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jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#181
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#181
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#182
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#182
Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.
 
D

doodles91

Senior Member
#183
Mar 27, 2006
117
0
16
#183
I've been sitting down for like...30minutes now...and it's starting to take a toll on the comfortability of my rear. Now that's random.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#184
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#184
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
 
C

cpuaggie

Guest
#185
#185
For someone who was supposedly against slavery, Abraham Lincoln had slaves.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#186
May 11, 2009
271
0
16
38
#186
in a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#187
May 11, 2009
271
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#187
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#188
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#188
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#189
May 11, 2009
271
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16
38
#189
Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#190
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
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#190
Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#191
May 11, 2009
271
0
16
38
#191
Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#192
May 11, 2009
271
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16
38
#192
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#193
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#193
If Chuck Norris was a doctor- There would be no more sickness.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#194
May 11, 2009
271
0
16
38
#194
For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#195
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#195
In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.
 
M

missy2shoes

Guest
#196
#196
you guys crack me up :D
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#198
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#198
Chuck Norris once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.
 
Youreyeslightup

Youreyeslightup

Senior Member
#199
May 11, 2009
271
0
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#199
Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.
 
jaylynn83

jaylynn83

Banned
#200
Nov 14, 2008
2,715
4
0
#200
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a Indian.
 
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