​

You are also worth living for.​

Land of Confusion by Genesis

I must've dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They're moving into the street.

Now did you read the news today
They say the danger's gone away
But I can see the fire's still alight
There burning into the night.

There's too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Can't you see
This is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

Ooh Superman where are you now
When everything's gone wrong somehow
The men of steel, the men of power
Are losing control by the hour.

This is the time
This is the place
So we look for the future
But there's not much love to go round
Tell me why, this is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

I remember long ago -
Ooh when the sun was shining
Yes and the stars were bright
All through the night
And the sound of your laughter
As I held you tight
So long ago -

I won't be coming home tonight
My generation will put it right
We're not just making promises
That we know, we'll never keep.

Too many men
There's too many people
Making too many problems
And not much love to go round
Can't you see
This is a land of confusion.

Now this is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for.

This is the world we live in
And these are the names we're given
Stand up and let's start showing
Just where our lives are going to.
​

Pink Roses
by: Lowanla (me)​

There are pink flowers you are piling
upon a tomb
why do I dream these things?
what does your business have to do with me,
the roses are many they are pretty.​

There are Two Faces
by: me​

Ones a child forever innocent afraid
that's the prisons curse I cannot shake,
One is a very bad person locked away
Possibly for a good reason
what if it were me?
it could be a bad season
Why have you not asked the perfect question,
Why is she hidden well?
I'm afraid of the being, the supressed, it is me, is it me?
but I think, I know, I don't know, its me,
Its hot verses cold
and I've seen so many women
who've idolized her.
there is one side who does not like what she sees..
That doesn't seem like me, and yet..
maybe, maybe not,
am I really that thing?
these are questions burning in my head..​

(Currently listening to: Frank Sinatra - Fly Me to the Moon - YouTube )​

Untitled
By: Lowanla (me)​

All these years..
before you I was not interested in these things,
they had no spark before you, they had no meaning,
all these years of learning, just for you..​

I've learned how to write poetry for you,
I've learned how to sing for you,
I've learned how to draw for you,
I've learned how to play instruments for you,
I learned rock music, classical music, jazz music,
all the genres just so I could understand you..
I don't know anything about the world,
I'm just learning everything,
I feel so left out..
I don't like this world just fascinating you.
You're like a moving statue,
I'll say it again..I love you.​

inside i'm hurting, and I'm happy,
don't let go, for you I feel, pride.​

I became less afraid for you,
I learned how to become more,
and more brave for you, daily.
I am learning how to fight for you.
I am learning how to fight for myself.
Something inside of me lights up
when I think of you,
I wonder if you can feel what I feel too?
I'll say it again...I love you.​

In The Case of Rei Ayunami Monologue
From: Neon Genesis Evangelion​

Rei - "Who am I? You Are Rei Ayunami.. But who are you?
Are you Rei Ayunami as well? Correct I am the thing that
is recognized as Rei Ayunami.. We are all things recognized
as Rei Ayunami.. How could all of those possibly be me?
It is simply because the others call us Rei Ayunami..It is
simply because the others call us Rei Ayunami that is the only
reason...You possess a false body and a fake soul..Do you know why?
I am neither false nor fake..I am simply me..
No..you are an empty shell with a false soul created by a man named
Gendo Ikari...You are just an object that is pretending to be a human..
look deep within yourself..do you percieve the almost intangible..and physical
presense that lurks..below your waking self...look inside your darkest dreams..
It is there that your true identity lies..
No I am me..I became myself by the instrumentality of the links and relationships
between myself and others..I am formed by interaction with others..They create me as
I create them..These relationships and interactions..serve to shape the patterns
of my heart and mind...Yes that is the name in which I share with those who
have created the thing that is Rei..That is what will continue to shape me..
..but there is someone else who is your true self..You don't know her
but she exists...You deny that fact and attempt to surpress that facet
of your reality..because she might not have human form..
because then the present self might cease to be..This is what you fear..
That you will become nothing, you are frightened by the minds of others
of another exist...
I'm afraid...why is that? because your current self will have never existed..
because you will cease to be...No I am not...I am happy...because I want to die...
I want dispair...I want to return to nothing..but I can't ..he won't let me return to
nothingness not yet..I still exist because he needs me...but when everything is over
when I am of no use anymore...he will abandon me..I've prayed for the
day he would abandon me...
But now...now I fear it...​

See Evil, Hear Evil, Speak No Evil
By: Lowanla (me)​

Where are you going?
Why Are you leaving me all alone?
Its my fault isn't it?​

Why must I be included in your life?
You have everything..
You could have anybody..
Yet you were still unhappy..
with all you had...
I don't understand...
I tried, but it wasn't enough..
I am sorry...I could not protect you
from the bad people..
I wanted to save you from them..
I could not,
You would not let me..
You wanted me to run away and
destroy my old life,
and be free...
but I could not,
I am weak, I am a fool..
I am not as strong as you..
I cannot take back the things that cause you pain..
I wanted to help you...to make you happy...
because I loved you...
I know its my fault...
you were exactly right,
nobody ever believed me...
they were judgemental and cruel..
thats why they could not help me.
they only hated...you were right...
...forgive me.​

"Zzyzx Rd."
Lyrics by: Stone Sour
​

I don't know how else to put this
It's taken me so long to do this
I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body's curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I'm still afraid

Propped up by lies and promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe its time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through

Tell me I should stick around for you
Tell me I could have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I get to go home in one week
But I leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry

I'm following suit and directions
I crawl up inside for protection
I'm told what to do and I don't know why

I'm over existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family
I'm ready to die in obscurity
'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
You still don't think I'm going see this through

Tell me I'm a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still to tired to care and I gotta go

Oh yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah, yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Go home

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go​

Goodnight sweet baby,
by: Lowanla (me)​

To all the children who dwell in the night
the baby's cold and all alone,
with no one to hold him,
what happen to your hearts?
Take care of each other,
cause no one else will.
You are survivors you can make it..​

Good night sweet baby,
sweet dreams in the land of one winged angels,
fly to the land where love never ends,
sing me a melody where you are understood,​

the darkest redemption is not for this old heart
for one beloved darling, I wanted to hold
I wanted to so much to hold you in my arms..
why could you others not understand
and try to care for such a precious heart
he needed a real friend..​

Good night sweet baby,
sweet dreams in the land of one winged angels,
fly to the land where your love never ends,
sing me a melody where you are understood,​

Good night sweet baby,
sweet dreams in the land of one winged angels,
fly to the land where your love never ends,
sing me a melody where you are understood,​

I love you...
Goodnight sweet baby.​

*sigh* goodnight...​

Home
lyrics: Depeche Mode​

Here is a song from the wrong side of town
Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound
And it pounds from within and is pinning me down​

Here is a page from the emptiest stage
A cage or the heaviest cross ever made
A gauge of the deadliest trap ever laid​

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong here​

The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets
That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet
Well I'm drowning in time to a desperate beat​

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong​

Feels like home
I should have known
From my first breath​

God send the only true friend I call mine
Pretend that I'll make amends the next time
Befriend the glorious end of the line​

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong here​

(Donnie Darko is my favorite movie...The rabbit in the movie represents my "Dream" to me....)​

"Mad World"
Lyrics by: Gary Jules​

http://youtu.be/DR91Rj1ZN1M​

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow​

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world​

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me​

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... mad world
Enlarging your world...​

...Mad world​

Closure - by: me

Why must we search for reason
when happiness is something to be created
why must we dig up the past?
a past holds good memories;
good memories are meant for good people.
Why do you think I feel guilty all the time?
For what reason my guilt is doubled for nothing.
Decadence is my home,
sorrow is where I am welcome.
its a never ending thing with me.
I dont' know why
I am comfortable.

Did you need closure?
I don't know what to tell you,
I feel as if I have failed you, again.
did you get your closure?

As I walk upto the tombstone covered in the
piles of pink roses I lay it down over the rest.
I don't know what it means, but it haunts me.
Why did you show this to me?​

Empathy
By: me​

What is it, where does it come from?
Why do you have to feel other peoples feelings and sorrows.
I think it comes from guilt thats what I think..
You worry about things so much other peoples
feelings catch and haunt you,
even those a million miles away.
...I don't know why.​

I've had enough of fate, its too cruel
I felt your heartaches and personal sufferings,
I spent a year trying to find a way to save you..
I've searched high and low even to pray for you,
nothing seemed to work, nothings changed... its the same,
I even tried to let go of you, hoping it would give you time
to think about how good your life is.
But you kept haunting me, and your children too!​

from what you've said from the beginning..
I didn't want that to ever happen,
its happening and I can't stop it.
Don't tell me you can control it,
do not play me for a fool..
from what I knew this would eventually hurt you.
You knew this..
Why, why won't you allow me to go too?​

Someone said fatefully, I was going to marry an evan,
I don't even know or have met that person,
I don't want to, so tell me why I have to
I don't want them, I want you,
and if I cannot have you then, please don't disappear,
You can' have anyone you want, I will pretend like
I don't care...please..
I'll be okay if I know you are too...
You are that important to me, I don't know anything,​

How could you do this to me,
build me up so that I would fall in love,
so that I would do everything in my power
to make sure what you said wouldn't come to pass...
Don't do that to me, I can't think, I can't breath,
I'll do anything, give anything,
fall to my knees with my head in my hands,​

why are you always leaving me?
I needed you.​

You are who I want and who I need..​

(ahha! This song is so my situation, my theme song of the year.)​

Wrong
lyrics by: Depeche Mode​

Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!
Wrong!​

I was born with the wrong sign
In the wrong house
With the wrong ascendancy
I took the wrong road
That led to the wrong tendencies
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time
For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme
On the wrong day of the wrong week
I used the wrong method with the wrong technique​

Wrong!
Wrong!​

There's something wrong with me chemically
Something wrong with me inherently
The wrong mix in the wrong genes
I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means
It was the wrong plan
In the wrong hands
The wrong theory for the wrong man
The wrong eyes on the wrong prize
The wrong questions with the wrong replies​

Wrong!
Wrong!​

I was marching to the wrong drum
With the wrong scum
giving out the wrong energy
Using all the wrong lines
And the wrong signs
With the wrong intensity
I was on the wrong page of the wrong book
With the wrong rendition of the wrong look
With the wrong moon, every wrong night
With the wrong tune playing till it sounded right yeah​

Wrong!
Wrong!
(Too long)
Wrong!
(Too long)​

I was born with the wrong sign
In the wrong house
With the wrong ascendancy
I took the wrong road
That led to the wrong tendencies
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time
For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme
On the wrong day of the wrong week
I used the wrong method with the wrong technique​

Wrong!​

Closure II
By: me​

There is no escape.
No matter where I stand,
if it be my mind, heart or hand.
I am a prisoner to somebody.
There is no more blood to give
it would seem its gone forever.
When there is no blood there is no more,
and the past is just a hallucination.
Just a reflection of what was.
You did not want me...but for closure only.
It took my most of my hard earned
dreams, reality, and sanity..destroyed.
You watched them all slip from my fingers.
You sent every demon, and all your children
to destroy and torment me until I would listen.
Oh well, as long as you have all the love in the world,
as long as you are okay, then its fine with me.
Did you get your closure?
Regardless of what you've done to me,
I still love you, and I have forgiven you.
I don't know what I could give anymore,
I am not that person anymore.
Just a reflection, a fading memory,
her blood does not run in me anymore.
Did you get your closure?
I am not fit for either side, I'm so tired.
Can't you be okay with just the mundane
and know no matter what you've done
I will always love you, no matter what.
Even if we cannot be..
I won't ever stop loving you,
even if you don't want to be with me.
I won't ever stop loving you,
Did you get your closure?
Then be satisfied.​

Let me pick my the pieces of my life,
and try to make my way through this
alone, I'll be just fine..​

"How You Remind Me"
Lyrics by: Nickelback​

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling​

And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am​

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"​

Me: "yeah, yeah, yeah"
You: "no, no"​

it's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have - near killed you​

And this is how, you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how, you remind me
Of what I really am​

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"​

You: "yet, yet, yet"
Me: "no, no"​

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what i really am
This is how you remind me
Of what i really am​

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
for handing you a heart worth breaking
and I've been wrong, i've been down,
been to the bottom of every bottle
these five words in my head
scream "are we having fun yet?"
yet, yet
are we having fun yet?​

As good as it gets and then some
by: Lowanla (me)​

I admit that we were never the greatest couple,
This is not the greatest love story ever told.
It is of the most frustrating understandable natures.
I could easily drop this and move on,
but something inside me cries for you and wants to stay,
it won't let me move on. Something inside
loves you as if I've always known you.​

You nursed me back to health when I was nearly gone
you would not let me go that day.
You burned me with your flame so that I would stay awake.
You...are really something.
I'm feeling a little bit better today..a little sick..​

I don't want you to go away, please stay,
I know I always say things to hurt you,
lately I've been doing my best to change,
because you remain even when I push you away,
so I choose to change my attitude,
but this is so tough for me..​

Its taking time but I am making my way
toward life in the way of freedom,
so nothing you've done would be in vain,
I'm making my way, please I love you.
know that. You are worth it.​